


The Jackal in the shadows

by TarnishedJackal (Whitedemoness)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adorable Awkward Male Lavellan, Background events, City Elf Culture and Customs, City elves can be bad asses, Dalish Mage has no clue, Dread Wolf, Elf rights, F/M, Inquisitor and Dorian romance eventually, M/M, RogueElf, Secrets, Sensuality, Slow Burn, Solas and OC romance main theme, Spicy, The Inquisitor has a friend with sense, Women are Dangerous, not quite magic, rogues are a little unhinged
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-09-16 14:32:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 156,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9276194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whitedemoness/pseuds/TarnishedJackal
Summary: City elves are not always pitiful and downtrodden. Tavaiya is the Jackal, a rogue, raised beside a lesser noble who was hiding he was a mage and at the conclave as his bodyguard. When the only familiar person after the disaster that forms the breach is Leliana she chafes at the idea of just falling in line. With perhaps the least suitable Dalish elf Mage as Inquisitor it's a good thing he's managed to lure her in with his friendship. The Herald of Andraste needs a Left hand of his own, but there's just enough of a puzzle to this rogue as to catch a wolf's attention.But Solas has never had to deal with a Jackal and may regret starting something she will not let him walk away from.





	1. Chapter 1

AN: Due to my computer not being able to handle it I have not actually played DAI. Even if I did Origins and 2 over and over. However, fanfiction provides a great deal of information and I like to ignore Canon as it suits me. As much as I truly enjoy the Dalish, I grumbled at the thought of being denied a city elf option so I decided..it was time to make someone who would turn the inquisition on it's head. And yes, as of now this is entirely a Solas/OC. I'm planning on a Dorian/Inquisitor later on but it will take a while before he gets there..so be patient as there is some one sided Inquisitor/OC for a while since he's an Adorkable one who has to figure things out.   
()()()()()()()

“...I don't think I'll ever like the color green again.” Tavaiya mumbled, hands slipping down to rest on hilts of her blades. Her bow was broken and lost somewhere in the chaos. Haven was now a Hell. Demons and magical horrors forming everywhere. Corpses and fires making it where she'd probably be avoiding meat for a while until the acrid smoke was a memory. Screams and the fallen. 

It didn't change the moment. The moment demanded she twist and lash out, her blades flickering in the strange green light overhead. She had been directing her comment to the dwarf with his lovely crossbow but he just snorted.

“I hear that one, Secrets.”

Varric. Prisoner, storyteller, captive of one Cassandra Seeker Pentaghast. 

Tavaiya, currently jobless rogue of mischief, a semi conscript of one Sister Nightingale Leliana. It was kind of poetic really. Since her bow was broken she left the arrows and bolts to Varric while she flung her body at the demons. 

Her mind crackled a warning and she twisted in acrobatics only one of her ilk could, moving just before the rage demon's claws would have struck. It was a special battle sense she had, though it was useful outside of battle too..

No magic ran in her veins, though it had her mother's. But Tavaiya could sense mana. Right now her senses were going crazy with the arching green light above them and the many pinpricks she could tell were around but every demon hit a sense of hers and she just knew where they were. Rage was like electricity firing in her brain, the arcane horrors were a taste of acidic spoiled wine on her palate. Every sense was involved with mana it was just different which ones. So in a whirlwind of sensory overload she let it guide her better than her eyes. Step here, leap, twist, strike, backstab. It became a chaotic dance that surged with adrenaline. 

Lemon acidity and bile with a frisson up her spine? Leap out of the area before spells landed. She couldn't have properly described all the warnings she got but it was enough that her body knew how to translate them and she simply acted. Her additional sense was impossible to explain, to replicate.

Right now it was keeping her and Varric alive. 

“That's the last of them Secrets!” Varric hollered as she had ash explode in her face after slashing through the final shade. Wiping her face she inclined her head and went up, gathering his bolts with him. She'd tried telling him her name was Tavaiya, her nickname was Jackal. Varric had decided she needed something else. Why secrets though, she had no idea. Possibly neither did Varric.

“I think I need to get another poultice..” Tavaiya grumbled as she made her way over. There was a lull for now. It'd been like this for a few days. Mayhem, breathe. Mayhem again. It struck without a real pattern and sometimes they had barely time to pop the vials off a few rare potions. Sometimes the shades and demons had valuables on them, from who knows where or what unlucky soul. Varric and Tavaiya hadn't been shy about finding places to stash them, to return to later. If they had a later.

Rogues tended to come in two flavors really. The sort that would kill you for anything, and the sort who were loyal. The variance on the spectrum had to do with what sort of hell you'd lived through but Varric and Tavaiya had recognized that rare loyal streak that glimmered like a firestorm in each other fast enough.

It helped that earlier in the first morning after the breach ripped open Tavaiya had been biting her teeth so hard her jaw hurt as she explained what had brought her to the conclave as they shot arrows into the masses of hell swarming towards Haven's defenders. Her friend, technically also her charge as a bodyguard. He'd been permitted to go meet with the Divine but leaving Tavaiya behind was a sign of his respect.

And now he was gone.

Varric had nodded and started to count the ones they could kill with as a score. Distract with a challenge. She'd leapt on it. 

Because Elan was no more. Elan the only child of Lord Seuin. The boy who had been like a brother to her, who had been a secret apostate and trained by her own mother out in a distant old manor in the Ferelden wilds when they were young, later traveling all over with her at his side. Elan who had been the entire reason Tavaiya was able to read and write so well, why she had been trained by the best and worst sorts depending on the needed skill.

Elan who hadn't cared that her features were sharper, her ears pointed and her frame slight anymore than she had cared that his were rounded and he was a bit on the portly side with a love for women with too much makeup and bountiful curves. That they had thought of each other as cousins or step siblings of a sort because Tavaiya's mother was Lord Seuin's mistress and how weird was it to know their parents did that? That Tavaiya's mother had been a weak apostate, a Dalish elf who had left because the clan already had a keeper and a first but was given a rough training. The same woman who had fallen in love with the humble elf tailor who traveled from city to city to sell his skills to the nobles. Who died in the alienage of Denerim when Tavaiya was so small she could barely recall his lessons on mending and her first stitchery samplers? 

Elan had been her mother's student, a genius move that ensured her foray into being the amusement in a human lord's bed to put food on the table had become an agreement that saw Tavaiya and her mother shipped off and little more of note to the human nobility than 'Lord Seiun's little elvish mistress' and her a footnote. That Elan had shown up and been secretly trained later. A scowling scamp prone to a tantrum who had fought with Tavaiya, only a year his senior at seven, in the mud.

They'd come in trailing brackish water and grime and both with beaming smiles. The bruises were found later in the baths but it didn't matter. 

Elan had been there for her whole life. They were like siblings but not, so they called each other cousin.

And he was gone.

“You all right there?” Varric's voice was soft. He knew loss. 

“Cousin.” She said softly and scrubbed her hand through her loose hair. The braid not doing such a good job. Light blue eyes met Varric's and he just nodded.

“Take your time.”

Tavaiya leaned against a rotting wall and sighed heavily. Elan was gone.

Fortunately when the madness descended Leliana had been there, and through Elan's less than savory friends, a few who had trained her, Leliana knew of her. She'd done a few jobs for her agents when they needed a city elf who could survive in the wilds here and there too. One who didn't bristle at the shems and could speak a few languages. Who knew how to blend. Elan had ensured she knew to speak Orleisian after all. She wasn't exactly unknown to the former bard and if one of Tavaiya's tutors in picking locks as a teen had also ensured her embroidery talents were exceptional as a way of building finger dexterity, well it only served her well playing 'invisible' in the Orleisian saloon's working on her 'masters' garments while he entertained.

So for now, she'd just gone to Leliana. Sharp eyes met sharp pain and Leliana had shoved a band at her, fabric to wear on her arm that marked her as one of her forces for now and asked her to help clear and scout. 

An aimless rogue was a dangerous one, and the bard knew how close Elan had been to her. Ironically, Elan had been smitten with the dangerous and older sister Nightingale so it wasn't like she hadn't been 'loaned' out before. Hell if not for Leliana, Elan would have likely never given two bits about Orlais. Certainly wouldn't have bought a house there and made Tavaiya learn the language to teach it then to him. 

Leliana knew her skills. Even if she didn't know about her other sense. She didn't talk about that after all. But Elan had been a mage and her ability to fight beside a mage was one of her best advantages because she could sense them. Without Elan's magic flickering around her heart like the beat of a butterflies wings, she felt bereft. There had always been her mother's magic, and then after she died there had been Elan's. Now she had neither.

Killing things was the only solution. For now.

()()()()()

 

She went with the men up the mountain pass as their scout. A brief wave of three fingers from brow sweeping outward to Varric as she passed, his returning the same as he spoke with someone, a group of his own to head out to one of the rifts further from the makeshift prison. She'd heard rumors of someone who had actually fallen out of those blasted things but paid it no mind. Tavaiya hadn't been able to sleep properly for near three days with the constant drumming of the breach and rifts in her senses and at this point she was mentally exhausted. 

She wasn't named after the Jackal for nothing though. When she was tired, she got cagey, snappish. Her main instructor had dubbed her Jackal for the likely twisted tale that a Jackal when it went mad was frightening enough all the creatures stepped aside. When Tavaiya was tired and her hackles were up, you did not wish to be the one she was against.

“Bloody knife ear..” Someone snarled at her back. It just made her lips twitch. 

“Knife ear has knives. Dolt.” One of the other soldier's replied. Andrew if she recalled his name. They'd shared a bowl and spoon -short supply- to eat the mornings meal. Passing it without washing it and he'd been just as relieved to have something in his belly as she was, so they didn't care that as one chewed they handed it to the next. You never knew when you'd have time to eat with these things spewing out monsters.

Quickest way to spot someone who had seen a lot of combat was the raunchy jokes, and the way they didn't care about much as long as they got the basics handled.

“Least the view's not bad.” Another said and that one made Tavaiya snort, even as she changed from the obvious path. 

“Unless you want to go down a wrong tunnel look more at where you're putting your feet than my ass.” Not that it was a surprise. All humans seemed to think elves were there for their pleasure or sufferance as the case may be and the twist from insult to sex object was a very common phrasing. 

It wasn't that long until the score of men with her had to do just as she'd suggested though. She had found a lesser used tunnel to take, one that offered more places to hide. Which since she was there to scout ahead was only a bonus for the soldiers. They found plenty of things laying in wait, but she was able to play off her 'early warning system' as just sheer luck as she darted ahead in the shadows. 

Really. That it had been all rift spawn was a stroke of luck. She didn't exactly get tingles to warn her of spiders!

()()()()()()

Luck as always, dropped out at the worst times. They were over run. Two men dead, only six left, over half the count down. Four were badly injured to the point they'd need magic or potions, Tavaiya herself could just tell her ribs were out of place which hurt like nothing she could explain but she could still move. Her eyes watered and her breathing was shallow but she could twist and strike still. Her hackles were up and the Jackal was mad. Snarling she lunged, darted, twisted and back stabbed with a viciousness that was closer to being feral. It was akin to being berserk, this reckless method she could use but with her extra senses she had no reason to hold back when her enemies leaked out mana. 

Blood in her mouth from where she'd slammed into a wall and bit herself and dripping into her eyes, her ears ringing Tavaiya surrendered to that other sense and let it direct and move her with instincts hard won from training with her mother and Elan. They were dead, long dead mother and newly dead sibling-friend but in her movements and battles right now they lived, and were immortal for it. 

A long slow whistle came then as she turned, still snarling, crouched protectively over the jerk who had been staring at her ass earlier from where she'd just finished off a shade as she felt a crackle and the dimmed sound of drums...

But it was not a demon. Power, but it was from a mage as the staff announced even if the robes had not and slowly she stood. Varric smirked at her, lowering Bianca.

“Nice job, Secrets.”

“Varric. Seeker.” She inclined her head, eyes flickering over the other two elves. She didn't dismiss them but she noted them and then ignored for they were with two she knew and one was technically her superior, instead her eyes locking with the kohl rimmed ones of the Seeker. The right hand. “We've incurred losses, if you have any healing items though all of us should be ready to fight.”

“You are injured?” Cassandra asked archly, knowingly, for they had met a few times and Leliana doubtlessly complained about her in private; and Tavaiya grinned ignoring that blood was in her mouth and likely made her rather feral and horrific looking. She knew her pupils were blown from the adrenaline and her hair coming free of it's braid, hood lost somewhere to grasping claws and blood that trickled from the side of her mouth to her neck. Ichor was drying on her brow and across her eyes where she'd rubbed at it in the midst of battle, shades and lessor demons these things may be but they still left gore behind. It was just another layer caking on her skin and armor from the past few days and she wasn't even sure you could see the coloring of her flesh anymore.

“Displaced a few ribs, I'll be mottled many colors come morning but I am still effective.” Tavaiya slipped a hand into her pouch and downed a potion to numb the worst of it and show she wasn't faking that much. She always kept one potion for herself, and had a few hidden on her for worst case scenario but she wouldn't admit to those ones. Or a few of the others she had. 

She was a Rogue not a chantry sister after all.

“Fall in.” Cassandra barked and without giving an explanation, Tavaiya just lifted a brow with a sly smirk in her blatant disobedience even as the soldier's milled around the Seeker. There was a heartbeat, she could hear it as the unknown mage was healing someone and the elf before her blinked a few times at her, his markings a rich green hue. There was a ..humm to him. So he had magic too..yes there was a worn and pathetic staff attached to his back but from his lack of motion he clearly was no healer. After a few moments of Tavaiya standing there with weapons out Cassandra realized her mistake and sighed. “Take point, if you would..”

“Seeker.” She agreed and inclined her head before turning and moving ahead to scout the way. Really. Fall in. Wasn't like anyone had suddenly died and made her..Divine..er...

Eh.

Whatever.

Not like she believed in the Maker.  
()()()()()

She left the group to their talks of red Lyrium and madness and fade visions as she went about the cavern with it's eerie red lighting that made her feel like she'd swallowed scorpions that were trying to claw and sting her from the inside. She was seeking vantage points, locations. Luckily her bow had been replaced as she'd found one amongst one of the dead soldier's while everyone else was freaking out about the little green light and sound show. It didn't really have much of a different cadence to the overwhelming drum of the breach so she ignored it to find supplies while everyone was distracted. 

It was a decent bow. Shorter than her preference with a heavier draw that would be a bitch to work with but would punch through flesh just as well. Nor was she skimping on stealing quivers and every arrow she could find. She finally just tied a cord around a number of them and kept looking. Because the breach had an overwhelming sound but there was something else..discordant.

Which meant a demon. A big one. Bigger than the others so far and for that? Tavaiya wanted arrows. 

It turned out to be a good move as was having found locations to be. She dropped piles of arrows on ledges to dodge to, dropping the bow, leaping down for a good strike and then back out of range to fire an arrow or two. Constant little harassment that kept the Pride demon off his balance and unable to focus properly on the rest. She wasn't doing much damage but she kept it from getting a good hit on the soldiers or the mages.

Trying to dodge Cassandra's blows though was a whole new lesson in awareness, one that made Tavaiya ever so grateful for her other sense because the Dalish boy was flinging electricity and fire the way drunken men threw coin at a whore after several months at sea. Everywhere and hoping he got lucky. By contrast the steady and meticulous attacks of the other mage were at least easier to handle, though once or twice he caught her by surprise and Tavaiya had to force herself not to use some of her better skills she'd figured out from her weird mana sensing and twisting..

At one point though when she wrenched her ankle badly and had no time to wrap it she grit her teeth and twisted one of her blades..leather wrapped hilt specially for a reason, catching the edge of an attack of electricity and moving her wrist constantly to keep it dancing between her blades as she plunged it deep into the foul smelling pride demon making it howl.

She couldn't leap away as well anymore and had to let go of her blades, wrenching one of the long knives free of it's sheath at her thigh as she skidded back into the shadows. Unseen she grabbed inside her jerkin for a potion and popped the cork, downing it swiftly. She felt the muting of her senses ever so subtly but it was enough, the rush of healing potion and stamina enhancement coursing through her unique brew as it adapted to her system.

Back in she went.

At some point someone actually killed the dang thing. Finishing blows weren't usually something she got. Oh sure, a coup de grace here and there but she wasn't an assassin as much as a rogue and a mischief maker. She let the hero's take the spot light and just settled on the nearest stone as everyone else celebrated. 

Fingers dug into her scalp to relieve her post adrenaline and electrocution headache as she groaned, feeling the bruises all over.

“What was your final count, Secrets?” Varric asked cheerfully as he flopped beside her making her smirk.

“I can be the better woman and yield to Bianca's greatness.”

The rolling laughter of the dwarf eased her heart a little. She was one of the last to leave, her eyes sweeping the grounds long after the dismissive snorts of others about rogues picking the dead clean. 

In the end though, she not only reclaimed her missing blades which seemed to have a strange ...sheen to the metal now that it had been electrified and coated in pride demon innards..but she found what she'd really been looking for.

A hunk of focus crystal. A beautiful bit of green Onyx once that she bundled up in her blue silk scarf she'd tucked below her jerkin four days before. It still hummed of butterflies, distantly and deep below the new crescendo that overwhelmed it. From Elan's staff this stone was all that remained. It was all she'd found that was definitely his but the 'tone' was very different now. She'd look into it later. 

“Found something?” Came Leliana's voice, because of course she'd shown up.

“Elan's focus.” She replied, there was no reason to hide. Not this. Her pale eyes met with Leliana's own and the former bard nodded. 

It was funny how people thought rogue's all operated in such secrecy. There was a clean honesty in the deepest of shadows, they only obscured what they needed. Hiding in plain sight because everyone expected the great deceptions at all times they never saw the difference. Though they did speak in code, fair enough.

“I would like you to settle in with the scouts.” Leliana said instead, brushing over the matter of the crystal. She was offering work and shelter both, for while a rogue could go out and find work with all that was happening it would not be easy.

“I'm not one to enjoy bugs climbing in my smalls.” She replied easily as she fell in step with Leliana. Leliana who knew loss, Leliana whom was the nightingale with silver talons and a beak that dripped honey acid. 

Leliana had tried to pull her in fully for years but she wouldn't leave Elan. And now..now the nightingale was singing to try and call the Jackal in.

“I was thinking silks and songs.” Leliana chuckled, a glimpse at the beautiful woman that was within but though she was enthralling and gorgeous and likely would have even bedded Tavaiya if she thought it best- or just enjoyable, as Leliana was a known beautiful woman who had loved both sides of the coins and would consent to moments with her own scouts and spies if they could keep from their hearts entangling.for Leliana's heart would always remain with the Warden Commander she'd traveled with in the days of the Blight- it had never been something that pulled at Tavaiya. So Leliana seemed to feel at ease showing glimpses of the playful flirt she had once been for it was safe and so little in the world was safe.

“Mmm..jewels upon the eyes and lace upon skin? I'm not sure I wish to venture back.” Orlais was not something she wished to visit. Not right then. Not the Game and the Shadows as she knew it. 

“You bathe in wine without being colored.” Leliana asserted, her roiling gait along her own ever so silent and swift as they moved.

'You aren't tempted by sex but can tempt others safely' is what she meant. Tavaiya was one of the strange ones who was entirely comfortable in her sensuality, her sexuality, and had never indulged in more than kisses. Kisses she was swiftly bored by unless heavily inebriated and even then..so she could flirt and caress just shy of indecently, tease and never risk being too far under the spell of another. She'd used elixirs and words, even been coached by some of Leliana's favored to know how to suggest and imply things she had no knowledge of. The right concoction and alcohol and a little misdirection and someone would think they had spent a night of wanton delights. That they did not remember only made them less apt to call her on their supposed 'incredible skills'.

Those had hardly been things she enjoyed though. 

“...Not yet.” She yielded. She had no direction, her heart was in mourning but Leliana knew how to handle that, Leliana was her mentor in many ways even if until recently only through letters and whom she had arranged to go to teach Tavaiya. She did not wish to be one of the Nightingale's creatures though. Not fully. 

“Well, I don't suppose you'd help the alchemist?” Leliana chuckled and Tavaiya glanced over with a smile.

“Plants? What is it you want he won't make?”

“Shoe polish.” Leliana confided with a smirk and Tavaiya rolled her eyes.

“I think I can figure something out.”

Elan was gone, and Leliana would give her a direction but just then..Tavaiya was willing to lick her wounds and explore. She'd take on work as she desired and Leliana would accept that because a willing rogue was always the best sort.

“So what's with the Dalish guy anyways?” Tavaiya finally asked and was treated to seeing Leliana grumble. 

“I think a curse Zevran made actually worked..he fell out of the breach, that mark on his hand is closing the rifts and ...” She paused, her voice soft with faith. “I think he was sent by Andraste.” Leliana was not shy about her faith and Tavaiya hummed. They'd actually had some fantastic discussions, both comfortable with absolute faith and none on the spectrum and willing to have civil discourse. 

“Well..you'll find a way to make it work.” She agreed simply. The religious ones always did.

“One of these days..”

()()()()()()()

Life at Haven settled fast as things always did. She was busy slicing herbs for the alchemist at his table, hair pulled back in three separate braids that were than twisted into a knot at the back of her neck to keep it out of her way. There were a lot of valuable plants and herbs in the area but you had to be willing to scour the place for them and go out of the way. Also, a fair number had 'copy cats' that were less potent but could be used if willing to adjust the preparations. Most people would only consume the well known ones, usually having elfroot. 

There was one she made though using a specific lichen and willow bark with the stalks rather than the leaves of elfroot that was plenty effective if only for minor wounds and delaying pain so when making the common healing draughts she'd make her own as to use the fresh discarded parts. The alchemist didn't pay her, since she was then making her own items and using his equipment and vials but it worked out for them both. She'd already made a few different shoe polishes for Leliana as well as a very potent toxin that Tavaiya and most of Leliana's trusted liked to coat weapons with but those she made on days the alchemist was off ranting at Roderick. 

Today he was just enjoying a leisurely lunch at the tavern and so it was stamina and health items she was working on when she felt a soft humm at her senses, making Tavaiya glance at the door as the 'Herald' came through, the other mage she remembered. He was apparently discussing with himself where the elfroot had been and clearly meant to make something. 

“Ah..” He blinked and then grinned, charming, boyish, eyes set off well inside the green pattern of Mythal's branches on his face beneath the russet hues of his hair falling in charming curls. “Hello! Are you making potions! I mean, clearly you are just..” He started to ramble adorably and it made Tavaiya's lips twitch.

He could only be maybe a handful of years younger than she was and yet he rambled?

 

“Almost done.”

“Oh! I don't want to rush you, not at all.” He tried to assure her and she just chuckled, setting the last of her items to be covered by a cloth. 

“It still needs to cool. Aside from that, I'll bottle it later tonight.” She stretched as she stood from the uncomfortable position over the table and gestured him over. “All yours, Herald.”

“Tam.”

She paused and lifted a brow. It was a very common name. Moreso because there had apparently been rumors of a Dalish named Tamlen who had helped draw alert to the blight that had started in Ferelden. Still it had been less common when he was born, and she shrugged. Her mother had once confided in her that the Dalish liked to reuse common names and since there was rarely a large group in a clan it didn't matter if each had someone in the recent generations by the same name. There had been several Elana's like her mother in that generation alone.

“Tam then. Have at it.”

“What's yours?”

“What I own.” She said with a grin at his clumsy question, just to see him flustered. It worked as the pink of his cheeks clashed with the green markings and he waved a hand, sending the elfroot bag swaying. 

“No I mean..your name, please?”

“Tavaiya.”

“It's lovely I mean you're I...I'm shutting up now.”

She couldn’t help but laugh, because he was clearly one of those elves that wore his heart on his sleeve and she didn't miss the looks he kept sending her ears. Probably feeling lost in a sea of humans and despite that she was bare of facial marks was desperate for community. Elves in the Alienage's had been the same. There'd been numerous nights she'd curled up in the same bed with four or five other girls just so they'd not feel alone, and that was recent. Space was a premium and whole families would sometimes share a bed with a stranger for warmth on the coldest of evenings. Other 'relations' were timed for when people would be out and even the children knew some times you went to someone elses house for dinner so your parents had their time together. She'd a handful of memories of her mother and father arranging such visits with their neighbors and the fact that noises of coupling through the walls were just as much a fact of life as emptying chamberpots. But she'd heard the Dalish were a bit more stringent, selective. Perhaps it was like how seriously many elders took arranging marriage between their own offspring. Elan and his support had always meant she didn't need to worry about that, her mother's cunning had ensured her child's safety.

“You're fine. Not used to all the tall ones?” She said jokingly, herself on the tall side for an elf especially, she had gotten a few insults of being 'mix blooded' despite her ears because normally elfin women were not closer to the height of a human. Her hip bumped into the sturdy alchemy table as she talked, casual, adjusting her body so the language would declare her at ease. It was a front of course but she figured the blustering dalish boy would appreciate it compared to the predatory stillness she usually had.

“No!” He groaned. “I was just..I was supposed to go back to my clan right after but then I got this stupid thing on my hand and they're calling me Herald and ..I don't even believe in this Maker or the Andraste I mean..oh Creators...”

Her lips twitched. She was used to this to be honest, she still spent time in the alienage's as often inns and houses wouldn't let her stay with Elan over night so she had a peculiar half life. A great deal of the elves had reacted like this when they started being exposed to the sheer idiocy of noble largesse.

“Finish up and I'll treat you to a pint at the tavern later. After supper?”

His eyes went to her and his jaw was down before he went entirely pink and nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”

Tavaiya just nodded again and patted his shoulder as she walked out chuckling. Poor kid. Probably thought she was hitting on him.  
()()()()()()

It turned out Tam couldn't hold his liquor.

Highly entertained as he started singing in what even she could tell was horridly inaccurate and badly accented ancient elven; Tavaiya helped him to his room with Varric but then left the dwarf to actually manhandle the boy into bed. 

“Secrets..” Varric glared at her and she just winked. 

“I have no interest in seeing a boy's attempts to paw at me Varric. You at least should be safe. Bianca will guard your virtue.” With a last laugh she slipped into shadows and went to bottle up her forgotten potions. The alchemist was spending the night elsewhere, sent for the supplies he demanded at a nearby town with a full escort as they needed supplies in general..and so she hadn't expected to see anyone else. 

Honey wine and hoarfrost met her as she opened the door. It made her blink like an idiot for a moment even as her gaze swept over the rough garments that did little to hide lithe muscles below. Steel eyes locked with her own and she stilled.

It was just a moment but neither looked away. 

There was a predator hiding as prey here.

Tavaiya knew it as she knew anything about herself. The honey wine was thick and potent upon her tongue, the hoarfrost in her mind's eye glittering in multiple fractals of impossible complexity that were as delicate as could be, fading upon touch or thought as to hide in plain sight. Indeed without her senses, it was just the flash of strength in his gaze and that he met her eyes and locked.

Prey would look away. A weaker predator would look away.

Neither of them was blinking.

Her lips curved, she didn't glance away from the silver to examine him but trusted her initial impression of muscles below rough garb and the memory of that faint drumming sound of his power. Mage. “You're the one who healed the soldiers.” She offered instead, distraction from the fact she 'knew' him. Let him think it was that she remembered rather than she was subconsciously rolling the taste of his power along her palate and finding it much to her taste.

Even if she preferred red wine with spices and honey...

“Indeed.” He was calm, polite, clipped as he slightly inclined his head. Meant to imitate a near bow but it lowered his brow not his gaze. Instead he was more dangerous. A wolf lowered it's head and locked it's eyes before it would strike.

The hoarfrost curled and coiled, clinging to his skin unseen but though it coated the room so subtly it should not be something she could feel or sense. Unless she was a mage, perhaps.  
The silence was heavy, expectant. This was a man used to using both his words and the lack of them as a weapon. On someone like Tam, or Varric, it would work. They'd spill everything for various reasons. Most people would.

Tavaiya was a rogue who did not belong in any way or to any world and she found silence often her only companion. Her secrets slumbered in it and she honored it. Instead she gave him a smile, stepped closer without breaking her locked gaze. They were blinking at points, but it was only to wet the eyes, neither was yielding. She stepped closer and he finally moved a bit, allowing her to get to the table.

In blatant denial of the challenge she'd issued keeping his gaze she turned her back, neck still bared from her knot of hair and checked the potion had set properly before she began to decant it. His gaze raked down her spine, seeking a tension in her shoulders he would not find. It was a heavy thing, his regard, but her other sense read his hoarfrost as watchful not aggressive. More curious than corrosive. The taste of honey wine was enthralling and she decided she liked his attention, in direct counter to what one would expect from a rogue.

But the Jackal was said to be half mad anyways. 

She watched the last few drops of potion fall into her vials before she wiped it clean with a cloth she brought for that purpose, even the trace of it would be useful to bind a poultice if needed in a pinch and tucked back away in her pouch. That done and her vials gathered she went to the door, glancing back over her shoulder, still mostly facing away and a teasing smile pulled on her lips as she saw he had not moved, his eyes still locked on her.

“Have a good night, healer.” She felt the spike in his hoarfrost, startled, even as she closed the door. It was what she knew him as after all.


	2. Perspectives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look at how a few characters view Tavaiya

AN: Different character takes. If you have any you want in particular let me know. I don't mind doing 'chapters' and scenes from different character angles at times but most of these are just for me to get a feel for how people view Tavaiya.  
()()()()()

Tam didn't remember much about the days he spent in a cell besides Pain. 

The days after he closed his first rifts were filled with shattered dreams and confusion. 

The day he walked in after gathering elfroot and saw the slim form curved over the alchemist's table, only heels and toes bared, even her hands in gloves, and a flash of skin from her throat and face, delicate ears visible. His first reaction had just been relief. Because until then only Solas had also been an elf. There were so many humans, it was so loud, they were so different and calling to him as if he was some chosen one from a deity he held no pact with.

Herald of Andraste they called him.

If he would have been called Herald to anything why not to Mythal? Whose marks he bore upon his flesh with pride?

Then she'd looked up at him and he remembered that gaze. The pale blue with the pupil lined in bright yellow. Wolf eyes, he remembered someone calling them once. Not a pleasant saying.

Those eyes had been wild, teeth stained in blood and snarling when first he'd seen her, crouched defensively over a soldier in the ruins of the conclave. He remembered watching her dart in and out of battle, not even wary of the spells he flung as so many were. She held no hesitation in diving after the streams of fire or the arcs of lightning he had sent, only moved as if they were another blade to account for in the mayhem. 

Secrets, Varric called her. Tam thought Feral may have been a better fit.

But then she'd teased, cajoled him. She'd offered to share a drink and it had startled him because this flat ear was so welcoming and he needed it but he didn't want..did these barely elves like her even know enough to know how forward she sounded?

Still he needed to be around one of the people so he agreed. He'd been nervous when approaching the tavern after choking down some truly awful stew and dark bread. The ale was awful, reminding him of when a clan mate had tried to make their own brew from berries and instead given everyone a bad case of stomach upset but he could relax.

Because at his side was a strange flat ear who went still if he wasn't watching her, who smirked and sneered and jested with Varric as though they were from the same clan. They spoke sometimes with their fingers and glances in a way that showed some things were perhaps, from being rogues, as he could with Solas. But though she was a flat ear, probably knew nothing of their people? He could teach her.

Maybe all this would be worth it if he could teach her, whereas the few times he'd attempted to with Solas he'd gotten haughty scoffs. Maybe Tavaiya would be good for clan Lavellan and would go back and then he'd have something real and important to him and the people to show for all this insanity.

Because it was the roll of a Keeper's First to help educate and Tavaiya didn't seem to mind the wild as he had always heard the flat ears did.

Though, first? First he had to stop having his head pound from too much ale.  
()()()()()()()

Varric knew people. He got them. He could look at them and have a feel of where in the stories he weaved they'd fit. After a while he'd toss out some nicknames and how they reacted to those told him all he needed to know about them further. If he needed anything more he just had to see them fight, because how a person fought told a lot.

Secrets though? Secrets had been obvious. The woman moved like Hawke. All pride and yet humility and snarky playfulness and Varric loved that. But unlike Hawke, Secrets fought in a way that chilled him. Against those monsters? He didn't think there was a warrior or rogue out there that was able to hunt the things like how she did. If he'd believed in such things he would have said she had a weird Seer ability. She leapt through shadows going in and out of stealth like any well trained rogue. She used elixirs and poisons and bottles of strange gasses like those who had learned the hard way to fight for every advantage did. 

But she just seemed to know. There was a demon? There she was. It struck and she dodged, it came from behind and she wasn't there. One snuck up on him? She was at his back and driving it off while he loaded a shot. It had been impossible.

And yet when it was over she'd looked at him and smiled with the adrenaline before her gaze was pulled to the breach casting a green light over them all and he Saw. Loss.

It reminded him of the slamming doors of an ancient thaig as his brother walked away. Of putting his brother down in all his madness. Of the explosion of the Kirkwall chantry and Anders slumped in a pool of blood. It was the loss of baby Hawke to the Grey Warden's, of beautiful Leandra who fussed over him, of the look on Daisy's face when her dreams of the mirror she'd poured her very blood and soul into fell into fragments at the cost of her entire clan.

Tavaiya mentioned her 'cousin.' Said just enough. Once again he thought of Hawke. Of the one who he called family in his heart and how he would feel if Hawke was lost..

That was what was in her eyes.

So he called her Secrets and she didn't argue, because in calling her Secrets people wouldn't dig. It wasn't much but it was a thin sheet pulled over the gaping hole to help hide it. In plain sight.  
()()()()()()()()  
Leliana had been many things to many people. Right now she was what she needed to be, she was the sword in the night, for the Divine whom she loved. For the Maker whom she revered. And some times you could not choose the tools who came into your grasp but had to do what you could.

Years ago before the Blight, when she was still a lay sister in Lothering one of her agents told her a story of how they had been helped by an interesting little urchin some time back. They'd had too much at a pub, been stolen from. They'd been on the lookout for a cut purse not a vial snatcher. The next day some noble was dead and a little urchin tracked them down handing back the half empty vial.

“It worked. Thank you. If I help you get in somewhere can I live?” Had been what her agent reported the little brat had said. They'd been curious. In the tale it explained the child was around ten, not malnourished but apparently a bit off. The child had said that the noble liked 'little ones' and had been looking at her friend in a bad way. So she'd slipped it into his tea that he was known for taking with a heavy dose of brandy and pretended to be a servant. “No one looks at little elves. We're less interesting than the dogs.” She'd explained. Bright at that age. 

The agent had let her live. Looked into her. Found she wasn't just an impoverished nothing but the child of a lesser lord's mistress and friend to the same lord's heir. Apparently the children didn't care whom they were playing with had pointed ears or not they all played 'the Hero of River Dane' together with sticks and when the noble brats were forced to socialize she'd go help out with the other elves. Because it was expected.

Indeed the dead noble did have a taste for young elves and her urge to protect was stronger than her urge to keep safe. Not that she really had a concept of death so young of course, Leilana knew it took far more damaging exposure than that. But it was promising. Skills for the right reason. For protection, not gain. The crows would have snatched her up but Nightingale had been through hell and walked it again during the Blight at the side of the brightest star. She remembered the Warden-Commander back when she was just a circle mage. One who craved stories of far off lands and things she'd only read about. One who had sat beside Leliana and bent their heads together with soft smiles and touches of their hands. One whom Leliana had kissed but never taught their bodies to sing. It had seemed..almost less than to mingle flesh. 

One soul in two bodies. It was..it wasn't passion and kisses and soft beds it was a shoulder to lean into, a hand in her own when needed. It was healing spells as the softness of a Spirit healer was a wonder all in it's own..

It had reaffirmed Leliana's thoughts on the Maker and Andraste. Because it was how Leliana felt. As if she was Andraste to Amell's Maker. What they had was holy, of the soul and heart not the flesh. With all the nightmares Leliana had been through such a union was truly a wonder. And no less powerful. 

Sometimes she still sought out pleasure, but Amell had tried to explain that an early magical accident and an over eager to smite Templar had damaged her nerves in some ways..so there had never been any grudge if Leliana needed to find an outlet. Or merely wanted to. Indeed it took the stress away as Amell had found that same pleasure in her magic and even liked to tease her about her lovers.

Leliana and Amell were different.

It was perfect for them.

But it had been Amell who had shown her that one could be protective and nurture that aspect into something that would shake Thedas and create legends so when she remembered of this innocent little killer, who did it to protect a friend? And then sought out the same spy she'd stolen the sleeping draught -clever child over dosing on something no one would say wasn't the noble's own fault if he was taking it should it be found- to confess and offer help? They of course weren't so young anymore but any edge she could send would only assist the teen nearly twenty year old.

The Nightingale had sent trainers. Swiftly. Ones that under pretense trained the lords son in battle and strategy and pretended to merely tolerate the girl as they taught her what they could. She'd gotten reports of the frankly already stupendous skills the girl had gone and found help for on her own. But this time they were now teaching her not just lock picks and traps, fighting with knife and bow and street brawling but skills no one in Ferelden could teach her.

Leliana had honestly felt bad about sending Zevran a message to help her, and it had been to her surprise that Zevran knew of her. He'd laughed as he showed up, surprising her as ever, and teased.

“Oh yes, I know of the little Jackal. We crows do like to flee our gilded cage and she is a shiny one, caught the eye of a former Master she did. He went and got himself killed but not before she learned much and he did boast to me he'd found a different sort of scavenger that would never wear feathers.” Zevran had leered at her then. “Neither crow wings nor nightingale I suspect...”

When Leliana had finally met “Jackal” she'd been a bit let down. Really from all the reports she'd half expected someone like Amell, a gorgeous woman. One who crackled with Charisma and drew the eyes.

While her face was appealing and she'd had life as a semi noble to keep her from being worn away too early, Beautiful was not what she'd have called Tavaiya.

Until the shadows were just right. And then she had understood.

The wilds rested in her breast, her hair was a forgettable light brown until the lighting hit and then it was shades of bronze and tarnished gold. Her eyes were just blue until her pupils contracted and the yellow around them was revealed. Her skin was pale but not like a fair ladies, her lips were full but only nude in color. Her jaw was strong and her cheekbones high but her lashes were blonde so your eyes didn't dwell on hers and her eyebrows winged leaving her general impression one of being attractive, perhaps, but not devastating. 

But that was the wilderness in her. She was unfinished. As if the Maker had decided on going further but she'd been ready and didn't feel she needed the fetter of beauty and stepped away. 

Leliana had pulled her into Orlais with a few coy smiles and touches to Elan, whom the girl was loyal to as if they shared blood rather than upbringing. From Elan she got more of the ladies work crashed into the woman, it was there she saw her features painted and finished and the end result?

That was when Leliana realized this was one she wanted under her wing. This was one she wanted to pass her song to. It was a pity that the shadowy roles Tavaiya ran to were not that of a bard because when her features were finished in Orleisian ways? When the paints were applied and perfection smoothed over the canvas of her face Tavaiya became enthralling. Despite the curve of her eyes and ears when brought to the standards of beauty Leliana could not help but wish to subject her to, Tavaiya could have become the jewel in Antiva that Leliana needed. Or Orlais. She could have even sent her to Tevinter and had perhaps even an Archon in the nightingale's silver beak.

But Tavaiya would waste no time in wiping off the paint and slipping free of the gowns, she only took care with the shoes knowing Leliana's own love for them. 

And so now instead she cajoled and offered scraps to the Jackal to keep her in haven. Because the Jackal was no longer following a lord she saw as a sibling-friend, and was untethered and Leliana wanted her for her network. But how did one properly leash a Jackal?  
()()()()()()()()  
Cassandra's own interactions with Tavaiya were generally more favorable than she had with Varric, but only just. 

Tavaiya was rebellion and secrets in shadows. She would listen as long as she wanted, and ignore when she didn't. She'd heard Leliana call her Jackal but in truth it brought to mind to Cassandra, a cat. A very cranky alley cat that was as apt to piss on your boot as purr at your touch. 

However she was brave. Despite the huge imbalance in their skills every morning when Cassandra went to train before the recruits, Tavaiya would approach. They'd spar hand to hand, then move to practicing with one or the other without a weapon, or both down a weapon and all twists in between. Tavaiya believed in practicing for the worst, something that Cassandra supported entirely. And it was good to practice against someone tricky and fleet of foot. One who made every strike Cassandra could land need to be exact or else it wouldn't work. They did use blunted weapons, and yet no matter how much the Seeker battered the Rogue she came back each time. 

Every hit made her hit harder, every injury made her more determined. It was a fire, a blaze, a sort of battle madness that was controlled and Cassandra reveled in having someone fight her. Not her title, not her rank, but just two women doing their damndest to prepare.

Cassandra had lost Justina to the conclave and Tavaiya had told her of Elan.

In Loss, in Bruises, In Bettering themselves. They were kindred.

And it helped that Tavaiya was quite willing to share stories of romantic gossip to tide over Cassandra, even if it was from courts she'd no familiarity with and long outdated.  
()()()()()()()

Solas had expected a headache when he realized the poor soul bearing his Anchor was a Dalish elf. He had become resigned to the self righteous speeches and inaccurate comments sure to come. He'd even prepared himself to become a sort of mentor because the brat's grasp of magic was utterly appalling and he simply couldn't tolerate it to stay that way.

He hadn't expected the rogue.

His first glimpse of her had been, along with Tam, an utterly displeasing one. She'd seemed like the animal rather than the elegance The People had once been. But then she'd straightened, her eyes had passed over him and it was strange being looked at, acknowledged, categorized, and then ignored as she turned to her superior.

He hadn't experienced that..in a long time. Disdain yes, but she had seemed to not dismiss him but only decide that it wasn't important right then.

Truly she'd been correct, the Breach had been the highest priority and the mere fact so many of them had survived was a testament to her ability to scout ahead. He had been amused as well by her cheeky refusal to simply obey a poorly thought out command by the Seeker, as she waited with all the smirk of a parent waiting for the child to catch on to which hand behind the back held the treat.

Varric called her Secrets, but she'd given no name nor asked for their own. 

While he was trying to figure out what had happened with his orb, with the chaos that there had been a fade memory of he was distantly aware of her flittering about. It had brought on a shade of revulsion, only proving how far she was removed from his own people that she didn't even care about what was happening.

When she all but flew and fired arrows from various caches she had made around the cavern as they fought the Pride demon and all it summoned, he had to admit it had been a bit of brilliance on her part. That is, if she had been aware they would be attacked. It made him watch her a little more.

Graceful was a poor choice of words to describe her then. She moved in ways that defied her mortality and form. She all but danced as they directed spells at their targets, and though he said nothing Solas most certainly noticed how she managed to catch and utilize a part of his lightning spell. Fearlessly. Comfortably. As if she was so familiar with magic that it was like grasping a weapon from the belt of a trusted friend. For just a second he thought he felt mana from her.

It was of course, a side effect of the battle. There was much going on after all and he dismissed it. Nor did he see her again save in passing, while attempting to study. Until he went to make use of the Alchemist's notes while he was gone and she walked in.

He'd glanced up irritated at being disturbed when he had specifically planned for time to experiment. 

She'd looked at him as if she could see all the way through him and his focus had snapped fully to her.

Solas had been amazed when she met his gaze and did not look away. Indeed, she had boldly approached and then despite the confrontation of their locked stare, had entirely turned her back to him.

I know you won't act. It had all but been spoken. Like a rabbit scampering across a wolf's paw when it was fed and lazy. The back of her neck was visible, but no stress ran across her back or shoulders. Her movements were methodical, eased.

Then she'd glanced back, only partly, just enough of a curve of her neck as she went out the door that he could see the eye nearest him, the form of her cheek, the lazy curve of her lips in a smirk.

Good night, healer.

That was no rabbit. He felt surprise as with soft words and a smirk she'd all but bared her fangs, playfully, before the predator closed the door behind her.

Secrets indeed.  
()()()()()


	3. Chapter 3

Haven is cold in the snow. The bright sun reflecting off the ice crystals and sending multiple points of light back up at the greenery around them. Before the worst of the daylight, after her spars with Cassandra, Tavaiya often finds herself utilizing the makeshift archery range. Eager to be near the company of another elf, Tam has begun to use it for his own practice shots sending smaller fireballs to impact a pole. Once there was a battered training dummy there, now it's just blackened metal. Still, practicing aim is always important even if the sight of him using magic has many in the camp giving them a wide berth. The emerald gleam from his left hand keeps him safe from any real malice.

 

“You can come with us.” Tam says softly as he fidgets beside her. His own energy is waned and he is waiting for it to replenish in time, just watching as she empties and refills her quiver before emptying it once more into the target. There's a steady rhythm as she pulls back her bow, sighting along the arrow before it flies into the target again. She does this as a form of meditation.

 

“To the Hinterlands? Why?”

 

It's been a few days and Tam has started to seek her out just to talk. She understands, it's soothing to hear a softer more lyrical voice. Back with Elan all the estates (Really they were just houses but add a garden and any land that won't grow more than scrub and peopl deemed it an estate) had elves under his employ, she's sent messages of course but it's likely that the homes are to be sold and one of his cousins is now to be the benefactor. Oh, she no doubt has been given one, but if so the elves there would know to send word and forge that she was there enough to live peacefully. It'd just be a bolthole for her if anything. Really, the freedom she gained had been the best thing about Elana having been with Elan's father..and yes, the similarity between the names had been quite..interesting..and the assumption had really been that he was elfblooded in courts. Not that it was true but such things persisted. Scandals were the lifeblood of the nobility.

 

Still, Tavaiya had been used to being around many elves. There are few here, a paltry amount as servants but they are cowering things that aren't yet ready for her to approach and start to work on teaching them defense. Hopefully soon though, at least the women. Because there are soldiers here and it is remote, and cold.

 

“I'd like your company.” Tam says and his ears flush pink as she chuckles. He's so innocent that he probably isn't even certain if he likes her or just misinterpreting his relief at being around an attractive elleth but he's confessed to being barely eighteen and Tavaiya is closer to thirty.

 

Maybe that's part of it. Mate and Mamma all in one? But she's no interest in mere boys, indeed she's rarely even had an interest at all even in the most appealing of men, but teasing? Ah now, in Teasing, there is much enjoyment to be had. So softly she changes the tone of her voice, a little huskier, a bit gentler. Her gaze never leaves the target as she lines up another arrow.

 

“You do know the problem with camping out in the wild is you have to sleep fully clothed in case something happens? I think I'd rather stay here where in the room Leliana had cleared for me I can be clad in only my blankets.”

 

She smirks as she hears him squawk awkwardly and stammer even as her arrow slams into the bulls eye. It's stretching the truth, of course. She has a room of sorts adjacent to the other spies and the like but it's barely big enough for her gear and cot. It is not entirely on accident. Not even an immense space is good enough for a rogue, so it's just enough to lock a door, check that there are no hiding places, and to pass out. There's no window even.

 

She'd chosen it over sharing a cabin. Instantly. Though she half suspects if they find another one Leliana is going to shove her in it along with a table and items to make more toxins and elixir's that they don't want to impart the recipes to the alchemist for. If nothing else, some unscented beauty products would go a long ways. Tavaiya is not entirely sure how Josephine goes about getting what she does, but no one who wishes to remain secret wants to smell of roses and lavender. Or vanilla. Yes, let us play secret in the shadows but then waft perfumes towards our targets. No one would expect the aroma of baked goods to come bearing bloodshed.

 

“Will you come?” Tam asks again and it's soft and insistent. Tavaiya eases the bow down and looks over, meeting his green eyes with her own blue. “I just..please?” The Dalish sighs and twists his hand in a gesture as if he would worry his staff..had the fool remembered it. “Please.”

 

“I thought you were already bringing a full party?” She asks instead and since she's already paused, sets the bow against her leg while she fixes her braid. Tavaiya's hair is filled with mixed variants of curls and they are prone to sneaking free of her braids. Once as a child she'd chopped it short hoping it would help. Instead she'd looked like a sheep that had been blessed with a windstorm after being struck by lightning.

 

“I do, but we can fit one more. I promise.”

 

“Whom?”

 

“Varric, Cassandra, and Solas.” He says as he gives her that look again. She lifts a brow.

 

“You've a rogue already.”

 

“Varric can't pick locks.” He smiles, and it's a charming thing all sunshine and shyness that shows off the softness of his cheeks, not yet pulled fully into manhood.

 

“Oh so that's what I'm there for? Don't you have some..” She wiggles her fingers teasingly, remembers doing the same for Elan and hopes Tam will have just as amusing a reaction. “Magically helpful method to do that? I mean really..”

 

“Ah..” Tam blinks. “No.” And it's so simply delivered she can tell she's startled him.

 

“If you can find me a tent. Or convince Cassandra to share.” She agrees then and turns back to the targets. It takes a few minutes before Tam is beaming in her direction and it's amusing how well she can feel it, the humming of his magic fluctuates happily as he bounds off.

 

It's like a hummingbird. Soft and warm and eager, she feels it even once he's left as if the flying jewel was sheltering against her heart.

 

Her lips curve in a smile as Tavaiya resumes firing. There is just something about the young Herald that draws her in. But then, she always did find comfort around those with magic. She can read them so much easier with her other sense.

 

Her fingers pull against the fletching. Only her mother ever knew about that sense.

 

'You'll have to be careful, Da'len.” She had cautioned Tavaiya as Elana resumed chopping up the elfroot for her latest potion. One that they were trying to figure out how to use to hide small amounts of mana..or those who could 'sense' mana. Because Elana could sense Tavaiya, and with the coin she had now for being companion to a human lord she could afford items to try and help hide it. “People destroy what they do not understand. I am a known danger as weak as my connection to the fade is, that you can sense what you do is _not_ normal without mana or lyrium within you. Tell no one.”

 

“Not even Tabris?!” Tavaiya had gasped out in shock. “But he's my _friend!”_ they were staying in Denerim a short while and she'd become friends with the cocky smart mouthed little brat in the alienage who was always getting himself in trouble. His mother was a good rogue and had even been trying to teach her to walk silently. Tabris had eagerly joined in on the lessons, much to his father's moaning about how hard it was going to make finding him a match someday.

 

“No one.” Elana had insisted. She locked eyes with Tavaiya and said it softly. “You must _never._ We are just lucky that your dreams are not affected..”

 

 

For over an hour she just continued to shoot. Another arrow pulled back. The steady even pace approaching of one with the subtle scent of lyrium that trailed through them. Like over ripened fruit, fermenting.

 

“The Herald has informed me you are coming.” Cassandra's voice was even, stern. It lacked the disgusted sound though so clearly she approved of the idea. It was a funny thing, how the Seeker thought.

 

“He asked, and pointed out Varric can't pick locks.” She grinned over her shoulder. “Guess we can harass him about having clumsy fingers instead of clever ones?”

 

A wry smirk was her answer. Cassandra may not indulge in crude humor herself but she could appreciate it if done in a certain way. Generally at the expense of a certain dwarf.

 

“I do not mind sharing a tent. Most likely we shall be on watch in turns so that will make it easier.”

 

“Thank you Cassandra.” Tavaiya yielded, she knew the Seeker wasn't exactly thrilled with her being a rogue, but a few pints and explanations had cleared the air between them easily. Tavaiya wasn't viewed so much as a thieving opportunist by the Seeker anymore. They would likely always disagree on many things but Cassandra's opinion on rogues was more that Tavaiya, like Leliana, did what they did for those they cared for. It was the truth.

 

“You are listening to the Herald. Perhaps some sense is coming to you.” Cassandra complimented as she waited for Tavaiya to gather her arrows.

 

“I do not think Tam nor myself are suddenly loyal Andrastrian's, Seeker..”

 

“There is time.”

 

Tavaiya bit her tongue. You really couldn't argue with those whose faith was all encompassing, it just didn't seem to penetrate. Suddenly though agreeing on this venture was seeming like a very bad idea. The Dalish were known to be preachy to other elves, to look down on them for not frolicking amongst the woods and painting their faces with tattoo's. The Seeker was convinced even more than Leliana that all needed to accept the Maker to bring meaning to their lives.

 

Tavaiya thought they were all crazy.

()()()()()

 

Traveling was entertaining. The moment Leliana knew she was going she'd been hauled in for a last minute revision on the scouts, location, and had several memorized tasks that she'd be finding a way to slip out of the Herald's grasp to accomplish. Mostly it was to aid Harding, someone she knew of but had yet to meet. When Tavaiya had blatantly told the same red haired woman whose vision of the Blight from the Maker was a well known tale in Orlais that she was not looking forward to being caught between the Herald who didn't believe and the Seeker who did..

 

Eh. Leliana had gotten a sly wicked smile and that is when the tasks showed up. As something to escape it for if need be. The nightingale was a clever woman, vicious. Tavaiya really did like her.

 

The one thing Tavaiya had not expected though was the banter.

 

Cassandra and Varric were sniping at each other constantly, amusing her to no end. It seemed the mere fact that the Seeker was not interested only drove Varric to greater levels of impropriety. That all the rogue's currently in Haven knew Cassandra was a fan of his writing and likely fighting to all but swoon over her favorite storyteller in her presence was only adding to this. On the other hand Tam was constantly asking questions of Solas who seemed to be reluctantly answering. It reminded her of watching the elders wish the smallest of elfin children would hush up already after they'd gotten a rare dose of sweets. Not that Tam seemed to be able to _help_ it as he constantly argued and gave his views on things instead. A dalish issue perhaps.

 

Or rather, it was amusing until Tam was then at her side, his hands fluttering about in animated movements as he tried to lecture her on their people's history.

 

“Tam.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Is there a reason you're telling me fairy tales?”

 

“You deserve to know them. You're an elf. Even if you are a flat..er, I mean from the city. It's still your heritage!” And bless him but Tam was so earnest and eager and clearly felt he deserved to be thanked. In truth, had she been just another uneducated alienage brat enamored with the Dalish he may have even gotten such a response. Several of her friends when she was in different alienages had even tried running off to join the Dalish. It sounded a lot like running off to become a minstrel but then again she'd decided to become a rogue bodyguard to a hidden apostate noble so who was she to judge?

 

“Yes I am an elf. A grown one. So again, why are you telling me fairy tales?” She tried to keep her voice gentle but Tavaiya loathed being talked down to. Even if it was by the current 'Herald' of the glowing palm who probably had all the guile of one of his precious halla. After it got into some of the keeper's special herbs. She was pretty certain they had to take something to come up with some of the strange things they did.

 

“They aren't fairy tales.” Tam insisted.

 

“Okay Tam, thank you. Really.” Because clearly he felt this was important and she wasn't going to be an ass over it. “But I've heard a version of all these so far before and they were definitely told as fairytales..”

 

“Oh you've met the Dalish before? Which clan?”

 

“...I am too sober for this.” Tavaiya groaned.

 

“Pipe down glowbug. You remind me of Daisy. Get worked up over everything!” Varric snorted in laughter and Tavaiya latched onto the other subject eagerly recognizing the dwarf's help for what it was. She'd owe him a round of drinks.

 

“Daisy, Varric?”

 

“Yeah. Merrill. Dalish blood mage who reminded me of a fluffy kitten. All big eyes and innocence.”

 

“Okay this I have to hear..Blood magic and fluffy innocence don't seem to go together.” Tavaiya increased her speed slightly, with a faint change of her stride so she was up beside Varric. “Please, tell me of Daisy.”

 

Varric's eyes danced with genuine affection. “Well it started when Hawke dragged us up Sundermount..”

()()()()()()

 

The tales of Daisy went on through the day. Varric took pleasure in sharing the multitude of silly moments, some he was convinced couldn't have been anything but done on purpose with her comments. What Merrill had done was a tragedy but she had tried. She had been misguided and paid dearly but she did her best and thought it had been true. So he downplayed the fact that Merrill was a capable and frighteningly powerful bloodmage, dwelling on her lack of ability to play Wicked Grace, her addled remarks. Her silly behaviors and how she responded to the most mundane of things.

 

In his tales he felt like Daisy was there with him again, that any moment her little frame would dance ahead, twist about and give him that beaming smile. The one that had been borne of affection. Because they were family, a broken strange misshapen family but she was there for him and he was for her and she had been the only one he had told the tale of Bianca too a few nights after the loss of Merrill's clan.

 

And how peculiar was fate, that now he had a brand new broody elf who was a mage and bald as could be? But Chuckles it was, because the man looked at the most dire of straights as if it was a game and they didn't know they had signed up to play. As though it didn't really affect him.

 

He had a new dalish kitten too. Or was this one more of a puppy? Glowy was so much like Merrill he would honestly have thought them the same clan if he didn't know Merrill's was long gone. Both sputtered out their thoughts before they tempered them and wide green eyes and big smiles. Both First's to their keeper's and with a strange magic that struck Varric as right up there with 'don't drink whatever Ander's is making' weird.

 

The third elf though was Secrets and Secrets made _sense._ As weird as she was she was the most normal. At first Varric was reminded of Hawke but he saw a parallel to himself far more. Because Secrets could see where there was opportunity and grasp it, like a good rogue. They were both blondes, though she couldn't be faulted for not being able to compete with his chest hair of course.

 

“Flask for your thoughts?” Tavaiya asked him and he grinned over, spotting mischief in her eyes.

 

“Now isn't it supposed to be a silver?”

 

“If you'd prefer that to what I've got...” She teasingly leered, it was entirely a joke and not even given serious delivery. Indeed she did it deliberately awful he suspected and her reward was his chuckle.

 

“Hand it over! I was just thinking that it's crazy I've gotten surrounded by elves and comparing you all to the lot back when I traveled with the Champion.”

 

Varric wasn't quite sure where she'd pulled that black flask from but she took a pull of it before passing it over. He upened it into his mouth and let out a low whistle.

 

“A woman with expensive taste! You're definitely my counter part. Or maybe Bianca's.”

 

“You're comparing me to your crossbow?” She asked but it was not dismissive. He knew she was enamored of her blades and watched as her eyes trailed over Bianca's form in a way that showed appreciation. Not aptitude, no, she'd confessed that it was in the simplicity of the regular bow she carried that her skills lay but artistry was always recognized by those who appreciated beauty. And to a rogue, to a warrior of any sort but especially one that needed precision and silence, comparison to a beloved weapon was high praise.

 

“You don't quite live up to her lines, but..” He gestured a little, taking another sip from her flask. It was a smooth burn, a delicious whiskey that was like velvet and fire.

 

“Hmmm..I'm the lethal and rigid dealer of death in style, is that what you're saying?” She went along with it, and then there was a wink, a tilt of her jaw and shift of her voice that sent chills down Varric's spine and a warmth spread that was mild, but he was a living man and could appreciate the view and the teasing. It made him think of how luridly Rivani would have been staring at this elf right now had she been there. “That my form invites the touch of only specific, and skilled, hands to slide along my sides? To increase and release the tension in turn as only one could know by touch..that perhaps I am at my most beautiful when singing others to the afterlife of their choosing?”

 

Varric chortled then, his eyes spying a flush on their companions. “You've got a silver tongue there, Secrets. Mind if I use those lines in one of my books?”

 

A little bow of her head and a laugh, and the sultry woman was gone again into the easy gait of the rogue on alert but at ease. “I'm woefully out of practice but feel free Varric.”

 

“That's out of practice?” And if Glowbug didn't just _squeak_. That was priceless.

 

“Sometimes words can avoid the need for other actions altogether.” Secrets agreed with a grin at Tam. “There was a time I could convince others that the very sight of them stole the breath from my lungs and set my pulse racing but those games are fun to play with the ones I know won't take them seriously..but not otherwise.”

 

“Distasteful.” Cassandra scoffed and Varric was highly amused to see her ears still pink. The lady did protest far too much.

 

“Is it?” A skip, she actually flipping skipped! And then Secrets had her arm through Cassandra's with a smile up at the still taller woman. “I would think it would only be distasteful if I acted under such falsehoods.”

 

“Toying with another's affections.” Cassandra gave a short clipped response but did not pull away. Then again with how much those two beat up each other in the mornings -and he was not the only male who greatly enjoyed watching the sight of two beautiful different looking women in a lethal catfight, they always had a massive draw just out of sight- he supposed Cassandra would give Secrets more of leeway.

 

“Oh it's never their _**heart**_ they are thinking with Cassandra!”

 

There was a shifting beside him from Glowbug and a sigh from Solas that amused Varric. Really.

 

“Ever lost yours, Secrets?” Varric drawled easily. He left it vague on purpose and once it sank in Tam was spluttering again.

 

Only laughter was his answer.

 

Well laughter and apparently bandits but hey, when was it ever not bandits?

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

The campfire was warm and the evening pleasantly cool. They had made good time, not a one unused to walking and while Solas set wards around the camp, showing Tam how to inscribe them and what each was for, Varric and Tavaiya slipped further out still and set traps. It was easy, quiet work. Peaceful. Varric had always been better at disarming traps but he was more to ensure he knew where they were as he watched the elf work. Her fingers were slimmer and better suited to the task anyways. And her work was efficiency at it's finest.

Subtle.

She used wires and set snares, hid tracks with branches and leaves and scampered into trees a few times before coming back down. He didn't know what she was doing, nor did he ask. A whistle once at the view she gave that earned him a knowing grin and an eye roll. It was pleasant, being around another rogue again who didn't take any of it seriously. He'd missed that, the casual knowing without any of the weighted consideration. Where appreciating a form was just that and not an invitation.

“Isabella would have loved you, secrets.” Varric urged as they made their way back to the campfire. Done long before the mages but Varric knew better than to rub that little fact in whenever the sparkler playing boys were done. “All of you and she'd probably try to get the group into one drunken orgy. But especially watching you work.”

“It's just a body.” Tavaiya shrugged it off with a laugh and then moved to assist Cassandra with the tent, leaving Varric behind. Before long the lot of them was huddled before the warmth that the fire yielded and finishing off the last of the fresh rations. Hopefully her snares would produce something for breakfast otherwise it would be hard tack and jerky. Since she would be taking third watch she slipped into the tent she'd share with Cassandra at first chance and slipped into a light slumber, one she'd easily waken from.

Tam woke her for her watch,mindful to be silent lest he get an angry Cassandra glaring him into submission; but he seemed agitated and sighed a few times, keeping her company.

“Can't sleep?” She asked softly, her back to the fire so she could see better as she cast her gaze out into the night.

“...My hand hurts.” he confessed and indeed, the dalish was rubbing at his fingers with a wince.

“May I?”

Slowly he yielded, uncurling his fingers for her inspection though she kept her own hands away. It was strange, like a deep gash that should have shown bone but all that was there was a pulsing light. It sent out wisps, like smoke in it's soft light and she hummed softly. She couldn't exactly tell him about the faint drumming sound, that was apparently trying to sink to his own humming.

“Gloves won't hide it?”

“Nothing hides it. It just seems to glow right through..” He agreed with a sigh and a scowl.

“Well..” She shrugged then. “Could be worse. Could be red and then good luck convincing people it wasn't something evil.” 

“No, instead they think I'm from some human deity that apparently abandoned them.” Tam said his mouth twisted in bitterness. For just a moment his shoulders sagged. “I wonder if that's how it always goes. The Maker abandoned his humans, the Creators abandoned us for forgetting to be elves..”

She didn't feel like getting into a religious conversation and just hummed. “We'll know when we are dead. Until then, whatever gets you through the day.”

“You said you'd heard the tales before?” Tam looked over, his eyes bright in the light of his mark and Tavaiya gave in. If he couldn't sleep she could at least answer his questions.

“My mother was Dalish.” She didn't give more than that, and Tam fidgeted. Clearly he wished to ask for more but she had not yielded any openings. Nor would she. Her heritage was hardly something she hid but her own mother had sneered at the Dalish later in life when she'd been taught to read and found a whole world out there. A preserved world for the humans, but yet only the Keeper and first were taught the ways and fully knew the tales? Subjected to faulty memory? No, Elana's opinions had been fierce and honed even sharper in her only blood child. Finally, Tam just nodded and went into the tent with a yawn. Tavaiya was grateful for the silence and knew herself well enough that out here, with the feel of the wards on her senses and the rest she'd already gained there would be no return to sleep for her. She was not familiar enough with their magic to rest so at ease. Not yet. So she wouldn't wake Varric. He could make it up to her another evening. 

Instead her fingers flickered out and she took to dancing a coin across them, flipping and twisting it to keep her knuckles dancing. The tiny bit of metal twisting and whirling like a flying bird. 

Her eyes went upwards and her fingers caught the coin. Tavaiya longed for the feeling of a butterflies wings against her skin, the sound of Elan's heavy footsteps as he'd walk over before he would have sat down. The easy drawl of his voice as he'd ask if there was any chance of finding a nice looking girl to while away the evenings with when they made it to the Hinterlands. He'd chuckle and tease about her blatant jests she'd had with Varric, knowing better than any how empty it was for her. His brown hair and eyes and definitely Fereldan features set in a large grin as he'd then complain about the bandits. Because it was always bandits..but they'd have been whirling together as ever. His magic and her strikes, often her stealing the lightning and flashes of raw power onto her blades, sensing exactly how much and when she could adjust to capture the energies for a blow. They'd have finished, and she'd have laughed and been scooped up by one of his arms because the man was a mountain and tall enough to dwarf even her decent height. Yet for all his strength and power Elan had only ever made Tavaiya feel safe. Cousins they'd jokingly called each other because they didn't bicker near enough to be siblings. He knew she called him butterfly and he'd roll his eyes and flex an arm and ask if Bear wasn't better. And then she'd call him a Mountain or Mabari and they'd settle into laughter once more. There had always been laughter. Mimicking the butterflies that landed on her skin.

But this time there had been only a hummingbird and the hoarfrost had once more faded into crackle and drumbeats as Solas drew on his powers, active magic different in him than latent ones but what did she know of magic that she hadn't gleaned from her mother and heart-sibling? Two admittedly very weak apostates.

Far in the distance she heard the yipping of foxes.

A lone wolf called.

Admist the tents and slumbering forms of the party, with the warm flames at her back, the Jackal was ever alone. More than she had been before. For just a moment she closed her eyes and felt her throat tighten as she bit back a sob. 

Tam was not Elan, not even close. But the world would devour the Dalish boy whose shoulders bent as he looked at his aching hand, a task thrust upon him he had not asked for. She could empathize, since there was no one she could tell of her own ability and seek aid from. And while the humming of his magic was just there, and not soothing, not familiar, it was something.

They were two elves who didn't believe in the Maker, or Andraste. She'd give him a chance to show her why she should extend herself for him. It was more than she'd ever planned to give. But being alone was terribly hard, so she'd wait. See. If he could take only what she gave and how, she'd help him. In her own way.  
()()()()()

Daybreak brought a pair of rabbits that served as breakfast and they set out again. Tavaiya had fallen into one of her silent stretches but had no way to explain her sudden withdrawal from the party other than a shrug and moving ahead as scout most the time. Since the disaster of the Breach forming she had been surrounded by people, and finally Varric had to end the well meaning questions from the Herald with a simple “It's a rogue thing. Sometimes they get funny.”

Blessedly, they let her be after that. 

Once or twice she scampered off, up a tree once she spied birds and returned with eggs. Small things, but still food and never taking all from a nest. Wrapped carefully enough they waited until later and there was one more thing to add to cook over the fire. When finally they came upon scout Harding there was a restlessness to Tavaiya that luckily the freckled dwarf was familiar with. She'd have to be as a leader of scouts and under one of the legendary spymistresses of the age. A rogue who needed to be alone and in silence was a rogue who needed action and immeadiately.

“Right. I need to borrow your elf.” Harding stated as soon as introductions were over and Tam had blinked. 

“Um..me?”

“No, the woman. Unless you're a girl too, can't always tell with you elves you're all so slightly made.” Harding made a hand motion and Tavaiya moved forward in a glide. Varric had fallen silent, appraising, but Harding's light eyes raked over Tavaiya and nodded at what she saw. Or rather, what she didn't see. “Good. You're definitely on edge and I need that right now. Go meet up with my second, he's back a ways up the trail and can brief you. You good with that bow on you?”

Tavaiya's answering grin was slightly feral. She'd been out in the open, moving slow, moving obviously for too long. It was 'light sickness' as many rogues called it. Feeling too exposed for a long time made them restless and on edge. Dangerous. That Harding wouldn't know of her from Leliana was not even a remote possibility. Not when all seven of her tasks from the spymistress related to assisting the dwarf with things that would never be shared outside of Leliana's network.

“But what if we need you?” Tam asked, his wide green eyes earnest and Tavaiya smirked at him over her shoulder.

“Tam, if you really find a huge ornate chest in the middle of nowhere in the Hinterlands I'll personally go with you and unlock it, all right? But let...I need to go do what I am good at.”

“Can't charm the villagers for us?” Tam asked and it was actually a good idea of his but she shook her head, jaw clenched.

“Later.”

Her body shifted then, still. Wary. Ready. Lethal. Hair trigger.

Harding caught it and waved her off. “Get.”

Tavaiya slipped into stealth and moved as swiftly as she could without giving her position away. She didn't really need to meet up with Harding's second, but he would have directions. A map. There were situations to be made and taken advantage of. The more politically handy would be left to the Herald and his party. But there was always situations people like Tam didn't know about. And if there was to be an easy transition to the maneuvers Leliana and Cassandra were enacting, various people needed to be threatened. To have their supply chains messed with. Spying would be done, alliances courted in the darkest of the shadows.

All things that the figureheads never were to know of, but it was part of life.

Tavaiya was a rogue. A loyal one perhaps, but she thrilled still in the hunt, the chase, the allure of almost not making it before another took her chance. Shadows and Silence kept her.  
()()()()()()()()

When on a job you had to forget things like time. Oh you knew watch hours if needed, and kept track of the depth of the shadows and time until the dawn broke but days and weeks were a moot point. You didn't rush. 

Tavaiya was trailing after a group with her stealth fully embraced. She was able to move without being seen in a crowd or thanks to Lord Seuin's holdings being often out in the midst of Ferelden and Orleisian wilderness, she was more familiar with the outdoors than her alienage only kindred. Right then she was as light of gear as possible. She'd easily abandoned her pack with Harding, only the things she could carry over long distances and silently on her person. The necessities. Even her bow had been left behind and all the arrows in favor of her long daggers, smaller knives, and ever so lethal wire. 

It marked her as assassin trained even if she had never chosen the profession herself. Wire was for snares and traps but a long thin wire could strangle and cut just as easily. Her gloves had reinforced padding on palms and parts of the fingers for just such a reason. The garrote was an underutilized weapon. If you could be stealthy enough.

It was the dead of night and they'd fallen into their tents. The parallels to just a few nights ago made her eyes narrow. This was a group that was made of templars who had been kicked out. Ones that would only exacerbate the current tensions. Honestly no matter how the conclave would have turned out if things went as planned, ones such as this group had to be dealt with.

There was only four.  
The sluggish call of their lyrium was a fallow field to the lushness of the one that poured from Cassandra but it made this an even more exacting job for Tavaiya. Not that Leilana knew, she probably just thought it would be a test of her skills.

Tavaiya grinned and bared her teeth against the inside of her lips. She'd not give herself away by the paleness of her smile anymore than she would fully open her eyes instead of letting her lashes help hide the tell tale gleam of elfin irises that tended to throw back light as a cat's did.

There was the guard. His back to the shadows. Two in their tent. One out beyond, likely tending to the call of nature. The humor demanded that she handle that one first. Best case, if he made a sound they'd assume he just made a mess or grabbed the wrong sort of leaves. It would buy her time.

Sure enough when she moved behind the templar he was fumbling with the waistband of his trousers. He never did get the belt refastened before she cut off his air supply, when his hands went to his throat in an instinctive grab to try and undo her lasso she stabbed him in the back and then lowered him slowly. She slit his throat for good measure, before moving on. This was the darker part of her job, her chosen calling but it was needed. 

Besides, templars like these ones would have been circle mage abusers. The small minded sort who fell into the lure of having power over another. 

The ones in the tent were next. Counter to all intelligence she moved to them but it was simple, an intake of breath, slip a jar underneath the flap in the back after cracking the lid and move.

The paralysis gas would take effect and in that time she'd dropped the fire watching one.

As soon as she knew it had been long enough she slipped into the tent, still holding her breath and in two more strikes all four were dead. Though her lungs burned Tavaiya waited until she was out of the area before gasping in lungfulls of air.

It was a foul slime sensation on her skin, killing the unwary.

However, there was always need of those who did what was foul and needed to be done, in order for those who would inspire and draw adoration to shine.   
()()()()()()

The other tasks were fairly easy. Meeting with people, exchanging messages and setting up smuggling routes to redirect from original locations to Haven. Tavaiya ran herself ragged to complete them, indulging afterwards with a wineskin that Harding handed her and the utter boneless delight of letting her guard down a little amongst other unsavories who knew loyalty.

That was how Tam returned to find her. Armor off to be patched, just in her breast bindings and loose undershirt that was falling off a shoulder, her hair only in a single loose braid that barely held the curls in as it fell to her waist and bandages around her arms and fingers. She grinned teasingly up at him, unconcerned about her state and sipped her drink. 

“How fares the Herald and his Errands?” She teased him and Tam groaned.

“They had me find a missing Druffalo. A druffalo! I stepped in it's..” He flopped down, the others no doubt catching a moment to hand off whatever oddities they'd found. “Please tell me Tavaiya, you haven't just been drinking and relaxing?”

“Been busy running errands. Just took a break to patch up my skin and armor. Find any elusive chests in the midst of druffalo shit?”

Tam looked over and his expression was a little more aged, a little less helpless. It suited him. He was still all wide eyes and doubtlessly heart on his sleeve but it seemed having tiny tasks working out and getting recognition had done him a great deal of service.

As they'd all known.

It's not like that druffalo had wandered off on it's own but that hadn't been her job thankfully. One of the scouts assigned to that little kidnapping had nearly gotten gored. 

Fact of life. If a need was not there, they would create one. 

“Yes actually. There's a few places we need to go but we needed a break and health potions. How is it that everyone out here has these issues only I can seem to fix?!”

“Faith.” Tavaiya stated and when Tam looked bewildered she sighed. “You're the Herald of Andraste to them, By the Night, Tam, you know these people have no proof of anything and they believe. You pop up with a glowing hand and are helpful and so you're just the latest direction of what was probably prayers for these same menial tasks they used to shuffle around and clasp hands over.” At this point the others had moved over and Tavaiya could sense the amusement pouring out of Solas, and the disapproval from Cassandra that overlaid their respective magical energies. Tam though was still humming softly, focused on her. 

Varric was probably taking notes the loveable little shit.

“Seriously, just be glad you're not a god. Can you imagine the inane prayers they must get all the time in droves if you are just the supposed messenger of the messenger and you're being asked to find druffalos and what, the left stocking of someone's grandfather?”

“Practically.” Tam admitted but he was smiling again. Slowly he nodded, and relaxed. “I still feel like an idiot doing half these things.”

“It's likely to save your hide.” Tavaiya answered and this time her voice wasn't teasing but serious. Her eyes locked on Tam's and she spoke softly, carefully, fully aware she was buzzed and working around it. “This isn't your clan, Tam. The conclave blew up and tensions were already ablaze with mages feared and watched. If they were lucky. You're a Dalish elf mage, not just a first here. They see you as the exotic savage they don't understand and you wield magic. It's very short and steep drop to go from blessed wonder to the next nightmare cautionary tale. You need to handle doing stupid things and errands because it will keep you firmly as Herald, and that title right now is protecting you.”

Tam grimaced and nodded. “I know I just..well..what about you? You hate magic too?” He asked and there was that spike in hoarfrost. The wary watchful nature of it that curled around the area. Tam only blinked and so she figured that no, not even most mages could sense that. Which meant she needed to be very careful of how much she revealed. Tavaiya didn't know why she could be so aware of the subtle turns in the studios apostate's moods but she remembered the gaze of a predator. He'd never said anything during travel or even given a hint of that same demeanor, but Tavaiya knew to never trust a placid predator. 

So, she'd be her namesake. The jackal was a known scavenger as much as a predator and she could lay a true, but elusively misleading, trail. 

“Hardly. My mother was cast out from her clan because she got the dreams and they already had a keeper and a first.”

The Lyrium like sense from Cassandra went electric like the air after a storm and the reaction from Solas? The honey wine was suddenly thicker and coated her senses even as the hoarfrost all but descended from light touch into a flurry. She had to pull a drink from her wine skin to help keep from visibly reacting, and closed her eyes.

The combination of senses, with Tams rapid humming and the sudden sensation of dimmed drumbeats from his mark was...

Well. She needed a lot more wine. She'd missed magic.

“Your mother was an apostate?” Cassandra asked. “She did not seek out a circle did she? How ...irresponsible.” Honestly it was fairly diplomatic for the seeker but Tavaiya shook her head.

“She was weak. Very weak in her connection to the fade and her Keeper ensured she knew the basics before sending her out. She was always worried I'd have magic and she wouldn't be enough but..” Tavaiya looked up, first at Tam whose wide eyed gaze was sympathetic and relieved, then Cassandra who was scowling, Varric was just looking at her with a brow up and Solas..well he was apparently more interested in the plants he was pulling out of his satchel.

Except the curl of hoarfrost at her made Tavaiya think of how one would cup a hand to their ear. He was fully paying attention.

“I've none to me.” And it was true. She had no magic of her own, but that didn't mean she didn't sense it, knew how to redirect and adjust it and at times she'd even thought with Elan she could sort of..resonate with it. In the height of battle. Still it was not her magic. “But I've been around it enough to be comfortable with it and frankly since apparently puppy eyes here..” She gestured to Tam who colored a fine shade and made Tavaiya grin. Really, it was a pity he was so young. He was a cute little thing and in her teens she may have been interested but that was long ago. “Wants to know, my friend Elan was also an apostate. Stronger than my mother but still..not so much she couldn't teach him and he was able to stay out of the circle and just play eccentric noble.”

“Elan?” Tam asked and suddenly what she was confessing crashed upon her as surely as the taste of the wine on her tongue. All she tasted was the tannins. Bitter.

“He died in the explosion when the Breach formed.” She said softly.

“I, ah, I'm sorry. For your loss. You were close than?” Tam asked and attempted to look calm as he fidgeted.

Tavaiya looked at him, truly did and locked eyes. Blue to Green and then she dipped her head. “Closer than you may think. My mother was mistress to his father for a time, until she offered to train Elan. Then she just was called his mistress but I spent much of my childhood like a sort of distant family member.” She let her head fall back then.

“Elan was a good man. Not always the brightest, and anything female with big enough hips and a low cut top drew his attention but he was still kind. We considered each other cousins, didn't argue enough to be siblings.”

“He was a shem?”

“He was Elan.” She opened an eye and smirked at Tam. “One thing you need to learn, Herald, is that as long as you regard people by their race, and they do the same, you're holding yourself back. Elan was Elan but yes he was a human. I was just Tavaiya to him, that my ears were pointed didn't matter. He was more annoyed at the fact I was always warning the girls away from him when he'd upset me.” 

“But..” Tam paused then and shook his head. “I guess I just don't..I mean, you're an Elf! One of the people..”

“Who was Shartan?”

“Pardon?”

Tavaiya shrugged, ignoring their audience. “Who was Shartan?” 

“He lead the rebels in Tevinter with Andraste...founded the dales.”

“Yes. Notice at no point there did you say he was an elf. That's just what comes after.” Tavaiya smirked then and stood. “You've a chance to be known as Tam the Herald of Andraste, that your hand glows green will draw more attention than the form of your frame, Tam. It's a good thing. A good chance. For you and those you call your people to be seen as more than features they bear. Start thinking of that.” Tavaiya sighed and then passed her wine skin to Cassandra. “Clearly I've had enough. Good night.”

There was the faintest tug at her skin from the hoarfrost, as if perhaps someone wanted to hear more of what she'd said. Thought it should have continued. 

Tavaiya didn't owe any explanations she didn't wish to give though and ignored the sensation of frost curving over her skin as she sought out her bed roll.

The odds of Tam letting her stay with the scouts now that he'd come back was pretty much gone. Goody. She'd heard rumors of the mess that was Hinterlands and wasn't looking forward to playing errand runner.

The heady taste of honey wine followed her until she slipped fully into the fade, with the chill of frost against her skin.


	5. Hinterlands still

Bears.

Seriously. Bandits and Bears and utterly pointless... except.

The fights made Tavaiya feel alive. Her senses did not alert her to the Bears, but when they ran across templars and rogue mages she was once more a creature without equal utilizing her other senses. With both Tam and Solas becoming more familiar to her she was even less hesitant around their casting. More than once that she'd dove in right after the tail end of a spell, when anyone else would have taken severe damage from the exposure if not able to time it just so..she'd heard the members of her party gasp.

The rush of adrenaline and the beating drums and crackling magic, that cascaded into the humming of Tam's power, the tang of Cassandra's seeker abilities so like and unlike those of a templar. It was a new found drug, no, an old one she'd been pulled from but just now finding once more and how to properly consume it. This new combination of it. 

Her daggers divided and adjusted lightning, fanned flames into organs, she absolutely exulted in the frost and ice spells that set her blades gleaming right before she'd change her strike as the target froze and shatter them.

Tavaiya constantly was darting in and out, at their backs and then hamstringing the opponents, blinding them, striking in between the armor as only one who could all but feel where to do so could. The Templars would lash out with their smite but though it set her jaw on edge she did not have magic and so all it did was deaden her senses some but even in that it became noticeable for the sheer void and once more she'd be on them. Chasing the overripe tang of fermenting fruit that would wisp up and betray them, filling her nostrils and covering her tongue long before they could have tried to strike. 

A wild and feral thing, a force of nature that Templar and Mage fell to. Tavaiya was the Jackal fully enmeshed in her madness, her specifically unique form of it that she could both surrender to and control in ways that berserker's only dreamed of. Thought and instinct drove her against the Templars and Mages, when firestorms and icy winds chased lightning and her blood sang.

The blood mages they chased down, that Tam tried to reason with? She could have warned him. They felt feverish and festering, reminding her of the sensation of when she'd gotten an infected cut on her arm as a child and actually been able to pull some of the puss out like some hardened jelly it had been the strangest feeling. It wasn't just the blood magic, but the corrupted state they used it, calling upon themselves to submit to being abominations.

Tavaiya had not realized until than that she could hate in such a way. But when her senses were screaming and demanding she be rid of the source of wrongwrongwrong she came to herself as the last one died and tilted her head. Heedless of the gore as she met the curious eyes facing her.

“Apparently I really don't like abominations.”

For some reason, nerves, battle lust, it set off Varric and Tam into laughter and even Cassandra shook her head with a chuffing sound. Solas stayed silent and looking around as if all of this was beneath him. Her nerves shot from the smiting and then the utter soul deep loathing she had just been through, set her on edge. Because the pervasive loss from the void that had been wrong on it's own had then compiled with the bitter memories of festering blood and flesh and every sense that such abominations had overwhelmed her with. She felt her skin shuddering at the memory still and did not loot the bodies for once.

Tavaiya did not notice the peculiar look Solas sent her as he examined the fallen.

“How do you do that anyways?” Tam asked as they started to walk again, seeking out yet another fools errand. At least now they'd claimed more lyrium potions and coin. Left the roads a little safer.

“Hm?” Tavaiya asked and watched the way Tam bit his upper lip, it was strange seeing someone do that. Usually they bit the lower lip but Tam actually pulled on the upper one.

“I mean, you don't even hesitate. What if I burned you?”

“Then I have to use a healing potion or poultice.” Tavaiya answered wryly. “I told you my best friend was a mage. We trained together, that includes fighting. I'm used to not getting my head blown off.”

“Should you misjudge? What then?” Solas joined in, drawling in a way that seemed to drip disapproval.

Tavaiya probably shouldn't find his haughty tones funny but paired with the absolute stillness of his attention she could still feel, resonating with the drumming of his battle casting and paired with the ever present hum from Tam it was chasing away the vile memories of the abominations. With that easing up she tossed him a wry grin.

“That usually means blisters or the like when I burn. Really, I have a lot of practice.” 

Cassandra scowled and there was a variation of displeased grunts from the two mages. Tavaiya's eyes met Varric's as the rogue's exchanged 'seriously they're bickering now just because they are safe, aren't they?' expressions. Varric shrugged.

'What are you going to do? These noble types..'

Tavaiya waved her hand in a vertical so-so movement. 'Yet if I hadn't they'd want to know what I was sitting on the sides for.'

A brow raised and he smirked. 'Course. They only complain when they aren't hurt.'

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. 'They act like they're going to live forever.'

Varric snorted a laugh and then nodded. They dropped the silent conversation then. Really, in their own way each of the three 'scolding' her for her recklessness was as haughty and overbearing as could be.

“Drinks?” Varric said out loud as they started back towards the layout of the buildings. Aside from Tam it wasn't likely anyone actually had paid attention to what fools errand they'd even been on this time. Someone had even sent them out for flowers. Seriously. Flowers.

“Indeed.” 

“Considering your recent behavior the last thing you need is anything to impair your judgment further.” Cassandra scoffed and Tavaiya smirked at her.

Just because she could, she dropped her voice suggestively and added the tiniest additional sway to her hips. “Going to punish me, Seeker?”

That it was Tam who turned red and started blathering on about nonsense was priceless. 

“We're being led by an innocent.” Tavaiya mumbled softly, but Solas just raised a brow, able to hear the soft spoken words even over Tam's nonsense as he and Cassandra started lecturing Varric on being a terrible influence. Of course the dwarf was running with the idea and offering to teach the Seeker a few things about terrible and what a real naughty influence was. Huh. She needed to remember that line about cream and sugar upon golden skin..

“There are worse things.”

Tavaiya glanced over Solas, and smirked. “You started it.” She laughed at the deadpan expression he gave her for the childish remark. “Really. Commenting on if I'd missed..if so then I miss. I keep potions and salves you know. I'd be fine.”

“Remarkable that information never comes up when anyone else is in need of them.”

Tavaiya looked ahead, stifling a yawn because of course they'd been following Tam in circles for nearly two hours before the boy had actually tried to read the map. That he'd had upside down. “If they were standard recipes, certainly. Most don't wish to try a rogue's concoctions.”

A hand was extended her way, brow raised in challenge as his fingers half curled. A dare. One he was highly amused thinking she would back away from.

Curiously, that was only evident because she could feel the slide of honeywine across her palate and yet she didn't hesitate to remove one of her vials from her belt. One that blended stamina and lesser healing draught. Tavaiya kept her own secretive brew tucked against her skin but these she could and would share if need be.

“Not sure it will do you much good, Elan always said the stamina portion was a waste.”

“...Blending the two renders them both fairly ineffective.” Solas commented as he opened it, smelling the blend and holding it up to the light as they waited further back from the other three. “Seems more viscous as well.”

“Generally gets that way in the cold.” She agreed and smirked at him. “I keep my supply against my skin most the time..but for some reason you reach into the breast bands and people stare so I started keeping them further out.”

“...riveting.” Solas deadpanned but the vial was pocketed. “Still it seems...decently..of use.”

“I did a version that we added a few drops of lyrium to. That tended to avoid depletion shock but was about all it was good for besides halting the worst of the bleeding.” Tavaiya offered and then wanted to chuckle. She had no reason to tell him that, none save she was enjoying the taste of honeywine upon her lips. At least he was pleasant to listen to, if she had to be around others.

“That seems it would be of far greater use. Considering the group we are in company with. I would not put it past the Herald to overextend his abilities.”

Tavaiya chuckled at that and spread her hands, a gesture known to all as 'what can you do'. “If it keeps him from lecturing me for a few days..”

“Yes, you seem particularly uninterested in his..Dalish lessons.” His tone was as calm and even as ever but there was a sharpness to the hoarfrost and if Elan had always found the beat of his magic's butterfly wings would loosen Tavaiya's tongue, it had nothing on the hoarfrost. There was something about the faintest brush of the cold that her mind pictured in resplendent patterns that gave words flight even beyond the drowning of honeywine.

“They hoard little scraps of knowledge which are doubtlessly altered in the long years of telling, write nothing down. Save nothing, share nothing. The odds of it being at all related to the truth is as far fetched as that none can tell me the same tale. History is history and while the victors and ideas may alter perspective certain facts are always the same.”

“Oh?” 

Tavaiya looked over, she had not realized at some point she and Solas had taken to leaning against the same decrepit wooden fence. The regard was back, the predatory gaze. Curious, indulgent, watchful. He'd have been horrified no doubt if he'd any idea how much behind his stoic facade she could read from his own magic.

“Ever seen children playing the game called mocking birds?”

“I cannot say I have.”

Tavaiya hummed, nudged the fence and then pulled herself onto it, sitting restlessly, swinging one foot at ease and bracing her weight upon her hands. Otherwise she'd start twirling a dagger and there were too many noncombatants in the area to risk being startled. “We played it a great deal in the alienages. You get the lot of scruffy little bored hellions together..” She grinned at the soft chuckle, almost inaudible that he gave. “And they spread out. Fan out as far as can be without being out of sight. Though that last bit was due to whatever poor elder was assigned watching over us. We took pity on them.” She hummed then, unconsciously mimicking the distant buzz of Tam's own humming melody as she heard it. A low sound that undulated softly. “One child goes to the second, says a few lines. Perhaps 'Tabris ate a snail yesterday, and he thought I didn't see.' It doesn't matter what it was..” She paused then and smirked over, the gray of Solas's gaze upon her steadily and Tavaiya grinned. “He did, by the way. That it was a dare didn't matter.”

A raised brow, the faintest twitch to his lips and then Tavaiya continued.

“The second child, if they do not fall into blows or giggle for too long, then runs and tells another leaving the first behind. And so on, and so on..” She reached over head, stretching slowly to ease the strain of her spine. “And by the time the last child has heard the message the little ones gather round, and the final one blurts out the message. Which some how has altered with the telling into “Danny let out the fleas.' Nothing at all in common with the original message.” 

“This is what you suspect of the Dalish's tales?”

“Indeed.”

Solas hummed then and the hoarfrost nearly stole her breath even as the silver of his eyes went molten. Echoing the power she sensed for just a moment latent and deeply below anything she should be aware of if not for her peculiarity. The honeywine seemed to explode across her lips and tongue, and there was a scent..the loam of a forest after a winter's rain. It made Tavaiya remind herself to not react, to breathe slowly.

His magic, she thought with concern, even passive..could be an addicting sensation.

“A more thought out insight. In fact on many times I have traversed the fade I have seen enough to suspect your own ideas are not entirely without credence.” Solas trailed off then but Tavaiya was not letting that go.

“I've heard only a little of that, could you explain?”

Solas seemed taken aback, and glanced over his shoulder. Cassandra, Varric, and Tam were still in a long round about discussion with the potential horse master though and he turned his attention back to the rogue.

“What do you wish to know?”

“Everything?” Tavaiya grinned and then chuckled. “Honestly, my only real experience is in the few books Elan managed to get, and from my first hand experience but they couldn't explain it to me. No more than I could probably let you know how it is I know when and where to use stealth versus one of my attacks..but whatever insight you are willing to share..I'd be grateful for.”  
()()()()()()()

Solas found only honesty in the rogue's countenance. At least as much as any true rogue would ever display. He'd answered such questions thousands of times over his many years and set about the all but scripted descriptions of his walks in the fade and dreaming. The usual queries on spirits and how dreams worked, the adjusted terms for the demons and abominations that were so rampant and known to the quicklings.

Tam himself had asked most of these back in Haven.

He'd never been the focus of a non mage who seemed so entirely eager to know however. This was unique, for she asked about senses, and time. She asked about how he thought he perceived things compared to those who only had dreams without control, without the enhancement of the Fade to their daily lives. The predator, the dangerous and reckless creature he had been unable not to notice in all the recent battles had passed away and now instead, it was the quickness of mind and not blade that was drawing light.

It was discomforting to see he had been just as far off in his initial thoughts of her as a 'simple' rogue.

She asked about his journey's in the fade and though he waxed long on the famous battle of Ostagar, one that usually had everyone of this recent Blight's generation changing the topic she instead asked if he had seen any from the perspective of the Darkspawn.

It had honestly stymied Solas.

“Why do you wish to know?”

“They were still living. Corrupt and vile, we had to handle a few of them and it was not an experience I wish on anyone if only for the fact they seemed to steal the hope and strength of those against them, but they still lived. So wouldn't they leave an impression as well? Especially on such a battle ground.”

No one had ever asked about the disgusting things before. It was more taboo that discussing spirits and demons and yet he inclined his head. “I have at times but as you said, they are corrupt and the markings they left on the fade was much the same. It was like stepping in something best avoided but I was still left with an impression of nigh endless hunger, drive, and the relentless determination that surged them forward. Whatever the darkspawn were once, there was nothing remaining worth redemption.”

“I'm sorry that you experienced that.” It was said without looking, for she was scouring ahead. Solas hadn't even minded going up on point with her after they had once more set out, at the front of the group this time; as he was always eager to explain the wonders of the fade. Perhaps in some way he even felt he owed it to her, since it was his mistakes that left her so bereft of what would have been her birthright thousands of years ago.

“It was certainly something to experience.”

“...another?” And she gave a crooked smile, a hopeful one. One that wasn't bashful in the least but more like wheedling a drink from a friend who was buying.

“Am I not boring you?”

“Hardly!” Tavaiya started to laugh and then and went still. Silent. Her body language shifted and he was fascinated seeing the way her skin went up in goosebumps so close as they were standing beside each other for his eyes to make out on the back of her neck. It was like she felt a cold that none of them did, indeed this time of day the Hinterlands were warm and they were all heated from their traveling. He sensed nothing but her instincts appeared hard won and slowly she looked about. Licked her lips without being aware she was doing it. 

Though he had never seen anyone seeming to savor the taste of approaching danger as if they were honestly -tasting- it.

“Hear that?” She whispered softly, and twisted, hands flashing in a rapid signal to Varric who unslung Bianca, even as she palmed her own bow. Her fingers moved to the fletching of arrows at her back.

Solas looked around but he didn't. The usual bird song. The rustling of plant life, insects. There was no stillness, no warning sound. No crashing of bears in the wild to set her on edge.

“No...”

“Listen. Metal.” She mumbled and then wasn't beside him, vanished into stealth. Only a heartbeat later did his ears, which should have been so much more sensitive than her own, detect the heavy sound of armor.

The templars did not catch them unaware. He did note in the back of his mind, that they had not actually managed to do so even once on this journey once she had taken up with them once more. Only while she'd been off doing who knew what for Scout Harding.

No wonder the dwarf had seemed disgruntled when the Herald reclaimed her, if she was this effective.


	6. Chapter 6

Being back in Haven was a relief. Considering her lack of shoes, that she was even remotely happy to be traipsing in the snow bare of toe it only summed up just how exhausting the Hinterlands were.

 

Massive, expansive, overly bear infested. That was the hinterlands. Of course they had horses now and if watching Tam try not to fall off in a saddle wasn't just precious. He'd blushed and commented that a halla had different gaits, how they rode bareback. It had started one of the first decent conversations the two elves had since Tam had gotten it into his mind to instruct her on being more..elvhen.

 

Having never actually seen a real halla, Tavaiya was curious. She asked simple questions then, ones she never had the chance to learn from her mother. It was far more interesting to learn of the split between hunters and warriors, elders and those who took care of crafting and cooking. The balance of a society that could barely manage as almost all of a clan was related or somehow intermarried enough to be like an extended family. If the others thought the animation she was now showing was strange, they said nothing. The cadence to Tam's humming magic had shifted as he spoke of his beloved clan and how they were different. The stories of his family, his clan, his friends, those she wanted to hear. Tam the First, the lecturer had passed into just a young man with dancing eyes and a quick smile as he blundered through the silly tales of his friends especially as little ones.

 

“So then we were running like mad, but what made the noise was not the dread wolf at all but just the shem's pet mabari that we'd given belly rubs earlier while our hahren spoke with it's owner! It thought we were playing chase!” He laughed and it made for quite a few chuckles all around.

 

“Got pinned down and all slobbered on?” Varric asked knowingly and Tam's shudder told the tale succinctly.

 

“Elan always wanted a Mabari, Ferelden lord thing I suppose. He couldn't afford one so he just got a regular dog as a present from his father. The thing was always trying to nip at me!” Tavaiya offered with a grin. “Couldn't stand me. Of course since it was about ankle height and looked more like a ball of fluff with tiny legs..I just consented to wearing boots.”

 

“He got a small fluffy dog from his father?” Cassandra's lips were twitching and Tavaiya turned in her saddle to regard the seeker. Her own horse was a nondescript brown color but every so often the silly thing tried to speed up. For some reason it seemed to think every movement meant to try and dart ahead, so it took a minute to settle the gelding back down.

 

“Well originally it was a gift to Lord Seuin from his latest mistress, and he just saw a chance to pass it on.”

 

“I thought your mother was..” Tam blushed then and cleared his throat. Tavaiya blinked at him a few times.

 

“Well yes.”

 

“Didn't that...or wasn't she..I mean..” Tam started to trip over his words again and finally Cassandra piped up with the explanation. Her voice dry and even as she stated the simple facts.

 

“Even lesser lords often have multiple mistresses. It is a thing of status.”

 

“Oh!”

 

Tavaiya chuckled and nodded. “He was a good enough man, but my mother stopped being his mistress around the time she started training Elan. We were sent off to one of his smaller homes, usually around towards the Brecillian forest side of Ferelden more than Redcliffe. It helped spawn a lot of rumors that Elan was elfblooded, because his former 'savage' mistress gets sent there and then his young son? But since it was a convenient cover story to hide that she was an apostate teaching a young mage it worked beautifully. It's not the first of it's type either. Lots of times nobles would try to find a circle mage outside their confines, usually doing research, or a hedge witch or the like who could help train their heirs until they managed another one. If not at least they would wait until they were old enough to sire children themselves and then suggest a life of 'the chantry' which would see them slip into the circles. I saw it quite a bit but Elan was _very_ lucky.”

 

“That is indeed, uncommon luck as much that nothing went wrong as that he was overlooked.” Cassandra mumbled. “Generally the templars are far more careful in their routine sweeps. It would have been terribly suspicious if they never looked into him.”

 

“They did. I do recall telling you he was a -weak- mage.” Tavaiya shrugged. That she'd been able to sense the templars, sense when Elan and her mother were stressed and could provide distraction was simple. A dropped goblet, a shriek of seeing a spider?

 

And the concoction her mother and Tavaiya had found that would dull her senses, hide her from the senses of others. It was possible to use on mages too, to weaken their bond to the fade for a while. Elan had said it was like functioning with a bad hangover but it was preferable to being found out and dragged to a circle. For Tavaiya it always felt more like plugging her ears with cotton or breathing through a scarf around her lower face. Mostly negligible. Not that she was going to bring those things up. Or tell that she always kept a number of the vials holding that against her skin, ready for if she needed it. Honestly she'd yet to interact save the most distant of ways with either Tam or Solas's magic so for now, as long as she kept from getting injured and neither tried casting a barrier on her or Solas healing..

 

She would remain invisible. Elana had sensed her daughter, a sort of distant awareness. Like just recognizing someone's footfalls in an empty room. Elan had compared it more to a tune stuck in his thoughts. They had both been pitiful in comparison to the feats she had seen Tam and Solas use. Even Cassandra's lyrium like scent made her mother seem pale and wan. Only that Elan had decided instead of lamenting his less than impressive magical capacity as means to learn how to fight like every lord's son had kept him from perhaps becoming one of those cautionary tales. Elan had never wanted to be a mage anyways, he had magic, he controlled it. But really outside of fighting the most he used it for was to chill bottles of white wine or casks of ale. In a fight he'd throw lightning and fireballs and then once depleted, charge with shield and mace in hands.

 

The last thing someone thought when spying a very large slightly heavy set Ferelden lord's son was mage. Not when he carried weapons and wore light armor. Or was charging at them like a crazed mabari. Tavaiya shook her head, the constricting chest pain making her draw in a sharp breath.

 

Her hands locked tight on her reigns and Varric, again, stepped up to help distract. He was eerily good at that.

 

“Okay, so we are telling embarrassing stories. Your turn Seeker!”

 

“Hm. Very well.” Cassandra yielded. The dark rimmed eyes had also seen the sudden affliction of grief upon Tavaiya's face. It was a problem she knew all too well herself, when you shoved all those emotions down and aside eventually they'd start to sneak free on their own. “There was a time when I was young, before I knew I wished to become a seeker when one of my siblings convinced me the Chant of Light had a secondary portion, the Chant of Shadows. They made up passages consisting of things one was to do and not to do in polite society. It was of course, all falsehoods mostly meant to have one blurt out profanities I was unfamiliar with at that tender age, and ended with none of us to attend to a party for nigh four months with daily lessons in the proper use of the chant added on to the usual tutoring.”

 

There was a completely baffled silence. Cassandra smirked. “I had gone straight to my local Mother of course to clarify. I was only punished for having voiced such things aloud in the Chantry.”

 

“Any chance you'd repeat them for the audience?” Varric egged her on.

 

“You know dwarf, it has been so long I simply can not remember.”

 

The banter between the party had stayed light on the trip to Haven, blessedly shortened with their mounts. Watching Varric attempt to ride was enough to put them all in high spirits anyways, and how he dismounted..well, the pony couldn't seem to dump him fast enough.

 

It appeared that in the many battles and tasks of mind numbing idiocy the small group had bonded. Well, Tam had been pulled into the rogue's circle and at times Tavaiya's influence was getting a few contributions from Cassandra. The seeker was a brilliant woman, and her choice in literature showed she certainly had blood as red as any, so that at times she could stun Varric and make Tam blush.

 

Well Tam just was one of those souls that you simply couldn't help but tease.

 

And if once they were in their tents Cassandra had even badly attempted 'girl talk' in soft whispers with Tavaiya, that was their secret. Truly though the woman did have lots of old gossip from her younger days and Tavaiya was only too happy to return the favors in kind. Gossip no matter how old of what scandals had occurred was always pleasant memories. Cassandra clearly was delighting in having someone who didn't rat her out for being a woman still. That the tough and strong Seeker was still a dear fan of poems and romance, who found delight in the smallest of things. It just was that she was not one for the garments of silk and lace. She found her joy in her armor not a corset. It did not mean though, that she could not look at such things with fondness.

 

Truly, Tavaiya thought it rather like her filthy flirtations and teasing. She never intended to become a wanton harlot but she enjoyed implying it. Made things a bit more fun.

 

Out of the tents while they would jest though, Cassandra save for a few instances was always business. She was on duty so to speak. It had been nearly a month in the Hinterlands, because Tam really got lost everywhere. For a dalish he had absolutely no sense of direction. Several times they'd had to backtrack almost an entire location because if he had just turned the other way when they'd first entered the grassy knoll, or that other cave...

 

Camping together so long, and none of them really saying anything if Tavaiya slipped away for a day or two only to come back and correct their map, also meant she was now used to the feel of Cassandra's Seeker abilities and the scent now helped her sleep deeper. She _**trusted**_ Cassandra.

 

They had been the only two girls. Quite simply they had been doing everything together because you did not go into bear and bandit territory and drop britches anywhere alone. The templars she had taken out so long before were proof of that.

 

But now they were back in Haven, Tam had needed to go fill in his little advisory group of something a mother Giselle had said to him and she was just relieved to be back in her small room on the cot.

 

Her room was empty, the door locked, and as assured of safety and privacy as she could get, Tavaiya stripped down to nothing for the first time in too long, and huddled under her blankets to sleep deeply.

()()()()()()

 

It seemed her eyes had only just closed when she was hearing a knocking sound, groaning she grasped the knife under her pillow and sat up. “Who is it?”

 

“Leliana wants you in the war room.” Message delivered she heard the footsteps pass away again. With no window there was no indication of how late it was, but it hardly mattered. Wiping her skin down with a rag and water from her waterskin she dressed swiftly. Because Tavaiya did not feel like fighting the curls, she let them be, falling in various ringlets and waves loose to her waist as she walked out.

 

The war room was of course, full.

 

Not caring in the slightest if there was an actual birds nest in her hair or not, she entered with a nod to Leliana and found a space to stand amongst the other spies and rogues. It was a very blatant challenge, with her hair down and the other reason she had just let it be. No few eyes trailed over her body, cataloging hidden weapons and how little of her skin was exposed. In their career, it was like a warrior who wore full armor not keeping their hair up. For a warrior it could snag in the metal. For a rogue it was a hand hold, a distraction in the owner's eyes. A liability.

 

She may have answered Leliana's summons but she was proudly challenging her right, or anyone there, to command her. Providing a chance with her hair loose.

 

There was a silence, and then the Nightingale started her tale. Happenings in Val royuex, rumors, discussions of whom to keep an eye out for. All were briefed, and then one by one sent off with missions.

 

In the end it was just Leliana and Tavaiya.

 

“The Herald will be taking a few to Val Royuex. Likely you will be going. I wish to update you on the current situations there in more..opulent...settings. If you have the chance to slip in and gather, or follow the Herald if he's invited to any situations I do not wish you ill prepared.”

 

Tavaiya's eyes narrowed. “I'm not putting on gold dust and ribbons..” She warned Leliana and stepped forward. The Nightingale's eyes went sharp.

()()()()()

 

Leliana knew getting Tavaiya to agree was going to take negotiations. She'd hoped in calling her after just five hours of rest would have her a little off her guard, a little less sharp. Instead it seemed she was more so, on edge and ready to snarl and bare her teeth. It was something to take note of for next time. She'd been certain from Harding's report that Tavaiya was more than eager for a few saboteur positions but perhaps not. It was so difficult working with those who were too skilled to be bought out right.

The only bit of hope the former bard really had was that Cassandra assured her they had grown close, and if anything Tam and Tavaiya had taken to constantly exchanging stories through the day and hushed words. Of course, Cassandra thought they may be interested in each other the great romantic that she was, but it was highly unlikely to be more than familiarity between the two elves.

 

“I have no direct approach that would require that.” This time. The undercurrent was easily read and she watched as Tavaiya held utterly still. Save for the occasional blink and faintest movement of her breathing.

 

“I am listening.”

 

“Tavaiya, at this stage many will likely approach the Herald with offers and false pretense. I don't dare send him into the midst of this without someone in the shadows who understands the way these things work and I would prefer you stay unpainted for now.” Leliana's lips twisted at that blatant lie. She wanted to shove the elf into a dress and frippery and ship her off to the various lands to writhe and tease her way into getting them to fall in line but it wasn't going to happen. Unfortunately. “But if he goes to situations he has no comprehension of, you can slip behind. Warn him of his words, guide him.”

 

Make certain no one poisons him in the middle of the street eating a tiny cake or the like.

 

It happened. Frequently. Indeed the sheer love of the tiny desserts was how simple it was to kill someone by ensuring the right dose to activate later. Gorging oneself to death was an entirely different thing in Orleisan culture.

 

“If he takes me.”

 

It was the best she was going to get without bribery and one didn't extend a hand to a wild creature without getting bitten. Leliana just nodded. Now she just had to plan how to get Tam to insist he was taking her along..

()()()()()

 

Tam of course, had come to the conclusion during their stay in the Hinterlands that even if she had to leave at times to go do 'rogue stuff' that keeping the only elf who didn't look down on him nearby was a plus. He was also fully able to admit something of an interest in the older woman, though it was not one he took seriously. More, he just enjoyed her teasing, that she even felt comfortable doing so. Being the First in clan Lavellan often meant feeling a bit apart from everyone. Being the Herald had tripled that and the amount of elves here was less than a handful. Tavaiya was wild and fey to him, sometimes seeming far more like one of the humans than an elf, and then she'd do things like take him aside to show him how to tell different animal tracks from each other. Away from the rest of the party to spare his pride.

 

These are lessons he never gained, being too absorbed in his magic. Varric was easy to befriend and a fountain of wild stories and many of them confusing. Solas made him feel like when he was first presented, at barely eight years old, to the clan gathering as the newest mage amongst the Dalish. When he'd been frowned over, warned, and never was able to enjoy the jovial atmosphere that so many of the other gathered clan members did. For Tam it had all been one immense series of lessons, and having firmly established guidelines placed upon him.

 

There had been one other thing, traditionally only smaller groups went out to keep from overwhelming the local populace. Indeed Cassandra and Leliana had insisted it be no more than four when he was first to set out for the Hinterlands. That had not stayed true, he'd wanted Tavaiya to join them, and after he saw the difference one extra person made he was happy to chuck out the shem's idea of only four party members. Yes it meant they drew more attention, likely could only camp as trying to get rooms somewhere was harder the more people you had. They consumed more rations, everything. But only a handful of times had Solas needed to heal anyone in the party and it was generally Tam for being so inexperienced in battle. Trying to master new aspects of his powers was often damaging to him and others, and while Cassandra and Tavaiya didn't seem to _mind_ them using magic, both of the women had turned down healing for poultices and potions.

 

Really, just one additional person had made such a difference that if they could have convinced any of the soldier's to go with them Tam would be taking them too. Let it be a small army, it wasn't like you couldn't spot his strangely glowing hand a mile away!

 

So when Leliana approached him asking about taking members of his party, he put on his best oblivious child expression that had driven the Keeper crazy.

 

“Well of course I'm taking them. We work well as a group. Besides, we're three of us elves..we can double up on horseback if need be!” He wasn't quite as pathetic as people tended to think of him as, he just had a lot of trouble understanding the complexities humans seemed to enjoy in their interactions. Really, they had far too much in the way of pointless speech.

 

Tam went first to Varric, knowing the dwarf probably wanted a break and just told him they'd leave within three days. Long enough to wash up and have materials and armor mended and restocked. Cassandra only gave him a curt nod, he could not find Solas. Anywhere. Grumbling he set out to gather herbs. If he didn't get them himself to have someone make healing items with, no one would.

 

He didn't actually get a chance to ask Solas if he would go along until the next afternoon when the older male approached him at the practice ground Tam had claimed to work on his spells. The advice, while rankling him to broaden his horizons of just fire and lightning, had still been good.

 

“Here..” Solas adjusted how he held his staff and swept it out in slow motion. “You are too stiff. You currently point, slash, and repeat. That gives you openings that will be used against you in battle. Instead, try to always be in motion. Always be able to bring your staff back to deflect, guard.”

 

“How do you do that without getting tired?” Tam groaned, his arms already ached from spinning his staff around. Solas just chuckled.

 

“Practice, da'len.”

 

“Right. Practice.” Tam sighed and tried again, his motions tighter, smaller, and less fluid than Solas but somehow the hahren made it seem like he was just spinning air, not his actual weapon that weighed a good bit. Elves had slim frames, and he had noticed that Solas had more muscle than he was used to seeing on any elf who was not one of their hunters. Perhaps there was something to mixing the two? He'd ask Tavaiya, while a shem, her friend Elan had done both he remembered her mentioning and it was far less embarrassing to go ask the rogue.

His feet were suddenly swept out from under him and he hit the snow. Tam came up spluttering only to see Solas looking down, a calm expression on his face.

 

“You should never cease focusing when casting. It could prove most disastrous for all of those around you, da'len. A clever opponent will then need do little to use your..distractions..against you.”

 

Tam grimaced but nodded, scrambling back up anything but gracefully. Briefly, though he didn't make it obvious as he went to grab his staff he thought he saw someone..

 

Waiting until Solas was off adjusting the target dummy for them to work on Tam learning to throw a barrier he looked up..and grinned, waving a bit as he managed to barely spot Tavaiya up in a tree. She waved back, before seeming to pull a book up. Well he couldn't fault her, though going up was certainly a new method. At least she was wrapped in a thick looking cloak, he may have missed her even with his eyesight if not for the tumbling mass of curls standing out against the gray and white branches.

 

Hoping that Solas didn't notice the lapse in his concentration, Tam turned back to the lesson.

 

Only it turned out much later that barriers were certainly _**Not**_ going to be something he focused on.

 

“Offense as your only form of defense then, it seems..” Solas sighed. Tam really couldn't feel embarrassed and grinned. That last fire barrier he'd made on accident was actually pretty impressive..and if he could figure out how to do that again, tossing that out at a group of enemies would only be useful.

 

“Solas, I meant to ask you..for this..going to..”

 

“You wish me to accompany you, herald?” Solas asked and then nodded. “As you prefer. Are we riding or walking?”

 

“Riding.”

 

“Very well. How long until we depart?”

 

Tam tried to not look like he was tempted to hit Solas with a snowball right then. It was plain strange how something of a hermit apostate, by Solas's own words, often took control of the entire conversation or deciding things. He'd let it seem like Tam was the one doing it, but then again it was something the Keeper had always done. He recognized it being done, and that arguing or pointing it out would do him no good in the long run. It just made it smart all the more when he'd say 'da'len' with that tone.

 

“Two days now. I was going to tell you yesterday but I couldn't find you.”

 

“I was off gathering plants.” Solas said, his attention now on the staff he held, as if debating exchanging it in light of their updated travel plans. “Considering you are now wishing us to be off again; and that most likely you shall be having the Seeker and rogue accompany us with the dwarf..?” A glance, Tam nodded.

 

“They are.”

 

“Hm. Unusual, taking such a group but not precisely ill advised. Regardless, neither of the women is particularly willing to be healed by magical methods and so if you can convince the alchemist to part with any more of his rather unimpressive stores it can only serve us later on.”

 

“Oh...” Tam blinked. “Yeah I still have to actually ask Tavaiya.”

 

There was a faint chuckle from Solas at his confession. “Do let me know if she refuses, it would save me crafting more poultices.”

 

“She won't.” Tam didn't hesitate and yet at the older elf's raised brow he found himself shifting from foot to foot, like a chastised child. It really was odd how he could draw that response out of him. “Tavaiya's not like that.”

 

“It would do you good to remember that she is a rogue, da'len. Often they have no loyalty save to coin or their own agenda's.”

 

“Elan.” Tam said, chin lifted as he met Solas's gaze. They had heard tales, the way her eyes would light up and then dim and the animation the woman got speaking of her friend. “She served as his bodyguard. I can guarantee it wasn't for coin, she's not like that.”

 

“While I applaud your support of those with you, Herald it would be best to remember people are so rarely as ...charitable..as your tales would lead you to believe. Even if she was so inclined would you truly wish to merely be the replacement for another, a human no less?”

 

Tam scowled, and then turned, looking, but Tavaiya was no longer in her spot. If she'd been there for the conversation he didn't know.

 

“You know..if there's a real reason you have to be suspicious of her, or not like her, I wish you'd just tell me, hahren.” Tam finally said. “Not that it makes sense, you seemed to enjoy talking to her.”

 

“I enjoy speaking on the Fade and experiences I have had in walking it. Whom it is to is hardly the point.”

 

Tam bit his upper lip as he watched the trees. Thinking that over.

 

“Is it because she doesn't have magic?” He finally asked Solas, but he didn't feel comfortable looking at the other mage to see the answer. “She seems curious about it but you have more experience with outsiders than I do..do you think I need to worry?” Tam looked down, the idea that maybe despite her stories that part of Tavaiya was scared of him, of any mage, was a real possibility and he had to accept it. Why else did she shy away from being healed magically and sometimes after a fight no matter how at ease she was with the spells in the rush of battle, when he and Solas had been casting almost to their end it rarely was long before she slipped off to go handle a few of her other tasks. Not all of those had been to try and find something to add to their meals later on or new places on the map.

 

“I have found those without magic, are often unpredictable.” Was Solas's calm response.

 

Tam just nodded. Well, until he was given a reason to think otherwise he was going to take everyone at their face value. The world was cracking with a giant green hole in the sky and his hand, he couldn't really turn aside any allies at this point.

()()()()

Tavaiya found she enjoyed watching Solas.

 

This wasn't particularly striking, for all she didn't indulge in affairs Tavaiya had always appreciated intelligence and wit, and she didn't know any with warm blood still coursing in their veins who didn't profoundly enjoying ogling the forms of their preference. Solas was silent, wary, watchful. His power alternated between the honey wine and hoarfrost and the crackle and distant drum beats depending on if he was feeling at rest, or actively casting.

 

His countenance, perhaps, would be better served with hair but she found it negligible. As it was nothing distracted from the jaw and cheekbones that he held, giving him a sort of regal aura. For a humble apostate he held far more dignity in the lift of a brow than she remembered in the gilded masks of Orlais.

 

This was new.

 

The hunger.

 

Oh Tavaiya had known _**want**_ _._ Never enough to consider acting on. Until now, save a few heated kisses and grasping hands that had swiftly cooled of her interest there had yet to be anything to the rushing of her blood be it after battle or some random mental imagery that sent her pulse racing. She took care of her own needs if the biological demand became too great after too long but it was just that, like filling her stomach when hungry. A need, a pleasant chore to handle before one could resume regular activity.

 

For the first time it wasn't just some shadowy figure she entertained what if ideas over. The interesting part of her wandering thoughts was fairly broad in knowledge even though she was untouched, despite all her words and flirtations and comfort in her sensuality..she simply had never taken a lover. She didn't know which of her fantasies now suddenly with an actual basis in a real form would actually appeal to her if they were to become reality. There were acts that she'd always sneered at or rolled her eyes that now gave her pause. Considering.

 

It was the most peculiar sensation, Tavaiya decided, to come into the flush of desire for the first time in this way at nearly three decades.

 

Her lips curved in amusement though as she watched Solas instruct Tam from where she was nestled at ease in the branches of the tree overlooking Haven a book dangling in her grasp.

 

Demanding tastes she had it seemed. Power that grasped more than one of her senses, a mind that was sharper than her beloved blades and swifter than any arrow. Grace and arrogance confined in a lithe form..barely that much taller than her own. Clad in rough garb. Unassuming.

 

Tavaiya swallowed and let her gaze trail over him anyways, the feeling of honey wine in her mouth and the ever present hoarfrost that sparked her senses with a cold the true snow around them could not match.

 

It was a pity, Tavaiya finally conceded, that she could not properly dream. She'd have enjoyed seeing and _**feeling**_ what her mind could have fabricated of the elven apostate.

 

After a time Tam caught sight of her and waved, a gesture she returned before slipping away. She'd rather her...observations..remained unknown for now. Otherwise who knew how smug the apostate would become.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

The chantry in Haven was full of little alcoves and hidden rooms. It was a strange building to say the least, one that had been built and rebuilt so many times it was likely four times the size it appeared to be if you could find the way to access the different rooms and levels. One of them was a oft forgotten library full of nothing but personal writings from many years prior. Including the never spoken of cult that had originally been found at Haven when the Warden Commander had first traipsed through. Some of those villagers had taken to writing things down, a sort of penance.

 

This was the room to go to if you didn't wish anyone to find you. An all but forgotten archive.

 

“You're hiding.” It was soft voice. Even. Unlike the speaker's general tones this was the rich timbre of the man who had been a brother to the chant, not a high ranking fool who fell into corruption and politics. Roderick was an unpopular man, to say the least. Much of Haven disliked the Chantry leader and the remarks of Roder-Dick were well spread. Indeed he was something of a doomsayer but though he was...against..the herald, putting it mildly, he had not chased Tavaiya away from the chantry's library. Indeed in this tiny forgotten room with only the light of the lit lantern in the corner, it seemed he left much behind in the halls.

 

“I am.” Tavaiya agreed and closed the tome she had been looking through. It was a worn thing, less hymns and history than it was a personal journal. There were many of those from the various devout souls in all the chantry's of Thedas. Sometimes, there was true bits of wisdom hidden within. That the brothers and sisters of the chantry were often the only educated ones found outside the nobility was common sense. Tavaiya had learned not to sneer at any source of information. No matter how much she had to read the chant of light. The tales here though, of those souls led astray by a cult were often more raw and fascinating to her. The same strange pull to look upon a scene of tragedy often had her cracking open these tales in their unsteady written letters.

 

“Why?” Roderick steepled his hands, watching her quietly. He was not opposed to the presence of the rogue, for she may have not been one of the faithful but at least she did not see it beneath her to assist in sweeping and tending the chantry when asked. Indeed, often if she was restless he had started to see her seeking solace, and perhaps avoiding the eyes of some of the Herald's most favored party members, within the walls. And she had information he was always..curious on.

 

“I don't know. I'm restless but not to leave Haven. Perhaps it is just that there are too many soldiers, too few females and elves..and to seek out Tam means a great deal of attention.” The elf replied, setting the journal back and turning to give her full attention. Not for the first time, Roderick watched as her body language shifted towards attentive. Her disdain, casual not sneering, of the chant was hardly new. Still she had granted him more respect for his age than even the Seeker and Nightingale, both having been firmly in the pocket of the last divine, did. His age, his experience, when tempered away from the repetition of the chant and his ego, would be listened to. It allowed Roderick to be a different elder to the knife ear and it was not unwelcome. It made him feel like there were no adornments save the Maker's sun upon his robe and his hair was not yet grayed. Back when trying to help others find their own way into the chant's illumination had been the pinnacle of his delight.

 

“...Are you still willing to explain further, the aberrations of your..former employer?” Roderick asked as he seated himself in one of the hard wooden chairs in the room. There was a pause, a measuring look..and once more he felt the frisson of fear crawling up his spine. There was something to the tilt of her head, the clearness of her gaze that told him this rogue _knew_ of what he did not speak.

 

Despite that fear though, since it stayed unvoiced it was almost a lessening of the yoke upon his frail shoulders. For that alone Roderick was willing to seek out the elusive rogue when she haunted the halls of the dismal chantry in Haven. That, and the chance he could somehow bring her to see the light or at least hear the chant echo in her own heart. That was always a worthy goal.

 

“Very well.” Tavaiya leaned against the cold stone of the wall and crossed her arms. Her voice was detached, soft, even. “Elan was a weak mage as I had mentioned. He did not have much in the way of tempting dreams, for though he would be a conduit it apparently was not a welcome one even for demons. The common thought is that any mage would be eagerly hounded by a vast array of the horrors but it seems much as we may turn up our noses at the spoiled and maggot ridden meals even upon all but the most ardent of starvation, so too did the demons to a weak mage. Perhaps they feared being trapped, separation from their own powers. I am no mage so I cannot fathom the reasoning..”

 

Tavaiya paused.

 

“Please.”

 

She chuckled and continued. A part of her mind wondered just how little any outside of the room would believe that this man who so often spewed vitriol was willing to listen to her, to her speak of a non devout Andrastian mage and the frankly sacrilegious words that she had repeated so often to him. Roderick was not fooling her, but she had no gain at this time for exposing him. He probably felt he was doing her a service, a confessional of sorts in telling of how she had aided and abetted two apostates until this date.

 

The faintest scent of currants, like a young port wine, betrayed him. Roderick was a truly weak mage. The sort who maybe would struggle even to snap up a light in a dark room but still aware of the pressure of the fade. Likely he came into awareness very late and saw in his pious twisted nature a better use serving the chant of light than in bowing to a circle where he would be fortunate if considered even useful enough to render tranquil. It _should_ be impossible for her to know he was magical, so she once more ran over the truths of her mother and Elan. How Elan never drew attention from demons really because he wasn't desirable. How though he learned control and mastery over the cup of magic he held it was in the more physical he pursued action. The few snippets of wisdom her mother had actually shared about the training a Keeper and the first and second may have undergone were much more fragmented but that too she spoke of.

 

Being owed a favor by a man like Roderick, and having a secret to blackmail him with could only be useful. In the interim, until she needed such leverage, there were worse things than bringing comfort to an old man. Eventually she took a seat in the other chair, and Roderick was content to answer her questions on the discrepancies in the various versions of the chant and how it may have come about. It was in the end, History.

 

()()()()()()()()(()

  
Tam found her that evening as she was heading into the Tavern. He did not hesitate to grab Tavaiya's arm, she'd flicked her eyes over him so it wasn't as if he was startling her. He knew better than to do that, ending up on his back with a knife at his throat was hardly pleasant. “I want you to come with us to Val ...” He trailed off, hating how badly he butchered the Orleisian words and felt his shoulders sag in relief as she just nodded.

 

“Okay.”

 

In the end it was that easy. The difference from asking Solas did not escape Tam. Indeed it brought a grin to his marked face. Where one had all but controlled the conversation and twisted it around so it felt as if he was begging a favor, the other simply yielded. There was no price, perhaps other advantages for Tavaiya but no price, no games. It was sorely missed frankness that Tam adored her all the more for utilizing. Dancing around others and preventing from stepping on their egos was tricky enough. For the rest of the evening he sat at the tavern and drank lightly, listening to Varric's spun tales to an eager audience. Never once did Tavaiya leave his side, and there was just a comfort to her presence that let him feel like Tam. Only Tam of Clan Lavellan, once again. Not the Herald, not someone with a glowing green hand surrounded by shemlen and those whom only a short while ago would have happily heaped verbal and physical abuse towards his kind without separation of him from the group. It often took all he had not to lean into Tavaiya or take her hand.

 

He settled for drinking beside her and feeling the comfort of knowing he was not the only elf there.

()()()()()

 

Solas was the first to the stable in the morning. It took very little time to have their mounts ready, and it was indeed a relief to be riding not walking the distance. Though she had not been seen much in Haven, the rogue that Tam so ardently involved in everything did not appear to be suffering from 'light sickness' again and was all teasing smiles and banter. Periodically she'd break out into songs, most in Orleisian but one or two he recognized as Antivan.

 

“Do you speak that language as well, then?” Solas found himself asking. He wasn't precisely certain of when his mount had so easily caught up to her own, used to being entirely on the tail end of the expedition. Tam was up talking with Varric, all eager hand motions and drawing yet another overly fanciful commentary from the dwarf.

 

“Not so well as I would like. Language lets me blend, stay unnoticed so I learn the common phrases and songs, middle class and lower first.” Tavaiya's eyes locked on his own and he dipped his head. Indeed, he wondered if she had such a mastery of the accented terms of ancient Elvehnan as to this point even his knowledge of Orlais and Antiva had been unable to detect a burr in her accents when she used them.

 

“You speak three languages then?”

 

“And a smattering of what the Dalish think they know.” She agreed with a grin reminding him of her meandering tale, shared weeks ago about how she felt their information was distorted in time.

 

“No doubt with as much grace as they manage..”

 

“Not at all then?”

 

Solas found himself smirking at her, but her casual dismissal of the scraps of knowledge being hallowed to points that the dalish revered everything backwards, was in turn frustration and relief.

 

“From being able to hear such words spoken, properly, in the Fade it is not only the pronunciation but the very cadence of the grammar that has changed. The terms. The variation in the way it is spoken. Rough translations would make the scraps preserved seem more like the early prattle of children unable to crawl instead of the lyrical words. Elvhen was meant to be spoken and pieced together with ones own knowledge, to bridge the gap of conversation. It was to the sentences kept what sarcasm is to the simpleton's terms. There is no knowledge without intelligence to glean between.”

 

He paused then, certain he was about to be asked for examples and dreading them. It was giving a peerless vintage wine to a farmer who had never known anything but his own home brewed ale, all the subtleties and nuances lost and ever repetition only all the more dulled into nothing more than mere words. Tam hounded after him, ever the proverbial dog and wolf that would amuse the First far too much if he knew. He did not expect the rogue to humm and then nod.

 

“I would do more harm than good to learn then. Without knowing enough of the views of culture, reasoning, what was considered important..it would be calling a flower yellow petals instead of daffodil or knowing the difference in a rose as symbolism. Yes?”

 

“Exceptionally astute of you.”

 

“It's a great pity then, to be unable to witness so much of the Fade as you have.” Those blue eyes met his own and the sly smile was absent, instead it was true wistfulness. Hidden to a great deal but the softness around her eyes and the tilt of her shoulders betrayed the rogue as much as the quiet of her tone. “It must be like having the most immense library at your fingertips and no worries of mistranslations..”

 

“You are a lover of the written word then?”

 

“Oh..” Tavaiya laughed and grinned, but her ears were a vibrant pink even if her cheeks stayed unblemished. Curious. She had taught herself not to blush. There was only so much one could do about elven biology however. “It was the first thing I learned. Reading in other languages, then to pronounce it. I often mistake how to do so for it because I am one to delve into the elder texts when knowledge was hard won and precious. I'm under no illusions that I am exceptionally fortunate to have been afforded an education, Solas.”

 

And it was the truth. Even in ancient Arlathan the slaves were not taught to read, not truly. They knew only what was needed, many of the well to do and warriors did not bother with it, only those who sought knowledge for it's own sake, who delighted in wisdom and pursuits of the mind had been educated. When magic came as easy as breath and great feats were instinct, what need had one to record? That was where the sculptures and arts came into play. One would spend a century or two in discussion over subjects not write them down and be unable to give examples and tales. It was a sign of the quickened lives that they needed to write down such information because their masters would otherwise be lost long before their spiritual successors emerged from the womb.

 

Solas felt fear then as she hummed. He had spoken that aloud. Swiftly he reviewed his words and slowly relaxed. Nothing damning had been revealed and 'learned it in the Fade' was often forgiven as first person experience. Still, his comfort in telling her such things troubled him.

 

More, he greatly disliked how easily telling her came because she did not argue and judge but listen, and then let his secrets remain still without disturbing the waters. She did not test if the surface hid only a shallow pond or the deepest fathoms of the ocean. It was less her being unaware of the obvious trails and more a deliberate lack of pursuit. It made the rogue..strange.

 

Sighing Solas tried tackling the topic head first in an attempt to see why she side stepped so easily, to reveal a trick of her mental process. “You do not seem to press for further answers when I tell you things.”

 

“You enjoy telling me of your experiences, you love the Fade and your history. If it was something you wished to speak of you would, I see no reason to pester you when I am grateful for what you are willing to tell me. The last time I pleaded you avoided me for a time.”

 

Solas raked his gaze over her but she was looking ahead, eyes flitting about and it was a common enough sight now he thought nothing of it. It had certainly been proven that Tavaiya was an asset to have among them. Even in the back of the line she often detected cues that had them prepared long before any should have an inkling of upcoming battles.

  
“I was not aware you so valued my tales.”

 

Now her eyes locked with him and that predator he had not glimpsed in weeks shifted. So often it slumbered deep within her, save in battle. It had made Solas more wary and seeing it back out was something familiar. This was an old game he knew to play. Circling adversaries.

 

Her lips twisted into a smirk.

 

“You know. You just don't particularly like me. A willing ear is the best of my faults to your perception.”

 

“The capabilities you have proven to avoid ambush are not to be forgotten.” He said but it was an agreement.

 

“Do you suspect me so greatly of being against you, and Tam, for your magic?”

 

Solas gave the question thought. Was he wary of the woman? Immensely. He cautioned the Herald to be the same because she had no magic but she was so familiar with it that for some reason he saw it as that most twisted series of arts he had once seen. There had been attempts back in Tevinter before Shartan rose up for mages to have their power stolen. It had never worked, but he had never properly trusted those without a connection to the fade since.

 

“Yes.” He finally answered and heard her humming.

 

“I have spent my life around mages, weak though they are. I have no magic, I never shall. I do not understand it but the difference from the layperson is I feel no need to. I do not see every mage as a potential abomination..though we did certainly see how much I loathed them..” And that was the crux of it. When he had first wondered if she wasn't a danger. When her ruthlessness had reached a new fervor before his eyes and it had clearly startled her when regarding the aftermath.

 

“Your magic is a tool. A part of you.” She shrugged. “My body, my weapons, my mind..these are my tools. The difference is only that my blades can be more easily stripped off of me. Yet this does not make me a potential serial murderer of the innocent any more than your using magic as the tool of choice to bend reality to your needs and desires does render you an abomination. I am willing to trust in your strength of will to not falter in such a way and then put it from my thoughts as a possibility.”

 

Truth rang in her words and Solas inclined his head. He would not apologize but he would acknowledge her reasoning.

 

“You avoid healing.”

 

“It seems a waste of mana.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Poultices and potions have to this point more than sufficed as much as a good meal and rest.”

 

“Convenient.” He had not misread her, he knew this. She did not want his magic to heal her and until then he would remain suspicious.

 

The woman locked eyes with him again and smirked. “By all means than, Solas...work your magic on me when you feel so driven. Though I've no doubt the build up in your mind is far more exciting than reality.” She laughed then at her play on terms and Solas felt his own lips curve in a smirk. She deflected it easily, but permission was still given.

 

The next time she so much as had a scrape, he would indeed take her up on that and settle his doubts. He had too many unaccounted for events already without her creating more.

 

()()()()()

 

She was an idiot. The moment her flirtatious consensual agreement to being healed was out Tavaiya wanted to hit herself. She did not wish to know what Solas's hoarfrost was like on a more aware level. She did not wish to drown in the taste of honeywine which she already found to be overlaying her palate most days. Usually Tavaiya began to adjust to the senses brought on by others and was able to ignore them like a well worn shirt, not something you felt against your skin unless you focused on it. Solas's magic though poured out of him even restrained as it was and she never seemed to be rid of it. She'd taken to wearing an extra layer under her jerkin because of the constant prickle of hoarfrost when near his company.

 

Tavaiya recognized the warning signs, though these were far stronger than with Elan. It was why she hadn't wished for him to heal or cast a barrier on her, once her body knew the pattern to his magic it would seek him out. She spent too long living in tandem with a mage to not feel the loss of ever present magic and though Tam was far more her usual. One could not ignore Solas.

 

Well, there was no help for it. She would learn, and adapt as a good rogue did.

()()()()()

 

It took two days before they were almost at Val Royuex and the bandits descended upon them in such an immense wave that it was clearly a leak in Leliana's lines and someone had prepared the ambush.

 

Spells were flung, weapons flashed, throats slit and arrows fired. There was no art, but a clumsy series of long drawn out events that left Tam and Solas wearied, Cassandra leaning on her weapon, Varric grumbling as he gathered arrows.

 

And a frowning Tavaiya who shook her head and dragged off one who lived with a curt bark of 'Don't follow. And don't come when you hear the screams.”

 

Tam had paled at that. It had nothing on when she came back thirty long minutes later and there was new blood on her face, her hands wiping off her blade as she sighed. “We should press on immediately. There was a bounty put out. It's not safe to camp.”

 

“We ride then. Fast.” Cassandra agreed and the lot was on the move. Rarely was Tam not consulted, but in this Cassandra would not have budged so they all stayed silent.

 

Solas didn't miss the way the rogue was reaching towards her side at times as they rode and during a single stop to pass out rations gulp down food and stretch legs, he tied his mount and walked beside her.

 

“You are injured.” He did give her privacy in keeping his voice low. Tavaiya's eyes cut over to Solas and slowly she nodded her agreement.

 

“Bruising. No time to strip enough to apply anything.”

 

Solas lifted his fingers, a challenge in his eyebrow. It reminded her of the dare back in the Hinterlands. That same coil of hoarfrost around her made Tavaiya's eyes drop.

 

So it came to this. He waited to see what she would do. Whether her word was of any worth.

()()()()()

 

“If you have the energy to spare, please.” The plea was gentle, not begging but simply a request. Certainly there was no trace of fear, reluctance yes but he could pass that off easily. The moment of truth upon him Solas placed his hand against her ribs, though layers of leather and cloth separated him from her injury the probing of his magic found it easily. Truly, that she'd stayed silent with the crack in one rib and the heavy bruising along most her side was impressive. She'd apparently taken a bad hit from a shield, probably when going in for a coup de grace and considered it worth the risk. Not a flinch was evident as his magic, and he used a bit more than needed so it would glow just a touch brighter, be more palpable to her, yet if anything she sighed in relief. As any would.

 

Solas began to pull his powers back and then paused. For a second it had almost seemed like an echoing vibration but his eyes blurred and he mumbled a curse. Downing a mouthful of Lyrium he shook his head. Clearly he had not judged his weakened abilities as well as he thought. “Better?”

 

“Thank you.” And Tavaiya chuckled then, before giving him a slow lazy smile, one that was all promises that hinted at exertion and long limbs bared. There was a slight roll of her neck on her shoulders as she stretched, if not in armor it would have been a languid movement meant to tease, perhaps invite. “You've quite the touch, Solas.”

 

He rolled his eyes at her childishness even as he fought a smile at the terribly joking tease, he had learned by now she never meant any of it. Still, his worries had lessened a good deal. Granting her a nod he then gulped down some water before they mounted once more and set off again at the fastest pace they dared.

()()()()()()

 

Tavaiya couldn't tell how relieved she was they were riding hard, in the dark of night. Because she still felt the drumbeat in time to her pulse, the crackle of his power had electrified her nerves and made the back of her head feel like someone had just let off a blaze. Her awareness had shifted.

 

Honeywine and hoarfrost had eased up and now there was the constant knowledge of his drumming power, in cadence with the anchor Tam carried. There was a mystery there, perhaps just fade magic, but she resolutely turned her thoughts aside from it.

 

The drums were changing the rhythm of her pulse. Only slightly. It was a little longer now, a little slower. She'd have never noticed it if she was anyone else. Passed it off as a side effect of being healed, a real one that would fade in time. She knew better.

 

What sort of power did the apostate have that only an incidental healing made her strange other sense start to alter her awareness of him yet again? It was as if she was discovering a sense she did not have before..feeling a secondary nervous system that only related to her other senses, regarding mana. Her fingers tingled and she didn't dare down one of her vials to dull her senses, not after the ambush. But the very first chance she had she would be doing just that.

()()()()()()()

 

Val Royuex was a cluster fuck.

 

There was a grandstanding cleric, A rude Lord Seeker who treated Cassandra like a leper. At some point she was only too relieved when Tam insisted they divide and conquer and she just needed a nap. A long one.

 

“Tavaiya you..”

 

“I'm going to go see if I can't make some connections, Tam.” She interrupted. “Trust me, it's worth it.”

 

There was a lot of doubt sent her way but the rogue just shrugged. “This I am good at. Don't do anything stupid, don't agree to anything, and meet me at that stupidly expensive place you booked for the night. I will be back long before evening falls. I suggest you do the same.” She flickered her fingertips over the curve of her ear as an example. Solas and Tam both caught the motion and while Solas's eyes went cold and he nodded, Tam frowned. It didn't matter, she'd just warned them that being elves here was dangerous after hours.

 

“Where are you going?” Varric asked as he looked curious. “I wouldn't even know where to begin in a place like this.”

 

“Alienage.” She answered and grinned. “Most elves in Orlais are thieves, in Antiva they are assassins. They still live in the Alienage and I've spent enough time bunking with them, that going and telling Elan has died will get me some tongues wagging.”

 

Varric frowned. His gaze serious as his fingers moved in a clumsy rogue's language. It was dreadfully out of favor because while it could be learned you had to know the person well enough to interpret what they were saying. Not so unlike what Solas claimed of ancient Elvhen.

 

'You will be okay without backup?'

 

Her own fingers flew in the patterns, twisting and dipping and making them seem more like two fish wives bickering over the cost of an old trout. 'Very suspicious group. Only elves and with these two they'd draw attention.'

 

Varric snorted a laugh. 'Savage and sneering? No!' What he signed was more like rabid and constipated but that was where interpretation helped.

 

Tavaiya chuckled. “I'll be fine. Meet you back in the room. Let me know which by cracking the window or leaving a mark?” Varric nodded and Tavaiya waved to the others before turning and slipping into an alley.

 

The underbelly awaited her.

()()()()()

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

AN: You can probably guess the cliffhangers in here I was going to stop this chapter on. But then it just kept going. None of this was planned. I blame Solas and Tavaiya.

()()()()()()()

 

Val Royeaux was a glistening masterpiece on the surface. Carved ivory and gilded tiles within the very ground even at the back alleys. The magnificence of the city -skin deep though it remained- only went in the back areas and shadows for as long as the ground was tread by humans. Once you passed a certain location, the tiles would switch to stamped clay, oft broken and rarely replaced. A subtle cruelty to those who kept their feet unshod.

 

The art and architecture of Val Royeaux was meant to draw the eye in ever shifting patterns. Upwards and to the side, to linger on a perfectly done trellis whose carvings and painted lines would be obscured just so by climbing roses. The plant snipped daily by a servant so that only the parts of the artwork 'accidentally' revealed would seem a coy dismissal of obvious wealth. _**What, this old thing?**_ It would cry out.

 

Numerous stained and painted glass windows covered the streets, so that anywhere you went someone would have eyes upon you. Hidden behind their masks the lips of Orlesian's gossiped freely and so no true rogue with slanted ears would ever stroll the passageways as their heavier built denizen's did artlessly.

 

Tavaiya had taken to the rooftops. There were sewers and carved tunnels of course, warrens and labyrinths for the little rats of the Alienage to get to and fro, some even done on purpose by their human masters so they wouldn't be seen entering the house. That back or side door hidden behind the hedge? Oh no, that was for the _other_ servants. Musn't have it be known you needed common nobodies to work for you.

 

Those underground paths though were often just as watched if not moreso and while someone could always look up, few were willing to launch from building to building or scramble along the perchways. Indeed if you had no fear of heights, or the strength of will to overcome such, the many gargoyles and fixtures set to ornament the tops of the buildings made where Tavaiya could all but leisurely stroll above ground at a comfortable pace. Come darkfall there'd be a careful dance of 'you don't see me I don't see you with your bag' up there but for now it was just herself making use of the skyway.

 

For now, Tavaiya was free to walk and unlace the outer level of her jerkin. Pulling it away and slipping her hand into a carefully created inner pocket at the inner layer where it would not be noticed unless one was examining it was where she kept her private stash of potions. Well padded, with vials that had cost a fortune to have glyphs keeping them from breaking, and between her natural padding around her bust and the wraps, and additional fabric to protect in a fight, it was the best she could do. Two were palmed and downed in rapid succession and Tavaiya stumbled. Leaning against a chimney out of sight as she focused on her breathing.

 

One would have been enough to dull her unnatural senses.

 

Two rendered her almost without her 'other' sense. Finally her pulse sped up to normal, the drumming in her veins faded and while there was a void that clawed at her innards of loss Tavaiya focused on the feel of sun on her face and the acrid scent by the chimney. She focused on her breathing slower and slower until she once again was steadied. Replacing the vials and her layers she then huffed out a sigh.

 

The only real downside to the double dose was she now felt nauseated. Nothing to do for it now however, save to move on.

 

Once almost in the Alienage it was laughably easy to get what she needed to know about where and whom of her contacts were about. All her knives were hidden of course, and at some point on the way she'd passed four copper coins to an urchin who was carrying around a dirty bag of laundry in the alleys just for people who needed a disguise. With an oversized tunic, skirt, rope belt and ratty mask that was one of the generic 'cleaning crew for hire' she didn't even draw a blink from the guards. Just another nobody knife ear.

 

She would of course, be returning the attire when she left or leaving it with someone named 'Rory' at the Alienage orphanage or the keeper of the supper hall. The fee was just to rent it and forgetting to do so would have her face out on the watch by every urchin before she'd swallowed. It was the other reason she couldn't have brought Tam or Solas, they likely would have for different reasons, not been so easy to blend. Solas without his hair, and Tam with his markings.

 

“Bread?” Tavaiya asked as she went into the ratty 'supper hall' that was present. Affording a place with an actual cooking space was impossible in such a crowded Alienage and so there was a central building with an oversized hearth always going. There were crates along one wall and in the coldest of nights all the bodies would pile in, ignoring stench and stifling air to stay warm. The fee would be something to add to the pot, a bit of coin, or wood or charcoal to help feed the fire.

 

Every so often when a noble died the family would toss out the furniture in a pique of 'They had no taste! We must replace Everything!' and the Alienage rats would sneak ornate desks and chairs, beds, all in pieces through the sewers to feed the hearth fire. Those were always fun days, watching something that cost more than your entire Alienage would make if they pooled their wages for a lifetime burning was a tiny bit of revenge.

 

Bread was never actually made there. It was a code.

 

“Got a bit of crust left over, or some with mold if you don't mind it bein cut off.” An older male agreed, his own mask just a plain dark brown with grease stains around the edges from his fingers wearing it into a patina.

 

“Maybe just broth then.” She agreed and slid over a silver. It wasn't an actual coin, instead it was an alloy. A 'collectors toy' rather than one to look like a forgery.

 

His hand covered it and the real silver piece she'd slipped under it when his hand moved. “Got clean bowls in the back. Go get one. If you stay n just have the bread it's back there too. Only a single piece mind.”

 

Tavaiya shared a smile with him and went through the door. The knife against her throat was as expected as the sudden curse and the lips that crashed against her own as the door locked behind her.

()()()()()()

 

There are many kinds of kisses. When you suddenly have a handsome dark haired elf whose hands are bruising your shoulder's as he frantically whispers prayers and curses in turn against lips and cheeks it is all too easy to think it is from a lost lover.

 

No one in the room would have mistaken the reunion as such.

 

“{You live. The conclave..Elan..?}” Came the rich voice, oil and vinegar both in a heady mix that smoothed over her ears in a way that had nothing to do with magic.

 

“{Dead. I was not with him, a show of faith.}”

 

“{Bless his soul to escape the abyss that his action spared you..}” Black eyes locked with hers as his curtain of long black hair fell around them, hands cradling her cheeks. Antivan flowed between them, not the cultured tones of Lady Josephine but the sultry and suggestive ones of the lower ranking Antivans. Cupping her face was one of the crows, one who had known and indeed killed her instructor. In his place he often pulled Tavaiya under his wing and crooned at her. They were not lovers, but he had instructed her years ago on becoming at ease with her sensuality.

 

Damian was too damaged, too full of emotional turmoil to mix friends and lovers as to him a lover was usually a mark. They had an easy intimacy that made no sense to others, kisses and chaste embraces that she had later learned was something of how those raised not in the whore houses, but the crows breeding programs especially, grew up. There was always a female crow who found a reason to bear a son. Or daughter. Perhaps the mark had been someone they then blackmailed, or a valued bloodline to set a crow to take over. Those offspring were never given any option but to become successful crows, and such constant overly tactile contact was important between them. It was the only thing of affection they knew but never going to the level it would be clear that it was that sort of union.

 

It had created a lot of awkward encounters at first but now Tavaiya did not hesitate to run her hands over his hair, to brush her lips against his just as chaste and whisper endearments back. They flew through a litany, calling each other sweets, cursing them in turn, praising their beauty and resilience. It was just how things _were._

 

“{You know of Haven? The Herald?}” Of course he did but Tavaiya would not deny her crow the chance to caw and laugh and so he did. Pulling back just enough that her visage was made clear to the several in the room as he chuckled.

 

“{I hear he is a fool child with the marks of the Dalish upon his face and calls fires to his bidding. You are interlocked? I have limited information for the Nightingale sings around him and any crows who come too close are chased away by the one who would not be caged.}” Damian had immense adoration for Zevran, and Tavaiya had little doubt someday he may even consider looking the other way if he became a Master, should others try to emulate the blonde crow. Damian himself was comfortable clad in his feathers and it took many of his workings and favors to keep her away from the crows in general. Because she was considered one of Damian's contacts however..it worked. Free agents generally needed to be left alone to work, and if Damian asked she had yet to turn away a job he needed.

 

“{He is and a heart too large for his frame. I walk beside him.}” It was a warning and declaration both. Damian tilted his head, humming.

 

“{Come, Jackal, and tell me of the breach. The rifts. Share with me what you know that I may send the missive back to Antiva and I shall see where I can direct you to catch a scent..}”

 

“{Poetic. What do you need of me, personally?}”

 

“{There is to be a soiree..}” As always business went in circles. It turned out there was a party held soon for a Madame De Fur..or at least was the best she could read from Damian's accent. She'd stick to calling her Vivienne unless need be and then just Madame. That next evening. It should have been that night but some important guest was not available and in a power play she changed the actual timing of the event by merely 24 hours. He needed someone who could blend to go, to be passed a message.

 

The easiest way to do so without being caught out, was in a kiss.

 

Tavaiya tilted her head. While she had kissed a woman before, of both elf and human races, it was exceptionally hard for her to pretend to enjoy it. For her there was simply no interest, and Damian knew that better than most because he had been her teacher in learning exactly how the Antivan's got their reputation as kissers without compare. He'd pulled in a few of his friends to teach her as well and often made a game of observing and critiquing. One of the few things she'd learned in true 'crow style'.

 

“{Male?}”

 

Damian gave her a winning smile. “{But of course, no woman has ever made your pulse race though I remember quite a few enjoyed the challenge..and we of course enjoyed the show of you tangled in lips though no clothing slipped. Ah the days.. But no, my wild beauty, he is appealing. Like me.}”

 

Tavaiya shook her head in amusement. So Damian had found another look alike he would be bedding, or had recently been using to take to bed. It meant eventually he needed to kill him for some reason but it was likely years before that contract was to be completed involving utter ruination not just death of someone, and knowing her crow, probably only a means to clean up loose ends. It was not her business. “{I see. You've already selected a dress?}” Another joke between them was that the crow had a good dozen disguises of either gender ready at all times. He actually, as long as he could wear a mask, looked rather stunning in some of the bustle style gowns.

 

“{My darling Jackal, as lovely as your fur is..you do not know fashion.}”

 

Tavaiya just chuckled, but then settled in to exchange smaller gossip. The real meat of what she needed to know, and access through Damian, would come once she'd done this favor for him. She took the dry sewer route back to the alleys that sent her upwards, having left her disguise with Damian and all too easily made it back to the hotel. Varric, bless him, had apparently warned someone that leaving a light on at the entrance she was to use was not a good idea. Instead it was the next room over, likely the bathroom with a dark window cracked to 'let in air'. A casually hanging shirt in the crack to let it dry over the opened window had a pattern she recognized from the dwarf.

 

Fantastic.

 

Bare toes helped her climb the ornamental trellis and soon Tavaiya was slipping in through the window, this time closing it and locking while setting the shirt on a hook nearby. Ensuring she wasn't to slip in the room, she kept her stealth active just because surprising people was one of her joys and went to cross the room, opening the bathroom door without a sound.

 

Right on the sight of the boys changing into something else as if they'd been in some skirmish not long ago.

 

Tavaiya smirked and whistled low, enjoying the view. Only Varric had actually dropped his breeches as well, Tam was apparently still struggling to get his boots off but had removed the robe to just be in his trousers and loose undershirt and Solas was shirtless. Not even remotely hiding her smirk, Tavaiya leaned against the doorway to ogle them. “Truly..don't mind me...”

 

They stilled. Oh there were **definitely** some perks to being a rogue.

 

She waited, grin growing ever wider. Finally Varric burst out into laughter that didn't hide his blush even if he wasn't moving to cover himself. “Like what you see, Secrets?”

 

Tavaiya smirked, twirling her hand. “Only one is on display..a pity..” The obvious 'oh _do_ continue' had Tam hiding behind the couch of all things as if he'd been the nude one. Solas apparently recovered the next soonest and drawled out with a surprising level of dignity.

 

“It seems entirely one sided.”

 

Huh. She had to give the apostate credit, that was both smooth and almost sassy enough to distract her.

 

“I haven't been fighting...what happened?”

 

“If you could ah, wait until we dress?” Tam asked and Tavaiya could easily blame her actions on being around Damian. There was something about the Antivan that always brought out the tease even more. Probably because he was safe, as much as someone literally born and bred a crow could be.

 

“Or I could strip and we could share tales that way? There a place to soak around here in this gilded jewel box?” Tavaiya smirked, clearly implying a central bathing area. Even Solas's ears flushed betraying where his mind went, and if her fingers had moved to fiddle with the laces on her jerkin..it was of _course_ , not intentional.

 

“Tavaiya.no..” Tam choked out.

 

“Glow bug, never try to convince a lady to keep her clothes ON!” Varric grumbled. Solas had shaken his head and simply pulled on a clean shirt. Deprived of all but the dwarf she gave in.

 

“Fine..let me know when you are all recovering your virginal pride? Or need I be looking towards angered families insisting I make amends for sullying you with my lurid gaze?” She laughed and closed the door.

 

When they let her back out Tam still couldn't meet her eyes. Cassandra was back at that time and with a scoff, took Tavaiya's arm and said she'd fill her in so they could get cleaned up as they were apparently meant to do before the little..interruption... There was a proper wash room at the end of the hall and the boys, having come out worse than Cassandra from the skirmish, were to use it first. The hotel was kind enough to provide robes to wear to and from so they could have their garments cleaned and dried.

 

The moment they were locked in their own room because there was no way that the esteemed Seeker would share with men if she did not need to; Cassandra was looking at her with an entertained grin.

 

“You really walked in on them naked?” The voice told Tavaiya that the men had likely made a huge fuss over it. Well, Tam. Solas probably stayed silent and detached and Varric probably had her bursting in with some sordid poetry and leering. An explosion involved somewhere.

  
“Only Varric, Solas had his shirt off. Tam was still dressed which was a good thing being as he's such a kid it seems still..”

 

“And?”

 

Tavaiya snickered. Cassandra was every bit a woman and Tavaiya didn't want to risk that three ears may be pressed to the door and motioned for her to come down so her ear was level with where Tavaiya sat on the couch. “Varric is short but yes he's muscular if you go for that, and Solas is very surprisingly formed for a male elf..you'd think his build that of a warrior.”

 

Cassandra was blushing, not out of interest to either but because of the ideas. They both had blood that ran very hot but generally both the warrior and the rogue found an outlet for it on the battlefield and in the shadows instead. “Oh? You aren't one for muscles?”

 

“I admire ones mind, Cassandra...” Tavaiya drawled. Her lips smirked though remembering the lithe frame, whip cord and steel to Solas. “Though if there's a cold night I may have a new distraction to revisit in the privacy of my room.”

 

Cassandra barked a laugh and shoved her shoulder. The talk swiftly turned to the issues that had arisen with Fiona, meeting the numerous fools errands for the Red Jenny and in the privacy of their room Cassandra was chortling over the lack of breeches for the fight. At some point they went to use the large tub, one washing the other working on their attire, and then swapped. It had plumbing which was truly brilliant, costly, and of course flaunted in Val Royeaux. It would only be in a few rooms, probably just the two wash rooms, one on each floor. In the actual rooms were still chamberpots and basins to hold water.

 

The kitchen perhaps would also have tap and use the drain. Cassandra's wealthy background emerged as she was moaning something about 'proper facilities' and it made Tavaiya chuckle. She couldn't count how many times Elan and her had carried up buckets of water. Though sometimes he'd spoiled her silly and cast fire spells gently on the stones they'd drop in to heat the water in the large tub. Honestly with the effort of lugging the water in and then back out they'd taken to using stones and blocking off a part of the nearby river in a small watering hole that with just a few larger stones shoved out of the way would drain back out. In all but the coldest weather when it rained, it was their favorite place. Elan had seduced a lot of local girls there, but most the time they'd just be there in their smalls and enjoy that aside from servants back in the manor they had run of it. And people wondered why she'd been so happy Elan was a lesser noble. Give her the wilds and freedom, butterflies brushing along her soul and it hadn't mattered if it was cold and muddy.

 

Something inside Tavaiya was easing, the grief becoming bearable and she had no doubt that Cassandra as she oiled her hair and skin after drying off, while Tavaiya set to washing travel out of her locks, was a large part of it. She'd never had a close female friend before. Aware that she'd have to play the part of coquette the next day Tavaiya took greater care than usual to comb out her hair and lightly oil it before restraining it in a tight twisted knot that would allow it to dry in much softer waves. After a hot bath, scented oils and giggling with Cassandra as the two compared scars since the last time they'd scrubbed down with sand and cold river water in the wild, they set about dinner. Cassandra it turned out, had not thought to request it brought to her room and apologized but Tavaiya waived it off. She knew what to do and being an elf would only help.

 

Tavaiya had excused herself to go get wine and food from downstairs, having left her armor for the sake of a loose tunic and leggins, leaving her shoulder and part of her bindings visible. It was a scout's shift and she lived in them under all her gear. You couldn't be picky about sizes when you wanted spares. After her turn in the bath her hair was pulled into a tight knot at the nape of her neck showing flashes of skin that left everything to the imagination while revealing nothing; and it only took a moment, a teasing smile and knowing roll of her eyes to slide a few coins into the pocket of one of the serving elves who passed her a bag full of food and a few bottles of wine. She should have gotten just bread and a lesser vintage, but for pocket money the servant was happy to charge a noble too far in their cups and pass it along. She also told him for breakfast pastries if he made certain they got them fresh and double the amount to the boys room she'd ensure another full pocket.

 

As she went back down her hallway she saw Solas leaving his room.

 

“Snack?” She asked playfully and watched as the apostate blinked.

 

“They are both snoring. I was hoping to find if there was any chamomile in the kitchen.”

 

Tavaiya smiled. “I got an extra bottle of wine which would relax you better. Join us?”

 

“I am not precisely well versed in...'girl talk'..” Solas drawled amused. It was not a no.

 

“Sorry to say, for Cassandra girl talk is mostly discussing weapons and battles.” And oils and perfumes, and old ballads and romance but she'd never betray her friend with that.

 

“That is hardly _enticing_.” Solas had lowered his tone, eyes trailing over the exposed skin and she smirked. Teasing was enjoyable and the dulling of her senses still made her bold where otherwise the awareness of his magic may have warned her off. As it was she could not feel the curls of hoarfrost around her, pressing near as he was less wary since the episode where he had healed her. There was no sensation of honey wine to smother her and give heed that this was a mage who recalled she had walked in on him half dressed and stared at his form without artifice to cloud her obvious enjoyment of the sight.

 

“I never said they were the regular sorts of battles. We prefer to dwell on the tales we cannot share elsewhere. Come.” She shifted her hip a little, changed her own voice's pitch. Without meaning to she shifted into Antivan, but it was not the course lower form but the one of a crow, meant for breathy words and specifically cultured for desired effects. After the first syllable she went with it, knowing he was unfamiliar with the words and she could be frank in a way he would not pick up on. “{Join me. Let me see beneath your veneer and if there is truth in the hoarfrost and honeywine that follows you, cloaking you in mystery. I'm curious if the breadth of your shoulders and the strength of your arms is a match for the thrum of your power. What are you like when wine loosens your tongue and your muscles alike? What would your magic do for all right now I cannot sense it, would it tease and entice me even further?}”

 

Solas's eyes sharpened and his smirk barely came out, for all he did not know the words there had been something clearly stated in her tone she did not wish to repeat, alluded to in the sly smile and gleam of her gaze and he took a half step forward. “In common..?”

 

Tavaiya laughed and turned her back on him, moving towards her door. “Ask me after the first bottle.”

()()()()()()

 

He moved to take the bag from her arm and open the door by reaching around her, though Solas paused for a moment. There, barely taller as he was, he could see down the back of her shirt a hint of color upon her skin. “You are..marked?”

 

Tavaiya laughed and it was strange how right now the woman was more that one he first met. 'Good night healer...' rang in his thoughts even as she put her hand over his to push open the door.

 

“Just a little. Or a lot, you'd have to ask nicely to see.” And before he could even hope to reply she was through the doorway.

 

“Ah, Solas. You are going to join in on telling of battle stories that are hardly flattering?” Cassandra asked and didn't hesitate to go grab another cup. Inclining his head he moved to bring another chair to the low table before the sofa.

 

He felt his eyebrow going up ever higher though at what precisely it seemed their little rogue had brought back. Cheese and bread with some sliced meat and a poor bottle of white wine had been in their room for the three men to share. Here, Tavaiya was pulling out a few different half loaves in different colors and blends, true it was smaller parts of cheeses, clearly what had been cut to make artful displays, but the variety was fine. Fruits, smaller smoked meats meant to pair with the other items. And then she paused, grinning. It was a childish expression before she just about cooed.

 

“Oh I am definitely slipping that darling boy another silver coin in the morning with the copper..” She then pulled out a slightly dented box with a number of those tiny cakes that seemed to be everywhere. The icing was not perfect and in some cases they had not been whole from the trip but they were still _there_.

 

“How did you get all this?” Solas asked, reaching to open the wine and then paused. He didn't even bother keeping the surprise out of his tone. “And you even got a decent vintage..”

 

“You did the thing with your eyes again didn't you?” Cassandra asked amused as she set to pre cutting the different meats to make it easier to talk and eat.

 

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Tavaiya smirked, not even attempting to be coy. “I did roll my eyes, slipped him a pocketful of change, and bribed him for breakfast.”

 

“With your shirt falling off.”

 

“I've my bands on.” Tavaiya pointed out and Solas was both entertained, and wondering if they forgot he was there.

 

“Yes. If you left them off you think they'd have sent up a roast pig?” Cassandra drawled with a level of sarcasm he was not so used to from the usually reserved seeker. Solas swallowed a mouthful of wine to keep from joining in. You could learn a great deal from being the observer.

 

“Naw. That'd be too obvious. And then I'd have to knock someone staying here out because they'd think I was out 'collecting' and I didn't feel like using the dreamer's kiss on them.”

 

“Dreamers...?” Solas asked and Tavaiya for an answer pulled out a vial. Of course she did. The number of strange concoctions she had on her that he still was unaware of was likely high. Still she held it out for him to take and while he turned the liquid one way, and then the other, aside from the faintest amber sheen and that it seemed more oil like than a liquid it wasn't familiar. He went to remove the lid but she stopped him.

 

“Don't do that. It's potent.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“I use it when I need someone to think they spent an evening with a serving girl, or if I am in a situation I can't get out of. Usually pretending to be willing, beg for a moment to compose myself. It goes on the lips, hence the name. Worst case scenario you can get a small mouthful and pass it on if you worry they'll be aggressive. Works faster that way but very unpleasant. When you kiss it starts working on the skin, a few minutes and they'll go limp. Straight into dreams. Mimics states of arousal, including the messy conclusion, so no matter what if you strip them and make up a story proclaiming they were fantastic they're usually willing to accept the praise or I just get out of there. I've built up an immunity over time but doing so was hardly fun. Well, for me.” Tavaiya's shrug and smile, with the blush of her ears betrayed that she'd likely been teased a great deal as she built up the immunity.

 

Solas blinked at her. Part of him was disgusted and the other was livid that a woman descended from his people needed such tricks in order to avoid being taken advantage of. The part that once again placed her as a dangerous liaison, he was willing to ignore as their game of teasing back and forth where neither had been actually forward with the other was an enticement he'd not seen since the earliest days of Elvhenan.

 

“I assume these are not situations where a more..permanent..solution is used?”

 

Tavaiya shrugged, biting into a frilly cake as if completely unashamed to have not eaten any of the real fare yet. “Sometimes I'm asked to help sneak someone in, and back out of a household. Or we do it as the distraction so we can rescue someone or lift documents. There's lots of cases it's been handy. Sometimes it doesn't work.” A flash over her features of the predator and then it stretched, back to sleep. “Those times I make my apologies to whomever I was helping that such an unfortunate incident occurred and make it seem like an accident or a break in to cover my tracks.”

 

“Okay so you didn't do the eye thing, and ..really was it just that you bribed him?” Cassandra asked, making it evident to Solas that the usually uptight Seeker was fully aware of Tavaiya carrying such a drug on her, and perhaps even tentatively approving of it. Solas handed it back over and stole away one of the little cakes for himself. Though now he wanted to know what this 'eye thing' was Cassandra kept mentioning.

 

“Ears, Cass.” Tavaiya said and then sighed, sipping her wine and letting out a breathy moan. “ _Oh_ , that's nice..”

 

“Was your earlier venture fruitful?” Solas offered, minding his own intake of the alcohol. Perhaps now he could get some answers.

 

“Yes. I've a favor to do so it's a good thing Cass says we're in town an extra day. Saves me catching up. But the pay off is a lot more information Leliana can use and a finger on the pulse of the Alienage underworld here so if anything starts to move against the Inquisition that normally wouldn't be shared with humans, we'll know.”

 

“How did you manage that?” Cassandra's eyes were wide and Tavaiya blinked.

 

“You're going to that saloon for Vivienne with the too many titles, yes?”

 

“The inquisition was invited but I believe he is only bringing myself.”

 

“I've another way in and I have to get a message to pass to my contact.” She didn't even seem to blink at this. The way that Cassandra was suddenly examining Tavaiya, Solas caught on that getting into such an event just to pass a message was more like trying to convince the Seeker to wear a dress. She had flatly informed Tam that she was going to wear her Seeker garb in the same heartbeat she advised him to have something purchased for himself. Varric had volunteered Tavaiya's services as she knew something of Orlesian fashion having connections there the assumption went. Come to think of it, they should let her know about that.

 

“No one else could?”

 

Tavaiya made a face that was equally resigned and annoyed. “I had some in the upper circles who knew me, or who knew of me from my being with Elan as his guard. Saw me with a few people here and there as people were willing to overlook my ears for enough coin and because I was so trusted by a human of nobility. A simple case of 'mistaken identity' is the cover to pass the message and that is all. Aside from that I'll be using it to let people know I am alive, ensure the few allies Elan had here have kept things going..it's all masks and gloves as you know. Elan's cousins were all decent sorts and if not for how out of touch I've been I'd likely have a number of missives asking for my aid untangling and really knowing the value of the investments he's made over the years that I kept my ears to the underground for to help with.”

 

Interesting.

 

“So, battles?” He provided, as if he wasn't utterly fascinated by the facets the two were revealing. Further strings for his pulling at later dates.

 

Cassandra smiled at him, not minding the switch of conversation. “Oh, yes it was my turn. So, several months after I had been allowed to join the Seeker's I was working with a man known as Ser Bronchiel. Wretched fellow was always forgetting things, but he could plow through a front line as if he was a mountainslide. So one day as we are out trying to fend off our opponents it made sense to fall back, launch another attack from the trebuchets and archers, and then re-engage. We didn't. It turned out when things cleared up a few days later that Ser Bronchiel had misplaced the signal horn and it was on a cart headed to the Free Marches.”

 

Solas blinked, immediately understanding what the talks were. Commiserating over things just not going right. Well he had no shortage of such tales..

 

Of course they would need to be edited.

 

“Perhaps another example?” Solas asked, waiting.

 

“Tell the bear again.” Cassandra snickered and Tavaiya's expression was so greatly annoyed it almost beat out the violent flush to her cheeks and ears.

 

“The bear.”

 

“Yes.” Cassandra grinned like a girl half her age, ruddy cheeked already from working on the wine.

 

Tavaiya groaned and muttering it was a waste of good wine downed the rest of her glass, and another. “When that hits. Then I'll tell the bloody bear story. Why you seem to think it's the best one..”

 

“Because I guarantee everyone who ever hears it won't believe you.”

 

“Now this is sounding, quite intriguing..”

 

“Well while we wait for her to be inebriated to tell the tale, indulge us, Solas?”

 

He felt shock. The Seeker almost, never, used his name. Not without the Master part, perhaps he was wearing down her defenses which would only be to his benefit. Indeed, he leaned back however. He was a teller of tales in his own right, though it had none of the magical assistance that such would have back in Arlathan he could almost allow himself the delusion. Two strange but dangerous women waiting on his words, a simple meal, wine in his hand. This could have been a hunting trip with meeting the locals, in the days before he was one of the 'gods'.

 

Solas chuckled. Perhaps he should see if he could fluster the rogue, under the attention of the Seeker? Yes. He liked the challenge there. But he would start out simply, gauge how they took to his way of telling the tales.

 

“It can be about another, yes?”

 

The two women nodded, and he was also treated to the interesting sight of them seeming not to be aware that one was cutting apple slices and the other pieces of a soft cheese, only to trade so they could enjoy the snack. It spoke of the month of familiarity sharing a tent and all but being attached at the hip. Not the sort of best friends you pictured generally, the strict and powerful warrior and the sneaky rogue. Human noble and elfin bodyguard who knew each other only slightly over a month.

 

“I knew a young man, though I've forgotten his name..” Solas shifted his voice, faintly, ever so faintly, interjecting his magic. Just enough to help fog their thoughts to let them more easily picture the tale he was weaving. At the height of his powers he could have made illusions so realistic they would have tasted, felt, heard all of the events as if drawn into the reality flawlessly. It seemed Cassandra was quite susceptible if her half lidded eyes were any indication but there was a languid comfortable look to Tavaiya as she shifted, tugging her feet up behind her on the longer chaise.

 

Using his voice and a few motions of his fingers he wove the story of one of the earliest days of Solas. Before Fen'Harel, before the Eluvian. Before the Evenarius were even a thought. When he was just a boy from a small village in the north who found only in his magic, peace. The rest of the time he was hot blooded and looking for every excuse to prove himself. Too much power in a mortal form.

 

So he told them of a dare, of how he'd gone along to witness it, this pointless beating of chests between two other youths. How he'd taken the chance to make certain the locals all knew of the coming altercation and when they showed up and set upon each other with real weapons they did not know how to use the first thing that happened is they grew tired from hefting and swinging the solid metal weaponry and it had become a pathetic sight of two teens batting at each other like weak kittens.

 

Hardly inspiring. The entertainment for the onlookers however, was not to be underestimated. Because of course he had made things more interesting with his magic. They'd ended up fighting in the mud, and on ice, and he'd not been the only one with magic back then, of course. He'd learned a few sly tricks from the elders who had enjoyed using force magic to push the boys around on the landscape but he left those parts out. For how would he explain an entire village that knew to use magic this day in age? It was no longer simply as much a part of their biology as the curve to their ears and the glow to their eyes in the dark.

 

“So..this..bear tale?” Solas prompted, noticing he'd all but lulled the two into calm serenity along with the wine they were imbibing.

 

It was all for naught though as Cassandra started snickering and finally Tavaiya groaned.

 

“Fine...so, it's not _that_ interesting..”

 

“Yes it is.”

 

Tavaiya flicked a grape at Cassandra. “Really it's simple. I was visiting a hunting cabin with Elan, playing his bodyguard and visiting one of his friends at the same time though he'd come a day or two later. Well recently his friend who had a bad habit of bribing had been going on for the past season in letters about what a fine hunter he'd become. So we go to the lodge, there's no servants as lesser nobles often didn't have them unless they brought them along and Elan and I were good about doing everything ourselves for a bit. We finally got in late thanks to a rainstorm, and I start trying to get a fire going. Elan instead goes to flop on his friend's new stuffed bear skin rug while still drenched because he was thinking it'd be entertaining after listening about all this hunting skill..”

 

Solas fought a grin, but he had an idea..

 

“Turned out the bearskin wasn't from a dead bear that was clumsily stuffed but a live one that had come in through the back door someone had left propped open. Elan spent quite a good while on top of a cabinet and I don't know how a human that large got up there. I'd managed to climb the curtains and stayed on one of those stupid box valances they liked which was like sitting on a dusty fabric coated bookshelf. The bear was willing to go right back to sleep especially since the fire was now going. It took a lot of work and a thankfully sturdy chandelier to get back out of the room. We didn't stay.”

 

Solas chuckled but did make note of the fact that Cassandra was giving her a strange look.

 

“Wrong story.”

 

“...you want me to tell the one about the river?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Tavaiya blinked, Cassandra seemed stubborn.

 

“Another day.”

 

“...You've had it happen twice. Once with bandits.”

 

“You were there for that one.”

 

“I still can't believe it.”

 

“Perhaps, Seeker, you should tell it?” Solas interrupted as the two bantered. There was a faint slurring happening but they were into the second bottle.

 

“No, no..there's a way she tells...or is it you don't want him to know what's under your clothes?” Cassandra smirked at Tavaiya and Solas felt his eyebrow go up. “You did see a bit of him..shy, Jackal?”

 

Jackal?

 

Tavaiya rolled her eyes and stretched. “The tattoo, or the 'Ifrin'?”

 

“I am not familiar with that word..” Solas began. It appeared both women were now quite inebriated and he was both amused, and pleased that he had been nursing his single glass. It was a shame to see such a decent wine being treated callously but he had honestly been more entertained so far this night than since he had joined the Inquisition.

()()()()()()

 

“It's a made up one.” Tavaiya assured him and blinked down at her drink. She was pretty sure this had been a nice dry red a moment ago but it was tasting more sweet..

 

“When I first started learning Orleisan it seemed half the words made no sense when translated so Elan and I started just coming up with a few on our own. One was Ifrin. It meant something that was hidden in plain sight, and then we had Infrin, which meant it had been known.” She waved her hand at that. Really they'd come up with it, and a few pointedly nonsense words so no one delved too deeply but if either mentioned Ifrin they knew no one had any knowledge of Elan's magic and to be careful, and to both take her suppressive draught. If they said Infrin it was safe to be wary but not take it. The explanation they'd come up with though, and how they used it in conversation was precisely what she was giving Solas.

 

“I..see..children do that.” Solas teased, and there was that tiny smug smirk of him being playful.

 

Cassandra's tittering only made Tavaiya groan. Really. The woman was having far too much fun at her expense, but then the Seeker was tight laced and the 'scandal' of outing something that really didn't bother Tavaiya had the warrior being highly amusing. Best to just get it over with.

 

“Right. So, anyways, to explain..” Tavaiya paused. “Right now my tattoo is 'Ifrin'. You don't know it, you barely even know I have it. Should you see it it'd be 'Infrin.'”

 

“And this relates to a story of bandits, and a bear..and a river?” Solas was clearly laughing inwardly at them and Tavaiya was certain she and Cassandra were more inebriated than she thought.

 

Cassandra snorted in laughter and Tavaiya reached over to swat at her. She was no where _near_ drunk enough to miss but she did exaggerate it a little to show it was meant in play. “All right, all right..so the bandit one was in the Hinterlands when Cass and I went to bathe in the river. You, Varric, and Tam had all gone off to handle that issue with the missing ring and the watch towers I think. So we're clad only in water and these five bandits come bursting in and yelling to startle us..” Solas had leaned forward now, curious, and a dark hint behind his eyes saying it was most assuredly the worst case scenario he was running to. Pfft. He really had no faith in them.

 

“Well Miss Proper here starts screaming at them, some pretty impressive expletives really and dives for her tunic...and while she's trying to pull it on being soaking wet and all, I grabbed my blades and took care of the problem.”

 

She waited a moment and sipped her wine.

 

“....you didn't..dress first.” He sounded entirely controlled. Tavaiya didn't look up.

 

“No.”

 

“You were still quite outnumbered.”

 

“They were too busy staring at those bits of metal!” Cassandra chuckled and Tavaiya felt her lips curve. Dear, drunken, Cass.

 

“Guess they hadn't seen it before.”

 

“..you don't mean the blades I presume?” And if that wasn't the most confused expression on Solas she'd seen yet.

 

Tavaiya twisted, too far into enjoying the new taste of her wine to realize it was overlayed with the cloying of honey and the room seemed far cooler than it had. The sandalwood scent to the oils she'd adorned earlier seemed to have her also not paying attention to the bite of rain in a forest, the rich loam. She passed the drumbeat off as her pulse being louder from the drink, and laughter. It was so subtle, the wearing off of her suppressant that she did not realize the danger. So safe did she feel in Cassandra's company, so used to Solas now as one of her team. The burnish of Damian's company earlier. It all rolled together to having the Jackal loosening her guard as she never had around the apostate.

 

“It's something of a...tradition.” She shrugged, sly cunning smile. “Those truly important to me or from events that I feel have changed me greatly, I have marked upon my flesh. It is permanent. There is ink down my spine to commemorate my parents for all I never knew my sire out of the bloom of childhood and my mother was a force who refused to bow to fate but made her own.” Tavaiya trailed her fingers then over her covered midrift, chuckling. “Here..because when I first met Elan as children he punched me in the gut after I tackled him into the mud.” And she set down the wine, stretching fully so the shift rose up enough to betray the wink of silver. A hint. She heard Solas's intake of breath as he realized what she meant.

 

“Marked.” He managed to get out but his eyes were not on the location of her piercing, but suddenly locked on her own eyes.

 

There was a roar of drums in her ears and the flash of cold across her skin was no match for the ice water that went down her spine in a torrential release as she realized her suppressant was wearing off. There was a moment. She could have smiled, brushed it aside, maybe excused herself and slipped more down. But wine tended to loosen tongues and ease up ones sanity. And right then the void that had clawed at her since earlier that day was slowly being eased by the awareness of the powerful mage, of her friend's overripe fermented fruit power laying into the wine since they began.

 

No wonder her delightful dry red wine had begun to become sweet.

 

Tavaiya tapped her earlobe, drawing on her lessons with Damian to keep from suddenly falling into shyness. “Here of course, are standard. Wearing jewels be they real of false, or metal. A tradition in noble circles. Helped me blend as a bodyguard sometimes they insisted I be impossible to tell from a guest, minus the features I bear.”

 

Cassandra had left. When had she left? Why hadn't she noticed? Tavaiya blinked and cursed her friend who likely in her great romantic heart thought she was doing Tavaiya a _favor_ in retreating from the sitting room to the bedroom behind a closed door.

 

“Any..others?” Solas's voice was sharp and cold while being as cloying as his honey wine. It was a strange mix, a demand. Perhaps he'd not noticed that she'd been refilling his wine when he wasn't looking all night?

 

If so she was in a room alone with a mage who was inebriated and exceptionally dangerous for being such an unknown. A male she'd been baiting for quite a while. Her eyes danced over his torso, covered as it was but when her eyes went back to the storm gray of his own there was a smug tilt to his lips. It was _dangerous_ toying with this predator.

 

Tavaiya was a rogue. If she didn't run towards danger she wouldn't have lasted this long.

()()()()()()

 

Solas waited. There was a clear deliberation going on with the rogue as she perused his form. Realizing that she'd been abandoned by Cassandra who had slipped away with surprising grace for the inebriated warrior. Oh, he'd not act. Not without her doing so first. To capitulate was to yield and Solas was the embodiment of his name but this constant teasing and enticing was almost as enjoyable as it had been thousands of year ago. The flash of metal upon her skin _had_ been a surprise though he could admit to that. The idea she had more was...

 

Intriguing.

 

Finally though Tavaiya seemed to reach a decision and that infuriating smile of hers was back, the dancing of her eyes more sober than he would have suspected at this point. “Perhaps.”

 

She turned back to the game. Not a direct answer, not a denial. Nor even a number. There was no offer to find out, no swaying form that came to perch upon him. She had been taught this game, oh it was a much more simplistic version but then she dealt in decades where his people had centuries. Seduction was ever so much more then the act of consummation.

 

“What prize would there be in satisfying the curiosity of one who seems to enjoy nothing so much as using your mind to ferret out secrets and information?” She teased him and Solas quite enjoyed the flattery being towards his mental capabilities. Usually they fell to his voice, or his form. At times his magic.

 

“I imagine I could make it where the..pursuit..was worth more than the finale.” He turned it back upon her and leaned back in his chair. She did not lean forward, stayed comfortable where she was. It appeared that there would be no swift end to this game, and Solas found that far more preferable.

 

“They call me The Jackal, Solas...” She had a sudden lilt to her words now. “A predator yes, but a scavenger. Have you ever hunted one that is both predator and knows how to trick those who wish to hunt it? That knows to track and follow even the most elusive of predators for it's own gain?”

 

For just a moment he let his power flex, it was much like cracking ones neck to relieve pressure. And there was the _faintest of echos_ that made him curious. Did she have some form of an artifact around? “Plenty of times.” Little did she knew he was called a wolf. It had been mere fancy, much as humans would give such nicknames but he had made it his own as it suited him.

 

Tavaiya however chuckled then and closed her eyes for a moment, as if savoring their interaction. A knock on the door though and from warm and languid woman, testing boundaries with him he watched as she _moved_. Fluidity and grace that belied any interference from the wine as she suddenly was at the door, and where had that knife come from?

 

There was a servant girl on the other side and she exchanged a few soft Orleisian words before taking something from her, passing a coin over and then moving to lay out a package upon the chair the Seeker had vacated.

 

She spoke something in that strange variety of Antivan that she had been using before glancing over at him once more.

 

The curve of her throat, of her cheek. The half lowered lashes and smirk. It was identical to that time. 'Good night, healer' Echoed in his skull. Those simple words that haunted him for some reason. She'd certainly said far more suggestive things to him since.

 

“It appears I've my dress for tomorrow night.” It was a gentle suggestion they call it an evening. A reminder that had come from the outside world that once more he was in a world that passed in days and evenings not spans of moon cycles for a simple gathering. Solas set down his empty glass and stood, clasping his arms behind him. With a knowing smirk to her he mimicked her words that remained in his thoughts.

 

“Until morning, trickster.”

 

A flash of her throat as she laughed and closed her eyes to yield to her amusement was his reward and Solas left without looking back.

 

There was a faintly content sense of companionship though he thought to attribute to the warmth of the wine, as he'd not felt since around his own people.

()()()()()()()

 

The moment Solas left Tavaiya ran a hand over her face. There was no help for it. She craved the feel of his magic so strongly the concoction had worn off early and her subconscious had not even warned her. Licking her lips Tavaiya regarded the cup Solas had put down and smirked, bringing it to her lips.

 

Even the imprint of his magic left behind tasted of honeywine.

 


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Yeah this one got away from me too. After this we're going back to Haven and hopefully Tavaiya and Solas will stop taking over the whole thing. Val Royeaux just decided to be this overly...flashy..encounter.

()()()()()()()()

 

“When you said gown..” Cassandra trailed off softly as her fingers trailed over the dark gold silk in appreciation. It was laid out on the bed, to air out before that evening. Nor was it a gown as Cassandra had thought of, the item was more like a corset with the skirt splitting just under the waist into three parts. Two parts would flare at either side as she walked and longer in the back, and the third weighted down to hang and preserve her modesty. Yet the very high slits would reveal generous flashes of her legs clear to mid thigh. There were matching ribbons, four, so obviously meant to twine around arms and legs both. A fifth shorter one to go with a mask that had delicate filigree of what seemed some form of lupine maw. Tavaiya was dressed in her usual attire though she had a number of smaller knots tied in her hair to help tame it for later. The shade of the dress almost flawlessly to match the hue of her hair.

 

“My contact knows I won't wear anything I cannot fight in.” She agreed with a grin. “What are the days plans?”

 

“To my knowledge, none.”

 

“Right. So knowing Tam, mayhem, insanity, and probably running around on fools errands?”

 

“Just so.” Cassandra agreed and finally pulled her fingers from the silk but not silken garment. While such things did not suit her, the Seeker still felt the flutter in her breast of appreciation for the pure romantic ideals that formed in her mind. It was not a cut she was familiar with, foreign and elusive but in it's very simplicity it would stand out amongst the Orleisians. “Where will you hide weapons?”

 

“A few can be slipped to the under side of the corset..” Tavaiya explained. “See how it's laced on the sides as well? To allow for a greater gap just above the hips. It also permits better to follow the existing curves of ones form instead of forcing me to yield to the boning. It's thinner bits of steel..” Tavaiya pressed Cassandra's hand down so she could feel how the slivers moved. Delicate springs, far more of worth than if it had been coated in emeralds all over the garment. “It will allow me to run, to dance, to breathe if need be at full exertion. Amongst Antivan's it is called a Crow's Murder Dress. For the look when worn and for the fact that I could frankly, to be exceptionally crude..have two lovers at once and still moan properly.” Tavaiya grinned as Cassandra's face went red and her eyes wide. “I haven't of course, but it is the idea behind it.”

 

“How did you come to have such a thing made for you?”

 

Tavaiya's expression turned fond. “A scar. Remember the one at the back of my ribs?..”

 

“The one you said you got saving a woman from her husband..”

 

“The child bride.” She agreed. “Turns out her family has been supplying the Crow's formal attire for generations. We've stayed in touch and when I consent to wear a gown, it is done by no other. We actually have it in a written contract.”

 

“...it would be impossible to have her make such a garment, a battle dress, for another?”

 

Tavaiya blinked, reading between the wistful lines. Cassandra would not wish to be clad so revealing, as a rogue..but...

 

“After all of this I will write a letter and if she cannot have it done she will know to whom we can recommend your coin, Cassandra.” Tavaiya pledged with a fond smile. She certainly did not fault the woman for refusing to become the simple woman beneath chiffon and silk, but if anyone knew where to find a battle dress that would suit the seeker should she need it? The Crow's would.

 

The two left the room all smiles to face the boys, and the coming insanity that was inherent when dealing with the inquisition.

()()()()()()

 

The group met up and moved out to wander the streets as humble sight see-ers. Finally, close to noon Varric mentioned needing attire for Tam and with a heavy sigh she pulled the dalish male into a nearby shop and proceeded to fling rapid Orleisian back and forth with an elder there whose gender was hidden behind their mask. Rapid hand signals betrayed that at some point the store owner had been in the underground as it was the fluidity of finger signs that were distinctly of rogue engineering. Varric however, was not as comfortable with this particular evolution of it and could only guess they were insulting the amount of time that was provided and agreeing to go with not making a statement as a statement.

 

Whatever _that_ meant.

 

What it meant was Tam was shoved into a back room, proceeded to curse in what had to be rather poor form judging from the way Solas looked perturbed at the use of elvish insults, and the others wandered around the shop.

 

“What is he saying?” Tavaiya finally asked Solas as she moved next to him, she'd taken a half dose of her suppressant earlier. Enough to keep her from being so overwhelmed, and more likely from his sensing anything about her, but not enough to remove the cold and taste of his magic as it lazily coiled around him. Some women had things about fine chocolate, she'd decided she enjoyed the experience of Solas's magic.

 

“In this your lack of understanding is doing you good. He's..” Solas cleared his throat and looked entirely disturbed. “Saying something about being the child of a potato. One that is purple, apparently.”

 

“The shopkeep?”

 

“Himself.”

 

Tavaiya grinned. “You know, my decision not to try and learn the language seems a better one..”

 

Solas sighed heavily and locked his gray eyes to her own blue. “As much as I would enjoy, truly, having another to converse with in such a lyrical language with nuances and intricacies to rival the most expansive library to be found in Thedas..hearing what is coming from the Herald I must agree with you.”

 

Neither brought up the previous evening. Except that Tavaiya was curious but she carefully steered away from that talk. “Any plans while we are off making fools of ourselves?”

 

“Yes. I shall finally spend some time wandering the Fade here, for a longer period.” Solas smiled and Tavaiya was willing to let the subject go though to be honest she had a number of questions, each would give the apostate more information than she was comfortable with his having at this point. Eventually the silence was broken when Tam emerged, a dark green outfit over his arm and having handed over the coins already. He looked entirely disturbed.

 

“You got a mask?” She asked, and Tam nodded.

 

“He insisted.”

 

“It's rather like going without small clothes to Orleisians. They can overlook it for being tourists but at such an event? You wouldn't be taken very seriously.”

 

“I think I'd rather be without smalls than have my sight obstructed.”

 

Tavaiya couldn't resist. Pretending she wasn't watching the expressions of the other four she casually remarked. “Oh generally these pants I wear are so tight I don't wear smalls. You aren't missing anything.”

 

Varric grinned, Cassandra fought a smile, Tam choked.

 

Solas, looked when she turned away from him. The mirror in the corner betrayed his gaze following the curve of her backside and the expression he wore when he noticed there was indeed no tell tale crease? She'd not thought such a controlled male could suddenly seem so feral.

 

Varric had also looked and his remark proved it. “No lines. Naughty naughty..”

 

Tavaiya looked over her shoulder with a wicked rogue's smirk and teasingly licked her lips. “Lied. Ever seen Antivan smalls?..just a small set of lace and strings...”

 

It was her and Cassandra laughing as the boys fell behind stumbling, and Cassandra discreetly whispered. “Comfortable?”

 

“Like being naked, Cass. Only makes you feel as powerful as if you had a poisoned blade hidden in a glove. Remind me to have you meet my favorite artisan..”

 

()()()()()()()()

 

Solas excused himself from the meandering of streets not long after and made his way back to the room he shared with Tam and Varric. In a short time he was stretched out on the couch of his shared domicile and sought the Fade in practice that bespoke of the numerous millenia of experience he had in doing so. There was a simple goal though, beyond exploring the history rampant in the area. He was seeking his old friend Wisdom and any she may know who could assist him in learning Antivan.

 

Tavaiya never did explain what she had been saying, and despite her comment on the journey from Haven that she did not speak it fluently, clearly she did some form of it. He would prefer to keep secret any information he learned whilst she was under the impression he could not understand anything spoken in such a tongue. It would hardly be the first time he learned great secrets from those who suspected he was truly in the dark.

 

Briefly he recalled the reminder of the peek of dark color along her spine, the flash of metal as her shift rose up..the taunt of Antivan lace..

 

But Solas's will was the sort that had risen him to the legend of being Evanarius. The Fade reformed to help him locate the one he sought.

 

Wisdom, as always, had no reason to question his seeking of knowledge. It was as helpful as ever, joyful at a reason to share it's purpose.

()()()()()()()()

 

Leaving Tam to Varric, Cassandra pulled Tavaiya in with her to prepare for the evening. Though it took the Seeker very little time to don the more formal garb of her order and she consented to a few delicate enhancements of her usual kohl lined eyes and soot upon her lashes, scented pomade in her hair. Even her nails were buffed and varnished with the faintest of lilac sheens. It was really in watching how Tavaiya made herself ready that Cassandra had wished to witness.

 

“You remind me of a bard.” Cassandra said offhand, a glass of delicate wine her hand as she waited for her to finish preparing. “So much careful subterfuge. Is tonight’s message truly so important?”

 

“Did you ever have those you trusted to the point you did not ask?” Tavaiya asked even as she slowly pinned up another curl. She was in nothing but her small clothes, and indeed, Cassandra's fascination with the garments of seeming sheer lace and string had been amusing. Tavaiya had literally -bounded- around the room to prove they would not fall down even though the piece in place of her breast bands was without shoulder straps. It had been made specifically for her figure.

 

“Yes.” Cassandra conceded and then chuckled. “Why red?”

 

“I am wearing _gold_. Red if glimpsed is suggestive, titillating.” Tavaiya shrugged and let another curl fall even as she captured a different one. The goal was to seem tousled, as if carefully coiffed and then mussed from a swift tumble. Everything about her this evening would be suggestive. Appropriate but just barely. A woman whose virtue was tarnished but only in suspicion. There was little that made Orleisians both gossip and overlook her more. “Besides, I rather like it.”

 

“It does contrast the tattoo well.” Cassandra's smile was indulgent as she saw the curving forms. The deepest of golds, that flowed into black as it moved over her spine from base of her shoulder blades to above her hips. It was clearly to mimic the pattern of a Jackals' stripe even if the precise motion of the markings was evocative of far more ancient elvhen patterns. “I've seen more of you than many your would be lovers, haven't I?” And it was without judgement, just idle curiosity there. Cassandra knew, of course. It had been one of their earlier conversations that had let the Seeker overlook the blatant wanton harlot behavior, to know that under all the filth and suggestions, the lewd eyes and breathy sighs, was a surprisingly innocent woman. Not in mind of course.

 

“You've indeed. And more than many of my friends save those I've known over a decade.” Tavaiya confirmed without hesitation as she decided the amount of her hair that was up, most of it, was enough and set about enhancing her eyes with kohl and a touch of rogue on her cheeks. None on her lips, though she did finish the eyebrows so they were not the winged natural form but instead flowed into a full arch. The lips were left bare knowing she would be indulging in a kiss to distract from the passing of a message later. Likewise, she did not dust her skin as was the fashion for just that reason. Why allow it to smudge on his hands and clearly bare where his fingers would trail? She was to create a distraction, not a scandal. “Does that bother you?”

 

“Hardly. I feel...” Cassandra paused. “Grateful. You know how I am and yet never belittle me or accuse me of being less a woman because I chose to honor my nature.”

 

“You've never insulted me for mine.”

 

Cassandra sipped her wine. “Need me to lace you in?”

 

“Tightly.” Tavaiya frowned then and it amused the Seeker endlessly that the rogue, as many of the Nevarran's relatives had, clearly had practiced in the mirror for ages to ensure such an expression was not an ugly one.

 

“Suspect he'll want more than a kiss?”

 

Tavaiya groaned even as she moved to slip into the waterfall of golden fabric, more on the muted side than true gold, tarnished. It had been lovely but suddenly against her skin it gave it a more warm hue, sending Tavaiya's coloring from merely a dark blonde and pale but still softly tan into utterly tarnished gold. Urging one to rub at the ring of such color, to burnish back the proper coloring. Cassandra's appreciation for the battle gown skyrocketed.

  
“It suits you..” She said even as she helped to tie up the back. Being not the only child among many of her relatives helped as she knew how to properly lace in a high born woman, far better than Tavaiya could have done for herself. There was just a way to how the laces fell that betrayed if one had assistance. It was a seductive declaration in itself, needing another to get you back out of it. The two laces upon her sides were lower, could have been done alone but would not have been faintly towards the back, proving someone had done them again, for her.

 

“The full nickname I had was 'The Tarnished Jackal.'” Tavaiya confessed. “Because it is the tarnished items one tends to overlook, but only the truly valuable metals and alloys become such Other lesser ones rust and corrode.” She shrugged then dismissing the term. “My contacts tend to take it a bit far. Antivan's.”

 

“Do not ever let Josephine know.” Cassandra agreed with a wicked smile that said from the Seeker's mouth would the lady Montilyet probably learn such a term.

 

“Wretched woman.” Tavaiya said fondly as she began to lace the ribbons round her arms, left to flutter streamers beyond her elbows, and then doing the same over the arches of her feet to mid calf. A dab of some unguent held the items in place.

 

“You look entirely suited for the bed of a king.” Cassandra said and it was no insult. Her dark eyes roamed the golden figure and clearly it was precisely the look Tavaiya was meant to have. Just subtle enough to never leave your thoughts, not ornate enough to look as if it was on purpose. “I see now why Leliana complains that she cannot conscript you.”

 

“She'd have me in the Archon's bed or worse.” Tavaiya agreed with a faint sigh, but then a rogue's smile touched her lips. Feral and wild and dangerous and somehow ribbons and silken fabrics looked lethal. “Let's collect our Dalish Herald and go to set tongues a wagging..?” The same gel had been pressed to her mask, and now it was firmly held against Tavaiya's face.

 

The Jackal. The ribbons left dangling in place of earrings made her seem a fey creature, come out from a fairy tale for mischief.

 

“I fear I'll need to guard your virtue.” Cassandra laughed as she stepped out first and could not help but smirk seeing that the men where there. Likely, Varric and Solas would walk them to the event. “Coming with us?”

 

“I need to make an entrance.” Tavaiya shook her head, not even glancing to the men as she shrugged. Her eyes were only for her friend. “I'll be going ahead. Once you are there I'm certain the Herald will attract all the attention.”

 

“Not with you dressed like THAT...Maker, Secrets...” Varric whistled and Tavaiya turned, her head tilted. “I thought you were going to a saloon not to someone's bed...”

()()()()()()

 

Tam had no words. He had felt a fool, and indeed Varric had enjoyed teasing him for the many layers he'd been put in. An under shirt, shirt, over shirt, vest, jacket, and finally a robe..each in a slightly different shade of green over the pants and boots that he'd been bullied into. The belt, sash, and even mask had him feeling a fool. Solas of all people had to show him precisely how to layer everything without it bunching up. He'd started to think maybe he should have insisted the apostate join him that evening despite the fact that with all the sleeping Solas had been up to, he clearly was trying to catch up in the Fade.

 

Nerves had fled him though when he saw that far from being overdressed, his outfit was understated compared to the formal looking embroidered garment of the Seeker's robes, were those actual crystals as buttons?

 

And Tavaiya.

 

He'd come to terms with the fact he admired the rogue, thought her lovely. Enjoyed teasing and being teased and the way she could set his pulse to racing but he did not actually want anything to come of it. The idea of being with her did not haunt his thoughts and he was relieved to not have complications with one of his friends. Still, he suddenly felt entirely forgettable next to the way she looked. Thankfully. She moved as if born to live in that gown, the flash of flesh here and gone more distracting than the gold thread and crystals upon Cassandra's tunic. “We'll look good as a group. Green, lilac, and gold.” He found himself saying and grinned. “No mask, Cass?”

 

“If I wore one it would be unusual.” The Seeker agreed. On a whim, Tam cut his eyes to see what Solas made of the spectacle. He was surprised to see Solas looking entirely unaffected. That settled it, Solas had no hormones. None. Even Varric looked like he was picturing some entirely lewd imagery of the two women together.

()()()()()()

 

“You will be going..before?” Solas said calmly. Because Tavaiya knew that the Madame Vivienne was a powerful mage she had only taken a small dose of suppressant but she needed the advantage. Right that moment, she was cursing not having downed several.

 

Not even an eyebrow raised, but his eyes were locked just shy to the side of her body. Deliberate. The hoarfrost though was clinging to her so thickly she expected to see the fabric begin to show ice crystals. To see her breath fogging the air. Honeywine choked her lungs and any loss of the drumming to her senses had been replaced by a secondary pulse anew. Her own heartbeat seemed to have vanished. She had not been the focus of his attention like this before, as if the mask and dress had shaken his focus.

 

She was drunk on his power and the night had yet to begun. Chuckling she licked her lips softly, not missing the way he followed the motion. It was astounding how if not for her other sense she would have honestly suspected he was all but stone, without a single interest in her as displayed as she was.

 

“Of course. The outfit is meant to not keep me from the sky ways” Tavaiya grinned wickedly at the groups confusion. “You may be taking a carriage..I'll be racing along rooftops.” She laughed then and before they could recover, or the spike of magic from Solas convinced her to betray her knowledge of his attention, winked and dashed down the hall, aware the fluttering of her skirts would have flashed her side above her hips, the faintest peek of red in the process along the top of her backside before the golden fabric would have obscured it yet again. Teasing glimpses, that was the hall mark of a Crow's Murder Dress.

 

And Elan had wondered why she could spend a fortune on a single gown.

 

She took to the roof tops easily. There were a few places that had staircases leading up and had any glanced upwards, it wasn't the first time a bard had run about, that Tavaiya had never taken a single specialization in her chosen career did not matter. She knew the bards in the area that were currently active and they her. A few other caped figures, many in elaborate masks also were flying about at a full run as one did after the sun descended. If they passed by a murder or a hustle, none interfered. It was a polite ignoring of the affairs.

 

When she all but flipped onto the gate leading into the infamous Madame's domicile, the guard glanced up and yet her reputation had remained. The jackal mask was one no one else would dare wear. Orleisian mask politics were so strict you would court death to have the livery and pattern of another and the filigree jackal, in tarnished gold, was hers and known amongst all of Orlais.

 

Bless Elan for having registered it for her. Damian for making it her symbol. Her first Crow Master who had trained all three of them for dubbing her such.

 

This common thread, and Damian the only living remainder of that, was why she landed in a flurry of her skirts and straightened with a purr, handing over her invite to the masked guard. “Good evening.”

 

She had her rounds to make, a quarry to stock..and a message to secure.

()()()()()()()()()

 

“I think she just flashed us her under things.” Varric was the first to speak. “Was she wearing red, Seeker?” The dwarf was amused, but only more so when Cassandra answered without thinking.

 

“Yes. Wait!” A disgusted sound and then she huffed. “Come Herald, we have an event to attend.”

 

As they retreated Varric just gave a low whistle. “Well I'm off to find a place with good gossip and cheap ale. You're going back to sleep, Chuckles?”

 

“To explore the Fade, yes.” And was it not something that the elf didn't even seem to smile at the craziness that had just happened. Really, Varric often did not know what to make of the male.

 

“Suit yourself.”

 

Solas stood in the hall for a while, ensuring the others were long gone before he went back in, but to the girls' room. It was, perhaps curiously in contrast to what he expected, insanely tidy. Still the prior night he'd noticed the large mirror and crossing over his fingers trailed over the gilded frame to trace glyphs of scrying over and over. It was an exceptionally old spell, one that had long since fallen out of favor before Arlathan. It linked two reflective surfaces but only for the caster and not for a great deal of time. The output of energy to maintain it was also a draw back and later on the Eluvian and all their lesser forms had rendered the knowledge of the glyphs archaic and mere idle curiosity if one knew of them at all.

 

He'd bent all of his legendary focus and determination to re-mastering the current form of Antivan from the most archaic version he had been passably familiar with. It was enough for him to be able to piece together the majority of a conversation if at a reasonable rate of speech, and perhaps from his own many years of schemes, he had a feeling that Tavaiya would have a visit from her contact that evening. Why else would she insist to leave early, truly? One could make an entrance later just as easily. But should one wish to retire before the others, to meet up and share information in a common location without suspicion?

 

And so Solas laid his trap, before returning to his room. To make this all the less...of interest, should Varric return in the midst of it all, he placed the reflective glyph to view and hear the coming intrigue upon a window pane and then set up one of the chairs there. It would hardly seem amiss to watch the lights of the city, especially if he was apparently reading and easily distracted in the process. Yes, that would do nicely.

 

Until then he settled into the chair to revisit the Fade and ensure he brushed up once more on the modern Antivan. If he spared a moment's memory of the sight of Tavaiya dressed so ornately, it was only for his own knowledge.

 

Truly, the utter simplicity of her attire had suited her. She would not have seemed so amiss, if closer to a peasant in the lack of ornamentation, back in the courtly balls he had enjoyed showing up to in shocking attire that ran towards the wild and uncouth himself. The flash of flesh and teasing hints of what lay beneath would have met with the approval of Anduil and Sylaise both, the curve of her mask being a jackal's face over her own, making her seem wild and feral..

 

Perhaps Solas had never been an actual wolf, though he had learned to take such as his form once he acquired the moniker of Fen'Harel, but the dichotomy of her garbed in such elegance and fey danger all at once...he had of course, not missed that her hairpins were each apparently lethally sharp for one who could not bring her usual weapons..

 

The reminder of her ink that he still had no idea as to what it was, still unseen..that she had at least one bit of metal through her skin.

 

Yes, it was likely for the best he was not attending this..saloon.

 

The wolf slipped into the Fade to prepare for his trap, set to catch a scavenger.

()()()()()()

Tavaiya felt the event pass in a blur. She had made her rounds, done the ridiculously complicated circular talks with the attendees to ensure Elan's holdings and allies were still strong. His cousins were good people and she'd help them as much as possible while focused on mostly helping Tam. She'd found the man, and indeed he looked a good deal like the swarthy Antivan she was there on behalf of. Rumor was he was a lord's bastard, part Rivain. A knowing look and they were in one of the secluded alcoves that every Orleisian home had for just such illicit undertakings, wandering hands and lips upon each other.

 

His hands grabbed a bit too sharply and not from passion of lust but anger, his teeth latched onto the sensitive lobe of her ear as it was the only real way he could hurt her without drawing attention. A hiss was his answer, and yet she did not let him win. His muttered curses of if she had just been able to react to a woman gave her the fire to grab him in a way considered entirely uncouth. If he was going to be upset that she had Damian's attention, thinking he was worth more than the moments distraction he could potentially endanger her friend. That, she would distract him from turning his jealousy into confusion. Hands clenched in his dark locks Tavaiya had pulled him in for a kiss the way she'd learned not from Damian or his sort, but from one of Elan's friends. A known womanizer who had spoken many a time of what his own weaknesses were from the girls he did not want to bed, but somehow ended up helpless against. Elan had always agreed to it.

 

So she arched against him, pulled him close and then moved away as he sought friction with a breathy giggle. Her tongue moved against his and she ran nails over his scalp and softly down his neck and chest. She let tiny sounds come out as if she actually desired him, but there was no real interest on her part. Instead she let the determination to not resort to tricks of the potion sort work her into a frenzy. Her pride.

 

When his hands started to trail over the laces of her corset in earnest she finally found the bit of paper in his hold and drawing back, her lips swollen but curved in a smile, she traced her fingers down her own neck, into the dip between her breasts. A slight twist and it was hidden safely and his eyes had followed the flash of red lace briefly bared before she purred at him.

 

“Oh..my apologies..but your eyes are _green..._ ”

 

“What does that..” He began, and Tavaiya felt smug that he'd temporarily forgotten. Evidence of course, hot and heavy against her but she slid against him, slowly, deliberate, and faked a blush.

 

“I thought they were silver.”

 

The comment made her blush for real as she fled to find a glass of champagne and a courtier she could hover around and make the usual 'Oh my I thought he was someone else. From that party two years ago, you remember the one Heir Seuine had? With the fountains?..' and fall into nonsense gossip with another woman she'd often played such a foil for when she was hiding her affairs. Willing elves to pretend to be a servant and get you out of tricky situations like herself were invaluable and so the number of masked nobles she could curry small favors from was not a tiny number.

 

Silver. She'd always claimed eyes that were blue.

 

And yet when faking desire the word that comes out was silver. She supposed it was a miracle she didn't say hoarfrost.

 

Second hand gossip revealed during the near twenty minutes she'd been flustering and retrieving the slip of paper that Tam had not only arrived, charmed, been insulted, and then somehow recruited the hostess. It was _not_ considered impolite in Orleisan society to leave without greeting the host if you were no one of interest but there to claim you had been so fortunate, indeed it was considered a failure of an event if at least a dozen did not go just to speak of whom had actually been greeted without such attention given to themselves. So without even a word to Tam or Cassandra, Tavaiya slipped back across the lawn, paid one of the hired carriages to take her back to the hotel and by the time she entered her room was hardly a step in before the sight of Damian at home on the couch, having helped himself to the provided wine and cheese, drew her attention.

 

She never sensed the tingle of the glyph activating or knew that Solas was watching from the next room, only locking the door before one moment Damian was across the room and the next spinning her around so her profile was clear to the mirror as he checked her over. Satisfied at what he saw.

 

Damian's hand spanned across her waist, tugging her body into his own. Her back met his chest as the hand that was not so distracted with helping to fuss at the lines of her corseted side, seeking the hidden location of her message, trailed up along the flatness of her bodice and the curve of her chest, to splay his palm over her throat and tilt her chin up. Feverish kisses decorated her hair and cheek as he spoke rich Antivan into her flesh. All apologies. He _knew_ she hated acting as she had for him, knew she'd be protective enough to do it well.

 

“{You could have warned me your lover was possessive and jealous!}” Tavaiya hissed in annoyance but relaxed into his touch in lieu of turning and kissing him back. She had no idea they had an audience, much less one who could understand them now. Indeed for all the experience she had with magic, never once had the rogue learned of scrying. A mostly lost art, at least to the level that was being employed at the moment. Tavaiya thought nothing of the prickling along her arms, considering the masculine form behind her. She just wanted his nearness and touch to make her not feel that of his lover grasping at her.

 

Just because she and Damian had never, would never, be lovers did not mean they did not allow the pleasant frustration of temptation upon each other. It was part of their complicated friendship. Safe. Comforting. He'd come to her sometimes in the dead of night after a hit and she'd bathed him so that the last touch he felt was not one that made him feel befouled.

 

“{What fun would that be, my tarnished love?}” Damian chuckled and then hummed as he palmed the message against the curve of her left breast where she had slipped it, loosening the ties for her. Tavaiya shoved him away, gently, playfully, but her eyes remained stormy even as she twisted to locate her shift. She pulled it over her head but did not push her hands through the sleeves, instead shimmying loose the garment to puddle at her feet without once baring her flesh.

 

“{I dislike being the source of gossip and he _bit_ me.}”

 

“{Yes, he does like to bite. Perhaps he was angry that you are so appealing. Likely imagining sordid images of you and I twined together upon silken sheets and glistening in our exertions. Come to think of it, the idea that he would be in the midst of such an encounter with the two of us probably struck and fueled his desires, twisting the encounter to a mass of frustration...mayhaps we should experiment?}” Damian asked with a wriggling of his brows even as Tavaiya brought her now sleeved arms up to begin pulling the hairpins free, golden silk forgotten upon the floor.

 

“{You know perfectly well I would never agree to that. I wish I'd been drunk as it were kissing him, hardly enjoyable. You need to work with him on that..and I like staying alive, my dear crow.}” She chuckled as the first of the artfully contained curls tumbled down. “{Landing amongst your pillows is the first part of taking the last breath. Besides, are we not closer to family according to your traditions?}”

 

“{Ah indeed dearest Jackal, you may as well be clad in a gown of feathers that reflect the hues of the darkened rainbow...speaking of limbs tangled up in my sheets..your herald..}”

 

“{Is to remain alive, and thus not end up under you.}” Tavaiya interrupted. At Damian's attempt to speak on it it again she flung one of the hairpins in his direction without looking. It stuck fast into the wall, revealing to their unseen observer that the seemingly only ornate creations were actually small weapons in and of themselves with which she was so familiar to not need sight to aim them. She had not after all, gone unarmed. “{Tam is an innocent Damian, if he has a weakness for you that is his faulting but I shall not see you end him simply because of a moments pleasure.}”

 

“{Credit, my beautiful one. It would be hours at least..but I could alter my tradition..for one such as your Herald..I've never had a savage before..I could let him live for the uniqueness and his title.}” Damian said flippantly. His eyes trailed over Tavaiya, appreciating the display without any true sexual interest since his tastes was almost exclusively towards males, as the rogue walked over to lay on the couch, draping her feet onto the assassin’s lap with the ease of long familiarity. Her feet and calves still clad in the dark gold ribbons which he began to unwind for her, skilled fingers pressing into the muscles as he did so and causing her to issue soft moans and sink into the cushions with an arch to her spine that was entirely unintentional. Massage was the first thing crow's learned, and was something of a humiliating endeavor for them once they proved themselves. His doing so was an apology in and of itself.

 

“{Satisfied with what I have done for you I hope?}”

 

“{The herald will gain my information that I can spare as I gather it, yes. You looked lovely in Mora's gown. You did recognize the cut I hope?}”

 

“{Who else would have thought to make something so airy that was ready if I needed to fight? You will send my adoration and appreciation?}”

 

“{Oh, I did that when she first sent it. I knew you'd appreciate it. I'll keep it safe for you. It was a vision on your skin. You should keep it for when you finally have someone to seduce properly.}”

 

Tavaiya laughed then, a full rich tone that spilled out of her and looked through her half lowered lashes at the swarthy Antivan. “{You think I'd seduce a lover in a ball gown?}”

 

“{There is a saying, if you must seduce someone to fall in love with you, do it in a dance.}” Damian deflected as he kneaded the arch of her foot. Tavaiya sighed softly.

 

“{Back on this?}”

 

“{ I worry for you, my darling girl. You know the game, the words, the looks. You know to touch and kiss and move. Indeed I've little doubt in the right situation you could start wars or end them with but a few words and a glance..but you've done all of this with your heart so clearly kept away. I've sent you princes and lords, nobles and warriors..need I start looking at the barbarians or fellow crows? I wish to see you experience love. To know why pursuit of the little death is such a way of life, a little happiness. Elan asked me to ensure you would not be alone..and it was not friends he meant.}” Damian watched as Tavaiya's expression became far away. He may not have been good acquaintances with Elan, but he'd known the noble and indeed they had the wild female in common, and both were fully aware that should she give her heart it would probably be but once. It would never be to him, and it was a bittersweet knowledge of that but the crow also knew he could never fully be what she needed and so he was there for her utterly, as she was for him. As much as they could. In another lifetime perhaps, but they were the sort of friends so close that despite their jests they were too close to mingle physically.

 

“{Would you think of me less, to know that it is not a thing you can quantify that I need?}” Tavaiya finally answered and Damian hummed. Years ago he had asked her to give him a single thing that was a starting point. Aside from fellow elf so I know the parts fit? Nothing had been given.

 

“{Try me.}”

()()()()()()

 

Solas did not know why he was holding his breath as he watched in the window pane. Holding the spell was quite tiring but he had no desire to end it. Indeed, the hours he'd spent pouring over Antivan for all it was not entirely understood, had helped immensely. With the number of languages he had known in their earlier forms figuring out the precise cadence to this strange offshoot of Antivan was a pleasurable challenge.

 

Though he still did not know what to make of the interactions the two rogue's had. One moment it had seemed as if they were lovers, then enemies, and at times they had a grace like the oldest of relationships. Right now though, despite himself and all his supposed dignity, Solas was curious. What drew the mystery of the little rogue to another? What in her flirtations with himself was perhaps generous? Or was it the ones to Master Tethras or the Herald which were more true? The agitation of his needing to wait as Tavaiya gathered his thoughts was sheerly frustrating as he knew it was not long now before the effort of holding the scrying spell active overcame even his stubborn drive.

 

With a faint groan, and not in the slightest innocent sounding, as the Antivan began to rub her ankles Tavaiya finally spoke.

 

“{I've long suspected only a mage could fully capture my attention.}”

 

Solas stilled.

 

“{Oho? And why is that?}”

 

Tavaiya glanced to the right side, a tell Solas had come to learn was one she had when being evasive. Telling the truth but not the whole of it whereas most looked to the left. The narrowing of the man's eyes showed he knew it as well, and for some reason the understanding that this swarthy rogue knew Tavaiya so well was making Solas scowl. He did not like that clearly someone else had every capability of putting the puzzles together. Not one that he viewed as a shade of what the People had been, it made Solas feel like he was still half asleep.

 

“{There's a way that mages move, think.}” A strange smirk to her lips, a lick to those same lips and a shudder that ran down her body. Evidently whatever example had come to the woman's mind was an enticing one. The view of her faint arousal at just the mental recall of something was..distracting.

 

“{If that was all I would think any librarian would draw you in.}”

 

“{Oh give me the intelligence, the mind of a great male to help my own grow..indeed, Damian. But there is something..defying of words to a mage. I am comforted by their drawing of the fade, the knowledge that such power is there to defend if there is call for it is like a knife beneath my pillow.}”

 

“{...that something else?}” Damian seemed to be suggesting a far earlier conversation if the uncomfortable shifting that Tavaiya gave was an indication. As if it was a talk she'd hoped he'd long forgotten.

 

“{Right, it didn't work so well to help you forget..}”

 

The Antivan laughed and then pulled on her leg, hauling her into his lap with ease and a flash of her thigh and the distracting red small clothes she wore beneath had gray eyes widening as he watched the Antivan pull her chin near his own. Tavaiya did not resist, relaxed at the manhandling in a way that spoke long familiarity and intimacy that was not carnal in nature. “{Once, my Jackal, you told me with ruddy cheeks and too much wine upon your lips, that you could not dream ahead. Only behind. That you desired my da'mi, until then my favorite blade an heirloom I took from a temple, for yourself. Tell me this..tell me if someone has perhaps finally caught your gaze and I will pass her into your hands. You'll have the artifact you've coveted so long.}”

 

It seemed an easy enough trade but Tavaiya's fingers trailed over Damian's face even as her legs were on either side of his. The position was very intimate and suggestive but the body language was anything but sexual. It was a strange dichotomy. “No.”

 

Whatever else was to come next, was lost as Solas heard a knock on the door that made him loose the spell. There was the sound of Cassandra going down the hall further towards her shared room with Tavaiya however, and if anything Solas knew that the Seeker would not be one to tolerate a stranger in the room. Indeed as he retreated to the washroom to splash his face and tone down the apparent exhaustion for someone who had slept until then. Well, Solas heard the sound faint as it was of the next window slipping open and saw a faint outline slip down and away.

 

Wasn't it just like everything involving the little rogue, that the more answers he received, the more questions she left him with?

 

And now he knew the sound of her when her sore muscles were loosened, the way she arched just so. It was something of a pleasure, the many ways he was finding to torment himself with one whom he had not yet even proof of the interest being returned. If not, it appeared to satisfy this recent fascination he would need to entice her to make the first move. He did after all, have his pride.

 

And no real answers for all the effort he'd just used in spying on her.

 


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Have a shorty.

()()()()()

There was nothing of interest when they got back on the road to Haven. Unless you counted that Tavaiya met Sera and Vivienne at the same time allowing no one to actually make sense of the mess as the two had yet to actually cease sniping at each other long enough to even look over..and it ended with the rogue giving Tam a flat unamused look. “They are bickering.”

 

“Uh, they do that?” Tam offered weakly. He could see the flash of irritation to his favorite rogue but she did not leave, or threaten to come back after a while. Instead she took a deep breath, and her hands were on his shoulders.

  
“You need them? Alive I mean.” The drawling out of alive was such a clear joke that it showed him no matter what, personal annoyances aside, she'd still follow him.

 

Tam grinned at Tavaiya, his body relaxing. “Yes. Sera knows 'people and things' in her own words and to be honest she's like a cruder more loud version of you so I can have you off to handle things when you get light sickness..and the way she flusters everyone makes me laugh. I need laughter..and Vivienne is _powerful._ You aren't a mage I know, but it just coils around her like serpents and I think I could learn a lot from her. She has experience with the circles and they have actual structured teaching instead of Solas's instinctive feel the Fade stuff..” He realized they hadn't had a while to really sneak off and talk in too long and Tam decided he needed to start making the group get together more often. Maybe Varric could start a weekly or twice a week Wicked Grace and Storytelling thing? He needed a way to spend time with his team, outside of travel and battle.

 

“Okay.” And as before, Tavaiya just gave in.

 

Tam smiled and thought it would be so easy to fall in love with someone like her, but he knew it was not where his interest was. If anything, being the herald meant he now had freedom to not simply _need_ to look at what was appropriate as a Dalish to continue the line, and his eyes were on Varric's chest hair even more than Vivienne's bare legs.

 

But someone _like_ Tavaiya, who supported him and rolled her eyes at the stupidity? Where loyalty and humor trailed after her so heavily some times Tam felt like he could actually sense her? Tam thought he'd like that.

()()()()()()()

 

Tavaiya's senses blurred as she stepped away from the humming of Tam's magic. She was slower, her hands shook ever so minutely and she recognized the signs right away. She could not take anymore of the suppressant.

 

It had wretched timing.

 

For whilst perhaps Tam called Vivienne's power coiled serpents he was not wrong. It was cold unyielding metal that made up the touch and taste of her power, and despite all of her entirely frightening powers it still was but a fragment of what she sensed from Solas. Solas's echoed, as if distant from him but still _there_ and yet it would be nigh a month before she would be safe to take more of her concoction. Any sooner and she risked backlash that would make her _more_ sensitive. She'd done that once. Adjusting back from that had been almost a year and she did not dare. So, breathing through the bind of Vivienne's power..more akin to the springs of a tightly laced corset which made ever so much sense when you thought of how Madame de Fer believed in control and with Vivienne's own fashion blatantly declaring it even as it distracted with patterns and styles it was exacting to the last stitch, Tavaiya walked over.

 

Someone, likely Varric, had managed to separate the two new ones and Tavaiya wasted no time in making her move. Best the mage first, rogues could be won over with much more ease at a later date. And though it was old she had _history_ with Vivienne. The moment Vivienne's dark gaze was upon her, close, but not close enough they could clasp hands, Tavaiya shifted into not an Orleisan curtsy or bow but an Antivan one. Her rogue's attire would have stilted and stolen the elegance from the other forms and Fereldan was not formal enough. But Nobles of Antiva would clad the women in tights and pants just as often as the males and so there was an elegant twirl of her wrists -a look no weapons up my sleeves!- before one went behind her and the other in front, a tilt of her head that let her eyes stay riveted. Her chest lowered with her hips into a sort of half dip and her rear leg swept out behind her. Balance. She'd had Damian and his second when Marguerite was around instead of off in Tevinter show her that this bow could be used as a very effective way to attack and dodge. She had a permanent scar on her rib cage as proof of that. Rubbed with dye when healing so it would always remain. Crow's and their affections..

 

Vivienne's lips curved into something entirely sinful. This was a woman who knew power, knew the love of a great man and had never let that she was his mistress be used as anything other than a tool. She had taken weakness and turned it to strength. She had known Elan, teased the boy who had yet to venture into Orlais over his simpleton's ways when on a tour of Lord Seuine's holdings with Bastien, but then in her jibes directed him to better allies. Tavaiya had sewn or served in the great room as Vivenne took tea with her 'master' and a teen Elan. Tavaiya had held the hems of her attire as another slave had fitted her with them, because in such a household having the ears meant you were capable even if you belonged to another. It had been years since they had really seen each other and not just side stepped each other in the circles of Orlais, but Vivienne's mind was her greatest power and she watched those ebony orbs gleam as the pieces fit together.

 

“Madame.” Oh she hadn't realized Vivienne was the Madame de Fer, or even the same Vivienne she knew because the dark beauty when on holiday with Bastien was a different creature, and _that_ was the one she had met. Her own feelings of foolishness because, of course. She felt she should have known no matter how common Vivienne was as a name. Not even a rogue could know everything. Two dangerous women meeting and realizing they had let a piece of their great puzzle slip, assessing as they determined how to move on from here.

 

The Jackal bowed its forelegs, but the hind were crouched to spring and clasp jaws around a throat if there was a misstep.

 

The iron serpent reared up but her cobra's hood stayed down, not that she needed it when she could fling venom from a distance.

 

Adrenaline sang in two sets of veins, _danger, danger._

 

“Ah, the elusive maiden who pulled aside the bastard son and proceeded to kiss him so thoroughly, only to dash away as he wore a mask that had caused her to think he was another. It's rumored he spent much of the evening seeking the coy fox filigree..yes, several bards thought to write terrible poems about it..” The mage coo'd and Vivienne held out her hand, fingers relaxed, wrist ever so delicately held. It was facing upwards, not down. Not offering for a courtly kiss but to draw the elf closer, as if they were currently surrounded by minstrels and frippery instead of horses and dirt. Tavaiya had to admire her for being able to do so.

 

“Jackal, not a fox, Madame. Properly registered and owned as such.” Tavaiya took her hand, stepping into Vivienne's range and tucking the dark fingers against the black of her garbed elbow. And because she simply _could_ “The orange varnish is splendid. It would look garish upon me..but striking.”

 

Vivienne's laughter rang out in carefully controlled bell tones but Tavaiya could feel the tremors into the woman's powers that said it was at least.

 

A decision to work together then, and one perfectly sculpted brow raised on Vivienne's face as she matched Tavaiya's gaze. “I heard of young Lord Seuin's falling.”

 

To show grief would be a forfeit in Vivienne's beloved Game but Tavaiya played along her own rules just as much as not. She smiled fondly and then dropped her voice, private for just them. “Death takes all of us in time, but many nights were spent fondly remembering Lord Bastien and his beloved lady, the one who made Elan actually start to think of dressing in something besides colors that blinded his own dogs.”

 

Vivienne's hand spasmed warningly along her elbow before she sighed. The power coils shifted and now it felt almost supportive. “Beloved lady?”

 

“To us, there was never any doubt.” Truth laced her tone for one needed only to watch the lord and his mistress to know that there was a love that if not kept so quiet would have made Cassandra's whole world. They had been some of the few to know the truth, two eager eyed teens forced to play host to an older man and his mistress.

 

“...thank you for keeping quiet.”

 

“One does not show the most prized manuscript to the light, darling.” Tavaiya drawled in perfect mimicry of Vivienne's statement years ago.

 

Another bell like laugh, she helped the woman upon her steed and sought out her own. Oh, handling the woman would be dangerous but they were going about this with an even understanding of what was and would not be spoken of.

 

“So what's this about poems from your kissing?” Varric asked in amusement as he rode over to her. She snickered. “No seriously, Secrets, it's all over the underbelly and taverns this morning when I went for a bit of the 'hair o the nug'. Though I'd describe you a lot less as 'gilded temptress and curves spilling out'...”

 

“They're painting me as a human?” Tavaiya asked curiously and he shrugged, grinning.

 

“And that's the part you look at. Yes, no one believes you were an elf but you did have your ears hidden under all those curls you pinned up. You'd think they'd know to look for the shoes..”

 

“I had a message to retrieve. I got it, and a bit too much time with the messenger.”

 

“That bad?”

 

Tavaiya made a face. “I'd have thought he was _Ferelden_.”

 

The reference was not lost on Varric as it was a line from his own stories about how Ferelden women and men most likely kissed like their dogs, all teeth, tongues, and drool. He roared in laughter. Curious glances went their way but Varric and Tavaiya were riding point, and easily avoided them.

 

“You often pass messages like that? If so maybe I should see about writing a few secrets down..”

 

“Rarely. Though being close makes it easy. A sleight of hand and there's paper in the bands, a belt, pocket..the gloves sometimes. Just handing it over is something they look for but few are such voyeurs to watch the rest.”

 

Tavaiya had no idea she had been spied on the night before, if so she may have been laughing because never did Damian tell her things outwardly. He liked little ciphers and codes slipped against her skin to decipher and burn later. There was a point to being so handsy with each other. And so the apostate had no idea that the ones he had watched had passed on courses of action and things to mention should she find any of the crow's contacts. Now memorized and the ashes long gone with the morning's fire to heat the room.

 

“So, Vivienne is who you go for Secrets?”

 

“I figured another rogue would be more forgiving, and she's the sort of uppity mage who takes _everything_ as a personal slight.”

 

Varric's snort agreed with her. “Just a warning, Sera is all sorts of not right in the head. From some Red Jenny group and the fact she doesn't acknowledge that it should be plural and Red Jennies just riles me up.”

 

Tavaiya blinked several times. “Oh. They're rather infamous especially in the alienage. Mix of all races that do lots of work for very weird pay off..but still they'll do things that the chevaliers and sort ignore setting to rights.”

 

“You never met her?”

 

“No. Thank you for your vote of confidence Varric but I'm not _everywhere_ that's what contacts are for.”

 

“Ha! I could drink to that.”

 

“You can drink to everything.”

 

“Got your flask?”

 

Tavaiya handed it over.

 

 


	11. Back to Haven we go

AN: Updated earlier so if you missed one click back.

 

Added an image of Tavaiya. Sort of. She's being secretive but it's the first drawing I did of her and I can kind of make out her smirk behind her hand right between the parted fingers. Actually suits her. The brat.

 

Also if there's something cheerful to write as a what if or that you want me to try and sketch let me know because I am going to warn all of you I'm going very uncharted territory and dragging your hearts through the mud when we get to Redcliffe next chapter. It will be three massive chapters and you won't get much of the humor so enjoy it now.

()()()()()()()()

 

“So you're the kooky bitch?”

 

Tavaiya wanted credit for not gutting the rogue who snuck up on her. As it was she had tackled Sera off her feet, tied with wire, and face first in the dirt as she sat on her before anyone knew what was going on. Including Sera.

 

The response was for Tavaiya to get up, look down at her, twist her head one side to the other as she hummed in thought after at least rolling Sera onto her back. “You're _good._ Had no idea you were there.”

 

“HA! Yer all right for a curly head! Ya figured while ya were all “ooh tent gotta put up the tent “I'd getcha. But ya got me dinnae ya? So lemme out? Wire? Kinky aren't ya?” All of this was said without Sera taking a breath and despite her best efforts, Tavaiya was chuckling.

 

“I got you, stop wriggling so I can get you out without hurting you and..hm. Maybe. Shhhh. I don't think they heard you down at the Hinterlands.”

 

“I see you've met our newest member.” Solas said as he walked over, voice pleasant despite the way that Sera stuck out her tongue at him. It may have been seeing how utterly the mouthy one had been subdued.

 

“Pfft. Lemme look at ya curly elfyelf..” Sera finally got to her feet and hands on her hips gave a very slow, obvious, glance over Tavaiya. Shrugging and then with a cheeky grin, they were in camp after all and if the whole party wasn't watching she'd kiss one of the horses..Tavaiya turned slowly, arms out.

 

“Got a long enough look?”

 

“Well the clothes are in the way but..” Sera grinned and did the silliest eyebrow wiggle Tavaiya had seen since Elan.

 

“While I thank you for the compliment, I prefer mine to be the only breasts in play.” Tavaiya grinned back at Sera and bit hard on the inside of her cheek at the explosion of magic from three mages. Oh great. They were multiplying. Tam's humming had gone loud and undulating and she could hear his laughing off with Varric to the side. Cassandra's ripened fruit scent from her templar abilities had still spiked, almost venturing into vinegar territory with increasing strength but she also knew her lovely friend tended to just disapprove of anything that made her act in a way she thought unseemly in public. In private? Well they'd been exchanging tales and story books. Enough said there. Vivienne's iron control had all but been like someone yanking on the strings of a corset as she forced herself not to laugh.

 

As much as Tavaiya wished she could ignore Solas's reaction..the best she could do was pretend that it was a colder night out and focus past all the ways he overwhelmed her senses. She was at least learning to operate with them constantly distracting her in the background.

 

“They are a lovely pair.” Sera agreed, kindly and with no fuss. Clearly she was a simple woman in the sense of only going where she wanted and not wasting time. Tavaiya could appreciate that. “Only elves? You one of those elfy all for the glory of the empire bints?”

 

“The Elvhenan fell, the Elves today are what we make of ourselves and too many snap their necks looking only backwards.” Tavaiya answered honestly. “I was raised to just think of everyone as people as much as possible, though I have a love for history I also know I live closer to tomorrow than yesterday.” A gesture towards the blades at her waist. “You know?”

 

“I know.” Sera said and there was a serious flash to the blonde's eyes, a tightening of the jaw. They were two city elves who one from the gutter and the other worn velvet had been able to make something of themselves. Two who chose the path of guile and deceit and shadows and recognized then in the other a core of loyalty that would not yield. Not break.

 

“So...Sera?” Sera said and pointed at herself.

 

“Tavaiya.” She answered with a nod.

 

“Red Jenny.” Sera offered then and grinned widely.

 

“Jackal.” Tavaiya offered with a mock bow.

 

Another pause and pretending their banter was _not_ the attention of those around, and the tiniest spark to both women's eyes betrayed yes they were fully aware the serious apostate was right there and being ignored and this was _fun_.

 

“I know of you.” They said at the same time and fell into giggles. Even Vivienne's watching did not temper Tavaiya, she was a thing of the wilds and making a decision for clearly Vivienne would not share a tent and Sera did not think to bring one, she turned.

 

“Cassandra, can we keep her?”

 

“Oi! What am I a pet!?”

 

“You found it, you clean up after it.” Cassandra deadpanned.

  
“Technically my lethal friend you found her, I've just decided we should let her room with us.” Grinning, and pleased to be unusually tall for an elf she leaned on Sera, using her head as an arm rest. “Safer you know? Pranks seem to slip out of this one like your faith does you, Cass. She won't prank where she sleeps.”

 

“Don't challenge me puppy.”

 

“Mmmm. What happened to bitch? I thought you were the pet, Red?” Tavaiya looked down and then blinked. Sera was not complaining because Sera was getting an eyeful and the whole rest of the group seemed to figure that out at the same time Sera grabbed her waist and pulled her in for a laughing hug. Planting her face lower to be right at eye level. Sera was a _short_ elf and knew to take advantage.

 

“Pffft you're all right elfy!”

()()()()()()()

 

The trip saw a lot of going at full speed, stopping early for Vivienne and a whole slew of insanity between Sera and each of the party members that generally went right into 'we are never speaking of this' territory. She even got Cassandra in on one prank involving a plant that gave Varric gas being slipped into his part of the stew!

 

Tam eventually remembered how to breathe thanks to an excessive amount of laughter when they were two nights out of Haven. Camping had been easy and led to everyone settling in with set jobs, Tavaiya would distract Sera until later when the last of the rambunctious smaller elf's energy was mellowed and then they would join them with whatever the two had shot down. Varric kept looking over at Sera and Tavaiya who were signing away, though at points one or the other would lean in and whisper and sometimes the dwarf would flush bright scarlet and others he'd start scribbling away in his book.

 

The herald gave in. “Do I want to know?”

 

“Actually almost all of it is relating past pranks or heists or the like. Some are pretty interesting though I see why Secrets there told us Blabber is more known for a lot of effort for weird things. Some of the remarks though go into some very ah..suggestive..ideas and they keep going back and forth on that.”

 

“Suggestive? As to what to do instead?” Tam asked and even Cassandra scoffed at him. She hadn't done that in a while.

 

“I suppose considering their youth it is not such a surprise they have focus in only one area.” Solas drawled.

 

That it was Vivienne who argued with him was entirely believable, on the topic? Not so much. “Oh that's where you are wrong, Master Solas..” Turning the very word of Master into an insult with the faintest of tones was quite a skill. “The bards do adore her when she comes out to play, but that's because no one has _caught_ the Jackal. Indeed the rumors of many who have tasted her lips fall curiously silent as to those who may have actually seen her bare.” Vivienne's gaze went to her nails, fresh coat of orange gleaming upon them. “The Fox was caught by the empress in a snare she wove all her own and gave up her heart and that gossip alone still fuels the courts when between scandals, but the Jackal is dangerous in a different way and will not fall to traps. If she's a lover somewhere I daresay only she knows. She was an unruly wild thing even when I knew her before she'd earned that name. Respectful but only when she wishes to be.” Vivienne's lips curved darkly, dangerously.

 

“Tread carefully with that one, gentlemen, Seeker. For what you see right now is but a part of a glittering jewel but she is one cut precisely and not a rough tumbled stone. Make no mistake.” Vivienne remained fond of the rogue. She had finally bloomed and the rough edges that had been there when she had advised the girl once, a girl who had managed to procure a rare book for the enchantress and thus Vivienne felt she was one of _hers_. A girl who had asked about her relationship with Bastien the questions that were innocent of heart in those blue eyes. It was a precious memory to the Knight Enchanter. Everyone assumed with her different features that she had seduced Bastien and then forced him to acknowledge her.

 

“Was he afraid of you when he fell in love with your mind, or was it your wit first?” Had been what the teenager had voiced, helping to lace her into her evening dress. The simple assumptions had won Vivienne over. If she had realized Elan had fallen a summons would have been sent by the woman the next day to call the Jackal to her side. As it was, she recognized the playful loyalty she was giving to the Herald. It was not yet, not the dangerous loyalty she had for Elan. Tavaiya could still walk away though she would send others to look over him. There was time for Vivienne to work her skills and try to lure the golden creature to her own court.

 

“You were angry when you learned Elan had been a mage.” Solas pointed out and the two were back to sniping at each other.

 

“A danger. And when he knew I was there! I could have instructed him, but I suppose that our little jackal is correct when she claims he was weak, for I never felt the Fade in him.”

 

“What was he like?” Tam asked and Vivienne was suddenly all too aware of how their voices could carry. Still, this topic was easy. Perhaps she could curry favor even.

 

“His eyes wandered anywhere that was a low cut blouse with an ample bossom and he was tall and broad as Ferelden noblemen tend to be, and just as loud. He fought well if I recall, if a touch more the brute it still worked for him. Startled first blows and keeping them off balance. It was when he worked in tandem that he was used to. On his own I dare say he was but a glimmer of the brilliance our Lady Seeker holds.”

 

“Elan expected a rogue at his back.” Tavaiya said, having slipped the long way around in the shadows and smirking as everyone jumped. Sera was off looking for bees. The loveable dolt. “He was so used to me he used to say he could sense me.” And this was too much to tell, too close to home but she was wrapped in power and settled down. Her shoulder almost touching Solas's leg as she flopped to the ground rather then sit on the log as so many others chose, her free leg stretching out and nudging Tam's foot with her own.

 

“Sense you?” Varric said and bless him, for all he did not know he did it turned her damning phrase into something to shrug off. “Yeah used to be like that with Hawke. Woman would somehow know where I was aiming and dodge. Usually I worry I may put a bolt through someone the first few times. Never Hawke. Never worried she'd have me blasted out of the way either, she always considered where I was before flinging spells.”

 

“Is that a common thing? Yanno with rogues?” Tam asked and looked down at Tavaiya. She tilted her head back to better meet his gaze and smiled.

 

“No idea. I know the longer I fight alongside each of you the less I have to dodge. I suppose we learn how each other's bodies move.”

()()()()()()()

 

The rogue didn't seem aware that her hair was all but falling into his lap Solas noticed. With Sera away, once more the woman was there and comfortable around them. It seemed for whatever reason, and despite his barb to the contrary it was evident there was nothing but mischief the two women shared when alone, but she almost seemed to use Sera as a buffer.

 

Dark golden curls falling near his fingers made Solas wonder what she would look like if instead of her rough braid, he twisted them into the patterns he remembered warriors of both genders had been fond of. Indeed, once, he had long braids and only kept the sides shaved and the locks were so intricately done it would have taken magic to do. It was in itself, a status symbol. But the early forms, those braids, would his fingers remember?

 

His attention slid back to the conversation which somehow was on the difference between circle mages and dalish, and yet Tavaiya tilted her head back. Throat bared to him and locked eyes.

 

She rolled her blue eyes and Solas felt himself smile and an eyebrow raise.

 

“Are they boring you, da'len?”

 

“Enough I'm tempted to ask you to teach me something purely of nonsense to say in Elvhen.”

 

That did make him chuckle, her remarks on how little she would do the language service was after all, still a memory of his so he was curious what she thought of as nonsense. “Such as?”

 

“You don't speak Antivan..ah...” She paused and then rolled the words around slowly in her thoughts. “Hm, trying to translate the insults makes it seem really weird all of a sudden..”

 

“Oh?”

 

Tavaiya's lips quirked and she twisted, arm resting on the log and now proping up her face, her legs tugged behind her and yet Solas enjoyed the realization she was giving him her full attention. He was still very much male after all. “Mostly relating to inappropriate things one can do with various objects or a great deal of sexual frustration without payoff. Naughty Antivans.”

 

“Somehow, I deeply suspect it is not so bad as what you think.”

 

“{Small things like..May your frustrations never find release no matter whom aides you, may your laces not come undone when a hand goes to grasp you where most you require the touch. Your dreams end before the climax..}” Tavaiya smirked then and translated and Solas was pleasantly surprised that even if exactly what she was saying was...lewd and discomforting, the translation was as exact as could be.

 

He was also, ridiculously entertained that they were having this conversation while the other party was now all too busy laughing at Madame de Fer's sordid tales of courtly intrigue and had no idea what Tavaiya had just said at his side. A tiny, very subtle slip of his magic into an old spell, done ever so carefully to avoid the notice of Vivienne and anything they said until he dismissed it would be just that much harder to catch. They were, in plain sight after all and he never had gotten the chance to fluster Tavaiya under the Seeker's attention during the sharing of battle humor.

 

“It seems that the insult on the dreams is a terrible one indeed, to one whom walks the Fade as I do.”

 

Tavaiya blinked at him and the tilt of her head, showed a slight bruising to one ear. He frowned and was reaching out before asking permission. “What happened?”

 

“The messenger didn't like playing the part.” She said with a frown. “Serves him right to end up the fool in the bardic gossip for it.”

 

Solas hand stilled. He remembered the argument with the crow she'd had over a messenger who could not kiss, a lover to the crow. That the next day tales were about of how she'd kissed him so utterly he sought her ought and felt his lips curve. Courtly intricacies had always been amusing. “From rumors, you made him pay for it..I could heal that if you want? Though I am surprised you've not used any of your strange concoction.”

 

Tavaiya grimaced. “If you would? Unfortunately too many potions can have side effects and I'm unable to use mine for a while. I am saving the regular ones for something else until then.”

 

“You should have told me, da'len..” He chided her softly but wasted no time in gently running his fingers over the sensitive location of her ear. At least it had been her lobe, but still, the ears of elves had always been sensitive. He was treated to her biting her lip and shivering as magic flowed over her, and tried not to smirk. He'd been teased plenty though she'd no idea she had been watched for part of it, and so Solas moved his finger from lobe to the tip of her ear, slowly. Healing magic moving as teasingly soft as he could make it.

 

As if against her will her hand snapped to his wrist when he went to lift the lobe slightly and check it had fully recovered. Caught, he waited, silver eyes locked to blue that had the yellow ring around her iris's evident. Her cheeks were flushed and with such a small use of his magic, it made his smirk all the more wicked, aware that they were just slightly obscured, the magic of his earlier spell deflecting attention. “Everything all right...? Or having second thoughts about my using magic on you? I believe you had said I could..use my magical touch upon you when I wanted?”

 

“Solas...” Tavaiya growled a soft warning but he was enjoying turning her little game on her.

 

“Yes, Tavaiya?”

 

The shift to her eyes was sudden, once more from shaking and startled to predatory. A smirk was his only warning before she turned, eyes never leaving his own and pressed a kiss to his wrist in his grasp. It was soft, faintest brush of lips but his fingers felt the wayward curls of her hair falling and he hummed. Not discouraging, not encouraging. Just watchful.

 

He did not expect the second kiss to his wrist, the parted lips to his pulse or the gentlest scraping of her teeth and then touch of her tongue before she vanished without a sound into the shadows.

 

That was a game he knew, it was a predators move. Circle, strike, retreat...it until now, had always been _his way._ He was entirely entertained that a little mortal rogue was now using it on him. He dispelled the magic and settled back to observe the conversation with none the wiser as he thought on the little puzzle.

 

It was as if she left behind an after image of her laughter though he did not hear, it he somehow _knew._

 


	12. Redcliffe Part 1

AN: Part 1 of 3. Redcliffe. But first because they are impossible, a little Wolf/Jackal bickerflirting. That's a term for them now.

 

()()()()()()()

After everyone had claimed a part of Haven for their own had settled in with Vivienne having sent off for many luxuries right away and Sera just going to find a cozy spot at the Inn, Tam spent a few days with his war council and worked on ensuring the growing inquisition would all have the needed supplies. Though he was arguing, passionately, about what group he wanted to take to Redcliffe and that he did not desire it to be a small group he was losing.

 

“Herald.” Leliana finally sighed but her lips were soft with amusement, perhaps even proud to see Tam not just meekly going along with something. “There is an Arl, it is a known holding. If you march on it armed -which with any group larger than four will be seen as- it is going to go terribly.”

 

“What if there's a second one that goes before us?”

 

Leliana's eyes swept over him and the dalish boy blushed. He did have some good ideas, she didn't need to act like they were all insane. Although perhaps the one about uniforms that he'd stated out snarkily was a bit on the crazy side. Seriously though she'd woken him in the middle of the night and wanted to ask about uniforms for the group to wear, with a happy perky Josephine. His remark of 'how about something I can wake up for this kind of thing in and no one will know the difference?' Had not been popular. The topic had been dropped for now. “You are thinking of sending in the three rogues. On their own.”

 

“They're used to hiding. Being silent. I want to bring Vivienne and Solas because they are mages and have a vested interest, and Cassandra because she is a good foil to those of us who may get too emotional.” Tam explained. He had lots of friends now with an array of skills and was trying to learn something from each of them. It helped that Vivienne's methods did make a great deal of sense. They were almost mathematical and with a little of Solas's feel this instinctive part? He did think it was hilarious that neither mage seemed to realize they both viewed honing the body as an important component of being skilled at casting. He was still going to pay to have either of them fight against Tavaiya some day.

 

As it had turned out approaching her in the quietest pre-dawn hours about training had been met not only with agreement but her promptly dragging him out far away where they would not be heard. Tam couldn't recall the last time he had been this sore but he was almost positive it had involved an Aravel falling on him.

 

“That..could work.give me a day to work on it. They could easily set out later and draw fewer eyes, riding at a greater pace would show a day or so ahead.” Leliana smirked knowingly then and gazed over his form where Tam was unconsciously rubbing a shoulder. “Best go. If you miss the afternoon session you will hurt later, this should just be stretches and the like. Maybe.”

 

“She's wonderful but evil. I think making it where I don't want to move is how she's ensuring a break.” Tam groaned but decided to listen to the woman.

 

As he moved through the town it struck him that he was comfortable here. It was strange how Haven was starting to feel like home. It was a solid location, something he wasn't used to and a little more of why his elders spoke wistfully of the idea of the great Elvhenan made more sense. It felt good to have a place to return to. Even if they weren't his people, and he oddly had come to miss the smell of halla.

 

“Herald.” Solas called a greeting as he saw him pass nose in a book, Tam nodded and then blinked. You know what..if Solas could swing his staff around like nothing maybe he could still get landed on his backside so wouldn't judge. And having a healer there would be a help.

 

“Hello Solas. Come with? I'm trying to train physically to work better with my magic but maybe you can tell if I do something on accident..”

 

“Considering the last time you almost lit all of us on fire, and you merely were attempting a barrier..probably for the best.” Solas agreed and snapped his book closed, tucking it into his bag. Tam smiled at the bald elf as he fell into step. It was weird how tall Solas was, but if Tavaiya herself wasn't on the taller side it would have bothered him more. A city elf thing perhaps? Solas had claimed hailing from a village far to the north and Tavaiya thanks to Elan had never lacked in food or care so maybe they could all be taller? Well no, clan Lavellan had never really struggled to feed the group. Perhaps it was just as random as the color of ones hair or eyes.

 

“Thank you. Though you would think my bursts of uncontrolled magic would be long over..feel like a little one just cracking his voice again..”

 

It apparently startled a chuckle out of Solas and Tam grinned, blushing at the silent look of amusement from the elder that clearly stated 'you're still a da'len to me'. Were all hahren the same the world over? “Well it's true.”

 

“You are using your magic far more, tapping far deeper into the fade then you are used to. Learning to handle those skills is much like pushing your muscles with simple exercises, you will adjust.”

 

“Simple exercises?” Tam asked and had to force himself not to laugh at seeing Solas turn to him, puzzled.

 

“That is what you are doing, are you not? Basic movements?”

 

“Okay..you know what.. _you_ say that to Tavaiya. Please.”

 

That infamous brow was up but Solas nodded. When they had reached the furthest training ground he saw Tavaiya was twirling a knife, and despite the cold of the snow she was barely garbed. No wonder she was so very far away from where anyone would be able to observe. The jerkin and light armor were gone, just the under leggings and one of her more fitted sleeveless tunics. Her wild hair was pulled into the tightest braid he'd ever seen and then looped around itself in a way that said Cassandra had probably done it for her as it looked just like the Seeker's, and she had a faint glow of sweat to her.

 

“Am I too early?” Tam asked, and was treated towards seeing her toss her knife in the air and catch it. Without looking. Rogues were creepy.

 

“No, I was just playing.”

 

“Knife throwing.” Solas drawled and something in his tone made Tam think of poking a bear. Was it just that Solas enjoyed picking on everyone?

 

“Hmmm..” Tavaiya didn't rise to the bait though and turned to them fully. “Ready?”

 

“Yeah. Leliana thought I'd be doing stretches..Solas had other ideas.” He shamelessly threw his friend under the carriage.

 

“For some reason when I mentioned basic exercises he gave me an expression as if I had just insulted his halla.” Solas agreed and Tam was thrilled.

 

Tavaiya looked like she'd been hit over the head, then her eyes narrowed and her voice got that edge that always made his magic tilt as if trying to tell him to move away. It was weird how that happened. He had yet to bring it up to Solas or Vivienne because the odds where this was something he should have learned a long time ago.

 

“Basic? When Tam has a hand that glows and somehow was spawned in the event that killed a beloved religious icon and my best friend, that same hand that draws demons and danger to him just by walking around. That same elf whom has until now fought in battles and we have walked out alive because he doesn't shirk from that thrust upon him..and you think I shall what, treat him as a coquette in her first stockings?”

 

Solas did not seem amused at her tone, imagine that. “I assumed you would train him as you likely learned.”

 

Tavaiya shrugged. “No, because he doesn't have my instincts and we don't have the time for him to learn like that. Plus I'm pretty certain kidnapping and poisoning the herald is frowned on. But in one way yes..though it is hardly what one generally dubs basic..” Tavaiya smirked and flicked out that knife..Tam knew that knife. He did not like that weapon. At all. It was dulled but it hurt when he was struck with it. A training weapon so he could become used to dodging lethal blows without actually dying. “Running is basic. So is dodging..staff down, robe off.” Tavaiya then turned and in giving Solas her back utterly dismissed him. Tam was looking in his direction and so he saw his very proud friend grimace and stiffen.

  
They snipped at each other but only if they put down the other's skills really, or side stepped things. It didn't surprise Tam though, indirectly Solas had insulted her and Tam had aired that out before Solas did something stupid in a week or two and make the comment and piss Tavaiya off. Because if he had let that build up the odds of Solas being left bound and gagged somewhere in just his small clothes has gone way up since Sera entered the picture. The two were oddly at each other's backs, Sera had at first been shunned by many of Leliana's more serious scouts and spies and not included in their practices. Tavaiya had apparently gone after them for it and now with shooting competitions and working to learn better how to pick locks, Sera was kept busy. Varric had laughingly said the smaller blonde now felt she owed Tavaiya and would be playing mabari for her, so the chance of Solas being pranked if something went wrong? Very high. Though getting this handled now meant Tavaiya was in a mood and she was about to fight him. Yay.

 

“Am I blocking or do I just dodge?” Tam asked and for good measure yanked off his tunic as well. He did not need her to have anything to grab. Last time she'd almost strangled him with his own shirt. On purpose.

 

“Would you prefer hand to hand?”

 

“Yes.” Tam blurted out and then felt a chill go down his spine.

 

“Tam Rasha Lavellan..it is time you realized any fighter, be they rogue or warrior, is a weapon with their forms not their metal and wooden contraptions. A good choice, but you're going to hate me..” Tavaiya said and for honor's sake (and to prevent instinct making her draw a good weapon on her friend during practice) pulled off her belt with the knives. The ones in her foot wraps went next, the two on her fore arms, the one hidden in her breast band...the one at her back. Even a coil of that wire she liked was in her _hair_.

 

“Such an arsenal.” Solas teased her. “And these are when dressed down? It seems your rumors of being seductive would take a hit if undoing your gear took so long each time.”

 

Tavaiya didn't even look back, ignoring Solas. Instead she nodded at Tam, focused. “Be aware Tam, if I get a hand on you, you will lose.”

 

“...Fenedhis..”

()()()()

 

He fell. A lot. Tavaiya could still move and dart about, she stayed out of stealth but a blow from her felt so hard it may as well have been with one of her blades. She was so fast he sometimes all but threw himself out of the way but that set him up for a counter attack she'd make and so that didn't work. He learned swiftly not to block with his forearms and stand there. To move. To hold still meant landing in the snow again. Not moving his feet meant snow.

 

There was a lot of snow. And he was cold and shivering but grinning because even though she was definitely holding back, it was Tavaiya taking him seriously and she knew a mage could do this. Had trained with Elan in this way and all that said to Tam was if it worked for a weak mage it would be even better for him. Several times Solas stepped up and healed dislocated limbs and a broken finger for Tam, and one time he was just dazed.

 

“Have you played in the snow enough yet?”

 

“Yeah..I'm.. tired now.” Tam agreed with a slur and Tavaiya chuckled at him but nodded.

 

“It'll get easier, when you least expect it if you stick with it.”

 

“What were you practicing before?” Tam asked as he gratefully slipped into his robe. Solas wasn't the sort to complain but he was clearly entertained having watch the herald be tossed about. The elder apostate had pointedly _not_ healed the many bruises.

 

“Knife skills. Silly thing I learned from an entertainer and changed to suit me instead a long time ago.” She waved it off. “Every so often I have to be certain I'm still limber enough for it.”

 

“Limber to play with knives?”

 

Tavaiya blinked and then looked down at her outfit, shrugged and then her knife was _moving._ Up and over and twisting around in ever changing circles as she threw it around, catching and releasing. Behind her back and to the side, twisting her wrists and then dipping slightly as she tossed it the next time it was to go just a bit further back..and she did a back spring landing just in time to straighten and catch it.

 

A wink, Tavaiya sheathed her blade and then went to tug on her gear. “Yes.”

 

“Okay. That was pretty neat. Someday I want to see you do that when I'm not focusing on being upright...but I'm going to be super sore and I doubt Solas want's to heal me anymore...?” Solas shook his head, but he was smiling and Tam sighed. “ I'm off to find food...drinks tonight?”

 

“Sera will be there, so no. I need a quiet night.” Tavaiya said and Tam didn't ask. She hadn't really run off on them much lately and even in Val Royeaux it had been for his benefit.

 

“We're leaving Haven in a few days. I want to do two separate parties..” He explained the breakdown and Tavaiya nodded. “Since you'll be down a member I didn't know if you would need another..or..?”

 

“We are rogues, darling Dalish.” Tavaiya smirked at him and crossed her arms. “Three of us given the right circumstances could take down an army.”

 

“Do not let yourself fall into needless bravado..” Came Solas's words, a bit sharper than Tam thought they needed but there had been an edge to the two of them lately. Maybe they'd had an argument? Or just being ignored so much had ruffled Solas's pride. He felt an idiot even thinking that. Of course someone named pride would not like being dismissed constantly.

 

“Mmm..” Tavaiya smirked and then spread her arms, the jerkin and armor still open and the tunic clinging to her from the sweat. “Going to _punish_ me so I behave?”

 

“Hardly.” Solas drawled and the way he said the next words took a twist on the elvhen that Tam did not know for an accent. _“/Naughty children are always more entertaining../”_

 

“Hahren she doesn't speak the language at all yet..” Tam tried to gently suggest and instead it seemed they were having a disagreement that had been brewing for a while. Neither hearing him. Tam was fairly certain that was Antivan that Tavaiya was using but he barely spoke the language of his people and Antivan he'd only been learning the words for food and drink.

 

“{You hope that your words in that tongue will fluster me?}”

 

“ _/Ah, Da'len if you had any idea what I could do to you with just my **words**../”_

 

“Yeah no one is listening to me..” Tam groaned and felt his ears going red. Even if he could only understand a few words of Solas, the tones the two were using made him uncomfortable. “I'm going to go...sneak away now..can it be called sneaking?” As he spoke he took tiny steps away. Tavaiya's eyes flickered over him and she gave a wink before turning back to Solas. Taking the encouragement he abandoned the two clearly having a discussion he wasn't part of without knowing what the other was actually saying. Crazies. What was with everyone and teasing in suggestive ways anyways? Definitely something that was with these non Dalish elves.

()()()()()()()

 

She should have broken off and gone with Tam. She didn't. The hoarfrost had become all but second nature to her now, always curling around her senses in the lightest of ways and the honeywine warmed her at the same time as the frost chilled. Solas took a step towards her with that strange gait he had, always stepping like he was trying not to leave tracks. His voice had changed with this language, and how he spoke ancient elvhen told her indeed she would not be able to master it as he did. There was a way his magic warped, as if to another way of being used entirely when he spoke, providing an accent she felt more than heard. She didn't know how to describe it.

 

“ _/Taunting and teasing, but you are only making it easier to track you little predator../”_ Solas's voice poured out and then he dipped his head. His eyes locked on her own as if for whatever reason he could not fathom blinking, mayhaps eye contact was part of the old way they spoke. She didn't know.

 

She had a funny suspicion and a rogue's instincts generally were to be given full attention..wasn't he able to walk the fade? To learn in it? He was just nosy enough, would he have tried to learn Antivan? Well let's mislead him in case. If so then it would be back to really annoying ciphers when sending word to her contacts.

 

“{You know for all I am unaware of that old tongue I am guessing from your tone you are criticizing my fighting methods. Or perhaps you are speaking about either the things you'd like to do to our herald...or the things you'd like to do to me. In which case I think not speaking your language is going to be dangerous to my sanity as it is sinful on the ears.}” Solas did not react outwardly but the frost shattered and reformed. Amusement that shot through and cast the crystalline forms her minds eye pictured into a resplendent dance of light.

 

Gotcha.

 

Still Tavaiya gave no sign outwardly that she realized he had understood at least some of what she'd said. She could find a way to use this against him in time. Misdirection was classic sleight of hand and every city elf who had needed to distract or pick a pocket learned to some degree. She just now had the advantage of whatever she said in Antivan, Solas would assume was not meant for him to hear if she could keep from revealing her awareness of his comprehension. And then the male spoke in that fade accented tone and her thoughts attempted to scatter.

 

“ _/Shall I then? Would you like to hear the many ways I could have you begging when the merest trace of my healing magic, indeed my fingers upon just your ear had you so flustered last time, da'len? So much more affected then you wish to be? Though it is pleasant to know I have not lost my touch. You are toying with something dangerous./”_

 

“{Hmmm..Glance upon the gap between the stars, that darkened sky, for brightness tis not the only way..}” Tavaiya began, at some point the two of them had stepped closer, so she had to ever so slightly tilt her head to look up at him. Not even an inch of height difference between the two and she curved her lips. Since supposedly he didn't know what she was saying, though the almost tangible wrap of ice along her skin at her wrist, mimicking when she'd kissed his a few nights before said he was most interested in her words and where they'd lead. This was proving a bit too much in the temptation department. “{To them have I whispered words of sins, that I bear to this day.' It's how Antiva works you know..every crow's contact has a sonnet we use to identify. That's part of mine..not that you'd understand my words of course. Perhaps you think I'm commenting on the curve of your arms, the strength in your hands? The way your eyes gleam when you draw on your magic?}”

 

Too much. Too far. That cursed honeywine of his power may as well be draughts of the real stuff for how it worked on her turning the reactions he had to Tavaiya's words back on her in a way that left her needing to yield this encounter.

 

Tavaiya winked at him and moved away herself before she did something foolish. The feeling of Solas's eyes on her, smug knowing she was retreating before he'd even needed a response; and the lingering pull from his magic lasted long after she disappeared into the building she lived in. Being without the mages, any of them, for the time it took to travel to Redcliffe was going to feel very strange, that was for certain. Unpleasant to adapt to and Tavaiya wondered..

 

What would she do when the breach was closed and they all went their own way again?

 

()()()()()()()()

 

In the dead of night, a good six hours after the first group left, the three rogues rode out. In contrast Sera and Tavaiya's voices were raised in lilting songs that wove up and over each other. Neither had a good ear, neither really could carry a tune. What they made up for though was heart felt joy as the wind flowed over their skin and tousled their hair. Varric eventually took up the wordless undulations wondering where Tavaiya got it from as she was the main one building it up and then allowing it to fade out. She couldn't tell them it reminded her of Elan and Tam's magic both, that it helped her feel a little less loss. Only six hours away from the mages and she felt..less whole. It was not a good sign, and sadly the only cure for withdrawal in any substance was to be away from it.

 

They rode hard. Fast. The songs replaced by the melody of three archers felling enemies before they even got close. Bianca, Sera and Tavaiya's bows all calling out their own music. By the dawn, Varric seemed to have gotten the hang of firing while still in his saddle. Sera had fumbled a little still but it was her aim that was off, and that she could learn to handle. Both of them still had to stop their horses and fire. Sera whooped in delight though the first time that they watched Tavaiya drop the reins, steering just with her legs and not ceasing in the full run as she struck bandits down.

 

“Where'd ya learn ta do that!” Sera had chortled as they dismounted for a quick looting.

 

“I'll help you get the hang of it, Red. Had a bet going.” She grinned up. “My archery teacher said if I could learn to shoot from horseback she'd have to pony up for any jewelry I wanted long as she'd never have to see it again.”

 

“How's that work, Secrets?” Varric asked and then grinned, holding up a fat coin purse. “Drinks when this is over are on the bandits.”

 

Tavaiya thought for a minute then smirked and tapped her left breast. “Easy. I wear it here.”

 

“Lemme see later?” Sera didn't miss a beat. Nor did she mind how Tavaiya just laughed and got back on her horse as Varric piped up an agreement.

 

“Convince me you two, without saying a word to anyone else..and I just may!”

 

“Time limit on the not telling?”

 

“Two weeks.”

  
“Four if you answer one question.” Varric said and though she had a good idea what it was, especially when after a whisper Sera was nodding, Tavaiya nodded. “You got a matched set?”

 

“Of jewelry? No. Piercings? Yes.”

 

They set back off and it wasn't until they made rough camp at dawn, not even setting up a tent so much as just bed rolls and tying horses, taking turns on watch but at least no need was out of fire. “Hey Varric..” Tavaiya whispered as she lay down next to the dwarf, Sera off a ways looking out. “Cassandra's seen them. Said she liked the idea and maybe would consider her own. Sweet dreams!”

 

“You are _**evil**_ , Secrets.”

()()()()()()()()()()()

 

“Something's gone all wrong n not okay!” That came from Sera. The green of rifts cast over the trio as they had been forced to let the horses flee, unable to keep them around so many demons. It had not been an easy decision but they would either track them down later or try, it wasn't like they could have taken them inside and stayed so hidden anyways.

 

“Besides the mass of demons moving either too fast or slow and the general stench of unwashed humans, blabbers?” Varric asked as Bianca went through another rift spawns eye.

 

“All that..and notice something's not right with bitchy?”

 

“Something's been wrong since we got close to redcliffe. Secrets just seems to be getting worse than we are.” Varric agreed and then talking had to cease for a while. He kicked a flask towards the nearest group of riftspawn coming at them again, they were hovering near yet not inside, one of the strange areas that slowed their opponents. Going into the faster ones was insanity because yes you sped up but your brain couldn't match with it and tended to force you to overshoot or misjudge where to go. Of course that didn't seem to apply to their crazy companion. They tried not to watch her, but she was distracting moving like that.

 

()()()()()()()

 

Tavaiya's instincts were screaming. Loudly, it was like dissonance. It didn't matter, they were being attacked, crackling power and biting claws. A building drum song from the rifts, the sound of many stomping feet, stringed instruments and something else she didn't recognize. It burned into her nerves, that second system she seemed to have and more aware of all the time. Her tongue had long since ceased tasting anything but ash and bile, her eyes watered, her skin felt like it was drenched in swamp water.

 

Blades swept out and back, her feet moved without her direction as Tavaiya gave in to her battle madness and let her instincts take over. It was like back before, the original rift. The breach. The first time all over again and the terrifying part was here as she let her body move as fast as it could, beyond it's usual limits, it honestly felt like she could feel the gaping maw of madness awaiting her. A seductive promise that was almost audible.

 

If she just gave in who knew how fast she could move. Fast enough to keep anyone from striking at the others. Maybe fast enough, powerful enough, that she wouldn't need to worry if they ever figured out her secret..

 

 _She_ didn't call it a secret.

 

Tavaiya would have frozen if not for her many years of hard work and training as her muscles wanted to lock up in horror.

 

She was no mage but somehow she was hearing the temptation from a demon. Her heart began to pound and not from adrenaline as the eerie sensation of claws at the base of her skull, inside her skin..it wasn't real. She knew it was just her second sense acting up but the urge to just fall to her knees and _scream_ was a strong one. This couldn't be happening. Why now? The answer though came to her before the subtle sensation of thoughts that were not hers could happen. Green.

 

The rifts. They couldn't close them, Tam was a days ride behind at least. That meant they could not get these demons to lessen not truly. The horses were long gone. Luckily, Varric was king of recognizing bad situations from his time with Hawke and hollered. “We need to make a break for it! Get inside those walls!”

 

There was no other option. Using every last smoke bomb, screen, flask, and yes Sera even threw the first jar of bees and they ran away at full speed. They needed to stop and fight every so often, Varric was groaning and gasping, shorter legs and heavier frame at a disadvantage but neither woman would even think to suggest taking Bianca from him. Before too long they were safely back away from the rifts and it was just a few moments of Sera branching off before she found an entrance for them. An old forgotten passageway into a house on the edge of Redcliffe. Likely once it had been for an outdoor garden to an old Inn, now it was a shed they timed climbing to drop inside the attic and with a bit of rope and patience, got the dwarf inside as well.

 

“Come nightfall.” He huffed and they nodded, piling together under their cloaks and silently taking turns napping. They needed all the sleep they could get. All towns had secrets, they would discover what Redcliffe's were before Tam and the others arrived. It was all they could do.

()()()()()()()()

 

The second party set out that first day with the sun at it's peak and did not rush as the later one would. Tam, Cassandra, Vivienne, Solas. It was a quiet group, that spoke up briefly perhaps once every few hours; only then did Tam realize how dull it was without a rogue. Perhaps it was something in what drove the ones to the shadows that their personalities burned so bright? Words were not really exchanged, even the sniping of Vivienne having dulled because they knew going to meet with Fiona was important. They had not expected the rifts. The strange way that the demons reacted. Honestly though it was something of a blur to Tam. The endless cycles of battles though with three mages it was..a bit...frightening..how effortlessly they obliterated everything and Cassandra was just a build of wanton destruction in her blows. So that is why mages were so feared. Tam still did not agree with Vivienne's ideas on the circle, it sounded like a prison to him, but he could see where their abilities would frighten those who did not have them.

 

The anchor though. It _burned._ Pulsed and struck at his nerves in a way that was less sheer pain and more made the breath catch. Like he needed to choke and couldn't. The rifts here were just wrong and yet no one was listening to his concerns. The closest they came was to wait and talk to the mages there. Why wait when you were worried about something? It made no sense. Solas had looked about to say something a few times but changed his mind.

 

Childish as it sounded, Tam needed someone just to listen. Even if just to agree with him it was strange. Instead he had two clinical sorts though from different perspectives and dear Cassandra who simply did not understand magic.

 

A hand went to his head in a futile attempt to ease the pressure at his temples as they waited to meet with the mages, Tam closed his eyes. It stung, burned, he almost felt like the anchor wanted to burn into his bones and leave this place. He knew he was talking with Cassandra, with Solas..probably just grunting to whatever Vivienne's words were as she was talking to complex..he felt pale. Ill. Something about this place was _wrong._

 

“Herald.” Cassandra spoke sharply and he looked up. Feeling his eyes blur, stomach clench. “You are not looking well.”

 

“Sorry. Just..feel off.”

 

Solas's magic swept over him without permission and despite a shiver at the intrusion. As another's magic always made it feel like he was being tugged into someones shirt sideways that was far too small, it just didn't fit right, he was grateful. The wash of healing energy helped soothe him, tamed the anchor. His head cleared though Tam did not feel normal still.

 

“You are not ill, but it seems whatever is causing these rifts to act up is having a negative effect on the anchor. Perhaps, da'len, you should be more cautious..or at least inform us when it bothers you.” There was concern beneath the stern tone, one Tam knew. No matter that Tam had tried to bring the topic up, there was reason to guess he hadn't made as much sense with feeling so off as Tam had felt he did. Maybe Solas simply hadn't understood his ramblings?

 

“Of course, Hahren. Ma serranas..”

 

“I will admit something that is not pleasing about this whole..fiasco..well aside from that Fiona is being exceptionally rude rescinding her invite, or truly a fool not having realized she had an imposter out there.” Vivienne sniffed lightly. Her curved neck and huff though belied her serious tone. “I've not seen a single bee or scruffy beast..rather thought such a backwater place to be full of them.”

 

No sign yet of Sera, of Tavaiya. Varric she could hardly mention. It disturbed Tam. It had taken them a while to get here, there was absolutely no doubt that the rogues had overtaken them at some point and should have been here a day or two already doing the shadowy business they did. Where were they?

 

Aimlessly, they wandered a while. In time they could not put off the meeting with the Magister but Tam had this strange sensation they had missed things that were very important. Perhaps more so than they realized. Maybe if he hadn't been feeling so unwell they could have explored better.

()()()()()()()()

 

“Psst.” Came Sera's voice and she managed to slither over, Tam hesitating a moment from following inside the building and finally meet with the man apparently in control. “Good. Look there's some crazy stuff going on here elfy. Varric's up another block, he'll go in with you.”

 

“What of you?” Tam asked softly, glad neither of the other three were interrupting.

 

“Bitchy's out in the outskirts in a hole watchin over some blind mice, I've been looking round n bein sticky fingers. There's bad stuff here. Ain’t right.” Sera was serious, in her Red Jenny mode and her speech made sense. Anyone who was around her long enough could warn you that meant she was _angry._ “We tell you bout it later right? Just..promise nuthin. But if ya gets a chance? Tell that magister 'Just say what' hey?”

 

Tam blinked but with that message and a scowl Sera tugged her hood back down and moved to blend in with the villagers just as their guide came to see what had stalled them. Vivienne's drawl saved them, she was good at that. “Just fixing my shoe, darling. Move on.”

 

Tam was so happy to see Varric alive and well he relaxed. Only to realize Varric wasn't pleased in the slightest. “Bad shit is going down, there's this room..with these skulls. They're doing things to the tranquil. Don't let on about it. We're going to get them all out. Been what's taken up most our time to be honest, smuggling people is always hard. Good thing is while they are focused on you things can be handled.”

 

With that bomb dropped Tam was forced to play nice with the Magister.

()()()()()()()

 

The hole was actually a forgotten half rotted shack on the outskirts, closer to the bridge that had led into Redcliffe. There were a few buildings long forgotten, this one had belonged once to someone recruited by 'Black Company Irregulars' judging from the long worn note that had been found on a shelf. Still, it was a place, they'd loosened a few boards in the side covered by weeds so no one had gone in or out of the nailed shut door. Dust infested the place but you didn't go and run around a hiding spot, you held still and waited, so for them and the wayward mice they'd captured/liberated, it was enough.

 

Tavaiya woke up surrounded by tranquil. She'd been watching over them, her turn with the ones they were smuggling out. Yawning she looked at the one which had shaken her shoulder and nodded once to show she was up. They'd commandeered the old shack and sadly the tranquil did not think to question if it was fit to even sit inside. They still _felt_ to her other senses but it wasn't the same. It made Tavaiya feel wrapped in cotton and silk and sleepy. A comfortable feeling she could see why they were dubbed tranquil. It was precisely what she felt around them, peace, gentle calmness. Rational thought but not emotions.

 

Awake and then going to check on each of them, ensure no one had ventured near, Tavaiya took up watch by the window. The tranquil did not even mill around, they just sat and waited. All of them tended to glance at her though at times and she had a feeling she did not wish to ask why. Not when she was looking at them and they looked too much like simple dolls that moved and breathed. When she could picture the brightness of the mages she knew being snuffed out to this.

 

“You don't like to sleep?” She asked softly instead and the nearest, male, bearded human with a bright sun on his forehead did not even bother to turn to her. She felt her eyes at half mast despite having been just recently asleep herself.

 

“The sleeping is the never ending green. Nothing emerges, nothing changes. A pond without ripples.”

 

“Always the same?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Tavaiya paused, then her lips whispered out something she had never shared outside her family. “Mine are always locked to my memories. I can go back, but I never felt the wonder or the creation others have. And a lot of memories are just dull things like washing clothes.”

 

“You ...understand then.”

 

“That sleep is not an escape? Just a way to rest?”

 

“Yes.”

 

For just a moment Tavaiya could have sworn she felt a flickering from the tranquil but no expression was there. Curious. Could tranquility be worn away?..

 

She swallowed and shoved that idle thought to the back of her mind, just waiting with a mouthful of water to help settle her empty stomach. The food had long since been shared and while she could steal some or Sera or Varric could if not use coin, the amount needed would draw attention. Best to just wait and get out of here as soon as they could. Sera had managed to retrieve the horses at least and had them tied up at a farm not far with a coin for silence and a second for feeding the beasts. It wouldn't help much, but if found later a group of tranquil all in their chantry robes and three members of the inquisition would not draw much attention. Especially because Tavaiya could play stuck up noble, Sera was easily the brash guard, and Varric 'retainer' with his way of smoothing situations over. They'd whispered that plan out again just the night before as the tally of tranquil had risen. It'd be noticed soon.

 

It was hours later of looking out the crack that made the window instead of at the dozen silent forms at her back like drifting ghosts that were just beyond her senses when she saw Varric approach and then slowly the rest of the group came into view. Tavaiya did not remember standing or even racing down the short path, having moved the boards to do so, but she was hugging Cassandra tightly, feeling the pressure of her friend's embrace being returned and then moved to Tam. The void inside her was aching from the presence of the tranquil being there and not and so she did not _care_ how strange her actions seemed.

 

“Darling are you all right?” Vivienne's voice was mocking but it had an undercurrent of concern. Throwing dignity away she was the next to be in Tavaiya's hold, and it was Vivienne who realized something. “My dear, you are trembling..”

 

Her fears came out in words though it had not been thoughts that had plagued her, but the emptiness of being without contact from the mages she knew, in constant exposure to the tranquil. Like a starving man with a banquet just out of reach but not scent, or one dying of thirst with a well that was too deep to access. The addiction of her senses to magic now she'd been around those who were so powerful, for such constant exposure was giving her withdrawal. It was not a pleasant situation.

 

“I'm sorry it's just..thinking of you..and the tranquil..”

 

“Oh, mes petite..” Vivienne's soft croon as she tilted up Tavaiya's face. “The journey was not so hard, but I see..you worry. You shake. You thought maybe they did something to us as you sat here.”

 

“And you are perceptive as ever..” Tavaiya gave in to the partial truth. Hid her tracks in the ones already present.

 

“It is my job, little jackal.” But it was said gently. Vivienne did understand, tranquil bothered most and it had been only Tavaiya willing to stay with them as the other two figured things out. The strength of Vivienne's magic tight against her once more, the humming of Tam, the scent of Cassandra..and of course there was Solas.

 

“What no hug for Chuckles?” Varric grinned wickedly.

 

A broken laugh from Tavaiya and she shook her head. “He was spewing elvhen at me last time knowing I have no hope to learn to speak it. I think I'll prefer hugging Tam.” And to help her out, recognizing the dance for what it was, Vivienne patted her hand.

 

“Come I will tell you about this _dreadful_ Dorian boy whilst the Herald and Seeker discuss the tranquil. Can you believe that a necromancer was wearing white? Such a thumb to the nose of tradition dearest! And the _embroidery!_ ”

 

Tavaiya half closed her eyes and let her heart fill with the sense of Madame de Fer's power. The tranquil had become as they were often through no fault of their own but the yawning emptiness, the need, had scraped her raw as if from the inside, as if they needed something from her she could not give. The rifts had hurt, and Tavaiya growled privately to Vivienne as they moved away.

 

“This whole place makes me have a headache and nausea..”

 

“You aren't pregnant are you dear?”

 

“If so there'd be an entirely new religion with me as the figure, dear Knight Enchantress for such a miracle. I've not had anyone in my bed for any reason other than slumber in a great deal of time!”

 

“You really should fix that, Jackal. You see a certain amount of ...” And Tavaiya was treated, on the winding paths up in Redcliffe when away from all the other eyes, to Vivienne Madame de Fer's rendition of a healthy sex life and why it was necessary for health and beauty even if you didn't have magic.

 

It was best summed up as, well you _knew_ she was interesting with how she dressed and Tavaiya was chuckling much of the afternoon. It was an improvement.

()()()()()()()

 

Tam somehow went out and found them a wagon. Tavaiya was going to stop questioning how the herald was doing things that frankly should not be possible and just was glad they could move the tranquil quickly, even if it meant she and Sera were out hunting almost nonstop to try and augment the rations but they still all only were eating small meals. No one complained. Even Solas and Vivienne's classic argument on the circles and tranquil was shelved due to the company they were keeping.

()()()()()()()

  
They returned to Haven and discussions on what had been found were done in the war room. None of it was pleasant. Tam was like a different person, seeing the tranquil had terrified him into acting. He'd heard of the skull room but not seen it, for good reason. The three rogues had utterly destroyed it short of 'pulling an Anders' as the term for blowing something up had become.

 

Leliana and Cullen were ruthlessness personified. Josephine was sending off letters and preparing politically for the attack on a lord's hold. Leliana, Harding and Tavaiya together outlining the various routes around the city of Redcliffe where the smuggled tranquil and any mages who wished to defect could use.

 

They did deprive Dorian of his flashy entrance though when Tavaiya's head had snapped up, eyes still wild as they had been since her vigil over the tranquil.

 

“Guest at the entrance hall. Loud.” It was a deflection that no one thought to question. Leliana passing it off as her ears, everyone else that she was a rogue.

()()()()()()()()

Tavaiya felt her breath catch when the strange squawking sound her senses heard finally entered the door. It had _nothing_ to do with his appearance and everything because suddenly the undulating humms of Tam's power reacted. The newcomer, Dorian, his magic was a violin. Warm and yet slightly sharp, even as the tonal vibrations were soothing but it had been playing wildly without direction. Suddenly in that room it did something with Tam's humming.

 

They _resonated. Harmonized._

 

Tavaiya locked her eyes to the war table and forced herself to breathe normally and hold herself still though she was blinking tears because it was heart-wrenchingly beautiful to hear and it was such a shame that no one else could.

 

Only one thought went through her mind, and she savored it before they had to refocus on the mission of infiltration on Redcliffe.

 

'Those two are meant to be together. It'll be fun seeing this dance.'

()()()()()()()

 

Tam and Dorian it turned out, were like a pair of swans on land. Awkward and bumbling around each other with their gangly behavior hitting lines too smooth that went right over the ears of Tam, but it was all being pushed aside, flirting as amusing as it was, to plan and co-ordinate the attack.

 

“I know it makes sense to have Tavaiya with your people..and Dorian but..” Tam was saying and then crossed his arms, frowning. “...if something goes wrong?”

 

“You anticipate betrayal at the onset.” Vivienne's voice rolled out in approval. “Fantastic darling. You take us with you, and Cassandra, but of course.”

 

“Solas, Dorian, Sera..Varric..I want you to go with Leliana. Tavaiya can play bodyguard but be ready for a surprise blow, Vivienne's going to be expected especially with Fiona..and I dare anyone to try and get past Cassandra.” Tam grinned.

 

No one this time, questioned the herald.

 

Tavaiya went straight to her room for potions because if need came to it she'd deal with the backlash; and then to the rogue's only armory option. They had to share with everyone else but the man was good. Word had already been passed and so all she needed to do was lace up in her new gear. Unlike what most thought of when thinking 'rogue' it was not grays and blacks. She'd insisted. When the man in charge of making her armor had started to argue it, Tavaiya had thought, smirked, and came back with Vivienne.

 

While she was being forced to owe Vivienne a favor in the future it was a small one, collecting on a tome the woman wanted and getting it from her contacts would be simple enough. In exchange Tavaiya's new armor was warm deep browns and darkened metals that wouldn't catch the light. The quality of the leather was above and beyond the pocket books of the inquisition and certainly not the hide she'd ordered, so Tavaiya also recognized the subtle message of support in it. She could expect the next time to have large strings attached, but this was a classic grieving gift and offer in one. Poaching the help as it were, was a noble's past time.

 

Elan could not protect her in the social circles, Madame de Fer could and was in a sense courting the Jackal's loyalty. There was no obligation, this time, in accepting the gift for another had made it but it was a very well done power play that Tavaiya quirked her lips at even if she had no intentions of coming under the woman's spiked heel. Far be it from a scavengers prerogative to sniff at a gift that may keep her alive!

 

“Is that fox fur on the hood?” Dorian asked as he came up beside her, having his staff adjusted for a better blade on the end. “Such a dull brown color. Not even the soft tan..though marble, or white, would suit you better.”

 

“Yes it is to keep my ears warm when up. Amongst many my moniker is 'the Tarnished Jackal'. Brown suits me.”

 

“Gold would suit you. Lovely, that is not tarnish. Tarnish is not dirt on metal it is a patina. Oils and time hiding away the luster beneath.” Dorian's hands swatted about.

 

“I know but they don't exactly go making metallic furs and frankly it would catch the light and I would be a very _dead_ rogue.”

 

“Sacrificing fashion in the name of living. How...quaint.”

 

Lips quirked in amusement Tavaiya nodded. “Yes, terribly common of me. Enjoying my softer areas covered so I am not skewered, my ears and fingers not to freeze off..and in a place that is all sorts of reds and browns wearing something that will hide me in the shadows so much better than black. I'm a bad girl am I?”

 

Dorian's laughter boomed out then rich and welcoming. “Not scared of the big evil Tevinter necromancer are you?”

 

“If I see him I'll let you know. I've just met a charming man who criticized my gear and seems to like looking at my friend the herald..” She drawled and before he could respond gave him an immediate out. “His markings are different, aren't they?”

 

“They are.” And Dorian twitched his mustache, eyes dancing. “Still I am not sure how I will survive this trip with my sensibilities intact, going down with a lot of smelly unwashed rogues- undercover they call it- and an elf who seems to think fashion is making a tunic from an old blanket.”

 

Tavaiya hummed, but took the offered arm, little did Dorian know Vivienne always gave her the same, as they left the area. “A much loved childhood artifact perhaps? A tiny Solas not grown into his ears dragging the pale fabric after him as he goes to seek out spirits in the woods and now hiding it as his favorite attire?”

 

“Wicked little thing aren't you?” But Dorian's voice oozed approval as he patted her arm.

 

“Terrible. Elan..” And she paused because Dorian didn't know Elan so with an easy sigh at the bittersweet memories she began to explain her mage friend and all his mishaps. Dorian was fantastic company, the trick to him was not so unlike her rogue companions, let them say and do what they wished and do not pry. It was like any noble who had learned that revealing yourself opened you to pain and so listening to the violin strings as her guide, Tavaiya moved through the topics of conversation never cutting close to home.

 

Somehow they ended up arm in arm overlooking the soldiers as they geared up for training. In utter silence. A telling silence.

 

Two pairs of eyes met with a smirk.

 

“They're better in the morning. Half dressed and look straight out of bed.” Tavaiya confessed, and was rewarded with Dorian's rich laughter.

()()()()()()

 

Tam's reverse trap snapped shut and his wisdom in having Tavaiya in the party as he confronted him had been borne out when there was an attempt to strike at them from behind. Leliana and her group had the ones in front but Tavaiya had launched backwards and in a twist that took as much skill as strength flung a throwing knife into one throat and kicked the knees out from another assailant.

 

The single heartbeat that took her, and then looking up as light engulfed Tam and Dorian...

 

“NO!” was torn out of her throat and many more at the same time in pleading denial.

 

They were gone, the violin and the humming vanished as if they had never been and the ache of loss was so profound that while the room erupted in chaos, trying to find where they were...

 

Tavaiya knew. Could sense it.

 

The herald was gone.

 

The mad mage was crowing and cackling over the Elder one and perhaps it was because she was reeling, shaking, grateful to be further back in the shadows. Clutching at some stupidly ornate side table to support her body as that humming and violin which had created the most exquisite melody, one so incomparable it had drowned out the sense of hoarfrost on her skin and the general wrongness of Redcliffe. Because she was holding her head, racking her senses in desperation that there'd be a flutter...

 

First she lost the sense of fern leaves through her fingertips coated in dew- mother, the butterflies that danged on her skin, little feet tickling and wings brushing along her like laughter- Elan..that humming sound, the humming bird zipping about a little flying jewel creating a rhthym wherever he went..that melded with violin and permeated the place with harmonized magic that brought joy to her lips..Tam. Dorian.

 

Gone.

 

Maybe it was from all of that, because she was paying attention despite all the distractions with her senses in a way she never had. Reaching out with them and shoving aside everything else?

 

Because what she suddenly felt on the furthest edges of her range stole her breath and made her land on her knees, thankfully silent and unobserved.

 

Foul. Vile. _Wrong._ Tavaiya beat back the senses not wishing to acknowledge what she was experiencing because it would already haunt her sleeping hours. The elder one was coming. Taking a risk she hissed, grabbing Leliana's arm as she all but flung herself across the room in stealth.

 

“We need to leave, _now!”_ There was an urgency to her voice, she could sense her eyes were blown with adrenaline and Leliana..Leliana shoved beyond her own emotions and the bard's gaze drove into her with all the force of her faith and cunning and she understood. The time to ask was later.

 

Next was Vivienne, Solas. Sera, Varric, Cassandra. Somehow they got moving, they fled and while everyone wanted to ask Tavaiya didn't doubt she looked half crazed and terrified and it was enough where she'd been stepped backwards they just assumed she'd seen or found something.

 

Chills raked down her spine and they all turned, even the non mages now sensing what had made the Jackal race away with her tail between her legs as red lyrium started erupting from Red cliffe. They had gotten out just in time, the few mages, including Fiona, who had followed them.

 

“To Haven. Double up on the mounts. There is no _time._ ” Leliana's order was cold and harsh and no one thought to argue. Tavaiya scrambling up behind Vivienne needing her iron will and stern nature right then more than anything, even more than Sera's comfortable nature. Because breathing was hard and she felt like there was a layer of her skin rotting off, the blood in her throat was thick and vile and the clawing sensations along her nerves were going to kill her if she didn't drown in the feel of another's magic and Vivienne's was _known._ Tavaiya did not know how she was going to face off against a monster she couldn't even be in the vicinity of but that would be addressed later. Simply making it to Haven was the first priority for them all.

 

The herald was gone..they faced an uncertain future now.

 


	13. Chapter 13

AN:Part 2 of 3. Redcliffe. Because we never see the year from those who are left behind..and I had trouble just accepting that. Yes, this entire year will vanish so to speak. But the ripples will affect the later events. Was surprisingly hard to get out and so I stopped controlling it.

()()()()()()()()()

 

The loss of Tam and the sighting of the towering monstrous form at Redcliffe seemed to make the inquisition tumble apart and yet it also cemented it. Some fled Haven. Others rushed to secure future places they could flee too. Those who had physically been there however, felt almost as if they were marked somehow. Down to the last of Leliana's scouts who had fled with them and did not have a trace of connection to the Fade, everyone had this disturbing sense of being watched from afar.

 

Those first few weeks were the worst. Hurriedly shoring up Haven's defenses, Roderick leaving for another location and taking most of those who would have stayed in the chantry. Not, however, before he made certain Tavaiya and the soldiers all knew how to find the exit he recalled when packaging up the most valued of the chantry journals. The Tavern still was there but everything was rationed so harshly that it was more a place to get warm than to relax and forget. Each of the inner circle as they had become dubbed now was referred to as 'The Redcliffe Survivors'.”

 

Reports came in from a few loyal spies about the outcropping of red lyrium that grew now, like weeds. Of the vanishing towns folk, the eerie ways part of Redcliffe were changing as if alive. Then the crows ceased coming and the realization that they were going about this blind, the spies most assuredly captured, was chilling.

 

Sera had gotten quiet and serious, falling into studying poisons and hunting every moment she had with the few others who were much better at being in the wilderness. She had a hunger to learn and any complaints of it being too elfy were dropped because Sera was Red Jenny first and there were people on very small rations. The biggest ones went to the mages and templars, then the soldiers. Those who may keep them alive in situations. The nobody civilians had the least and so any padding they could come up with to expand the suddenly bland meals to help fill out their bellies was appreciated.

 

Solas, Fiona, Vivienne all were pouring over every scrap of information on time travel Leliana could get them because it was the last known topic that the magister had been working on according to Dorian. Tavaiya was being sent on horseback everywhere, along with the few others Leliana trusted because even crows were now a liability.

 

Varric's letters and contacts were invaluable but after a while even he couldn't get the pure lyrium and they dared not try to keep at it after one batch was found laced with the most minute amount of the tainted red form. Instead, Varric was working with any who were willing to learn the cross bow, as there was no longer the ability to specialize to be found. If the worst came to it, every working body there needed to be able to pick up and fire a weapon.

 

Cassandra and Cullen spent all their time training and going over defenses. The two were a fantastic pair when it came to how to build and rip down such things and with their natural charisma and faith they managed to get the walls increased, the paths cleared, and not only soldiers but any person who wished to learn to fight was welcomed, and with one of the two taking the time to walk them through the basics step by step.

 

They all still bickered, argued, fought. Somehow the loss of the Herald who was just starting to bring hope wherever he went had made them all bite their tongues though.

()()()()()()

A month in and Sera and Leliana had a mutual arrangement that had nothing to do with anything other then stress relief and to forget for a moment. No one said anything. The number of even mages and templars finding comfort in each other where once there was strife was overlooked. Anyone who could get a little respite anywhere, was doing so.

()()()()()()

 

Two months in and Varric somehow ended up in Cassandra's bed. They hadn't done anything but it spawned rumors and smiles that kept the Seeker from snapping at other people. They hadn't had a cause to smile over for a long time. Two months felt more like years and the Seeker could hardly complain when there was a general sense of hope that one of the Inquisition's figureheads seemed to be able to find a bit of comfort. That Varric had switched to rooming with her was likewise, overlooked for all it stayed chaste.

 

That month Damian perished trying to get information to Tavaiya from Tevinter on what Magister Alexius had been working on before he had gone to Redcliffe. Many of the notes did not survive his murder but what ciphers did get to her hands, seemingly random poems on sex which would have been ignored, she dutifully translated for the trio of elder mages and then went away for a week. No one heard or saw anything of her and regretfully started to think she was gone, before she just came back. There was a new black feather tattoo'd on her, just behind her right ear. A small thing.

 

When she was sparring with Cassandra and fell to her knees sobbing, everyone didn't even notice. There'd been a lot of deaths lately trying to find out what was going on and the number of breakdowns was beyond counting. That Tavaiya trusted the Seeker enough to fall apart in her hold, in the full view of everyone, only proved how deep their friendship ran.

 

That month they started to need the mages in order to burn wood. The only supply was found around Haven and still damp from the snow. It was a strange thing, to rely on magic to keep warm and many were being forced to rethink magic.

 

The tranquil and their logic had become an unexpected group of saviors, always able to push through what brought others to despair and simply focus on what needed to be done.

()()()()()

 

The third month and Tavaiaya walked in to speak with Vivienne. Her eyes were worried. That Fiona and Solas were there, she honestly didn't notice.

 

“Why hasn't that Elder one even tried to come to the breach?”

 

“That's the question. What is he waiting for..isn't it darling?”

 

No one had an answer.

 

It was after that morning Tavaiya somehow understood they wouldn't all get out of this alive without drastic measures and she went to Solas.

 

“Anything?”

 

Solas looked over, worn out even though he spent a great deal of his time asleep trying to gain assistance from the spirits he knew. Their games and flirtations had ceased and instead Tavaiya gave a sympathetic smile, handing over his portion of the rations for the meal. She'd brought his, along with hers.

 

“...You needn't give me yours as well.” He spoke softly but Tavaiya looked away, nibbling on a bit of the stale bread. It was too little even for her frame, but she was not so spoiled as once being a noble's friend to be unfamiliar with hunger.

 

“I know you're using a lot more mana than you admit to. We need you Solas.”

 

“How?” He sounded tired, too tired to even argue that she was right but Tavaiya had come intending to talk to him. She'd chosen when Fiona was off sleeping, and Vivienne trying to rest after her own meal. It was just them in Solas's cabin.

 

“I don't want anyone else to know.”

 

“...very well.”

 

“I have no magic, but I am very hyper aware of it. Like an extra sense.” She paused, and then sighed. “The anchor, the breach, the rifts..and you sometimes all have the same..frequency. I'm guessing it has to do with the Fade?”

 

Solas did not answer until he had finished his meal and then his eyes were looking right into her. Tavaiya could sense each click as the pieces fell into place and he hummed. “Yes. Most of my information has been because I was aware of things, but with the absolute revulsion people have even towards blood magic for some reason talking direct Fade manipulation and working with spirits instead of just using the Fade to alter ways to work other magics..it has not come across well before.”

 

An answer of why he had said nothing to her own.

 

“If there was a big enough power source then..the breach _could_ have been closed with the anchor.”

 

“Indubitably.”

 

Tired, feeling that lingering ache of loss, Tavaiya moved so her arm was against Solas's. It was a simple touch but she felt pulled thin, she could only wonder how bad it was for Solas mentally. She knew his magic screamed his exhaustion. He had pushed too far without enough to give. “For what it's worth..” she left the rest unsaid but felt his muscles relax.

 

“You sense the Fade in me, directly then?”

 

“Yes.” And it was not all but what sort of rogue told everything? If not for the loss of Tam he would have never heard this from her lips. Or perhaps, given time, he would have heard far more.

 

“All right. What nagging thoughts have it where you brought this up now?” Solas tried for a smile and it was enough that Tavaiya looked at him gratefully.

 

“Why hasn't Corypheus come after us, after the breach? He seems uninterested despite clearly wishing us caught at the time..”

 

Solas didn't answer, just leaning back though it was his hand that reached out to catch hers and his long fingers began to fiddle with her hand between his own. Perhaps fascinated about the idea someone could sense magic without being a mage. If he really believed her. There was a good chance he figured it mostly self delusion and clever deduction.

 

“Because we are of little concern to him.”

 

“It didn't seem that way when we fled.”

 

Solas's hands stilled and then he sighed. “I think, Tavaiya..you had best explain precisely what you sense..”

 

There was a strange hovering to his magic. One that said this was a chance that would never come again, and so she gave in and told him everything. She spoke of the different senses and ways she experienced them, he questioned her repeatedly on whom and what everything felt like. For some reason the Honey wine and Hoarfrost had his magic swelling in pleasure and pressing against her so tightly she had a feeling she could never forget them again, especially when she brought up the sounds, the scents that had intruded before all this chaos wore them all down to the barest of functionality.

 

“Would that we had the leisure to explore what you experience..” Solas whispered and his eyes glowed with curiosity, enthusiasm trembling at his magic's edge but it could not be acted on. It felt..hungry though and she lamented that it came out in such an environment. Who knew how things could have been?

 

“I would prefer you in the dark and there having been no need to tell you of such.” Tavaiya responded easily and was treated to a dimpled smile from Solas. Understanding.

 

“So, why tell me now?”

 

“I shouldn't say.”

 

There was a heavy spike in the air, and then Solas pulled on her with his magic as she hadn't felt since before Tam vanished, since that day they teased each other with two foreign tongues. Tavaiya gasped as hoarfrost spiked along her skin, melting on contact from the heat of the honeywine and she grasped his hand tightly with her own still held between his even as her eyes closed. A shudder ran down her frame.

 

“...fascinating..” It was a thick murmuring, heavy with regret and carefully held back control. “Does this affect your thoughts, your reservations?”

 

“Solas.” The plea in her voice answer enough.

 

His hands let go of hers and Tavaiya cracked her eyes, seeing his knuckles had gone white as he clenched his hands together. His steel gray eyes locked on her form, meeting her eyes in warning. “It is a shame...” That things were as they were, that they had the disaster looming over them and his voice shifted, echoing with magic as it did once when he spoke ancient Elvhen though he kept to common. “The nights I would have spent seeing you fall apart as I explored every spell, every twist of power to see this..never, in all the wanderings of the fade have I heard of someone sensing magic in such a way..”

 

Tavaiya held his gaze and then made a choice. She did not yield so much as decide to walk into the wolf's jaws. Whatever secrets Solas had he could keep them. The odds of them living through the next month were small, the next year? Not at all.

 

“I enjoyed our games. Had things been different..”

 

“Had things been different..” Solas agreed, knuckles still white, eyes unblinking. “you should go..”

 

She should.

 

“I leave tomorrow night.” She did not say where or why, he could guess. It was for Leliana, it was likely to kill her. Solas took a deep breath, sharp, painfully so and she saw as he tilted his head before he muttered softly to himself first in elvhen, then again..

 

“I would have liked more than one evening.” It was an offer, an apology.

 

Tavaiya somehow forced herself to move, the very moment she even slightly shifted towards Solas she was pulled into his arms and his lips were on her throat, his power undulating against her skin as he shifted to ancient Elvhen heedless of her lack of understanding. Some actions did not need language.

 

“ _/Wars would have been fought over one such as you in Arlathan.../”_

()()()()()()()()()()

 

Hungry. That was the best way to describe them. Desperate, lamenting that there was such a limit to the time they claimed together. Come morning Tavaiya needed to leave and yet she could not keep herself from pressing her lips to his wrist, teeth scraping and tongue barely touching in a mimicry of that first time she'd done so. Despite the _many_ experiments with flesh and magic that they had explored until after dawns' arrival the two had yet to share a real kiss. As if by unspoken agreement, indeed the pleading of all her senses that had utterly drowned in honeywine and hoarfrost; that she return to finally claim that from him.

  
Solas had been surprised that she had experience in some ways but not that most primal, though it had hardly mattered in the end for they seemed to never need words as they moved. His fascination with her reactions to his magic, his loss of control at key points, proving an exhausting evening and morning. Tavaiya had smiled as he healed her so it was only a lack of sleep she suffered from and the curl of hoarfrost along her skin as she pressed an open kiss to his wrist, the flush to his ears and catch of his breath..

 

It was enough.

 

“Try to return.” Solas said and looked startled that he had even voiced it.

 

“If I breathe, I shall.”

 

Tavaiya left the cabin with the strange sensation of a blizzard trying to blow her back into the apostates' arms.

()()()()()()()()()

 

Fiona was the first lost to them, truly. She had acted on a message from one of the mages who had served under her and been there at redcliffe, who had begged her for help according to the note. She went there...and fell to the red lyrium.

()()()()()()

 

It took two weeks for Sera, who had come to view Fiona as an elder sister, to convince Leliana to let her chase after her. She never returned alive. Instead her broken and red lyrium encrusted body was delivered to Haven's gates mysteriously in the night and sent panic through the ranks. Leliana was observed standing silent for hours after the pyre.

()()()()()()()

 

When four days later Tavaiya returned, filthy, exhausted, looking as though she hadn't slept, it was Vivienne who pulled her aside as soon as she reported to Leliana and informed her of the loss of her fellow elfin rogue. It did not matter that they were in a practice ground, she went to her knees and held her as she collapsed, much as she had in Cassandra's hold before and wept.

 

Varric was lost later that month when he tried to meet with one of his contacts who may have lyrium. Betrayed, he was sent to Redcliffe.

()()()()()()()()

 

Six months after the herald had vanished, Cullen insisted on trying to take the remaining templars whom had been there from the start instead of under the Lord Seeker- where Tavaiya had been sent to infiltrate and never spoke of what happened save the Templars had been driven mad by an envy demon and she almost had not escaped but a good part of one of her ears and chunk of hair had never returned to Haven with her- and reclaim Redcliffe. He was lost and all those with him.

()()()()()()()

 

Seven months and Cassandra's patience, especially after the loss of Varric, snapped. She went with Vivienne of all people and a host of their mages and soldiers. Leliana agreed it was time for a full frontal attack and decided to go, as an all or nothing barely getting the group to wait for them all.

 

“It's madness.” Solas whispered in Tavaiya's ear as he clutched her tightly to him. He knew she trembled at the very thought of red Lyrium. “If we had any other options..any place to run to that gave us a single hope..”

 

“We don't.” She agreed and closed her eyes, pressing her nose to his chest. “I won't go ahead.” She'd go with him or not at all was the pledge and Solas's arms were suddenly steel bands holding her in as if the hoarfrost she had become so familiar with wasn't inundating her veins.

 

“Had I the years to have done this properly..”

 

“Would we have done this at all?”

 

“You are right.” He sighed and then his lips were on her ear. They had yet to actually share a kiss, somehow it seemed too permanent. Too..different from the raw emotion and interactions they had shared. As if it would confirm feelings they had to this point avoided confessing. “Yet somehow, I think it was inevitable. Had I met you in my youth..”

 

“mm. When you were hotblooded and cocky?” She asked with her best imitation of his voice and exulted in the deep chuckle she felt more than heard.

 

“When I was, yes. I would have slain any who looked at you then..” He shifted slightly, but the terms came easily in common now. He did not lament that she was unfamiliar with the ancient tongue as they had no time for her to learn it. There was no chance of Tavaiya being in Haven more than out of it and so in the seven months of the loss of Tam they had only a handful of weeks total together without her being gone. She simply would not be given rest. Not when she had been the most valuable of Leliana's scouts, surviving encounters she shouldn't. The reasoning why known only to Solas who had respected her fear of telling them, since it may have seen her sent to Redcliffe alone before then he could certainly understand it. There was no cowardice in caution. “I would have taken you at my side and given you titles you probably would have hit me for.” Humor laced his voice, a rare thing then.

 

“Such as?”

 

“Vhenan. My heart. Or more..” He paused then. “I do not know that there is a word for it in common.There is one for a soul mate, for a twin soul. There is not one for an echo, a resonance, one who completes you and there is no end..” He whispered the last into the junction of her jaw and ear and felt that peculiar thrumming echo of his own magic turned back upon him. If the world's elves seemed tranquil compared to those he had known, the longer they had been in each others company the more there seemed to be no separation between where his magic was and that other sense he had of Tavaiya.

 

“...You are my mage.” She said, hand trailing over his sweater as she closed her eyes. “I am your partner. Where you stumble, I shall steady you.”

 

“Where you strike I shall shield.” He replied and then pulled back. She did not know of his past, she also never asked. Solas suddenly found the idea of losing her, sickening. “The notes..I was unable to tell you with you gone. Vivienne and I suspect that the spell that..stole..the herald and the necromancer was a time displacement. They may return some day. They may even be able to go back to that point. It will require immense sacrifice though..”

 

“Willing deaths?”

 

“Yes.” Solas gazed down at the form curled against him as they sat in his cabin on his bed. Her hair was cut short, no one had the time or supplies to do otherwise and Tavaiya's hair was only chin length. It had been for a while, making Solas wish he'd ever felt the full length of her locks around his fingers. She had more scars, more rough tattoos..some made with ash and cuts to scar instead. As of now she had none for him. It bothered him more than he wanted to admit.

 

“You spiked.” She gasped out softly, her eyes dilated, skin flushed and Solas smirked. It was endlessly fascinating how his very magic betrayed him to her. Disturbing at first but since it almost rendered her as helpless to him as he felt being shown in such fashion, he had learned to enjoy it. It was new, this vulnerable side to him but not one he could suppress without denying the very magic that made him Elvhenan. Yet, if his jackal suspected anything she never spoke a word and he treasured that silence.

 

How strange it was that with only a year to live perhaps two before Corypheus destroyed everything unlike how he wished to restore it..it had shown Solas not to wait to live.

 

“I was thinking..” He moved his fingers to caress the black feather behind her ear, the crude cut and scarring of the hummingbird and peacock on her left forearm meant to be Dorian and Tam. The little bee she had by her right thumb for Sera. There were many such marks on her skin. She often didn't like them but when every dawn meant she may not make it through another..idly, Solas lamented he had no extra mana to enjoy seeing what her part of the fade would have been like. “You've nothing for me..”

 

“What would you like?”

 

It was so simply asked, as if the idea he would somehow permanently be on her flesh was natural that once again stole at Solas's ability to breathe.

 

“Humor me...”

 

Tavaiya relaxed against him and once more Solas enjoyed that he could almost 'sense' as if he himself was agreeing. It was a faint echo he was certain of how she could understand him so well and never ceased to make him wonder. If they'd had time to nurture this, if she'd been born back in the height of Elvhenan...

 

She'd have captured his fascination then as well. He knew the chances were high he would have loved someone this time awake, love itself was a bittersweet emotion that the experience was to be prized more than the eventuality of the union back in his time. Solas would have been far more comfortable loving and leaving for that was normal. The sweet loss of one's heart..

 

But Tavaiya was so much a part of him that even if Tam did manage to turn back time he felt bitter and angry at the idea he would not know. That _she_ would not know. “Bloodmagic can do much that the regular contact with the fade cannot..” he began and wondered at the echoing sensation of curiosity that was not his. No, he would not have known this if Corypheus had not descended upon Redcliffe and driven them away but should things be different? Should it be another world? He would want to know what could be. Wanted her to know.

 

He was a selfish old wolf, but in this he wanted to give comfort to his little Jackal.

 

“There is another form of bloodmagic. Ancient even among the memories of the fade, it indeed predated most the Evanarius..”

 

“What do you want, Solas?”

 

How well she understood him for not knowing a thing about him.

 

“Should things change, this..will remain between us is my hope. In some part.”

 

He waited, and it felt like time held it's breath. Somehow Solas knew that Tavaiya may not live through this attack on Redcliffe, that perhaps he would not. If they did it would not be gently and certainly not without severe price.

 

“You are mine, and I am yours.”

 

Solas wasn't entirely certain which of them said it but his fingers glowed blue with a power he had not tried to draw on, so primal it was, since the days when he betrayed the Old Ones and in doing so, in siding with the Evanarius, became Fen'Harel before he took the title as a badge of pride.

 

It was a small mark, over not her heart but the opposite side of her chest. There was an ancient myth when he was young that the beings first formed had two hearts and multiple limbs before being sundered. It was a mark though with no significance save in the days before Elvhenan had created a written language this crude symbol had been how he identified himself. A whorl that branched into smaller ones, ironically perhaps as forewarning, seeming almost a very stylized wolf print. Not even Mythal would have placed it right away.

 

And her reactions...

 

As the last of the spell burned the ever so faintly lighter than skin mark into Tavaiya's flesh for the first time he pressed his lips to hers.

 

They would face the next day with some assurance that his soul branded her own and his was forever marked with her echo.

()()()()()()()()

They failed.

 

Leliana was taken, tortured, experimented on. Fiona was there, as was Varric, driven mad under the Lyrium but just at times flickering with sanity. Cassandra's mind broke and she fell so heavily into her Seeker training it seemed as if she had regressed. Cullen was lost to a monster, along with others. Becoming things that had not even haunted their nightmares.

 

Tavaiya's blood coated Solas's fingers on that first battlefield as she fell. Taking a blow meant for him, having somehow deciphered a number of notes and turning her sacrifice into a way that should Tam actually appear, they would be sane for a few hours. Solas wept and hated that he had ever left them out, his scribbled ideas, on his desk back in Haven. He had forgotten Rogues tended to snoop, so lost in everything as he had been. It wasn't until that moment he realized how deep the awareness of Tavaiya had become, as that sensation of being alive once more, as terrifying as the world was, slipped back away into feeling surrounded by tranquil.

 

Her last moments spent staring into his gray eyes and the feeling of a memory, of his pressing his lips to hers and that feeling of 'Oh. _Yes_. Why did we wait?'

 

It carried him through the pain of the red lyrium poisoning him. Through the sensation of as Tavaiya had once said 'like my bone marrow is being scraped free while I'm still alive' as the crystals began to overtake his blood and sever his connection to the fade. He could no longer even seek escape in his dreams.

 

Two months after the world became an endless nightmare of pacing his cell as his body succumbed to the red Lyrium, a face he had honestly forgotten the shape to appeared at his door and Solas dared to hope.

 

Tam.

 

The herald was staring at him through the bars, the Vallaslin had never looked so welcoming...

 

And for the first time the man who had once been revered as a god, looked forward to what his death could bring about.

 

“This time, should not be.”

 

There was a chance.

 


	14. Chapter 14

AN: Part 3 of Redcliffe. Time travel. Tam and Dorian and the aftermath. Whew. I will be honest the last chapter utterly drained me. Going into this one was hard and it went in places I seriously had no plans for until I remembered how WEIRD nobility is in Ferelden with everyone knowing or being related to everyone. Or the random is returning. There are feels here but there is also laughter and humor because I needed to pull it back a bit. Because I'm guessing two chapters and then Haven attack. At least I warn you all.

()()()()()()()()

 

The light had burned him and it really felt like the anchor on his hand had first resisted, then fought back with the spell. Fire and ice and lightning all melded as it streaked in and through his veins, lashing out and tearing reality, warping whatever the spell had been _meant_ to do. Tam had not been pleased to look around and see where they were. It felt off, his hand leaden and aching like after the first times he'd learned to cast and promptly overdone it. Dorian was beside him and rattling off theories that just hurt his head. Even if his voice was a delight to hear.

 

It seemed Tam and time magics did not mesh well together.

 

“Dorian, I really do think it's charming you're going scholarly on all this but my head is killing me and I am pretty certain we are lost.”

 

“But lost when, not where..” Dorian said but did give a small look of concern after a pause, at least listening to Tam's complaint. “Your head?”

 

“Left temple. Pounds like a halla just kicked me..in which case I'd be dead. Muscles feel a lot weaker too..”

 

“...well. Congratulations oh Andraste's herald who doesn't believe in the maker's dimpled cheeks..you're the miniscule less than .03 percent we calculated as potentially having side effects from time travel on a larger scale. Or else something went wrong in which case it is only my sheer daunting genes -they do breed for flexibility to different magics in Tevinter you know- sparing me the same trauma.”

 

“Great. How did you figure that?”

 

“Well...so this is the first time we made something that could do big jumps, but little ones? Slowing things down or speeding them up..that we figured out.” Dorian was only too happy to begin his explanation. It did help to distract one from the eerie glowing red outcropping of crystals.

 

Horror started to seep in though as just what he was sensing, the strange sounds, sights, the twisted version of what had been there not ten minutes before started to drag on. Even Dorian's quips started to fail aside from a snarky 'Why are they attacking us? Do they miss the staffs? The fantastic attire? I mean someone as gorgeous as I am screams exceptional mage...”

 

They found Cassandra first. And Varric. Fiona was all but consumed by the crystal, trying to open a door, which Varric simply could not do, Tam muttered. “Why couldn't we have found Sera yet, or Tavaiya?”

 

There was a chilling sound of grief as if someone was choking back a cry then. Tam turned, having almost missed Vivienne's cell. “Vivienne?”

 

“Hello ..darlings.” Vivienne's steps were heavy as she moved to the bar, leaning on it for strength. She was filthy, hair having started to grow out and matted and worn with the strange echo to her voice as the others. Her once fabulous attire now just tattered rough rags and she didn't seem to notice. Tear tracks were all but etched into her cheeks through the dirt. “The little bee and our Jackal did not make it this long..”

 

Tam felt sick.

 

“They...no...”

 

“Sera, sweet little Sera with that loud mouth and determined gaze. She would not leave Fiona to her fate. We got her back broken and long dead. Leliana did not take it well. Not that one ever does, such loss.”

 

“Vivienne..” Cassandra's voice was soft, pleading, and facing away Tam and Dorian did not see how Varric's hand went to her forearm in comfort.

 

“He needs to know. Our notes..Your notes, Dorian. Yours and the magisters and every scrap we could cobble together..” Vivienne's breathy sigh was hard as she held herself up on the bars. “You can undo this. Go back. But the price of such knowledge has echoed in horrid ways with this red lyrium darlings..”

 

“You studied _blood magic. You!_ ” Tam said in shock. Not disgust but awe for Vivienne's hatred for the art was well known.

 

“We looked for ways to survive, darling. Hundreds of souls counting on us.” Vivienne's smile as Varric finally found the key to let her out was a shattered pathetic thing. “Thank you, love. I so wish to hurt something right now...Shall we?”

 

“Wait, where's Tavaiya?” Tam asked and there was a wince from the two women. “No, oh please..” Tam unconsciously grabbed for Dorian's shoulder to steady himself. Tavaiya who had trained him, shored him up when he was worried. Who had poked at him and yet believed in him. Who looked at Tam with this strange expression as if she wasn't sure if he had become her little brother or not but there was a fondness, one that had taken him a long time to realize was not romantic on either of their sides but just..

 

Her smirky grin, how she'd pranked people besides Sera. That he was just Tam to someone. That they were gone..

 

“Do not mention her to Solas.” Cassandra's advice came. “He..was there when she died. We were not. Across the battlefield.” Tam wondered at that but nodded, and they continued.

 

Solas had not recognized him at first, he could tell. The man looked haggard and worn, clearly not dreaming was almost more lethal to his hahren than the red lyrium itself. “Solas!”

 

Solas rambled a little, insisted that they go back. Undo this time, repeated information about the demons and the death of the empress and yet each of them told it a little differently and Tam wondered as they let him out and he saw the way Solas winced after the older elf looked at each of them. Visibly counting.

 

“Hahren, are you hurt?”

 

“No more than we all are, poisoned and dying slowly from the red lyrium.” Solas said and waved them on, but Tam saw how once again he reached a hand up to the right side of his chest and rubbed at it, as if it pained him. Then again, Solas would be able to help himself if he needed to, right?

 

Leliana rescued, and Tam was utterly stunned she could kill someone like that. Still he tried to not gape as they were wandering the paths again. Periodically they had to stop to let those infected lean against the walls and breathe and during that point Leliana would debrief Tam and Dorian. They spoke of the exits on Haven, the changes they made. The places first struck at. “Do _not_ just do nothing and wait, hoping this is not the outcome.” Leliana insisted, her eyes bleak. “Promise.”

 

Dorian had tried to apologize and the red head whirled, snarling. “To you this is just an unpleasant jaunt, an alternate future. We have lived, suffered, been tortured..we have _lost_ do not dream of patronizing us! And you wonder why mages are feared...none should have this power..none should have such a right to decide the fate of others! Even the Maker lets us make our own choices!”

()()()()()()

 

Dorian had not missed that it was Solas who had started the leading questions that soon had the group spilling all they knew for them to memorize. That Solas looked entirely ready for death. How one by one he'd pull aside one of the other 'survivors' and 'heal' them while his lips moved and when they'd rejoin the infected ones had a steel to their gaze. A determination. When he and Leliana moved aside, despite the vitriol the spymistress had snarled about mages, there was a quiet shared pain to the two of them that was layered in so many things Dorian felt like he was reading a tome in a language he did not know.

 

The Altus was still reeling at the idea that in trying to learn of this, to undo it, they had even abandoned the view that blood magic was anathema. How dearly must they have paid to get genuine information for blood magic could be a finite and delicate art rather than as most thought of it. Indeed, Alexius had needed it, all willingly given, to first form the amulet.

 

Such a terrible exhausting future, but Tam just moved on. Determined, locking away the nightmare as he went through it to fall apart over later. That was a coping method Dorian was so familiar with it was second nature by now.

 

It would backfire, but later.

()()()()()()()()

 

“...they know.” Solas whispered softly to Leiliana as he did his best with his meager spells that wouldn't cause the red lyrium to react so he could ease the worst of Leliana's pain. “They are all ready. But we counted on two more..” Cullen and Fiona. It was not enough, the blood magic to overrule the original spell, even with willing deaths, was not enough as it stood.

 

“I'll get us them.” Leliana promised harshly and then her eyes were locked to Solas. “I remember the notes. The side effects if this works being the non mage forcing the blood to spill we need, I can handle them better than Varric or Cassandra..”

 

The faintest most pained smile, exhausted, came to Solas's lips. “ _She_ would have told you what was found in my notes...”

 

“Bargained for an extra day with them.” Leliana agreed. Solas had been the mage to keep Sera's pyre burning even though it was ice that was his forte, ensured not even ashes remained when he was done so there was no chance of her coming back. Leliana had seen such horrors from the Blight and her Warden..the warden she loved and had heard nothing of. Probably would have enjoyed setting the two strange women, one with a fear of magic and the other a legendary Warden Mage around and getting them to be friends at least. That Leliana though was of a different world than one where red Lyrium cracked his veins and blight pounded in hers.

 

“A day?” Solas asked confused, and Leliana just managed a dark look. Too tired, too angry to smile.

 

Somehow the memory floated through Solas's mind as distorted as they were not having access to his dreams anymore to shore them up.

 

_I will not go ahead._

 

Solas closed his eyes, hand going towards his chest at the memory of the echo and how alive he had felt, even as his heart wrenched in pain of the aching for something it could no longer find. That final day. Fingers splayed over fabric that was well worn from the repetitive motion, seeking something that wasn't there.

 

“Thank you, Leliana.”

 

“I know what it is like to face the end of all things and wish for just one more night with the one you are too afraid to tell how you feel. Sera never knew and Amell is lost with the other Wardens.” Leliana said and then the moment passed. “I'll get you the blood, though I cannot promise you willing deaths. Blood will _not_ be lacking.”

 

“It will be enough.” It had to be, this time, this monstrous event could not be allowed. “We hopefully have burned the information into them..but I feel ...the time Ta- _she_ gained us, running out.” It had almost been a few hours since he'd seen Tam. Already he'd seen the light in Cassandra's eyes going a little less sane.

 

“Let's end this.” The two rejoined the group, and both were too weary to hope..especially when the Herald truly did not know what it was he was doing.

()()()()()()

 

Alexius was at their feet. Blood seeping into the ground, the same from Felix's corpse. They heard the demons coming and Tam was startled to see implacable resolve in the eyes of his friends, these red shades of them.

 

Perhaps he'd hoped they'd pass on some message, something personal to themselves that would help them out, but instead they just resolutely reminded him to not let it happen, they would buy them _time_ and turned away. The emphasis on time Dorian caught and he held tight to Tam.

 

“We cannot leave now!” He hissed at the Dalish who was crying out at seeing the others fall. Dorian felt the build up, the willing deaths, the blood, the power lain down by powerful mages and those who had been instructed on what to do..

 

It let him reach far beyond his skills, Dorian was a wondrous mage and it showed in his ability to corral that power as he forced it into the path they needed and then...

 

The air was clean again and they were back. He wanted to gloat, perhaps he normally would but Tam was trembling. Either a break down or he'd lash out and either was dangerous for a mage and Tam was not just a mage but had that strange green mark upon his hand.

 

Luckily, he chose to lash out.

 

Dorian had _not_ expected the kick to Alexius's collarbone, the heel strike to his nose, or the knee to his face..knocking the man out. He could however, admit he was blinking like and idiot and thinking for a man who had just traveled in time, rescued them, come back and then pulled out quite the move..

 

Okay, it was very appealing.

 

“Where did you learn to do _that!?”_ Because that kick had been high as the elf was shorter..and that implied a lot of flexibility mages didn't..usually..hmm. Bad thoughts. _Oh_ **yes**.

()()()()()()()()()()

 

Tavaiya had screamed with the others, she'd backed away at the loss of the harmonized sounds and bumped into a side table holding herself up before her hands rushed to grab at her temples. Panic, despair..

 

And then the screaming cracking sound as a crescendo of music crashed over the room to her senses. It was like the sound of a rock slide, of templars letting out a great smite all at once and Tavaiya staggered, head thudding against the wall behind her as her lungs lost all the oxygen they held. Every living person in that room was slammed into with magic and yet it was like no one else could see or feel it. It burned her mind, like a bad headache that was trying to settle in. Her eyes were blurring but she shook her head and was treated to seeing Tam use the combination she'd worked so hard with him on, making her smile.

 

The humming was back, the violins meshing again. The tune richer and smoother and..not gone. Not gone. The urge to down one of her suppressant potions though was there as it felt like something was just not quite right. As if her mind and body were being squashed down into something too small. It made her twitchy. Off.

 

Off enough when she suddenly saw King Alistair she did something rather stupid, grateful Anora was long since gone and wed off to another noble because oh they had _not_ gotten along. Waiting until he was mid speech which was really as usual for the Warden King, more emotional and less thought out even if he was a good man. So Tavaiya took a deep breath and reminded herself of how to do that trick she'd learned with Elan to throw their voices...

 

“OH! There's CHEESE!” It came from the farthest corner away from her, sounded like an excited old man, and Alistair's attention when from lecturing Fiona to turning his entire upper body towards the sound before he could check himself.

 

Tavaiya couldn't resist laughing.

 

“Why you little..” And there went his regal behavior as she was suddenly swooped up in his arms, Tavaiya laughing wildly half from stress breaking as she grinned at the boyish king who never truly had grown out his charm. He'd spent a lot of time with Elan when they were both young, as boys in noble houses especially rumored bastards tended to stuck together. They'd written when Alistair had been sent to the chantry and the irony of it still struck her because when Elan had later confessed 'Yeah I'm a really weak mage and you are the Templar run away go figure..' the men had gotten drunk and roared in laughter. He'd had Elan come stay a few times after his coronation because 'Oh Maker these people think I can't put on my own boots Elan! It's crazy!' was the subject of many letters. Of course, where Elan went so had Tavaiya and that she'd shamelessly pranked many for the King who had helped Tabris and his cousins in the Denerim Alienage, even giving leadership over to them and properly recognized? Bann Tabris was popular and Nola was certainly a happy wife. Last she'd heard Tabris was working on his fourth child.

 

“Alistair.” She said and Tavaiya smiled, ignoring the pain of being crushed in armor. “A suggestion?”

 

“Please. Please before they make me be all serious again and for fucks sake Tavaiya what are you doing here?” He was whispering but any elf there would have been able to understand them.

 

“You heard Elan died at the conclave? Herald pulled a Warden style impossible maneuver and I'm sort of assisting.” She used her words carefully because despite all his Mabari like goofy behavior Alistair's capabilities were there, and he was very smart in some specific ways. His brain grabbed the offering.

 

“Oh.” He set her down and nodded, as if they hadn't just whispered and hugged each other after she pranked the King of Ferelden. Tavaiya even heard someone grumbling 'that damn Lord Seuin's knife ear guard. Let's just hope this time we don't all get sent running laps in competition because someone got the King and Commander and Captain of the Guard in a drinking bet again..'

 

Yes. She did love her reputation. Orlais, Crows, and the rogues? Tarnished Jackal, like a bard only more prickly and sneaky. Ferelden nobility? Oh gods it's the crazy knife ear that guards a noble and has _issues.._ and knows the king.

 

“Fiona..since you and your mages have abused our hospitality, in light of the Kirkwall disaster perhaps even damaging my gift at the end of the Blight to abolish the Circle's of Fereldan being controlled by outside forces..” Alistair's voice was back to being regal as he addressed them, and for just a moment Tavaiya could see him as Alistair, King, instead of Alistair adorable goof who had a rumored elfin mistress who just so happened to be Tabris's cousin..

 

“I..forgive me we..” Fiona started but Alistair held up a hand and his gaze was steel.

 

“I strongly suggest, if they still will have you, aiding the Inquisition in sealing the Breach currently threatening all of us as a show of good faith. After that, I will consider with my advisers what action to take.”

 

It was better than what Tavaiya had meant to imply and when Fiona nodded, before any of those present whom she had spent months with now could think to ask how she bloody well knew the King and in such a way, he ruffled Tavaiya's hair.

 

“You, on the other hand, need to come visit.”

 

“Right.” Tavaiya drawled and he grinned.

 

“No, really. Tabris isn't the only parent to be, you know a few others. Even his cousin and that smart alec who keeps running off to the dalish only to get returned seems to have gotten married.”

 

And Tavaiya was amazed that Alistair had learned subtlety and she felt her lips soften as she looked up at him. Perhaps it was unconventional and people judged them but she knew. There was actual love and if not for the upheaval there would have been a red headed elfess as consort, and Tavaiya was thrilled over it.

 

“When the breach is sealed I'll do my best.”

 

That done, a few words shared with Tam, and Alistair left with his guards. By the time anyone turned to see where Tavaiya was and ask about what they had seen, she was long since gone.

()()()()()()()

 

Leliana of course found her first, then again the former bard had spent a lot of time in Redcliffe and it wasn't that unusual she'd guess where another rogue would go hole up. “It never came up that you were close to Alistair.”

 

“Small world.” And if her smile was a bit too sharp, a bit too false, so was Leliana's. Those who kept secrets hated sharing them.

 

“He traveled with Amell.” And for all the good the bard tried for, her voice ever so softly warmed when saying the surname of her love.

 

“Hm. Currently his mistress is cousin to my friend before Elan, and one I stayed in contact with.”

 

“The red head? The one who attacked the Arl's son and her cousin murdered him in defense of a spoiled wedding? Heard he was conscripted for the Wardens but then never made it..”

 

“Tabris fell ill on the way to Ostagar. Stopped at Highever, was left behind as he dealt with a bad fever. By the time he was better the Wardens had fallen and he went back to Denerim. The furor had died down by then and some hair dye and cutting the long hair short and what's another elf.”

 

“Now he's Bann and owes Alistair..” Leliana smiled. “I knew that boy could be taught to be a good king. Eventually. I do pity those working with him.”

 

“...Time shattered here. That kind of magic scares me.” Tavaiya whispered and crossed her arms. Leliana nodded, her eyes serious.

 

“During the Blight, we saw many great and terrible things. We ended up in the Fade, tricked by our dreams and a demon of Sloth, we saw ancient powers and the circle Amell grew up in falling apart..I can say honestly massive magics always have a price. I am..wary..of the fallout.”

 

Tavaiya looked over. She nodded and held out her hand. Leliana shook it. A wordless pact. If either noticed in themselves or others, things that were different, they would share notes.

 

“So. Cheese?” Leliana couldn't help but soften for a moment and smile at fond memories. “I'd love to write Amell about your voice trick and his falling for it..”

 

“Oh if you want tales of Alistair..”

()()()()()()()()

 

Varric, perhaps because of being a dwarf, noticed it first. The nightmares were wretched. Shattered, pieced together horrors of feeling red lyrium in his skin. Of loss, of betrayal but he could never make out the faces. Yet he told these at the camp fire to share in the horror. Of moments precious and slight, feelings of reading by candlelight next to another warm body beside him? He kept silent, to himself.

 

Sera woke the camp on the way back though _screaming_ and it took Tavaiya and Cassandra both to calm her, force a brew from Vivienne's crafting down the blonde elf before she sobbed out. “Th' pain just felt so _real.._ Like..like..I'm forgettin it now but I ne'er e'er felt that..” She never dreamed nightmares of anything but torture. Luckily for Sera, she was also one of the first to cease having them.

 

The mages started to feel the same alterations to their dreams, as those who actually explored the fade they spoke of dual overlays and rippling layers, Fiona and her group confirmed when they met them back at Haven. Indeed, it seemed everyone who had been in that room during the displacement often forgot their dreams but it was passed off as being around so much volatile time magic. A few had them stronger, most could not remember what they did. The rogues tried to collect them, piece together anything but all it did was point out that whatever future they had side stepped was bleak. Details were all hidden in personal events no one felt like sharing.

 

Tam's dreams made him gasp awake, clawing at his arms and the Anchor flaring brightly. Tavaiya took to bunking with him because sometimes he'd scramble awake and rip the blanket back to ensure she was there. Nightmares of what he had seen in that future were clear and vivid, far more so than those who had just been in the area when the spells went off instead of being pulled through; and Tavaiya frowned. “You need to tell someone, Tam. Tell me, tell Leliana..she went through the Blight, she'd understand.”

 

Tam clenched his eyes. “I just..”

 

Tavaiya sighed and her hand traced his cheek. “Isn't Solas something of a dream expert he said?”

 

“A fade walker you mean..yeah..Sominari..I..okay. Good idea. Not yet though. Please.”

()()()()()()()()()()

 

The notes Leliana and Tavaiya gathered, putting their heads together to scramble for scraps of information as Dorian and Tam were not soldiers, not rogues. They needed to come to terms with what they had been through before they could be debriefed and it made both women frown. Every moment without that information was a problem.

 

“Ask the apostate to get the information.” Leliana suggested and Tavaiya frowned at the idea. For some reason just..using..Solas's abilities if they were as strong as Tam had hinted, made her chest ache as if her instincts were rebelling.

 

“If he says no I will not press the issue.”

 

Leliana's eyes went to hers. Her lips quirked. “Don't go soft, Jackal.”

 

“Teeth aren't always needed, Nightingale.”

 

In the end the logic won out and though for some reason the hoarfrost and honeywine Solas had seemed all the stronger and yet askew, as if there was something slightly off, Tavaiya could still figure out where in Haven he was hiding. It was like a tugging on her senses that eased only when she drew nearer. It made her face scrunch up because really, this was different.

 

“Quite the expression, what may I do for you?” Solas asked as he looked up from the plant he had been gathering with amusement leaking out of his magic.

 

“Apologies, I just have felt a little..off..since Redcliffe.” The answer slipped out before she had meant to give it and Solas straightened up, tilting his head.

 

“I see. The herald approached me yesterday morning about helping with his dreams and yet when I approached them in the fade they turned misty and eluded me. This has occurred in the few I went to try and view, to satisfy a theory mind you rather than to intrude, also of those present. To a one, the moment I attempt to make sense of the muddled viewing their dreams slip away. I have..” Solas paused. “Forgive me this must be terribly dull for one who doesn't share the same interests.”

 

Tavaiya tilted her head, mimicking his earlier action. “You've not spoken to me so distantly in a while. What has changed?”

 

“I am not certain.” It sounded rough and honest and the flickering of his crackling magic almost pulled a smile from Tavaiya. So, he had not meant to say that to her anymore than she had to tell him she felt off either.

 

“You needn't tell me anything, Solas. I've said to Leliana if you refused when I asked I would not press the issue. I'm no mage but I cannot imagine forcing your magic to do something you have a lack of desire in is a pleasant experience.”

 

“..there is that.” He said and she watched his shoulders relax. “I was admittedly, surprised.”

 

“Surprised?”

 

“The casual address you had with the King of Ferelden..”

 

That startled a laugh out of her. “Truly? He is just a man. One with a heavy burden and title, and powers that are fey to all of us as his place as a Warden but he is still a man. I remind him of that, I respect what he does and yet you know what his letters tend to be to me, and Elan when he lived? Complaints that those around him thought he could not put on or take off his own boots. That people denied him the pleasure of going for a walk without a guard. Alistair is Alistair to me.”

 

Hoarfrost shifted, almost seemed to become another flurry of snow entirely before it settled, gentle along her shoulders. Snow had never felt 'curious' to her before, or content and the taste of honeywine was more sweetened. Pleased. “I see. No matter the place or time, those who look at the souls beneath their lauded ranks are rare indeed.”

 

“Probably why he keeps threatening me with nobility. He punished my friend Tabris by making him Bann.”

 

“The one who ate a snail upon your dare?” Solas's smirk was playful and when she looked at him startled, it only grew more so. “I do listen when you speak, Tavaiya. You have done me such a kindness after all. To not return the favor would be unbearably rude.”

 

“Hm, stars forbid you be rude instead of just witty and snarky.”

 

“Stars? I have noticed, you swear neither by maker, by the dalish gods..”

 

“Oh get me angry enough or frustrated and my habit of swearing by entirely pointless things is likely to show up again but stars and shadows, or shadows and secrets are ...” She made a hand motion. “Secrets and Shadows protect you is something of a very old rogue's saying. Fell out of favor but finding it in a nice dusty old tome made me think it sounded more elegant than 'Maker' or whatever the dalish had. Stars are something ..” She paused and blushed, it seemed well over a year ago since they last stood in the snow and teased each other. Indeed, Tavaiya felt as if there was a score of conversations they never had and she had to remind herself of that.

 

“Ah..”

 

“Side effect?”Solas prompted her gently. “You seem to be trying to find the words.”

 

“More I am debating if the explanation is worth giving away some of the Antivan I said to you when you were saying only Elvhen.”

 

Solas smirked then. “Save it, I rather enjoyed the game.”

 

“You'd be wicked at chess if that is the case.”

 

“I've won a game or two.”

()()()()()()()()()

 

It felt strange. They were stiffer in their conversations, stilted. Solas had never before sensed the commonly referred to, deja vu feeling of being in this situation before, as now. He rubbed at his own fingers discreetly as if warming them. In all truth he had told her about the other dreams and not held back. It was as if his very ability with the Fade did not let him see the time corruption, perhaps if not for all that he would have figured it as a sort of mass illusion. A delusion. But he saw dreams that shifted and warped and fled the clarifying ability he simply carried by his very nature. Every mage spoke of feeling as if they had a little too much of the Fade in them now and were adjusting. Indeed, such was the case currently for him but it was more his body was still so very depleted from at the average height of his pre-veil days.

 

He watched Tam and saw the boy all but falling apart, finally come to ask for his help and planned to visit his dreams that evening, to pour over them in every small detail as subtly as he could and ideally keep Tam ever unaware of the dreams as he had them. Because there must be clues within.

 

Vivienne and Dorian kept their own council, and there was something strange fluctuating between angry and dangerous more than ever to Leliana, and soft as she looked at all of them. He would never have pictured her as sensitive but she did claim visions from the maker.

 

It always came back though, to the little Jackal. He had felt discomforted when the King held her and the easy camaraderie, yet again she had a contact that seemed so out of place until you heard the tale. He was a handsome enough human though, and there was affection, history. It had bothered Solas in a way that made him step back and distance himself from the rogue.

 

It was truthfully none of his business.

 

Even if it felt like it was.

 

“Have your dreams bothered you?” He asked, continuing the earlier topic as she started helping him gather the elfroot and herbs. Indeed it was something of a trick to watch a dream without an invite, he could, but it took mana he was trying to store up.

 

“A little.” And she shifted, looked to the side. “They confuse me more than anything.”

 

“Howso?” He didn't expect anything of course. She'd give him an answer and neglect to tell him five more. This time saw her blow at the wisp of hair falling in her face before she came to a decision.

 

“I've never dreamed _right._ ”

 

Solas felt curiosity burn through his mind. “What defines, right? You did ask a great deal of questions when the topic of my walking the Fade first emerged, all the way back in the Hinterlands.”

 

“I don't dream..forward? I suppose is the best way to put it. I remember. Sometimes they are stupid idle tasks, sometimes it's moments I do not wish to remember. Now I am dreaming and remembering small parts of those moments but they aren't mine and yet..they are. If that makes any sense?”

 

“Hm.” And Solas fell silent as his mind absolutely was set of fire with the idea. It both bore out and ran entirely in contrast to many theories he himself once had on dreams and the Fade. How those who were not mages perhaps dreamed differently but this was yet again so different that it made him curious. “Mayhaps with an example. I could observe..if that is easier? Though I am doing so for Tam..”

 

Tavaiya's skin went a deep red on her ears though she still did not blush on her face. Ah. Those sort of dreams.

 

“My apologies, it is hardly my business whom you will..or did..as the case may be..” Yet she made such an entertaining sound, almost a barking squawking noise to get him to cease that it made Solas laugh. Casting his gaze down as he began nudging out a particularly stubborn bit of elfroot's stem caught in another plant he was unaware of the sharp gaze at his back when his magic cracked in disagreement with his words.

 

“They're more welcome than the infiltration of the Templar's base. I've no idea how to discuss that one without ending up with a sword against my throat.” Came the unexpected confessional and Solas hummed once in agreement. Now that was a complication. Invaluable information to be certain but by all means dangerous to share. Perhaps if he proved he could keep a secret however.

 

“Can you select which of these you view?”

 

“I didn't think that was possible.”

 

Solas smirked, pleased that he'd stunned her so. “It can be done by a skilled dreamer.”

 

“Of which I have the pleasure of currently getting my hands dirty with.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

“....maybe.”

 

He had to fight a chuckle. That was neither a yes or a no, how like a rogue. “You do know where to find me if you decide to.”

 

It was interesting to see her war with duty, with her fears. Admirable when she straightened and looked at him with a heavy sigh. “Can you control which I focus on?”

 

“If invited in for the dream? Yes. You'll still need to focus on it..and for one such as you are describing it will be viewed in it's entirety but I can stabilize it.” The rest of the alterations from time magics have distorted things but Solas was confident in his abilities to do as he had offered. He watched in curiosity as she closed her eyes, visibly shuddering, but whatever information she had glimpsed 'templar infiltration' sounded most ominious; Tavaiya felt needed to be found.

 

“Tonight?”

 

“I may have time after the herald.” He agreed and yet he found himself laughing as she deflected her nerves once more with a comment. The chuckle slipping out before he could tighten his lips.

 

“Going from one elf to another in a single night? My, my Solas..takes a good deal to tire you out does it?”

 

“You have no idea.” He smirked but did not look at her. He may have seen her shamelessly glance over his form if he had with a sly grin that warned she was not entirely in the dark.

 


	15. Chapter 15

AN: Thank you to Cindy_Cerberus and JaegerMeister for the constant feedback. It spurs me on.

 

We explore dreams and see a little of what was in the Red Lyrium future. Also Elan and Bickerflirting. Next chapter comes a certain bull tearing up the place.

()()()()()()()()()

 

Leliana was no stranger to peculiar dreams. Meeting herself in one? That was new. Her hideous, ruthless, haggard self. She never said anything, just looked at her as if trying to pass information on with her eyes. When the exposure to those time magics began to fade in time, Leliana was relieved. She did not need to know what could have been unless it was with information to help keep it from coming to pass. Now, if she could just get Tavaiya to actually pull the information from Solas. She was not blind, even now constricted in such bands of iron as her heart was the former bard knew when she was looking at someone falling. And those who cared rarely had the strength to go against their hearts for things.

 

The dance the two were weaving with each other though, was entertaining. If not for that perhaps Leliana would never have noticed that Solas had _secrets_ and kept them close to his chest. But she'd known Zevran and known many a person besides that said one thing and did five others. The problem with it was she could see in every gesture, tiny smile and rambling that meant nothing to those awake and alive -if not for these strange dream leftovers- that he was the one pulling the Jackal closer into his sphere of influence. Like how Amell had done to Leliana...yet, just like her and her Warden; Tavaiya was also pulling on Solas. Two great forces, both understated, making the other move slightly out of orbit. There was still time to interfere before they found the balance however..Leliana remembered that stage herself all too well, before she yielded to following Amell.

 

Vivienne was trying, and doing well she had to admit. Leliana was unsurprised that the famed Madame de Fer was such an opponent but Leliana still had a chance to come out the winner. If not for one person that seemed entirely unaware of his ability to inspire loyalty. Tam Lavellan, the herald. Already from the start the two elves had been drawn to each other, and now Leliana was left uneasy when she'd see the group discussing -finally discussing!- the events that had been going on around Redcliffe with Dorian often in tow.

 

Three mages. A rogue.

 

The real question was, how many directions were those loyalties in?

 

Once Leliana would have been certain it was four. Now, though he was unaware of being the spider at the center of a web he was merrily spinning..perhaps it was three unrelated goals and yet each content to be wrapped in the cocoon of the unaware Herald.

 

Leilana frowned but came to a decision. She needed to ensure Tam had a left hand of his own. Perhaps it was time to pull different strings. Instead of pulling Tavaiya in as her own agent, it was time to teach her so she could become Tam's. It would need to be kept secret, silent. No, Leliana decided, her eyes going over the figures as Dorian was explaining some complex formula judging by the flying hands and interest in the eyes of the two mages..the rolling eyes and fingers toying with wire behind her back of a bored rogue.

 

This was something to approach only Tavaiya on and not even her own potential replacements would know what she was teaching the Jackal.

()()()()()()()()

 

Varric kept words of his Red Lyrium madness dreams close to his heart and found them easier to recall. His lips sealed but he wrote, he wrote feverishly in long code that unless you were the author would never know about the many heartbroken tales he captured with his pen. Never know that it was his nightmares. Dwarves did not know the Fade as others did, so when they dreamed it was vivid and finally with the last of his pleasant memories down, the horrid ones long since written, edited, burned and the remaining ones sent to Leliana. Without the names of his betrayers, those he had been in contact with. He did not trust the lovely spymistress _that much._ Varric looked at his work.

 

No one would ever guess that this, the long awaited Swords and Shields sequel, his worst selling bit of trash, was what he knew..

 

And if it was his first foray into a 'chaste romance' well he could claim it was to lure in the Chantry lovers instead of because there was too much baggage for the main characters to have overcome in a year. Though, he thought the twist of a certain Seeker as just a proud warrior who made something of herself from a little nobody was one she would overlook. The cranky heartbroken useless dwarven bard though? Well it'd take someone who knew him better than the facade he put out to recognize him in that wretch. Like _Hawke._ For all this romance it was based on may never come to be, the idea was in his head now and Varric could not help but wonder..

 

He'd publish the story. If it never came to pass that those nights he recalled reading to a long form more muscles than curves that lay beside him, hair unbound into a surprisingly glorious blanket of black silk that softened and yet enhanced the face below. A contrast to her form, her scars. The poetry of her hair was like the lacing on a delicate corset meant to only be seen by a lover. Corsets though were steel boned and rigid as much as they enticed. Just like her. Not that Cassandra would have ever worn one. Hmm. Imagine if she did?

 

Varric closed his eyes and smiled. It was...quite the sight.

 

“Okay. Need a drink.”

()()()()()()()()

 

The tranquil sought Tavaiya out.

 

In their own way of course, they were not so obvious, but when Tavaiya passed one of them whispered. “Are you able to spare a moment?” In that soft monotone..

 

Tavaiya could not have turned away then. She made her excuses and stepped away from Sera, the other rogues they'd been practicing archery with who were all too swift to leave. Her eyes met many orbs, glassy and complacent. They drew her in to the abandoned cabin in the woods that had been cleared, cramming in the group of tranquil who would not complain about comfort or the lack there of. “The green is..rippling.” One finally said. She swallowed and looked at his bearded face. The one who had spoken to her first in redcliffe.

 

“There was time magic.” She explained then the best she knew, because no one would think to tell the tranquil anything.

 

The more fools they.

 

“There is always a backlash when using a conduit for such power.” An old tranquil said, hands damaged and scarred but still able to enchant. “It has been documented in books that were burned when I was younger. Heretical they said. None should mess with time, such was quoted.”

 

Tavaiya felt _fear_ then because this had happened before if it had been written down; and she nodded. Somehow she had gotten in the middle, literally, of all the tranquil. “Do you remember anything about the side effects?”

 

“In time they shall fade. The stronger the will, the imprint, the longer it will take to linger. The more one denies it the sooner. Those who merely accept it and move on will do best. So was written by another tranquil.”

 

“How has it affected you?”

 

“We were not there. We just sense the change around us when those who were..are. It is..loudest with you.” Because she was different.

 

“You must tell no one.”

 

There was a strange silence, heavy, weighted by those who could think but not feel before the bearded one spoke again. “It would be good to pass on what we know if you continued to visit.” They could not ask, they could not desire.

 

But they _could_ feel that faintest awareness of her because as much as they were severed from the fade they had known it once and Tavaiya was becoming more aware from her dreams, frighteningly clear as they were for her way of dreaming was to see memories, that if Solas had suspected all mages in time and exposure could become aware of her?

 

So too could the tranquil in the same way they still could sense but not connect to the fade. Yet they sensed contentment in the company of a little elf rogue. Their own tranquility minutely echoing back at them, so small if they were not cut off entirely the faint result would have been ignored.

 

“I'm not so cruel as to deny that to you but it..bothers me.”

 

“It does to everyone. There is no logic in it.”

 

“No there isn't. For what it is worth I'm sorry I'm so scared of you all. You have given no reason to be.” It was enough she could admit to it, they knew they should appreciate that even if they couldn't feel such, and they let her go. She went to the tavern to find Varric. He'd have the good stuff and her flasks were empty.

()()()()()()()()

 

That night she slipped into her dreams with a relaxed set of muscles from the burn of whiskey that Varric had slipped to her. The moderately good stuff. Flavored. She was going to tease him over having cherry flavored alcohol for ages now. So when she climbed beneath her blankets with the door locked it took almost no time for the world to be supplanted with a memory.

 

For just a moment it seemed to be another memory before the faintest dissonance cried out to her veins as it began. A Red Lyrium timeline dream then...

 

She opened her eyes with a breath in of cold air that scented of smoke and sweat, Haven. And she was utterly filthy could tell by the itch of her skin and the aches in her bones, had been somewhere that wrung every last bit of energy from her and her ear was burning in pain. Well...this was new. She was being held, hands clasped above her head and could feel sweat and exhaustion shaking her limbs from where she was pinned to the tree behind her, helping to hold her up. Her lips were parted, puffs of air coming free.

 

“Not the cabin?” She felt her lips move, pull into an amused smile. Contentment despite her state suffused her being as the honeywine slid down her lips. Indulgence.

 

“Hmm. I doubt you could stand walking so far since I found you collapsed out here in the snow..so we can do this now.” Solas all but purred, but his free hand, not the one holding her still, was between them with the gentle healing light. She could sense it had already coursed through her in a rough hurried job and now he was taking his time. She must have been in bad shape. “And this...?” It was then he traced the awful mass of scar tissue of her right ear as he tried to undo the worst of it. Thankfully it had not marred her tiny black feather tattooed there _-she had a tattoo? But ..a crow feather...Damian?!-_ “They hit you with something...”

 

“Wasn't red. About all I know of it. Burned the air like acid.” She managed to get out even as her eyes fluttered closed and her body arched. The coiling of healing power flowing over her damaged ear. The short cut of her hair curling wild around her jaw, moved aside by his fingers. Her hair was shorter? The dual awareness was confusing but she knew, yes, her hair was shorter. That was new. She wasn't talking about her hair so she'd likely cut it before whatever hurt her ear so badly. Solas left a gap between them.

 

“Odd angle...?” She pointed it out, aware even as she observed the memory from within her own form that he was not holding himself easily. Back a bit too far from her, as if he wanted more space.

 

“Oh, the better to watch you this way..” His tone was teasing and deep. It made her shiver, the coil of his hoarfrost putting the real snow around them to shame.

 

She felt the soft echo of his drum song, the taste of honey on her lips. Felt his hand shift it's hold as he sensed the return of his power after filtering through her.

 

Her eyes cracked open, wanting to see his reaction, and then she saw the form in far better attire, over Solas's shoulder if just barely in range to hear them.

 

Well this was interesting.

  
She hadn't sensed the non memory version until she saw him, and still all she felt was the Solas from the dream, drowning her in his power. That meant Solas could likely not sense anything because he wasn't part of this memory. That..that helped. When it didn't confuse her.

 

Because yes she was basically being caught in a suggestive position, dreaming of him, and it was a memory that had never happened. Hm. Why was her life so strange?

()()()()()()()()()

 

Solas had slipped from Tam's dreams, disturbing to see the beginnings of the time spent in the future and fragmented as it was, he had managed to reassure the Herald. On a whim he had slipped over, welcomed now with the given invitation, to Tavaiya's dreams having felt her so poignantly in the fade he presumed it must be related to her comments of not dreaming right.

 

The feel to the dream was sharp and he felt the air rush from his lungs. This was a memory but he would be an observer not participating. He watched as the memory of himself taunted her softly, hands pinned above her against a tree and her allowing it as he checked over her wounds. How she trembled and keened at the touch of his healing magic. Sensitive to it. He'd known that but it seemed this other version of himself had turned it into a sort of deeper game.

 

The dirt and blood that covered her, especially the discarded gloves nearby proved she had been in quite the battle for an extended time. Her hair was short, in messy singed curls no longer than her jaw. Yet the hunger his memory counterpart expressed when her eyes were closed and he felt free to do so was striking. He was hiding it, but not entirely.

 

What had he learned? What had changed? Was it just knowing at any moment Corypheus could bring the end?

 

And then she opened her eyes and locked them onto him in a strange distortion to the viewing as the memory paused. There was a crackle, the memory could slip away and be stopped. A moment, a decision made before she looked back at the Memory of Solas and observing Solas stabilized the dream. He was startled. To say the least at the setting and she was permitting it to continue, but if she thought there was something he needed to observe here, it probably was more than just their teasing. Although, he was getting an idea now of how far he could push in their games.

 

“Tell me of them.” Solas whispered as his glowing hand trailed to heal her split lip. “Your truth. Not what you'll sing for the Nightingale.” And not knowing what code his own self was using was an entirely new form of frustration for the Fade Walker, who felt himself crossing his arms and being annoyed at this technically older form. It was..different. He wanted to lecture himself. A new level of insanity even for him.

 

“Madness.” She confessed as if being interrogated in this way was a comfortable normal for them, healing and speaking out of sight. Was the cabin not secluded enough? They were well down Haven's side trail here. “A demon of envy saw a chance and took it, they've been taking red lyrium. A few perhaps could be saved but over all they are all twisted and corrupted exulting in their dissonant madness..and they seemed to be able to find me.” She sighed then and his hand paused, hesitation in every line. “They could sense the magic in my knives...my pendant...”

 

“You had to leave your gear behind.” He sounded sad, understanding. That he would know any of the meanings behind such trivialities left the observer feeling an intruder. Upon his own self! One memory he did not even have. He wondered, what would it be like to question her in such a manner? Perhaps he would try it next time. It appeared that healing magic loosened her tongue even as she shivered she did not appear to consider withholding information.

 

“All of it.” She agreed. “Anything touched by lyrium or enchantment seems to call out to their twisted form of Red Lyrium. Which means..” She swallowed and he let go of her hands, just leaning it against the tree and over her. Still close but not touching, eyes locked to each other, and her hands closed the gap to rest on his chest. Fingers coiling in his sweater and then smoothing the action away. “Anyone who has ever taken Lyrium recently can be tracked by a user of red lyrium. Anyone bearing a lyrium enchanted item..”

 

“Whittling down opposition..” Solas agreed. His eyes looking off into the distance. “Tracking us down when we leave Haven.”

 

“Yes.” She agreed and Solas's hand went to her cut hair, twisting in the curls and gently pulling like one would to the ears of a beloved pet. Or a lover.

 

“Tell me.” It was an order, a plea. A sound Solas was never expecting to hear from his own lips. His mouth parted to say something more, a nickname?

 

The memory _snapped_.

 

The dream faded for all he held control the true dreamer had ended it, and they were now surrounded by the endless green of the fade. Tavaiya stood there, arms crossed.

 

“That was sudden.” He teased her, and saw her ears flush pink.

 

“I have had that one before.” She admitted. She didn't want him to see, or hear, what came next. Curious. He was tempted to tease, to push..but instead he had the strangest surety that what he really needed to do, was instead..

 

“They have been repeating?” Deflect. After all, she probably just lost whatever additional level of the game their other selves had created, and he did know Tavaiya disliked how often she lost footing in their interactions. Yet, she'd always come back and try anew. It was refreshing.

 

“I won't remember. Not really, when I wake they'll leave an idea..but I remember them right now, right after.”

 

“You aren't fighting them. Well, except at the end. You were aware though..so that was a memory..” Solas recalled that scents and the like had been included, even the feel of the air and it's temperature. “Did you experience it in awareness of memory or firsthand?”

 

“Both as strange as it sounds, usually it is how it goes. So that part of things hasn't changed.”

 

Solas couldn't resist staring at her, this anomaly. “Fascinating...”

 

“Is it?”

 

A shake of his head and a chuckle. “I have wandered the Fade, seen the dreams of many, and though often their memories color them and are used to twist and play for the spirits and demons in the fade, their own minds coming up with fantastic scenarios..to experience a memory over and over? It is not so unlike when I explore an area in the Fade only they are never _my_ memories.”

 

Tavaiya frowned, her hand going to rub at her chest as if something burned at her. “Well...okay. So I'm crazy.”

 

“That, my dear, was hardly ever in doubt.” Solas teased, enjoying the look she shot him. Her hackles up and eyes flashing so different from when she'd been held against the tree just now in her memory.

 

“You're smirking.”

 

“Hmm.” He had no doubt that he was. “You _enjoy_ being healed.”

 

Tavaiya blinked, then laughed. It was a rough and wild tone here in the Fade, echoing and undulating. Still it was sharp with amusement, relief. “What can I say, you've magic fingers.”

 

“That was awful.”

 

“That is the point. Antivan humor..”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Antiva is about pleasure. Including in bad jokes, they make a hobby of terrible poetry on sex, food, wine..it's considered something of an acquired taste to make terrible innuendo's and sets apart the native speakers from the others. I was subjected to a great deal of it to be certain I learned.” Tavaiya flickered a hand not even trying to play the 'I don't speak Antivan fluently' line any longer, then paused, thinking. “Can I pull up any memory then, with you here to stabilize?”

 

“Perhaps. It depends on your focus, your willpower. If you know the exact one start to remember the details. The more you can recall the easier to summon and then I can hold it. Provided of course you don't stomp it away like a child with a tantrum again.”

 

The teasing was discarded by her though as she tilted her head, deep in thought. “Okay. I'm going to try with something non traumatic..if it works, then we'll go to what I think you need to see..”

 

Need. Curious choice of words. It was her subconscious of course he knew, for Tavaiya had already said she did not remember much on wakening. But the mind in the Fade was a wondrous thing, it was part of why everything was easier for him here. More like before, here, even the diminished ones almost seemed real. Beside him Tavaiya was steady and strong, as if her presence in the Fade was so natural she didn't even seem to draw attention unless you knew to look for her. Perhaps more telling, she was...comfortable. Content.

 

Generally even mages were alarmed at the emerald landscape.

 

So lost in his observations when the area twisted he was almost startled. And then he held perfectly still.

()()()()()()()()()

 

“Again.” Elan slowly stood, shaking his head. Long dark brown hair had come loose from it's tail as he stood off the ground, hefting his shield. His other hand was bare of a weapon.

 

“Elan..” Tavaiya said, younger, slimmer. Not yet as strong. Her hair was in a tight braid down her back and she was gripping a pair of daggers. “You used a lot of mana already, you sure?”

 

“Yeah. You don't mind right? Still up for it?” Elan's brown eyes looked over her, worried, making certain. They were out in the middle of the woods for privacy, and the ground around them showed furrows in the earth and scorch marks.

 

“Try to avoid fire. Trees you know?” Tavaiya smirked at him before she fell low into a crouch, ready to spring. “Barrier first.”

 

“Damn things are tricky so small...” Elan mumbled. It took doing, great concentration before the faint bubble like hue popped in, only over his shield. Tavaiya didn't wait for any more of a signal, leaping at him. Elan slammed the shield up and the barrier placed over it fragmented like so much glass, Tavaiya having been thrown back. She twisted mid air, launching at him again. This time small bursts of electricity came from his free hand arcing at her. She wasn't as graceful yet as she would be, only fourteen at the time, but she still managed to evade, all but the last one which she twisted away from her using her weapon, ignoring the shock to her body as she then vanished into stealth, appearing at his back and kicking his legs out from under him.

 

“That was better!” Tavaiya grinned down at him and Elan smiled back.

 

“Yeah, it held for a real hit! That was wonderful, okay..let's hide the evidence and get back..”

 

The two youths dusted themselves off, splitting a poultice before they began walking and the dream faded.

 

“That was Elan.” Solas stated. He didn't need to ask, it was obvious. “An impressive idea, localizing a barrier..less effective.”

 

“He was in hiding. Yet, a noble getting an enchanted shield?”

 

Solas sucked in a breath eyes wide as he realized the ramifications. “Which may only be good for one or two uses before the enchantment is spent for a time...deflecting all potential questions or demands of proof..the lightning then if he figured it out was to be blamed on another item?”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Truly inspired. Where did you learn of such a thing?”

 

Tavaiya smiled over at Solas. “He came up with it all on his own...he may have been a weak mage, but he was a _brilliant_ fighter for strange methods.”

 

Tavaiya, in the Fade, was treated to the sight of Solas looking entirely flabbergasted that a human had come up with such an idea where barely the most minute trickle of magic was present. A human _child._

 

“I think I see..why you were so vicious on his being more than just another drunken noble lout.” Solas yielded with a smile. “Still, forgive me if I insist there must have been a great deal of your influence into the exact choice of applications...?”

 

“The barrier shield was my idea, but the faking enchantments? That was his.”

 

Solas just shook his head. “A pity I shall never meet him.” And for once, he meant it.

 

Tavaiya nodded, wistfulness permeating her for a moment and savoring the unique shift to Solas's magic here in the Fade. It was stronger, brighter, truthfully if she'd not the certainty anything strange here could be overlooked she may have worried. But the drums that usually signified his magic now had strings and cadence as if it was some great ballad and the hoarfrost was not just curling and blowing into forms but seemed as if where he walked it was creating a space around him that wished to hide and announce his presence all at once.

 

The honeywine..had changed. The sweetness now was richer, less like mead and more like wassail. The crisp fruity white wine flavors had deepened, mellowed into something more like what she preferred. It caused an ache in her chest as though she wanted to scratch something that was just below the surface but she couldn't imagine that soft burning to no longer be present. If in the waking world Solas was impossible to ignore, here he dominated the terrain.

 

It was, oddly, comforting. As if she _knew_ at any point she could slip away or pull free. It was a domination of the area, not of her. A respectful control and release upon her dreams as she dictated.

 

“What is it?” He spoke softly and Tavaiya glanced up at him, aware her focus had entirely been on the Fade and how it felt to have him there. So immersed was she in the echos of his magic she answered honestly.

()()()()()()

 

“I feel complete here. It's a shame I'll forget it when I wake up.” Her voice was soft, like a secret falling from her lips.

 

Her words devastated Solas. Because this is what she should know, this sensation _was_ a completion for the elves and that she was unaware of it, that she was denied due to his actions? It made his shoulder's feel heavy and reminded him of the blood on his hands. How much more there would be before this was all done.

 

“You had something I need to see?” He reminded her instead because if he started to talk about the Fade and how it made her feel, one who dreamed as he'd never heard of before, he may never stop. The self loathing for all the generations that had suffered never to know what they could have been was already drowning him. It was bittersweet then to see the way she looked out at the Fade with a fondness permeating her gaze.

 

He watched her shore herself up and nod. “Focus on what is going to be on the desk. It's brief.” Not on what else? The curiosity ate at him but if it was brief he could hardly ask her to repeat something that disturbed her so just to look around.

 

“Very well.”

 

He was not prepared to see his cabin.

 


	16. Last day before the Haven attack

AN: Bull, confused Solas, and Varric-fluff. Next chapter is the Haven attack so enjoy a short lighter one first. Though the one after that is going to be Dorian and Tam finally talking. My Dorian seems to have a library encounter kink.

()()()()()()()()()()

 

Solas was indeed, shocked. It was his cabin..but he recalled her asking him to focus on the desk and so he would. But as a Fade Walker there was a reason that bringing him into a dream was a risk that required an invite, in doing so she gave him permission to control her perception of the Fade. So he slowed it. She wouldn't notice, she was peculiar in her dreaming but not a Sominari as himself. It gave him time to look around he would not have otherwise had.

 

It was colder seeming than he recalled. As if no one had the wood to spare. Solas knew he would have warming glyphs in locations he spent the most time then, to conserve energy. None of that was evident. He furrowed his brow at the idea that he would spare such a common use of mana..unless truthfully, there was not a spare drop left. If so the healing he had witnessed in that memory would have been much more costly than either was acting. Perhaps, that as much as they words that were being exchanged was why they remained outside Haven in it. Avoiding questions.

 

Slowly Solas raked his eyes about. The potions tools lay dormant, as if there had been no supplies for a long time. A pack, ready to go in the corner. A second, settled beside it but smaller made him raise a brow. Why would he need a second one? There was no other bed in here or evidence of anyone else. Indeed his gaze went over to where Solas was asleep in the memory dream, in a few layers of all things pointing out that no, he was not using a warming glyph. Well if he had someone else coming to leave their things perhaps he would not risk it. Slowly he walked over to the desk, noticing he had sped up from the dream so much-indeed that was how one slowed it, one simply employed magic to increase how fast they were going to slow everything else in contrast- and cast his eyes over Tavaiya.

 

One who was clad only in his shirt.

 

It honestly made his thoughts cease for a moment. Too long as the green overtook the landscape again and she was looking up at him. Solas had the feeling, and it was not pleasant, that she knew he'd looked around.

 

“You didn't listen.”

 

“You were in my shirt.” It slipped out entirely without his control and to his relief the apparent bafflement he was feeling, and blurting out so easily, made her laugh.

 

“Oh! I didn't even..right.” And her ears were pink and she sighed. “Earlier in that memory uh, different day for this one, way before the other, you had to cut me out of my shirt. Cauterized leather and skin is really nasty.”

 

He cringed. Yes, yes it would be. “So I simply gave you my shirt?”

 

“I'm a rogue.” And it was said with the expression of 'really?' to the point he had to concede.

 

“Ah forgive my assumptions. You _stole_ my shirt.”

 

“I think it was either that or going out in just the smalls and I was more than a little delirious. Makes memories so much fun when you get to remember all the nasty parts too. Okay..so just..focus again?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Solas?”

 

He looked at her and any teasing was gone. For now at least. “I need you to look at the desk this time. I really, truly, never wish to see the notes again. Please don't make me revisit this. Even if I won't remember it when I wake.”

 

Feeling his brows draw into a frown he nodded, concerned at the actual despair in her tone. Once more the view shifted to the cabin and this time he moved to lean over her shoulder, ignoring Tavaiya to the best of his ability.

 

The moment he began to read the scattered notes, he understood the intake of breath from the memory version of her.

 

Time travel. Well documented and cross referenced. In his handwriting, scrawled out in a mix of common tongues were the horrid side effects and potential options. There were much more damning ones kept obscured in Ancient Elvhen, ones that he had no idea any sane being would consider..this was what they had somehow turned up. Interspersed with languages describing the events from all over. He watched Tavaiya's hands move them about, seeing translations from different tongues, parallels and words he'd written down..horrible things. Concepts, ideas. Desperate ones. Ones that he would have never actually acted on even now. Most of them proving that going back to fix things was always a horrible idea from the accounts they'd managed to find, and forward was worse.

 

Hesitation, as her fingers traced the forms of one.

 

On willing sacrificial blood magic.

 

He swallowed hard but as bidden, began to read. No, he would not make her go through this again. Not when he could guess from the notes lain out, ones suggesting that death from an ally could grant power but from one who cared about them further, that greater acts could happen even a long time down the timeline. The cost being exceptional pain that felt as if it was slowing down time... He knew she was close to all of the Herald's inner circle. They all were. Hadn't Tam confessed all of his companions had perished buying _time_ for Dorian and himself? It had a sinister implication now.

 

“{Red lyrium drives everyone mad...}” Tavaiya's voice was so soft in Antivan if he wasn't over her shoulder he would have never heard it. If he hadn't bothered to learn it thinking she was going to be up to something nefarious with the crow back in Val Royeaux he would have never realized how far this Jackal would go. “{..if it could give them time. Until they think he could return. Keep them sane even a short while...}”

 

Tavaiya's form stilled, and this time she seemed too caught up in the memory to stop it. Perhaps a result of experiencing the memories all over again she would lose herself into them? So Solas stepped back, aware if he stayed out of her sight he would not be detected and ever so curious as to how things had been. Tavaiya turned to look over at where Solas's form slumbered on the bed, and then back down to the notes.

 

“{You're planning something..you've a suspicion..}” it was said in admiration though and she just nodded. “{Well, Solas, you would never ask. So I won't tell you either..}” Tavaiya looked down at the sweater on her form and sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. Her gaze thoughtful before she smiled and clearly not remembering that she had an observer as she stayed in her memory, went to sit beside him on the miserably hard bed and run her fingers along his arm. It was a surprisingly tender gesture, and Solas turned in his sleep, opening his eye nearest where she perched.

 

“I was certain you'd be gone by now.” His voice was rough with sleep but sounded pleased.

 

“Just because you were sleeping?”

 

“It's your favorite way to sneak off without explanation. Or a lecture on not being shot with flaming arrows.” The last part sounded entirely like a chastisement but the elf on the bed has his lips curving into a smile the longer he looked at her.

 

“Convince me not to.” Her voice was soft and teasing and Solas chuckled.

 

“I believe, I shall sleep instead.”

 

“May I stay?”

 

“Hm. It's a cold night to walk to your room.” And Solas moved aside, as if this was normal, as if there was nothing surprising in having Tavaiya wear his sweater and climb in beside him, shrieking suddenly in a soft laugh.

 

“Solas!”

 

“What?” And the Solas observing felt his lips pull into a grin, did he really sound _that_ smug when teasing her? The next words once again surprised him though.

 

“It's too hot under here!”

 

“Just wear less.”

 

Apparently he did have the glyph in one location. And yes, he did sound that smug.

 

“Turn it off.”

 

“I prefer warmth, little trickster.”

 

“I'll stay.” And her voice turned soft, once more he saw her hand reach out to grab and smooth out his sweater, though he couldn't make out their expressions or much of their body language. “You've not the mana to spare.”

 

“Considering you still insist on missing a meal to give me one more I can handle a night of a glyph.”

 

“You don't need to.”

 

“Last time you said that I woke up rather alone.” And there was a subtle snap to his words, before he sighed. “I'm sorry. I know you couldn't help it but..”

 

“For what it's worth..” And they trailed off but something was said perhaps, or it was in her expression because Solas heard his other self settle in with one of those weary heartbroken sighs he never let his guard down enough to give.

 

“/You are such a troublemaker./” Solas mumbled but it was fond, and he was answered in sleepy Antivan.

 

“{Are you commenting on my tattoos again?}”

 

“/I do enjoy you have yet to figure out I understand you../”

 

“{No I don't have any new ones.}”

 

Solas hummed softly, and the dream faded but in such a way he was no longer present in Tavaiya's part of the fade. Apparently she had fallen into dreamless sleep. And Solas now had so much to process it would take a good deal of time.

 

Confusing future.

 

Confusing _woman._

()()()()()()()()

Tam went to meet someone called the Iron bull. Varric sat that one out. Instead he waved as Sera, Tam, Vivienne and Dorian all went on their merry way.

 

Cassandra had stayed.

 

Ever since he had written his dreams down, the good parts, the ones he turned into his newest story, he was itching to see how the Seeker would react. First though he needed to send it off and get it published. Also, he kind of needed to talk to a mage. Because dreams like this were new to the dwarf a usually the dwarves didn't enter the Fade. Now he'd done so in person before, and Hawke was still to blame for that, but generally didn't happen.

 

Also perhaps he was a trifle more sensitive considering Bartrand and that Red Lyrium idol, that he'd spent weeks down around the stuff trying to escape with Hawke and the others. Because for the first time Varric was waking up remembering his dreams and while they were definitely not always real..though seriously he needed to remember dreaming about Dorian and Vivienne doffing massive feathered hats and starting a duel with bread loaves because that was funny..there was parts to them that he knew were.

 

Because until he'd had a dream in a future where he could sense doom coming, and loss, and was just sitting beside Cassandra as she screamed with a letter at their feet talking about family of hers that had died defending the empress..

 

Before the one where he'd been there helping to braid her hair when her hands were too damaged and just smothered in a lesser poultice because the healers were all exhausted. “Sorry, Seeker..there is just no lyrium to spare outside of battle..”

 

“Do not apologize, Varric. I am able to wait. Besides, you are..skilled, with hair.” He knew the way her neck flushed, her voice shifted ever so slightly.

 

“Anytime you want, Cassandra. Hey, I bet some of the fancier braids they made me learn would suit you..used for the warrior caste..”

 

“You may.”

 

“Varric?” And he looked up, dazed. “You okay? You've been out here not firing Bianca at the archery targets all afternoon.”

 

“Yeah, Curly. I'm fine.” Maybe he would be in time.

 

“I was going to the war table..if you are looking for something to do?” Cullen asked a bit awkwardly. Normally perhaps Varric would have shoved the idea aside but there may be a certain seeker there.

 

“Eh why not. Maybe I can keep you from being stupid.” Unlike himself. Because he doubted Cassandra had these weird dreams and he wasn't used to heartache he hadn't even gotten to experience affecting him so.

()()()()()()()

 

The Iron bull was _big._ Also loud. Tam found himself grinning as the disfigured Qunari lay everything out on the table, clearly meant to draw in Tam's trust. It didn't work, but if he only insisted on trusting those who were transparent he would be left alone in a room with a mirror. A broken one.

 

The eye of the Qunari didn't miss that and after dealing with some other issues on the coast, Bull hummed. “You're not as naïve as you let them think you are.”

 

“No.” Tam agreed, and he wasn't. But playing the clueless wide eyed Dalish meant he had an advantage and he wished to keep it. He remembered Tavaiya pulling him aside to explain what everyone thought of him and why it was smartest to go along with it. Unsurprisingly, so far she had been right.

 

“the Vint yours?”

 

Tam chuckles, it seemed Bull was happy going for the heart of the matter. “No. But he's something, isn't he?”

 

“If you need any advice on being with another male..” It was casually said but sounded genuine and Tam blinked, looking up.

 

“I may.”

 

“I'll treat you to some stories. Real ones, not just the shocking ones. It takes a lot of guts you know, to admit you want something you've never tried.”

 

“You're _really_ good at reading people aren't you?”

 

“I may be the best we have.” Bull admitted, no shame because it was not bragging but simple truth.

 

“I can't wait to see you handle our Spymistress..”

 

“She a red-head?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then I **hope** she handles me.”

 

“She won't.” He grinned at the idea. “But if you hit on her please let me be in the vicinity.”

 

“Evil little elf aren't ya boss?”

 

“No. Just kind of in need of a distraction that doesn't involve potential end of the world.” Tam said and grinned. With any luck..they'd close the breach soon. This could all be over, and he could go home with all of the others just good contacts to send letters to. Though it would be a shame not getting to know Dorian better, Tam was truly looking forward to not being anyone notable again.

 

 

 

 


	17. Haven Falls

AN: A last drink as they meet Blackwall. Close the Breach, Haven is lost.

()()()()()()()()

 

It was with the softest of whispers almost sneaking in unnoticed just after sun up that Tam returned to Haven. Apparently when he wished, the Iron Bull and his chargers could be quiet and easily fell in to locating a spot for themselves and then made off to the Tavern, Krem being sent to hash out the details of payment with Josephine.

 

“There you are!” Varric came over with a smile, but his eyes were a little more dark these days since Redcliffe. It seemed to have weighed heavily on him, a feeling Tam could relate to. While everyone else seemed to be forgetting their strange dreams Tam had lived through the experience. A few hours and it felt as if the dalish had been the one to live an extra year, not those who had perished. So it was good to see Varric smile.

 

“I missed your humor, Master Tethras.” He purposefully used the more formal address to make the dwarf snort.

 

“Laugh it up. Come on glow bug, the mages are here and eager to get to work tonight; and they found someone interesting.”

 

Much to the good fortune of the mages who had to make slower time coming from Redcliffe, with so many and unused to travel despite the scouts best efforts, they had run across a traveling Gray Warden named Blackwall who was happy to help defend them. Upon arrival at Haven, Leliana had all but sunk her claws into him and the way Varric told it, had the bemused Warden agreeing to help before he knew what he'd said.

 

“Leliana has that effect on people.” He smiled at the bearded human. Tam waved his glowing hand for emphasis. “Got me to agree to all this stuff just because I woke up no longer needing candles to read at night.”

 

He was rewarded with Blackwall's laughter and a clasp to the shoulder. “Well, you are welcome to tell me all about it.”

 

Later on, tucked into the Tavern for lunch as a light snow fell outside, Tam was able to watch the Chargers interact with the mages and people of Haven. It was a fun sight. The Chargers were boisterous and playful, embracing life in the moment. The scouts were much the same and seemed to all be trading information on places they had been dragged and liked and disliked.

 

Bull had plopped down at their table the moment Varric pulled out the cards and Tam was _very much_ enjoying watching the Qunari tease and fluster Dorian. Vivienne was appalled and kept using snide remarks to then bring Bull in line. Sera?

 

Oh creators. _Sera_.

 

“Soooo your lady folks..they built like you?”

 

“Like me?”

 

“All muscles..” Sera grinned, leering at the idea. “And horns. I like the horns. Too bad ya got the wrong bits.”

 

“Tell ya what, you don't mind being broken in two during the process and I'll see if I can't introduce you to one.”

 

A head leaned on Tam's shoulder and he shivered. It was that strange feeling of safety, like being by the campfire back home. That comfort, it echoed at him when Tavaiya was near. She'd been so relieved to see him, he knew she was also still haunted from Redcliffe and reached to twine their hands together over the table. That his brief disappearance affected her so much had been quite the comfort, honestly and he felt no guilt over that knowing she cared. He knew too well the sight of the dead forms of his friends in that mangled future, of learning he was far too late to even tell Sera and Tavaiya good bye.

 

“I'm here.”

 

“Just reminding myself.” She answered and Tam squeezed her hand.

 

“Are the two of you perhaps..” Dorian started and Tam smiled happily, seeing the uncertainty in the man's eyes as he glanced between them. Questioning. Wondering perhaps if his awkward flirts with the handsome Tevinter really had been on accident. A flush of pleasure he knew was staining his cheeks and Tam didn't care because that Dorian was even asking showed potential for real interest.

 

“She is my Lethallan.” Tam said and grinned, knowing they didn't understand the word. “Clan like. Tavaiya's..family.”

 

“Mmm. Big sister sounds good.” She agreed and there was that sensation again that all was okay. Dorian just nodded and Bull grinned back down at them, his eyes _lingering_ on Tavaiya and Tam together in a way that was anything but tame. Tam really didn't want to know what the Qunari was picturing.

 

“So another feisty thing are you? I've heard a few tales from bumblebee here..”

 

“Feisty is it?” Blackwall interrupted with a knowing quirk to his lips. “Seems to me that could be the second name of this group instead of Inquisition.”

 

“I am _not_ feisty, master Warden.” Vivienne sneered. She took a dainty sip of her soup before continuing winking first over at Tavaiya. Her power smug and controlled as Vivienne always seemed to be inside and out. “I am without equal.”

 

“Whereas I am primarily Fabulous.” Dorian agreed pointing at himself.

 

“Chuckles..?” Varric suggested, noting the elf was rather quiet but he seemed as if he had a headache most the morning. Or was off playing in the Fade, never knew with him.

 

“Surrounded by children” Solas agreed, causing a round of laughter.

 

“But yeah the rest? Feisty? I can agree to that.” Varric nodded and then paused as he realized something. Slowly his grin turned evil. Because Varric had seen how even tight knit groups would disband when reasons no longer held them together and perhaps after this evening it would be the last time. He'd not celebrated a last Tavern gathering with Hawke and the others because Kirkwall had always been threatening to blow. Not as it later did, but the point was he had forewarning that if the green and glowing ceased, fell from Tam's hand, that they'd likely all disperse after this. So he wasn't going to sit on a chance to cause trouble and later lament that he had missed out. “Feisty..wild even..like our _Jackal_ , wouldn't you say Sera?”

 

Dawning realization on her inebriated features Sera let out a loud whooping sound. “Oh yeaaaaahs! Shineeeeyy even!”

 

Tavaiya laughed, her eyes amused. “Oh has it been four weeks then? It seems just a single has passed. Two at best..”

 

“We will make it up to you.” Varric pledged, grinning. His hands rapidly flashing through rogue code. _We may not have tomorrow, or we may all go on separate paths at dawn._

 

With a shrug Tavaiya moved to sit up properly and took a generous gulp of her drink, waiting for Cassandra to be in the midst of hers. It was all the agreement Varric needed.

 

“They found out about two of em, Cass.”

 

Cassandra choked on her drink and Varric pounded her back for her laughing.

 

“Two..of...?” Blackwall fumbled into the opening and Tavaiya shrugged, though her eyes slid to Solas. An open teasing expression and not caring who saw. He'd been hiding out in his cabin all day doubtlessly in the Fade going over what she'd shared. Not that she could remember much of it. Enough to know she'd picked certain memories on purpose when she could have shared ones reporting to Leliana. Tavaiya wasn't worried, as long as she was still _breathing_ most everything else could be figured out.

 

“I wear jewelry in other locations.”

 

It was Bull's roaring laughter now that filled the Tavern. “Oh you got some 'Antivan specials' do you?”

 

“A matched set.” Cassandra offered, clearly willing to blame the drink later on for her behavior. “Well. The piercings. Not the metalwork.”

 

“Well do tell the rest of us..clearly some of us aren't sure what is so special about Antiva.” Dorian drawled. He had propped himself back on his chair, and forgone the rest of his meal for a glass of wine despite the early hours. Most of them were keeping to weak ale as it didn't overpower the bland food.

 

Tavaiya rested her cheek on her palm, but then thought better of it and leaned back. Just in case anyone sent their cup flying. Still her gaze was always half on Solas, remembering a talk late at night in Val Royeaux and explaining her Ifrin. “To put it crudely, Ser Fabulous, it is not so uncommon for rogues in Antiva to pierce certain locations. On men and women, the nipples are two such places.”

 

Tam was red of face and ears and choking. His magic doing the most amusing shrill humming as if she could envision the hummingbird hitting into a tree in the effort to escape the area. It made her smile all the more. “I did not want to know that!”

 

“I did!” Sera whooped, Cassandra was shaking her head, but Tavaiya was just watching Solas's reaction.

 

The hoarfrost was settling over her skin now, like armor as if to hide her away and even cooling the burn that tended to be under the skin on her chest. His eyes had the faintest blue gleam to them before it faded back to his usual steel hue and she just smiled. She'd played her hand. Laid the bait out for the wolf, and now she just needed to wait for him to decide if it was what he wanted this time.

()()()()()

 

Several things had been made far easier to think on when Solas had been alone in the fade for the better part of the day. Since his body had existed mostly when the Veil had not been around his mind honestly _required_ a certain amount of ambient magic to function at it's best. Tam's dreams alone had been troubling, half spurred on by a mage's fear and needing direction but a good deal of what he shared about Redcliffe had proven that time travel as alluring as the sudden proven idea was, ended only in catastrophe.

 

Then there were the implications from Tavaiya that meeting with the Templars, even had the mages not come earlier and been ready to assist with the Breach that evening, would have been a disaster. The very thought of such men being corrupted by an envy demon and red lyrium unchecked to the point that in time they could hunt down those with lyrium at all? So any mage who had taken it within..how long had been 'recent' to Tavaiya's reckoning in that memory? That any enchantment on supplies were a beacon. None of that had eased Solas's mind.

 

There was the notes on an art he had always dismissed- would indeed have still done so despite the dream evidence and passed off as a mass illusion- if not for the ones in his own hand. Notes that had clearly been gathered from vile practices that the worst of the Old Gods, Forgotten ones, and Evanarius would have hesitated over if only briefly. It spoke of a desperation far more urgent than what Solas currently felt. The ancient Elvhen notes had screamed agony and heartbroken acceptance that not even in destroying the world would there be a great enough sacrifice to turn back to _when_ he had created the Veil. Utter madness that he had even considered it for a moment. Still the valid research he had only briefly been able to look into spoke highly of potential options to use that magic in other ways. Ones he would have to consider at a later date.

 

Perhaps in the end, the amusing realization was that Tavaiya had specifically chosen to share _those_ memories with him. Easily, could she have let him see only the parts with the information. Perhaps a memory instead of speaking to Leliana, of gathering the notes but not what had come before or after. Instead she had used it to hint to him. An offer showing 'I know this could be, at least like this.' The fact she had expected him to be distracted by the second memory of them, when she was garbed in his attire spoke of a familiarity be it borne of a time that would never happen, in his reactions.

 

He did have to admit she was a _clever_ rogue even in her subconscious.

 

None of it had shown interactions that had gone further, giving him the option to never allow it to deepen. The offer was instead, that she would welcome what he had seen. She was willing to share information with him she may alter for Leliana. Very willing to keep his secrets and not pry, for that comfortable intimacy of sharing a sleeping space though they had not seemed lovers. Yet. What level of trust had been there in each of the dreams.

 

Solas would have to be the one now to take that first step. He was considering it. There was truly, besides his own secrets, only one reason he kept holding back.

 

Instinct warned him she would not be easily turned away from. As if there was some part of him that remembered the lost year. It was that same instinct that had him watching her after her shocking revelation that yes, those slight ideas on where she may be wearing metal was accurate. The flash of imagery his mind could conjure had him trailing out a wisp of his power to settle on her skin before he thought better of it. He wasn't sure why he did that and so he reasserted his self control. They had other matters to tend to first.

 

Come tonight, he may very well be leaving and once more seeking out his orb.

 

Or she may. Solas found he disliked the idea of her being the one to walk away more than he had expected.

()()()()()()()

 

They gathered not long after to close the breach. Tam looking at his hand, then each of his allies. This was it. The end of the strange few months that started just with spying on the conclave, to see what it would mean for his people. He swept his gaze slowly over those gathered. He hoped, did not believe but hoped, that they would stay in contact with him. As Tam's eyes met with Dorian he felt his lips pull into a smile.

 

What would have been worth seeing was where things could lead with Dorian...

 

Licking his lips once. Tam steeled himself. He was Dalish. For whatever strange reason, the creators had seen fit for him to play this role. Sultry Tevinter accents and a wicked humor that made his heart race was not why he had the anchor. “Let's go.”

 

The mages, Solas, Cassandra...all followed him as they made their way to the breach.

 

It was time.

()()()()()()()()

 

“Take an ambush kit.” Leliana commanded softly as she walked over to Tavaiya. There had been no doubt in the bards mind that the rogue would do as most her scouts were, and instead choose to be away from all that magic. Tavaiya had been so unsettled by events at Redcliffe, Leliana was honestly counting on her aversion to witnessing the closing of the breach to have her out on patrol. “Take the far side, you've less issue with trees and trails than some of my scouts not so used to the Fereldan wilds.”

 

“As you say.” Tavaiya responded, a bit distant but it was to be expected. Tam, honestly, may not survive.

 

Leliana could feel sympathy. Either events today would mean the game changed yet again and she and Vivienne were the strongest contenders for the Jackal's loyalty, or she would need to teach her to stand by the herald if things did not work. So she dropped her head into a slight nod. “Don't hold back. Either we'll celebrate or mourn but neither position would I like uninvited guests.”

 

Maybe it was a rogue thing, because though Tavaiya grimaced she did not argue. Rogues were practical for all that others belittled them or made them out to be no more then their skills. And Leliana would like to issue anyone a challenge to find an alienage raised elf who didn't exude practically like they drew breath.

 

“Do you have a secondary kit? It is a lot of ground to cover.”

 

“Go get your things for a long night. You don't seem like you would be celebrating anyways.”

 

Tavaiaya spread her hands. “For?”

 

“The breach being closed.” Leliana drawled, but she knew. Understood. After all she walked in shadows and kept her hood close as her secrets.

 

“I'll get another bag. And a better cloak.” Because Tavaiya also knew she needed to be far further from the events so her senses didn't betray her. Just having all the mages around had made her feel a combination of sluggish and irritated as too many new sensations and types she had yet to become used to were inundating her. Eventually they would fall into background noise but in the present time they were distractions.

 

And Tavaiya didn't dare be around when enough magic to close the breach happened. She moved as fast as she dared away from everything. As it was, by the time she'd reached her patrolling location, she felt as if she'd been drinking several times as much earlier. Her head was a little fuzzy, her responses slower.

 

“Didn't think it could get me drunken..” She mumbled but then focused, far more than usually was needed, on setting up the traps. Most of which were harmless but would do slight damage. She had to pause a few times to breathe. The pressure to her senses was harsh. Her eyes blurred and itched, her fingers were clumsy and leaden.

 

And then that eerie green that had overlaid the sky this entire time exploded and the sound of drums stole her breath as her chest _burned_. The right side, thankfully not her heart, felt like it was being scalded in acid but it also felt _right_ and Tavaiya found herself hunched over whimpering.

 

At some point, she blacked out.

()()()()()()

 

When Tavaiya came to, the green hue to the sky was gone. Breathing in she felt dazed, almost as if every cell had been electrified and was now somehow _more._ The backlash from closing the breach perhaps? It didn't matter. Still feeling drunken and at the same time far more sensitive, she began to make her way back. Just grateful she hadn't gone face first into one of her own traps.

()()()()()()()

 

Clearly Tavaiya had been out too long. There was utter chaos and her senses were screaming at her. Vile. Wrong.

 

_A memory half gone in whispers of crouching for hours over a beam in a dark building, the clanking of armor and screaming sensations in her ears of red lyrium. She had to get back if only to warn them. Cullen would be crushed. What she had overheard..beside her another form, one that could read her thoughts and thankfully had swiftly learned not to voice them as it could give them away. Her only company for days now. She didn't drink much, ate little even though she could easily get scraps. Just enough to keep from having the sounds of her stomach give her away. Just enough water to keep going. Because there was no where to relieve herself and she couldn't even afford the luxury of sleep. A vial she kept on her, many rogues had but hated to use, that worked stronger than tea to make it where she didn't need sleep as much. Her limbs burned, wanted to stretch. But there were still too many..at least she wasn't bleeding anymore. She watched the Red Lyrium Templars. Saw them move. Learned how to strike them for when she had no choice but to venture forth._

 

Tavaiya gulped but ran forward, grabbing the arm of the first soldier she saw. “What's happened?!”

 

It was one of the ones she'd sparred with when Cassandra was away and he sighed. “An army..it's..we're evacuating the villagers to the chantry.”

 

Then he was off and Tavaiya stood there, stunned. She was too dazed, her senses were crying from over stimulation. And what was with that flashback? She was a rogue damnit, she would adapt.

 

First things..if there was an army. She fled to her room and loaded on her armor that had been made for her with alterations done after. Vial after vial was placed in, the three pouch belt, every weapon and knife she would need and wires. She shrugged on her pack that strapped on tightly across her waist as well as over her soulders and was always ready to go, packaged so if she was landing badly it would help cushion her fall. Inside were a few things but it was mostly a habit so she had a place to toss things if need be. Elan had once teased when she put on her 'battle gear' as a rogue it made her look more like a roughshod adventurer.

 

Looks didn't matter when you wanted to live. Tavaiya then was out as fast as she could, and heard screams from inside one of the buildings that was on fire. With her luck, Tam would get distracted saving everyone. She could at least help there without knowing what was going on. Hood on and pulling the cloth over her face after rubbing snow on it to help with the smoke inhalation Tavaiya rushed into the first building. There were so _many._ People collapsed behind carts, knocked unconscious or just holding still terrified. She pulled and prodded, half dragged a few until they started moving. There were many who were past the point of helping and she did not spare a moment to mourn. That would have to be later.

 

It was freezing but Tavaiya was moving so constantly in and out of the fire areas she felt more like she was roasting alive. The pressure on her senses was a constant and she could admit that the last thing she wished to do was go to the front lines. To see what it was that was skinning her alive and plucking her tendons one by one. That had chased away any pleasure from the immense power turned to pain from overload that had closed the breach and the acid on her chest when it snapped shut. Her bones were being hollowed out..

 

A roar came and Tavaiya looked up. That was what she was feeling over all the red lyrium. A dragon.

 

She staggered, felt her footing almost collapse before she damned the consequences and took one of her suppressant potions undiluted. It was enough her thoughts were working again even if she felt not only muffled but a suddenly aching sense of loss. A void she had not realized was filled until then.

 

Later.

 

If she wanted to not confront that..back into the buildings she went.

()()()()()()()()

 

Eventually there was nothing left to be done but go to the Chantry. She knew she could flee but Tavaiya needed to check on the others. At least to know. It was odd but she was so tired, and so cut off from her other sense it felt wrong now. As it never had before.

 

“Tavaiya!” And Cassandra's arms were around her tight. “Blessed Andraste..We did not..you were not sighted in the..you are all right!”

 

“I'm fine Cass. I was setting traps, apparently in the wrong location..I've been trying to help gather people and get them free.” She looked up at Cassandra's worried gaze. “Everyone else?”

 

“Accounted for..”

 

“Secrets!” Varric was there and Tavaiya breathed in relief. “You were the only one we thought gone.”

 

Relief settled into her bones and she managed a wan smile, before hearing Cullen's words. She saw something in the expression on Tam's face. Oh no. Not again. She couldn't lose him again. The boy she was starting to see as family, who had such potential. Half to the most beautiful music she'd ever heard.

 

“There's a chance to buy time, an escape route.” He said as he walked over and the adorable and awkward boy once more was the leader. Resignation in his eyes. “I can't ask..but I need a few of you with me..just until they get to the tree line.”

 

“What's the plan?” Tavaiya asked as she stepped forward and lamented that she needed to suppress her senses so far she couldn't feel his humming against her heart.

 

Tam smiled, a broken but determined thing. “Bury Haven under an avalanche.”

 

There was muttering but to his credit Iron Bull was the first to volunteer. Cassandra. “You cannot expect me to not be there.” Tavaiya said and she meant it.

 

“Okay. The rest of you, help them evacuate.”

 

“I think we could be of far more use holding the crazy back.” Varric tried to argue but Tam shook his head. “They'll need you. There may even be wild animals or pockets of trouble..please.” _Don't let this be in vain._

 

“You find a way to come back, you understand Inky?” Sera insisted. “You can't just up and go without comin back.”

 

“If there's a way, Sera..I believe our Herald can find it.” Dorian spoke softly.

 

“Okay. If you need anything, get it. We're going.” Tam said with a deep breath before going to ask Blackwall if they could trade injury and poultice kits for potions no doubt.

 

“Tavaiya.” it came from behind her and she hadn't sensed him because she couldn't. She turned anyways and felt his eyes over her, the way her own shifted over Solas's frame. “You are hurt.”

 

“They will need your healing..save your energy, Solas.” She spoke softly but his fingers curled around her elbow and led her off slightly, letting them speak without being surrounded.

 

“It is in the end, my mana is it not?...let me.” His eyes were conflicted. “I assumed you would not wish them to see..” her react. Which currently so suppressed as she was she could not. Nor could she tell him that. The thoughtfulness though made her smile.

 

“Expecting me to be ashamed?”

 

He looked to the side. “Perhaps.” _yes._

 

“Hm, because you are older, or because most of what they say is unflattering?”

 

“In part.”

 

“You're being evasive.”

 

“Says the one who chose certain dreams and not others. If you recall?” Solas asked but there was a faint strain to his smile still.

 

“A little.” She was honest and then his fingers were sliding over her injuries and she did not suppress the sigh. Perhaps she could not feel his magic the same but she was entirely aware of his actual scent, the easing of pain from his magic as soft and certain as his words and realized she didn't need his magic to react. It was just _him_. For just a moment she let her mind imagine this was more a farewell instead of a quick patching up and then..well she was a rogue. Every moment could be her last and she had come to terms with it a long time ago.

 

“Solas..” And she breathed it out with the softest of moans, her arm coming up to wrap around his neck, hand splayed over the back of his head. Gently she rested their foreheads together, hearing his startled intake of breath as their eyes locked. Eyes moved briefly to her lips but Tavaiya did not intend something so trite. Instead half remembered words in his voice came floating across her mind and she found them oddly fitting. _I would have liked more than one evening._

 

“I would have liked more time together.” She whispered it gently and then was pulling away. Perhaps it was best that she couldn't sense his magic reaching after her in a sudden agonized grasping. Solas had no idea why it seemed she was already gone, lost to him, but it was bitter to feel as if there was nothing he could do. She'd once more, left before he could respond. It felt like part of him went with her and he had no explanation why.

 

“Ready?” Tam asked as she moved over to his side. The Dalish looked over and saw Solas with the most peculiar expression on his face before the older mage, his hahren nodded to Tam, then was whirling to go chase after the villagers who may need him. The mages who were so drained as to be near useless unable to do much.

 

Cassandra at his side as she had been in some fashion since waking up with the mark on his hand. The Iron Bull who was already proving to have been a wise choice. No real mercenary would continue to do this, to this extreme. No, there was a good person under all that muscle and Tam just nodded.

 

“Let's go.”

()()()()()()()()()()

 

“I can't believe you dragged me down a hole.” Tavaiya was groaning. She'd been like his shadow, the sheer immense power of Corypheus and his dragon having burned away the suppressant long before she would have liked. Tavaiya had been on the side of the flames with him and Tam had been relieved she had immediately gone into full stealth. He didn't know it was because she was so overwhelmed in her other sense she could literally not do _anything_ for a while. It had bought them time as he was talking, she had been looking around. She found the mine shaft and stood by it, ready to signal to him. Ironically she hadn't needed to, a flying herald shoving them both in with her barely thinking through the pain and the snapping sounds of wood and crack that she felt along her side to drag them back a ways before the pile of snow poured in.

 

“Ye...yeah..” Tam weakly agreed. His shoulder was dislocated, covered in bruises and scratches. Tavaiya assuredly had a broken rib or three and in the process had hurt her ankle. They didn't have the time to see how badly just set his shoulder. Luckily she'd had her pack on and so the first thing she did was shove a lyrium potion and a mostly gone healing one at Tam. A weaker poultice and bandage for her ankle, nothing could be done about her ribs and taking anything to heal them before they knew if they would need an actual healer's work could do much more damage. Unfortunately Tavaiya never packed the stronger healing items, most of what she had were rogues tricks but they'd manage. They didn't have a choice.

 

“Cold..” Tam whined, and then sighed. “Sorry I..”

 

“Pack should have something.” She said and stilled. She couldn't take it off, not without hurting her ribs so Tam muttered and apology and dug inside it. Mostly it was wire, rope, but there was a thin waterproof oil skin and a dingy cloak -to help hide- in there that Tavaiya nodded to Tam. “Put them on.”

 

“What about..”

 

“I'm not the idiot wearing robes because the Vint thinks they would match my eyes.” Besides she didn't want to risk having fabric around her neck that was loose like that when moving just to breathe more than short little inhales was bringing tears to her eyes. The worst of her injuries though had to be that to her senses. The breach, the templars, and the dragon and corypheus? Coupled with backlash from overdoing her suppressant potion? Tavaiya _hurt_ and likely would for a long time. It didn't help that cold aggravated old injuries and she had many.

 

“We need to move..” Tam said, the little survival knowledge he had coming out.

 

“Yes.” She agreed and because they could, the two held hands. There was no warmth in it, not through gloves and the chill but the pressure was a comfort. “..you stared down a dragon”

 

“I thought I was going to die.”

 

“In the end we're all dead, Tam.” Tavaiya said and then winced. Talking hurt. Breathing hurt. Moving was really painful but holding still was death. At least from sparring with her Tam's capabilities were vastly over just a regular mage and the were managing to make decent time. Finding out the anchor was still there, and could be used to open and shut mini rifts to suck up the enemies?

 

“At least if I have to have this thing..it's useful.” He groaned. “But you know I was hoping..it'd close, go away, and I'd go back.”

 

“To the Dalish?”

 

“Yes. To being the First, someday the keeper. I'd encourage being more friendly with the outsiders but..part of me? I like that we may..”

 

“You'll always be Tam, my Lethallan.”

 

“Lethallin.”

 

“I thought..”

 

“I'm so telling Solas this conversation if we make it alive..” Tam grinned at her, shivering violently despite the oil cloak over the thin cloak in the tunnels it was _cold._ All rotting wood, frozen stone, icicles and snow packs.

 

“Lethallan is for a girl.” He finally explained later.

 

“Oh.” Tavaiya pulled the wet cloth back over her face, it was cold but the shock of it was helping her stay awake when she just really wanted to sleep. “Sorry. You do wear a skirt though.”

 

“Look...” And there was an opening. A vast endless stretch of white stretched before them. Gulping, Tam squeezed her hand again before pointing. “That way?”

 

“I'm here.” She agreed, promised and squeezed back. “Shred the thin cloak..grab my knife at the side. We need to wrap our feet better..and those boots back..”

  
“I'll get them. You..just sit.” Tam shuddered from the cold but handed over the dingy cloak and smiled. “You're better with a knife. Boots..okay..” As Tam went to find the boots, Tavaiya made rough strips to wrap around their feet and a few extras for their face. They'd need it to breathe in that cold. It wouldn't smell very nice, it was dingy for hiding for a reason, but it would work.

 

Tam didn't say a word as he wrapped and then donned boots, kneeling with a wince to help her do the same so she wouldn't aggravate her ribs further. The few skirmishes they hadn't managed to end with just a rift had seriously worsened things. That done he stood, held out his hand for her to take.

 

Sides pressing close to counter the powerful wind against their slim frames they started off.

 

Neither could have said how long they stumbled in the cold. Swiftly they learned to grab and steady the other because if one fell, they both would and getting back up was harder. They could not speak, lips burned from the cold and eyes dried out, crystals on their lashes. Tam was grateful Tavaiya had insisted they wrap their feet back in the tunnels, and they'd stolen the boots as foul and ill fitting as they were, stuffing the useless thin cloak in it once cut into pieces from what remained after they'd wrapped their feet and just keeping the oil skin out. In an attempt to break the worst of the wind it was wrapped around them, mostly around Tam as his side bore the worst of the blizzard.

 

Each step was hard, tugging back on the other as they couldn't be in sync. Jarring. It sent Tavaiya's ribs and ankle to extreme pain and at least once she'd nearly had her arm wrenched free keeping Tam upright. That was when Tam had realized she was bleeding there. They hadn't noticed from the cold.

 

He likely was injured too and first adrenaline and then freezing was keeping them from being aware. The howl of the wolves in the distance was not terrifying but a relief from the pounding of blood in their ears.

 

Tavaiya had half retreated into her mind, just focusing on the next step. She was trying to recall how the feel of hoarfrost was, delicate and beautiful and yet lethal as one of her favorite blades. So cold it burned, but a burn more like fire than this painful proper snow and ice.

 

In the end she was the one who could not take one more step as her ankle gave out and Tam fell with her. Both just laying in the snow, miserable as darkness began to overtake them. But at least, not alone.

 

The last words Tam thought he heard..

 

“There! There they are!”

 

“Thank the Maker!”

 

“Run and alert that we need the healers ready!”

 

Huh. Chased off a dragon, fought off red templars, faced the creep who thought himself a god..buried an entire town under snow and then managed to hobble back?

 

Yeah. Tam was going to sleep now. He bloody well _earned_ it.

 


	18. Chapter 18

AN: I admit 'the Dawn will come' is beautiful as a song and really not religious when examined so it probably predates the chantry. But _Tavaiya_. Nuff said?

()()()()()()()()()()

 

Cassandra had not left the shelter where Tavaiya and Tam lay unconscious. That they had been found alive was nothing short of a miracle, indeed no matter what Tam argued it seemed he was truly blessed by Andraste and the Maker. But it was Tavaiya whose wrist she held in her hands, her good one. Feeling the rogue's pulse beneath her ungloved hand. Tam had been injured, battered, exhausted. Magic though tended to make mages far heartier when it came to the elements and recovering. Magical healing when utilized on a mage almost always had greater results so the Herald was now just sleeping a well deserved rest, but whole once more.

 

The same couldn't be said for Tavaiya. After one of the mages had started cursing up a storm Cassandra had just gone and grabbed Solas, pulling him in. She trusted in his capabilities and the tension between the two had been evident a long time. Cassandra had no words to explain her disappointment when learning nothing had occurred between the two that night back in Val Royeaux. With the looks they'd been sending right out of one of her favorite dog eared novels she'd been certain they'd at least have ended up kissing. But because of that, Cassandra's faith that Solas would be a better choice to have heal her than some panicking mage who wasn't entirely drained of mana had meant the apostate was allowed in where he may not have otherwise.

 

“Her body is rejecting magic..” He'd sounded upset and then a half emptied vial that shimmered oddly had caught his eye among the small pile of them from her clothing. “...another of her mixtures I suspect. What it's purpose would be..” Solas had sounded entirely disgusted and Cassandra's jaw had dropped. A concoction to block magic? Could it be possible?

 

“Say nothing of it Seeker..” Solas had cautioned even as he set about checking her over manually, the previous healers at least having gotten her out of her armor. “It could be anything and likely not having the effect it should. I've examined a few of her other concoctions and they all depend on circumstances.”

 

Cassandra had nodded, remembering the Dreamer's Kiss and a few others Tavaiya had explained to her. Yes, conditions featured heavily into them. She put it out of her mind then. “How bad is it?”

 

“Fractured ribs, her arm is broken, her ankle is sprained..numerous bruises and..” He trailed off. “She will live, but be in a good deal of pain I don't doubt. I do believe she'll have to make do with poultices for a while.”

 

“Nothing permanently damaging?”

 

“Very luckily for her, no.” But Solas sounded frustrated and Cassandra had to bite back a smile. He sounded quite upset, with Cassandra's remaining that was.

 

“I will wait for her to awaken.” Cassandra's voice suggested and Solas turned his steel gaze upon her.

 

“Whom then shall help Culen plot the location we go to next? Do the troops not respond as much to you?”

 

Clever elf.

 

“I suppose you would stay then in my place?” She tried to sound bored, but Cassandra's excitement to potentially push this along was getting the best of her. She blamed those strange dreams that always slipped away, but the fondness for whomever it was in them had remained. A softness that made her wish to see that happiness for others.

 

And Cassandra _knew_ Tavaiya. Perhaps better than anyone else alive. Tavaiya had become her best friend, the one she whispered and giggled with and didn't think any different of her that Cassandra fought better than any others and when feeling on duty was strict and honor bound. That otherwise they were just two women dealing with life and sharing gossip because the silliest things amused them.

 

So Cassandra was the only one who had spent time knowing that Tavaiya was not blind to her own interest in the apostate.

 

“ _He calls to me.” She'd spoken the first morning after the Hinterlands when they trained, alone, early before the others would be up. Gearing up for a spar in Haven's training grounds. “A smirk and my heart skips, he laughs and I swear Cassandra it's like I'd follow him for that sound alone. This is new. It scares me.”_

 

_So Cassandra had told her of her own first love. That he'd been a mage, how her heart had fluttered and her hands shook. How even after they parted that same sensation happened, how guilty she felt though that it wasn't enough because as handsome and kind as he had been, he wasn't intelligent and she'd wanted more. It had ripped Cassandra's world apart to know he had perished at the conclave. The What if's. “Do not hesitate, if you do you may never get another chance.”_

 

_Tavaiya had paused, looked over but she nodded. “Will you take your own advice?”_

 

“ _...I am...not entirely against it.”_

 

Cassandra stood and nodded to Solas. “Let us know if she wakes. Either of them.”

()()()()()()()

 

It was astounding really how easily people were redirected. They wanted to not look at things that challenged and altered..and so Solas found convincing the Seeker nothing was amiss and to leave him to observe the two slumbering survivors a simple matter.

 

Taking up the place the Seeker had been sitting he took Tavaiya's hand in his own and examined her fingers. She was not so much rejecting magic as it was like she was over full of the wrong sort. He had not seen such a thing in many years, but that she'd been in close contact with Corypheus..indeed there was no telling what she'd had inflicted upon her once she'd left that Chantry.

 

He felt his heart clench in the memory. Watching her walk away, words and actions bereft. She'd been the one to pull him near, just to rest their foreheads together, somehow so much more intimate than a kiss would have been. It had felt as if she was already lost to him and it was not the soft bittersweet experience he had enjoyed many times over the centuries, to love and lose in an artful manner that had been not so unlike the courtly love the humans of Orlais were so adoring over.

 

Yet here she was again, amazingly alive.

 

“Wake soon.” He murmured for Solas did not trust himself to walk the Fade while he was still sorting out his thoughts.

 

Tam woke first.

()()()()()()

Once the two were both awake and out of the tent to wander around, at some point the rogue sought him out to thank Solas for the healing.

 

She wasn't even partly through when Mother Giselle started singing, a song soon picked up by the entire camp much to Solas's bafflement. They were serenading Tam. Turning him into a figurehead. Solas felt himself recoil because such things never turned out well for the figure elevated so, even as his mind began to see where this could be useful.

 

Tavaiya was still standing near Solas, humming along to the tune. Everyone who had ever been pulled into a chantry knew this song. It was one of the few that was not actually strictly religious. However, like so many things..it had other versions. It was one of those she was now singing exceptionally softly to make up for how off key she was.

 

'...Look at tavern's thars...the shemlen's drunk..the fools will come. Bare your skin, and they'll pay you high...'

 

“that's awful.” Solas whispered to her.

 

“What do you expect of alienage brats? Proper poetry? We didn’t ever even worry if it matched the tune! It gets pretty funny though..about picking pockets and spending on silly things.” She looked up, still whispering. Her eyes bright red still from crying and damage from the wind, broken arm tightly bound to her torso for support until there was the magic to spare without it being rejected. She had to lean most of her weight on her left side still and despite the injury pack smothering much of her skin it would only do so much good. Others had needed it more. Yet she was smiling, the fierce joy of surviving unbelievable odds giving her the largest adrenaline rush.

 

“Your pupils don't match..” He sighed then, listening to the song fade. He needed to approach the herald now. Everything that had happened to Tam, the realization on his face when he saw that no, he couldn't just slip away back into his life after the breach. He still had the mark. Corypheus would return for him and it was Solas's best chance to reclaim his orb. He had to warn Tam that the orb was of Elvhen origins..

 

“Mm. Guess I shouldn't drink tonight then.” Tavaiya agreed and with her good hand barely brushed his own. The side of her hand, just resting against his. He could pull away at any moment. As he could have in the chantry. “Poor Tam.” her voice was soft and her eyes may have been dazed but she saw more clearly Solas thought, than many others there. “He's never going to escape now.”

 

“Will you stand beside him?”

 

“I'm one who dances in the shadows, Solas. I'll help him..but I don't stand beside someone.”

 

The teasing comment was out before he thought to say otherwise, still almost boneless with relief that she had survived when he had been certain that those few memories she had shared in dreams would be all he had to look on as what could have been. “You're beside _me._ ”

 

“Different.”

 

“How so?”

  
“I don't fantasize about pushing Tam into the nearest tree and having the same returned to me. Or I suppose that's a memory that never happened.. Have to fix that sometime. And I do not imagine the taste of his skin against my lips.” She said calmly, and then moved to go talk to Tam. Or at least she'd planned to but the sudden blizzard of Solas' power seemed to snap her in place as surely as the turning of his hand to hold onto hers. Oh. She _was_ more sensitive after the whole..Undead Magister and Dragon with Templars of Red Lyrium bit. That made sense.

 

“Do you not?” Solas finally replied, carefully neutral. No one was certain that Tam and Tavaiya were not in a relationship of sorts with how close they were. Solas had wondered himself if he was the only direction the rogue had been showing interest.

 

“Would you prefer the words now or later Solas?”

 

“The words?” And he sounded so baffled that Tavaiya looked up at him and smirked. She didn't care that she was covered in bandages and bruises and probably more snarls in her hair than anything. She was alive and it was glorious.

 

“That there's only one I see in such a fashion. The only one whose company I am so enchanted by, is your own.”

 

Fingers slid from her hand, slowly up her arm and shoulder. They ghosted along her temple and he sighed, softly. Suddenly both glad they were off to the side while everyone else was celebrating Tam.

 

“You deserve better..”

 

“Mm Rogue here. I don't care about what I deserve, just what I _want_.”

 

“Were I to rebuff you?”

 

“Ah is _that_ what you are doing right now?” Because Tavaiya sensed his magic shifting as if looking for any reason to bolt away or cover her entirely, even as he had been moving closer. Mimicking her motion before chasing after Tam to go to the front, Solas had leaned down to press their foreheads together. His eyes never leaving hers save for the rare blink.

 

“...no.” He admitted and something shifted then behind his eyes as he allowed himself to accept it for now. Sighing, Solas closed his eyes, fingers moving from her temple to throat to rest along her pulse. Reassuring himself she was alive. Tavaiya let her own eyes fall shut and just enjoyed the moment. After all the pain her senses had taken, it was reassuring to feel surrounded by hoarfrost, to taste the honeywine. Even the subdued sound of distant drums and crackling energy to Solas's power had helped to make her hearing feel less sensitive. Corypheus's magic had been the final straw and overwhelmed her to the point she was dealing with backlash from that and all her suppressant potions. Considering all the craziness that had occurred she was lucky to still be breathing. So yes, she savored sensing Solas and being close to him.

 

Tavaiya swallowed though because it had been a very long day... “Solas, don't let me dream tonight.”

She felt him hum in agreement, the slightest tightening of his hand against her neck as he then slid it to the base of her skull, tangling in the curls. They just stood there like that. Tucked into the shadows in an embrace that was just shy of being closer. Still slightly apart, new and softly exploring where their boundaries were without pressing the other further. For all that Tavaiya wanted to rush it she sensed it was far more important than she knew to make Solas initiate things. That odd little instinct as if she knew him so well from a time she'd never remember properly.

 

“I could promise to show you part of the Fade..?” It was an offer he felt so hesitant over if the slight shift in the sound of his magic was any indication. As if it meant something more than just to show where he loved to be. Perhaps it was where, or something she simply didn't understand not being a mage. Or maybe she was reading far too much into this and he just didn't want to be rejected.

 

“Please.”

 

He pulled back then and looked her over, before sighing. “I need to speak with Tam..”

 

Tavaiya's grin resurfaced. “Like you don't know how to find me in the realm of dreams?”

 

“Realm of dreams.” He dead panned but there was the tiniest hint of a smile to him.

 

“I blame the herbs finally getting in to the bloodstream judging from the lack of pain I am starting to feel. Now shoo. Before you distract me and I do something incredibly foolish.”

 

“...Once more you tempt me, but I shall prevail. This time.” He teased and turned to walk over to Tam. Tavaiya felt no shame in watching Solas's particular gait as he moved.

 

“You're staring at his backside.” Cassandra's drawl from her shoulder did not startle her so much as amuse her.

 

“You blame me?”

 

“...I suppose it's..”

 

“C'mon.”

 

“He does have impressive thighs.” Cassandra relented and Tavaiya chortled. Clearly it had been too long since they last indulged in girl talk.

 

“Hm. His thighs, Varric's chest hair..”

 

“Are we creating a perfect specimen?” Cassandra teased but she wasn't arguing the process.

 

“I notice you did not disagree about Varric's chest hair. And um..why not? Who for the hair?”

 

“You are definitely on too many herbs.”

 

“It's just elf root. I think.”

 

“And?”

 

“I dunno they poured stuff..oh. They mized. Mixed. Yeah I'm starting to feel it now..”

 

“Feel what?”

 

“Uh. I shouldn't sleep just yet but someone gave me ...the spindley. Yep. Not good with injury kit. Or potions in snow. What idiot treated me when Solas left? I'm about to be loony.” Or at least that's what she tried to say. No telling what Cassandra really heard.

 

Tavaiya didn't remember much else except Cassandra's laughter even as she felt her arms go around her form, and someone else remarking 'whoa that looks like good stuff! Krem get me some of that!' Because at that point her eyes were seeing things that were not there and she was fairly certain she wasn't _really_ hearing birds singing cheerfully by a babbling brook in the middle of these cold mountains. But it was nice. Comforting. Made the dull ache of her abilities relax even more than being around Solas as if they were finally being allowed to rest. It felt wonderful.

 

“Thank you! I'm Cole.”

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

AN: This chapter had a mind of it's own.

()()()()()()()

 

_The cold was biting at her skin, Tavaiya felt the pain in her bones, her breath fogging. She had to keep going if only for Tam. He wouldn't leave her behind. Which was a pity even as it warmed her heart because Tavaiya was certain he was not injured as badly. He would be able to make it farther. Pain though, she could focus beyond that. What was pain but another sensation to one who experienced so many? She felt the pressure of her hurt ribs flaring into agony as she took another breath. They just had to take another step.._

 

“I apologize.” And the memory dispersed, leaving Tavaiya dazed, shivering violently as if she could still feel the biting cold. Out of nowhere a cloak formed, thick and furred, being placed around her shoulders even as hands steadied it on her. The chill of the snow and ice in her memory being gentled into the hoarfrost sensation she was becoming familiar with.

 

“Focus on the now, Tavaiya. Your memory is just that. It is over.” Solas spoke softly, regret coating his words and she looked up, before sighing out in relief.

 

“That was unpleasant.” She'd been revisiting all of it for a time now and yet the way Solas's magic shifted around her was broadcasting his distress. It was entirely distracting, but welcome. After all it wasn't like the mage wore most his feelings in his expressions.

 

“I was unaware you had fallen back asleep so soon. It is my fault, forgetting you are vastly more injured.”

 

“You are here now.” She said and forgave him easily.

 

“So I am.”

()()()()()()()()()

 

Solas watched as Tavaiya was visibly calming by the moment. Her fingers still digging deeply into the fur cloak he'd created in the Fade to wrap around her. It had been bad enough knowing she and Tam had gone through that blizzard injured. To have seen it? If not for the way she had confided in experiencing the memories again first hand Solas would not have interrupted; wishing instead to force himself to witness their ordeal simply because of the secrets he had kept pushing the two elves into such a position.

 

Yet, knowing that she was acutely sensing the pain which had twisted her features, how violently she trembled in the cold and the weary way she was both holding her ribs with her good arm, the broken one clutched in Tam's hold?

 

He had chased the memory away aware of what he had seen.

 

“I promised to show you the Fade.” Solas started, wondering if she would still have any interest. Certainly, he had intended to begin instructing Tam on it's workings, the boy showed much promise and it would be easier to help guide him where Solas felt more like his old self. Tavaiya was no mage though, and so partly he expected her to refuse.

 

“How does it work? Do we walk? The location just change?”

 

Smiling easily Solas offered his arm. “Either and both. It is a place of imagination and will shaping reality for all mages. For those of us who specialize in walking the Fade however it comes as simply as breathing, as natural as being awake.”

 

There was no hesitating as the rogue slipped her arm through his. Whole here, her injuries not present and realization struck her as she blinked where their arms connected. Her right arm, the broken one. Solas felt pleasure at her startled expression, the open wonder before she glanced back where her other hand was still clutching the fur. When next her gaze met his, it was with a smile he imagined she wore often as a child. Before the events of her life had made her more somber.

 

An eager cub besides an old wolf.

 

No, the idea was stricken from his thoughts right away as then she was looking around and he could feel the gossamer threads of her tugging and prying at the Fade just by thinking. She was unable to alter anything as he was, but the strength she carried within was evidenced by the mere fact Tavaiya was managing to influence the fade at all as she did so . Many elves these days would not have. A young jackal then, but still grown.

 

“Show me?”

 

“Ah, yes. You'll have to forgive me it is refreshing to see such interest in the Fade...”

 

“When told I'm essentially standing in one immense history book that can also reshape itself according to imagination why would I not be interested?”

 

He felt his laughter spill forth, almost surprising him in it's ease. “A question I have _often_ asked.”

 

Solas took her to distant forests, showed her the paths he had once walked that bypassed crumbled ruins. Eagerly she moved beside him, looking as if she desired nothing more than to physically rush over and start to poke around. Yet, Solas noticed, she would if anything only tighten her hold on his arm.

 

“I'm not going anywhere.” He finally teased her, trying to give her permission to indulge. Indeed, he liked the idea of watching her explore her curiosity. Instead Tavaiya looked up and rolled her eyes.

 

“For now. Solas you could be a rogue with how you like slipping away when no one is looking!”

 

“When have I done that?” but it was entertaining because yes, yes he did indeed though not often around her.

 

Tavaiya laughed then. “When we..” And she paused, furrowed her brows. “Oh. I don't think that happened this time around..”

 

“You are aware of those memories from the alternate future then?”

 

“Here.” She agreed.

 

“Fascinating..”

 

“Is that your favorite word?”

 

“Hardly.” He dismissed it with a playful tone. “Though I have the strangest sensation yours would be uncouth or a swear.”

 

A frown, her lips pursed as she tilted her head in thought. “Resonance.”

 

“Oh?” Solas had not meant it seriously but it made his thoughts tumble about. “For the sound or the meaning?”

 

“Cannot it be both?”

 

“Hm...” Still it was yet another piece of her puzzle, and Solas was beginning to realize what he thought was the work of an afternoon when all the fragments were gathered, was looking instead to be something far more complicated. “There are many I am fond of, though, all are in ancient Elvhen..”

 

“Well considering what you do with your voice when you speak it I think I'd like anything you said.”

 

“My..voice..?” Curious as he'd heard the words of his language repeated many times since wakening, especially with Tam so eager to learn. Yet that is all they were, badly accented words. Once more the clever rogue was showing she not only listened and interacted with him as few others were want to do, but the things she noticed were astounding. That she noticed about him. It was refreshing where so many dismissed him or considered him just another mage.

 

“I'm not sure how to explain it. But it's like..” He saw her do that strange blanking of her features as when she was picturing how much information to divulge and Solas was highly regretting he did not have a spell that would have allowed a glimpse inside her thoughts. “You treat the entire language almost as if it is a spell.”

 

Shock poured over him and Solas ceased walking. Without being fully aware he had turned to face her, fingers tracing her temple and down to her jaw. “Indeed, considering that magic was as natural to the Elvhen in that time, a trickle of magic is required to speak it completely.” But she should not have known, could not. Yet there was no surprise in her blue gaze as she leaned into his touch. When hands came to tug his face nearer to hers, he yielded.

 

Foreheads together as if they were able to pass thoughts between and all the easier to look at the other's features, Solas felt his shoulder's soften. Here, in the Fade, the contact seemed all the more significant and he felt his lips curve into a smile. The next step she would have to initiate, he would wait. In this he was assured of his control. Ancient as he was, Solas would not permit himself to push the younger elf into anything she did not truly desire.

 

“I thought I was to show you the Fade?” He teased instead, expecting her to laugh and pull away. Her chuckling did reach his ears but then fingers moved over his skull and down to his chest slowly. Solas savored the contact, it had been ages since he'd felt a friendly touch so often.

 

“You promised to show me the wonders of it.” She agreed. “I'm just looking at one of them right now.”

 

Centuries upon centuries had passed where many had courted him, and he in turn to them. It had been a game. The intrigue of courts first of armies then of kings, finally as a god. Certainly he had heard far more lines than Tavaiya could ever dream of, but it still made him smile. None of that history seemed to matter right then. He was not Fen'Harel but Solas here and now.

 

“Flattery one of the weapons in your rogue arsenal?” He tried to calm the fluttering of his pulse, knowing she would feel it under her fingers.

 

“Why would I turn a weapon upon you?”

 

“I can think of a few reasons.” The truth was out before he meant it but all it did was draw out another laugh. _Rogues._

 

“I'm in your realm here, Fade Walker. If anyone is in danger it is me. But what sort of rogue would do anything but run towards that which is potentially going to be the most dangerous situation?” Tavaiya smirked then and lips brushed his jaw. “But by all means...show me more of the Fade.”

 

Pulling back was incredibly difficult and Solas saw the way she licked her lips, shivered a little. At least he was not the only one affected.

  
“Tavaiya, do take some care in tempting me in the Fade. There are dangers here.” He gently scolded her.

 

The wickedly feral smirk he gained for a response promised she would do exactly the opposite. Stubborn creature. Yet he felt his own smirk appear even as he reclaimed her arm to show her another location.

 

If she was this bold, mayhaps in time she'd be willing to meet one of his spirit friends.

()()()()()()()

 

The next morning showed a problem. Someone had found and wrangled some Bronto's, even by sheer luck that came with a giant floppy hat and no one seemed to remember for long, recovered the horses that no one had thought of when evacuating. There were far too many elderly and injured though and no carts. You could not put hurt people upon brontos and Tavaiya was most assuredly not capable of walking at that time. Not at any decent speed.

 

“You still can't heal her?” Cassandra asked frustrated and Solas frowned.

 

“No. Being exposed to too much magic can be detrimental, and according to the herald Corypheus was leaking it in great quantities; it is best for now if she heals naturally.” His gray eyes met Tavaiya's in apology but frankly the rogue knew it was a blessing. Because any more magic and her senses just may make her snap. Twitchy rogues, bad for everyone's health. Unfortunately that left her at an impasse.

 

“Not enough horses?” She asked and then was given an offer.

 

“There's a bull.” Krem, his name was, was grinning at her. “Boss said he was willing to carry you. You'll have to put up with his bad puns and innuendos though.”

 

Ignoring the faces everyone else made Tavaiya sighed. “At least he'll be entertaining. I've not many choices, thanks for letting me know.”

 

Once Krem left she gave the most pathetic puppy eyes to Cassandra, just to make her friend laugh. “This is going to be _so_ humiliating.”

 

“I will not let you live it down.” Cassandra promised with a wink.

 

“It is best you stay off your ankle.” Solas agreed before he frowned. “Still..we should wrap your ribs before then.”

 

“You just want to see what I wear under my tunic.” Tavaiya teased him, smirking then as she saw the droll expression. “Has it ever occurred to you, to just ask?”

 

“From all our interactions?” Solas replied, but was beginning to sort out the wrappings and poultice he would apply. “We can go back in the tent.”

 

“I'm hardly in any shape to be ravished so there isn't going to be that much of me exposed. May as well do it out here, be good for morale.”

 

“Tavaiya!” Cassandra's voice sounded scandalized.

 

“What?”

 

“That is hardly proper..” And yet as much as Solas was frowning his magic was fluctuating in humor.

 

“Just a body.”

 

“A very nice one, may I add.” Iron Bull said as he came up. “Want me to hold up a sheet or something to give some privacy?”

 

Tavaiya gestured with her good arm. “Whatever these two need to protect their delicate senses. Not like I haven't run after bandits stark naked..”

 

“I do remember that..” Cassandra mumbled.

 

Solas's hands stilled where he was about to help her remove the sling for her arm. “That was not just wine talking that night?”

 

“Solas, haven't you learned by now? I'm hardly just talk.”

()()()()()()()

 

In the end Cassandra bullied the males to hold up cloaks while she wrapped Tavaiya's ribs, insisting she had certainly enough experience with injuries, thank you. When everyone was prepared to set out Iron Bull lifted the rogue, careful of her hurt side and cradled her in one arm as they moved on. Surrounded by Bull's Chargers as she was Tavaiya was soon trading jokes and wise cracks, tales and giggling as much as she could without hurting her ribs. Krem was a treasure and Tavaiya kept wincing from trying to turn and talk to the man so often Bull finally had him come up and walk next to them.

 

At night he'd deposit her into Cassandra's arms with a laugh, one that turned into a nightly joke. “Here's your pet, Seeker!”

 

For nearly a week as they wandered the mountains this was the routine. Tavaiya was safe enough dozing in Bull's hold and so she didn't argue when Solas would hand her a potion with a clear frown fussing in his way. He knew she disliked her dreams at the moment and ensured her being entirely unconscious when the terrain would be so rough jostling -and hurting her- was unavoidable.

 

The rest of the time she spent all but enfolded into the Charger's little band. Indeed, Bull it seemed was now in on trying to recruit her.

 

“You're a sneaky one. But it's not your own secrets so much as you carrying them for others. That's unusual.” He'd said calmly and Tavaiya had hummed.

 

“For the most part I'm an open book.” She agreed. “No one expects that of a rogue.”

 

“No one.” Bull agreed and smirked. “So, baldy?”

 

“Working on it.”

 

“You flutter around each other a lot. I thought from all your talk you'd have dragged him off by now.”

 

Tavaiya smirked up at him. Doubtlessly as a spy, Bull already knew what she could say and this topic was far safer than her real secret. “No actual experience.”

 

“Want some?” A wiggling of that one brow and she grinned, shaking her head.

 

“No thanks, prefer knowing all the parts are going to fit right.”

 

“See that is the thing..if you know what you are doing..” And the chargers once more were treated to 'the talk' from Bull. Which involved a lot more discussions of straps, bonds, ties...and left Tavaiya asking questions about flexibility without any shame.

 

“Can we keep you?” Krem asked at the campfire once she'd been deposited again and though Krem meant it innocently teasing, there was an increase in sharp gazes.

 

“I think you've stolen enough of her time.” Tam pouted. “We never see her anymore!”

 

“Let me see your ankle.” Solas said and knelt, cutting off the argument before it could begin. Everyone else drifting away to get the food and leaving them as alone as they would get in a crowded camp. He hummed pleasantly then, tracing long fingers over the leather of her boot as healing magic examined it. “This I can finally do something about..”

 

“Oh good! I can't wait to walk on my own!”

 

“I cannot fix everything.” Solas scowled, incredibly frustrated at that. “It is uncanny how your body is reacting as if magic was poison..”

 

Tavaiya paled.

 

“...what did you do? I know you experiment far too often with your concoctions but this is reckless.” And Solas almost flinched at the accusation in his own tone, the anger. He did not apologize however for whatever occurred could have killed her if they were not such injuries. “If this had been to your spine..”

 

Tavaiya's eyes though gave nothing away as she met his gaze. The crackling along her senses helped her straighten and she may have drawn from the curls of hoarfrost over her skin as inspiration to reflect her dignity. “Not here, nor now.”

 

Solas's hands tightened on her calf before he nodded, all but growling as he spoke curtly, his forehead almost touching hers again. “Tonight?”

 

Tavaiya smirked at him for her answer. “Convince me.”

 

Healing magic exploded over her skin, sinking in deeply to her ankle and Tavaiya found herself gasping, clutching at Solas's shoulders as she let loose a soft low moan that was anything but decent. For just a moment it felt almost like teeth against the shell of her ear for all Solas didn't move, just observing her reactions with a slow smug smile blooming over his features.

 

“Convinced?” He purred at her and Tavaiya licked her lips. She tasted honeywine so thick upon her tongue it was sinful.

 

“No.” She knew better, really, as a rogue Tavaiya had a good instinct for very bad situations but she liked seeing Solas being pushed to his edge. Liked the flare to his eyes, the soft growl to his voice. The spike of his power that seemed to seep into her skin like melting snowflakes.

 

“Sweet temptation, wanting more and aching for it, never before like this..Patience running thing, so hungry and eager but fraying at control..”

 

Both stilled.

 

Finally Solas frowned. “Cole, your timing is not exactly..the best.”

 

“It helped.” Cole said simply. “Neither of you would want attention and you were going to get it.”

 

“Were we?” Tavaiya grinned at the boy cheekily. “You're the one who caught me the night Haven fell!”

 

“I am.” The hat bobbed and Cole's smile was like liquid sunshine, the magic pouring off him almost able to chase away the cool touch of Solas's so open and radiate was the man.

 

“I'm a spirit.” Cole said instead and Tavaiya blinked.

 

“You can read my thoughts?”

 

“That is what he was doing.” Solas said dryly before he smirked. “Temptation..was it?”

 

“Fraying at control?” She rebuffed and then traced a gloved hand over the back of Solas's neck. “I like the sound of that. But, I suppose Cole is right. Best not to draw attention.”

 

“There's no trees nearby.” Cole furrowed his brows confused. “Why are you both thinking of trees?”

 

Tavaiya laughed. “Just a fond memory.”

 

“Oh...” And the boy was gone but voices were calling them back for dinner, and Solas growled at her as Tavaiya stood with a simple remark over her shoulder.

 

“Not convinced.”

 

_Good evening, healer..._

 

Solas watched her leave with a smirk at her daring. For now, he needed to focus on guiding them all to Skyhold. But once there?..

 

He was ready for answers.

 

()()()()()()()()

 

Further encounters were pushed away as they crested over a ridge, Tam having once more the last week insisted she walk with him. At times she'd rush ahead, her arm healed from enough poultices now and though she still got twinges in her ribs it was bearable.

 

“You think we're close?” Tam asked, leaning on his staff. Tavaiya hummed as she followed, Solas beside them both. Carefully leading without being obvious about it. Tam wasn't giving it away, if Solas didn't wish to admit he'd found a place in the Fade, he would respect his hahren's wishes.

 

“I'm not the mage.” Tavaiya responded easily, comfortable. There was something about surviving a crazy undead magister and his pet dragon, then falling from a great height and limping through a blizzard that brought people together. Tam definitely saw Tavaiya as family now and was just relieved he no longer had to watch the Chargers practically kidnapping her.

 

Leliana had been the one to gently point out that they may wish to bring her into their fold and the thought of not having the elfin rogue there? It was simply not conceivable at this stage of things.

 

“Well I didn't have the fade dream..”

 

“We are not far.” Solas agreed.

 

“ _Antsy?_ ” Tam teased seeing Tavaiya shifting about as they walked. It reminded him back in the Hinterlands. Light sickness. She _had_ been injured a long time and couldn't just go off and do something else right now.

 

A heavy sigh was his answer and Tam smiled. “Why not go ahead? See how well you've healed up?”

 

Tavaiya gave him a warm smile and then nodded, before tearing off. Interestingly Solas startled, and reached out a hand as if to stop her.

 

“We're close then?” He asked innocently of his hahren and almost shivered at the scowl on Solas's face, for all he was facing forward.

 

“We are.”

 

Apparently Solas wanted to be there when she saw where they were going. Well, Tam could help out this once.

 

“Go on. You're clearly in far better shape than I am for all that sleeping you do, I'll catch up.”

 

“..Thank you, da'len..” As Solas fade stepped away Tam was left shaking his head.

 

At this rate, maybe he and Cassandra _would_ win the betting pool one when those two finally stopped dancing around each other.

 


	20. Chapter 20

AN: This one was a little harder. Solas is interesting I swear it seems in Game he refuses to let himself be happy, and I am writing much further ahead in the story at the same time. Nothing like needing to re read what I wrote to see if I said something yet. Short but wanted an update for you before Valentines.

()()()()()()()

 

The last sprint sent Tavaiya almost into a wall she didn't sense until it rippled against her skin. Like sun warmed velvet covering iron it made her tremble and stole her breath. Regal, ermine trim like a king's cloak from the old tales that she could almost touch under her fingers. Before her set into the mountain's embrace and bedecked in snowfall was an immense Fereldan style structure. The fortress kept some elegance, but mostly it was just solid, serviceable.

 

It was what she could have sworn she almost saw that made Tavaiya place a hand on a nearby rock to steady herself. Closing her eyes, letting her other senses -finally healed after these few weeks wandering towards a nebulous destination from her potion overdose- take control.

 

In her mind the picture was drawn, slowly, flickering in and out as sunlight did from the leaves of a tree, briefly allowing parts of this not there beautifully made stronghold to come into evidence. A branching tower there, what looked like floating gardens and domed glass tops to large parts of the structure. What she felt was, perhaps had been there once, was easily the size of the fortress thrice over. Deceptively intricate seeming, as if made of spun sugar and sheets of ice while seeming almost to hover over the ground instead of be rooted in it firmly.

 

Tavaiya had never imagined such a thing, not even in the tales of Arlathan or when Solas spoke of the crystal spires among trees.

 

“What do you think?” As if summoned by her thoughts, Solas was there by her side. Just an arms reach away.

 

Letting her eyes reopen Tavaiya couldn't have kept silent, not when this fortress radiated old and steady magic that seemed to be gently pushing away the remaining strain from Corypheus and his dragon. Healing in it's own way.

 

“...what is it's name?”

 

“Skyhold.”

 

She mouthed the words and then turned to look at Solas. His entire focus was on her, her reaction and there was something both inordinately pleased and troubled in his gaze. “Has it always been thus?”

 

“Oh?” Such a loaded sound he made it. Tavaiya though, had promised him answers. Perhaps she could start with this.

 

“It seems as if there was something else here once..something older. Grander.” She felt the hoarfrost curling around her but the velveteen comfort deep in the stones here kept it from feeling sharp. “I can almost picture it.”

 

“Tell me.” Solas moved behind her, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders and the tone of his voice strained, hopeful. Resigned. Complicated elf.

 

“Tonight. I'll show you.”

 

“In the Fade?” He asked with lips against the shell of her ear.

 

“If you'd like.”

 

“...I enjoy your company.”

 

“What's the true name, Solas?”

 

“Skyhold's? _Tarasyl'an Te'las.”_ And this time when he spoke she recognized the feel of the magic to be identical to the velvet and iron..perhaps even stronger than iron.

 

()()()()()()()

 

Her reaction was more than he'd expected. Solas had hoped for her to be surprised, pleased. Being a rogue perhaps Tavaiya would comment on the strategic placement. Delight at the sturdy structure there and how there was little to be done if one wished to invade save go in the front gate. He had not expected the sheer mesmerized expression. When she mentioned that she could picture something else perhaps, and promised to show him in the Fade- something that pleased him to no end as he felt most himself there- it startled him. Tavaiya did not _dream_ but perhaps her imagination and his many descriptions of Arlathan gave her some inkling of his former stronghold.

 

It was when he spoke Skyhold's true name however, that she shivered as if he had touched her again with healcraft and then leaned back into his frame. He could have stepped away, but she was furthering their game (he did not wish to think of it as anything more serious because surely it could not end well for either of them) and he instead wrapped his arms around her waist drawing her closer. They were almost of a height. It took very little effort to turn his face to brush against her ear.

 

“Tam will come shortly.” He warned her but the response was for her own hands to pin his in place. A declaration without words.

 

In content silence, enjoying the feel of once more being near where his magic was old and saturated the area to give comfort, even as it reminded Solas of how far he had fallen, they waited. For once, there were not plans or plots in Solas's mind.

()()()()()()()

 

Tam felt as if he should stay still and quiet. He'd walked up slowly, in case the two were in an embrace but he hadn't expected to see them being so..well. Chaste. It reminded him of the elder couples back among his Clan, seeing Tavaiya and Solas just standing there. But then his eyes moved to the fortress and he couldn't hide his gasp.

 

Oops.

 

“Skyhold.” Solas gave as an explanation and Tam moved forward in delight. It was perfect. Huge, oh sure it would need work. They all agreed on that as they wandered around the courtyard but it would keep them safe. Given long enough Cullen even agreed they could probably fight off armies from it! It was entertaining though, figuring out what to do and where. Where to put everyone but at first they were just in tents and makeshift shelters outside as they needed to ensure the various fireplaces were cleared enough to actually use and not suffocate. No one complained.

 

After a few days of work, and it seemed as many ravens flying out of Skyhold as possible..there just had to be some magic at work for Leliana's birds to know where she was at all times. Tam knew it. It also seemed like there were carts showing up only a day later with supplies and then the scouts started leaving. Tavaiya had vanished the second day and all he knew is that Leliana had smiled. “I needed to send her to handle some things in Fereldan.” And that was that. Everyone was choosing where they would room. Solas had a room, Tam knew, but where it was? If he even _used_ it was debatable. He chose to always be in the bottom rotunda where it was easy enough to meet with him. Dorian teased him but wouldn't say where his room was either. Vivienne went and chose a balcony view, A location was picked that looked like it had been meant as a sort of mess hall and extra barracks once but now was being turned into a tavern. It would in that sense still serve as a mess hall. There were so many rooms that made absolutely no sense at all, massive ones and then many small ones.

 

It was all bewildering to a Dalish who had lived most his life either in the free wilds or in a small aravel he shared with many others. Only the Keeper had one to themselves and that mostly because they were the ones who would heal and administer lessons.

 

Tam was not sure how to take the impromptu ceremony of becoming named Inquisitor but he saw the Morale skyrocket.

 

The inverse was happening with his Hahren though, and finally he plopped himself down at Solas's feet, looking back up at him.

 

“What bothers you, hahren?”

 

“It is nothing important, da'len.” He assured him. Tam didn't believe it for a moment, he had a far off expression.

 

“Something to do with a certain curly haired rogue?” He teased and Solas's wry smile sent his way was both frustrating and endearing.

 

“Perhaps. I had meant to show her something in the Fade when we found Skyhold but she fell far too deeply into slumber, and the next day she was gone with just a note saying she'd return later.”

 

Oh. She hadn't told him? What exactly had Leliana sent their Jackal off to do?

 

“Leliana said she sent her off to do something in Fereldan.” He offered instead because while he didn't agree with Solas on many things, as long as they went far enough back it was around or before the founding of the Dales and they agreed not to bring up the finer points of the Dalish, Tam was all too willing to learn about anything Solas wanted to teach him. Even if he was struggling immensely with the pronunciation to half the Elvhen words. It turned out there were multiple forms of it, High Elvhen being the one that the Evanarius and the most powerful would have used, Courtly, Noble, Regarded -which was something between all of the lot, the equivalent of common- Branded, and Low. So the way you said things, the body language, and apparently even minute traces of magic to use for emphasis that required a subtly Tam simply did not possess in his mage craft, it kept him busy.

 

“Hm. With the Nightingale that could be truly, anything.”

 

“Probably just passing messages.” He blinked then and grinned. “Though hopefully not like before at Vivienne's party.”

 

“Oh?” And Solas surely knew about that but Tam was tempted to smile at seeing him pretend otherwise. Really, no wonder Cassandra liked those silly books of hers. Ever since she'd made him read one when he complained of being bored Tam was becoming as fond of the romantic tales as she was. Even if he would have preferred more written with a male main character so he could relate. If Tam sometimes imagined himself and Dorian in some of the situations presented that was entirely his business.

 

“If I remember, she went off to a corner and kissed him and had bards making bad poems about it..I can ask Vivienne's recollection though. She does like to revisit such things as her parties.”

 

“That will not be necessary.” And it was a clipped and chilly tone.

 

“Solas?”

 

“Hm?”

 

He wanted to tease him. Wanted to pester the older elf about being in denial, or why haven't you just kissed already and win the betting pool for Cassandra and I? But in the end Tam gave in. “I think I found one of those sites with the ancient ruins on the last expedition..the one where we just went for a day and had to return? I'd like to go back. Will you come?”

 

The book was set on the desk and with a faint smile of approval Solas inclined his head.“Describe for me what you saw?”

()()()()()()

 

Vivienne's afternoons were usually spent picking on Dorian, and vice versa. They'd practice their spells with dramatic flair in the courtyard. Slowly but surely instructing the mages they had rescued, along with Fiona, in the various schools of magic that was known between them all.

 

A week later she went with Solas, Tam, and the Iron Bull to investigate rumors of trouble in the Fallowmires. She would not let them live down what happened to her boots in that place. Ever.

()()()()()()()

 

Leliana was starting to worry. Tam had just set out with his party and though she was checking every raven, not a single one had come from Tavaiya. Leliana had not dared send anyone else into Denerim. With her ties there to Alienage and King it should have gone swift. Rogues could ride fast and hard and journey swifter than most because they were not shy about the places they would find to stay and rest. Tavaiya was familiar with the land, the countryside. She should have been fine.

 

The raven that finally came did not make her feel any better. 'No contacting.' It was signed with a thumbprint, one that Leliana had studdied the whorls and eddies of out of a habit in case there was something of dire significance to send. She had a scroll always on her person with such prints from her top agents. It was a match to Tavaiya.

 

When the nightingale had an agent out who did not feel secure enough to use a bird or meet a messenger, something had been tampered with in the intel.

 


	21. Chapter 21

AN: Anora is someone I hate in game, I adore Shianni, had to let them out. Also impatient Solas who decided this chapter was going to go on forever.

()()()()()()()()

 

Boring. Exhausting. Exhilarating. This was the heart of being a rogue, the constant twists from one aspect of her existence into the next that kept Tavaiya from ever considering going away from her lifestyle. The job she had agreed to take for Leliana was not a tricky one. Not at all, just go to Denerim, check in with several of the Nightingale's existing agents without exposing them to each other. Look into a promising new contact, gather any information she herself needed with the expectation of sharing that to some degree with Leliana and then get back.

 

Nothing major. Nothing really complicated. An exercise more in trust and scraps of meat to lure the jackal to her side, ensnare her with enough of her own informants to showcase how useful teaming up with Leliana could be. It was the counter to the armor Vivienne had supplied her with in truth.

 

Only there was the tiny issues of two agents being rapidly decomposing corpses in their homes, others with their alias's, the whole mess of smuggling that was most assuredly _not_ the usual lyrium and crow messenger bird food supply. Or rather not just that if the false sides (because everyone checked the bottoms these days and the lids for compartments) with some very potent drugs was any indication. Not mild sell to the down trodden and nobles alike sort of recreational substances either. These were very much banned by virtue of agreement by all the major nations concoctions that Tavaiya had no desire to be even in the same _room_ with because it could do such damage. Ones she was now having to try and find a reliable bit of information on how to dispose of. Without anyone connecting it to someone relatd to the inquisition.

 

That was before she had the assassination attempt on King Alistair and his Queen Consort to contend with, or either of their lovers being the suspect all but guaranteed to be trying to blackmail the Queen. Really, Tavaiya thought the two were brilliant as joint rulers and for all she and Anora could not stand each other there was a mutual respect. Enough so that when it turned out Anora's latest fling was attempting to blackmail her -because it simply would not be Shianni and the tart that the courts had recently decided must be Alistair's lover didn't even like men- she didn't hesitate to ask Tavaiya for advice on if she should have him killed or otherwise handled.

 

“You're in town.” Had been the blonde beautiful queen's comment as she sipped her tea. Insult and pretty compliment all in one and Tavaiya knew to take it as the backhanded praise it was. There was a young child growing in her, Alistair's she knew as for all they didn't get along, the Antivan's open approach to methods other than intercourse for pleasure had been information well received by Anora as a way to side step without breaking marriage vows and casting doubt upon her future offspring by her husband. Without having to trust him to always be the one in her bed. Tavaiya adored Alistair but the man cared more for his other games than learning to please a wife he barely tolerated going to sleep with. Not when he had a red haired elven love who was siring his bastard and Anora was quite content to be kind to the 'other woman' since it meant Alistair's not batting an eye at her own paramours.

 

Really. They were all too complicated, nobles. Titles and wealth made everything complex.

 

“Thank you for tea. Still want him around?” Tavaiya had asked, lounging entirely unladylike in her leathers across an opulent fainting couch with her muddied boots dangling off the edge while drinking from the delicate cup. She wasn't about to give the servants more work but she had just slipped in the window after having word sent that 'the poodle wants you'. And may Shianni ever be blessed for getting _that_ the code name the guards and servants used for the Queen!

 

“Not particularly but ending his service may cause complications with his family.” And with that careful remark Tavaiya knew Anora had been with a foreigner somewhat related to nobility. Tricky.

 

“Any problems with his performance thus far?” Yes she was being cheeky in her words. So what.

 

Anora's lips twitched in an effort not to laugh, she hated giving Tavaiya that satisfaction but nodded. “He is a bit..of a wanderer. Never around when you expect.”

 

And the real issue was summed up. The Queen expected to be the only lover a male had, supposed having one king and then his half brother meant you expected devotion, only to loose it to an elf the first time your new husband met her? Yes. That had twisted Anora a little, but Tavaiya couldn't cast stones. Not anymore. Not when the memory of hoarfrost seemed permanently branded into her skin to the point she missed it even just after a few days of being away.

 

“I've a question...” Tavaiya used as her response, her brain working over how to handle the spurned lover without resorting to violence. It just _may_ work out with the problem she had inherited and would not risk getting back to the Inquisition and smirching their name. Not so soon after Haven.

 

“Ask.”

 

“Where from?”

 

“..Antiva.”

 

Tavaiya gave Anora an entirely deadpan look, desperate not to laugh. “Took my advice?”

 

“He fell short.” And here Anora could not repress her smile, eyes dancing as they both remembered the time Tavaiya had gotten into too much wine with Alistair and convinced Anora to join them, and Shianni, and Tavaiya explained how Antivan's _kissed_ and making it an entire experience on their own before she explained that since she really only knew from the crows she couldn't speak for the rest. Shianni had been the one to ask if Alistair had ever indulged in curiosity with Zevran and the ensuring blush and denial had almost been funnier when he realized all three of the women in the room were simply _leering_ at the idea.

 

“Noble fops believe their women should be sheltered and are more delicate than that spun sugar confection you've the strangest habit of eating with _olives_ as of late.” Tavaiya grinned. “It is only the crows that seem to think the 'fairer sex' is more akin to black widow spiders than sweet little song birds.”

 

“Revolting.”

 

Understandable then, why Alistair kept looking baffled that the two of them professed they disliked each other. He'd never understand you could utterly despise a person and yet get along just fine.

 

“As it just so happens..” Tavaiya sipped her tea and then sat up properly, getting Anora's sharp eyes on her at that. Tavaiya only sat up properly when she was being serious, otherwise it was fun to annoy the Queen by being a 'ruffian'. “I've a situation perhaps he can assist with.”

 

Anora titled her head slightly, aware they were most likely being eavesdropped on and Tavaiya frowned. The widening of the Queen's eyes was slight, but enough for the Jackal to know she caught on that this was _very serious_ and if Anora had any hesitation over keeping her current lover she needed to say so. Now.

 

“Do tell?”

 

Tavaiya's grin was feral and dark and _dangerous_. For all she preferred to be a playful rogue there was more than enough blood on Tavaiya's hands and Thedas was a nasty place plenty of times. Tavaiya kept from utterly losing herself to the abyss..but only so much at times. “Later.”

 

She needed the Queen genuinely shocked when the information surfaced. Now came the long and tricky part..

 

Planting evidence and framing. Tavaiya left before long, swiped a few things for good measure and dropped in to the Alienage where she was staying. Her head found a pillow in the old dilapidated house Tabris still owned with his father passed away, a pity too he'd been a good man, determined that as the new Bann with a nice manor to stay in that his childhood home would be the last to be upgraded. Already the Alienage was more run down than utterly decrepit with the elves being paid to do the work on their own. Pride at work.

 

Tavaiya could understand that. It was their home, they would wish to have the most control over what happened in it. Still, she shared the space with a number of rodents and so kept to the hammock to lessen how much she may get crawled on. It was the last place most would look for her, as Tavaiya never lit candles or used firelight when in. Elven eyes were sharper, more sensitive and didn't need as much light anyways. Exhausted with what was coming, she forced her body into slumber from long practice, mentally sending Solas an apology that once again she was no where near to being able to dream in the Fade..

 

Of course, she should have realized-or perhaps remembered- that he was a _very stubborn_ male.

()()()()()()()()()

 

There was the briefest flickering of green, the curl of hoarfrost against her skin. A sensation as if she had been pulled up from under water, with hands curled around her arms for a moment holding her steady...and then once more she slipped back too lightly for dreaming. The sound of frustrated elvhen words followed her under.

 

()()()()()()()()()

 

“Down there!”

 

Too close came the sounds as she pelted through the basement at full sprint, glad for the time spent memorizing it's layout the past few days. Tavaiya shivered as her body was wracked with chills, a warning that had nothing to do with magic. These were instincts hard won as a rogue still alive in her thirties. Casting her eyes about swiftly she grimaced. No choice for it. Taking a deep breath she ducked into the sewer down the trench for dumping out the bed pans in the old manor, and prayed to any deity that actually would hear her. It was foul, disgusting and more mud than water but it moved with her and under something as large as Denerim, here in the old mostly out of order tunnels, she could hide. The splashing and thudding muffled by the rumbling of the streets above. She bought herself time doing this knowing the guards would hesitate before following, but they would follow.

 

It was the problem with causing huge international upsets, the getting back out without letting someone stumble across it too soon. You had to stay and usually do this mad dash away to ensure the right people showed up and saw what you'd been up to. Especially when framing someone as dealing in contraband, they needed to have yelled and made a ruckus so someone had to be in the room to make them do so.

 

Perhaps most would never venture into the sewers, so out of favor as they were when Denerim had grown over the years from town to city. But Tavaiya remembered a journey down here, with Tabris, the two of them teens before the Blight and hiding from some shem's that took offense to Tabris being out with a blade. They'd fought only to get away, careful not to land blows but drunk and angry former adventurers took offense enough and the sewers had been a better risk than making it all the way across town to the alienage. Especially so close to curfew. Tabris was more warrior than rogue, not really fit for stealth so Tavaiya hadn't wished to try and teach him to roof jump.

 

Right about now she wished her friend was with her. Even out of shape as he'd gotten as a father and leader to the alienage he would have done a lot of good for her morale. Still, after that time they'd almost gotten lost in the reeking place they'd made way down to memorize the old tunnels and the cracks just big enough to hide a small framed elf. It was when she first came up with the old cloak as camouflage trick and why it was always in her pack now.

 

That trickle went up her spine again between her shoulder's and Tavaiya fought back a gasp as someone grabbed her by the arm. They'd been in waiting and she hadn't seen them, must have been down here for hours and not related to her recent job. Quickly she dropped her shoulder, twisting to send the person's body towards her as she leaned back and with a spin, slammed them into the ground below her. Blood joined the muck and mire as her blade reflexively went to slit their throat and Tavaiya looked down, elven pupils blown wide to see in the dark as best she could.

 

Small frame. Human. Mixed heritage, brown and brown obscured by the muck. Filthy now if they weren't before but the clothing wasn't too bad. Probably new to begging and..she hissed out. Well. Male. Would work, wearing a hood as she was no one would have been certain Tavaiya was female, thanks to the slightness of build her race had. Wrenching a knife through the sleeve of the once decent long sleeved tunic on the man she freed a sharp lock pick from her supplies. It wasn't perfect, but it would do. A few quick jabs to his wrists, rubbing the muck and filth into them, a few more along his other arm. If they even examined the body it would seem more like someone addicted to that vile substance that started to destroy your mind from the start.

 

Possibly the one who had been in the room of the young noble now being interrogated before the King and Queen for smuggling a substance banned from Antiva to the Kocari Wilds. Guards tended to be happy to have a scapegoat and Anora would have already known this was Tavaiya's work, if shocked by how she was getting her troublesome lover handled.

 

Yes. The now dead human, she'd find out his name and if he had any family later, would do fine as her drug addict who had been rifling in the room. To cover her planting the substance of course. She'd planned to use another beggar but..placing a scrap of the same cloth that had been around the bundle found in the nobles room into the dead man's pocket, Tavaiya pulled herself into a nook. Little more than a crack and drew her ratty old cloak liberally caked in the stomach churning substances to cover her hiding place with just her eyes barely seeing out as footsteps approached. It was a good thing she'd replaced the one she and Tam had shredded back in Haven. Almost as good of a thing as that she'd worn boots to help hide that she was an elf if seen.

 

It was really a pity the entire lot would probably need burning, unless Shianni knew someone. She probably did, Tabris may be Bann but Shianni was the one who ran the Alienage. Tavaiya hated this part. The waiting. There was always a lot of waiting when one was up to no good and her mind just wandered.

 

Slowing her breathing and wishing she didn't have to smell or pretty much _taste_ anything in the sewer, Tavaiya waited. Cold slime trickled down her scalp under the hood she wore into the back of her tunic and she felt her lips curl in a disgusted sneer. Being a rogue was often times anything but glamorous.

 

As the guards hauled the dead man away, laughing at how 'these beggars..can you believe this used to be that ..' and “Got his comeuppance didn't he?' at least left her with a name. Interesting. They knew of him, it combined with a few snatches of words echoing back at her about a gambling problem and no family gave Tavaiya a starting point. Of course she'd ensure he really didn't have any dependents. If he did she'd make sure they got some sort of regular stipend until they were older or in the case of elders, passed away, to ease her guilt at her instant reaction. Sometimes they had a bastard or two around but a few discrete talks would let her know.

 

Now, finally, to get top side. And find a river because if she dared to walk into a house like this the smell would never leave.

()()()()()()()

 

Spinning around staff in hand, Vivienne's spell flared brilliant blue as ice encrusted the area in a fantastic display as she pushed her limits just that much further than ever before. “You know darling..” the words fell effortlessly as her ice froze the air into tiny snowflakes around them, the last of her mana spent but at least the onslaught was finally over. “You owe me new boots, inquisitor.”

 

“I..of course, Madame de Fer.” Tam agreed wearily as he leaned on his own staff. Thankfully with the lot of them there, magic had handled the mess easily. “Who wants to skip camp to just trudge back to out of the Fallowmire?”

 

“...there were ruins in this area somewhere you said, Da'len?” Solas reminded him and Tam winced at the sheer cutting tone.

 

“We've no potions, no healing items..and all of us are almost out of mana, Solas. We recovered a good deal of books you insisted on the lot of us helping to carry even though not a one is of any use to a true scholar, isn't that enough for now?” Vivienne's snarky reply was just as cutting.

 

“Solas, we really couldn't take another encounter..” Tam started to apologize. He half expected the surly older male to stalk off and look on his own to be honest.

 

“Look lets all just get back, patched up since even you don't have any mana left..” Bull finally interjected. “Frankly there's too many traps for us to get very far around here. Those ruins you thought you saw must be very far off the map that Harding updated for us.”

 

“Perhaps bring Varric?” Vivienne suggested, already leading the way out and Tam winced. Yeah. Those boots and maybe all of their attire was beyond hope. The only reason Vivienne hadn't gutted them all was because she had been muttering under her breath about finally getting the elfin boy-children into halfway decent attire so they ceased looking homeless and of course the female had the sense to listen to her advice.

 

It was going to be a long trek back.

 

“What good would the dwarf do, Viv?” Bull managed to choke out a laugh. “Sink in the swamp? Moan over the warping the moisture will do to his lady weapon?”

 

“Do not call me Viv!”

 

“You do not intend to return?” Solas was walking next to him which Tam was grateful for. Being the youngest, Tam was the least used to these skirmishes still and leaning on his staff like a walking stick.

 

“I promised the Avaar to help..and there's a few places I'd like to look still..only found that medallion. Ugh. Yes, I need to return hahren but do you fault us for our action? For retreating?”

 

After a lengthy pause Solas sighed. “I cannot, though I would prefer to have investigated what you said you saw on your swift foray through here..”

 

“It was years ago.” Tam rubbed at his eyes. “But I was sure there was this big bunch of stones deep in the swamp with swirled patterns and the Keeper did not wish us to linger. Said it was a bad omen to be so near a place that was once deaths'.”

 

“Falon'Din?”

 

“Probably.” Tam agreed. “I really was young and forgot about it until we ended up passing near when by the Hinterlands..lost. You know, from that map I read wrong.”

 

The reminder brought a hint of a chuckle to Solas's demeanor. “I see. So there is only your childhood memory to go on, but it did make an impression..”

 

“I'm certain of it being Elvhen, Hahren. I hadn't come into my magic yet but there was something I don't know, heavy?..about the place.”

 

“Do you think when fed and rested you can give me a vague idea of where from the map?”

 

“You aren't really coming back alone are you?”

 

“I am considering it. I have dreamed in places more dangerous before after all..”

 

“Right the whole food for giant spiders part.”

 

“Indeed.” And finally the shoulder's shifted and Tam saw Solas relax again even as he rubbed at his eyes.

 

“Couldn't sleep well in this swamp either huh?”

 

“Hm. The fade was..less satisfactory as of late.”

()()()()()()()()()()()

 

After they return to Skyhold it seems there is another slew of random events that pull Tam's attention every which way. It isn't until he's finally eating, bathed earlier and back in his comfortable attire as Inquisitor that he closes his eyes a moment. Only to find Leliana is standing there.

 

“Tam, a word, if you will?”

 

“....is swearing approrpirate?” He asks, exhausted enough to mess up his words and Leliana sighs.

 

“I just wanted to inform you before gossip did, Tavaiya is not back yet.”

 

“Oh. Any news?”

 

“No.”

 

He doesn't think anything of it but Tam is still quite naïve.

 

Another few days and when Varric finally mentioned it again Tam is now worried. “Really? No word?” Varric scowls. “That's not entirely unsual but asking for no contact?”

 

“Maybe she's somewhere tricky?” Tam asks as they wander the library. Dorian is nearby and Tam is peeking out at the mage,enjoying the way his form is lit by the light.

 

“Naw. Rogues say no contact, that means don't contact anyone in the area. It means something nasty is going down..”

 

“Nasty?”

 

Varric scowls, a hand going to pat Bianca. “I told some of my own sources not to contact me when the worst of Kirkwall was going on and Hawke left.”

 

“Oh...” Tam sighed. “Maybe she just forgot?”

 

“Someone like Secrets? Naw, glowbug. It's been a shit storm wherever she went I guarantee you that. All we can do now is hope she comes back and alive.”

 

Somewhere in the slew of open balconies a book was dropped, but it was such a common sound that no one reacted. Well, except that a certain too handsome for anyone's good Tevinter Altus began lecturing loudly to the air about treating the books well.

 

()()()()()()()()()()()

A glass of wine, red and half sour but made palatable warmed with spices and a hefty dollop of honey was in Tavaiya's hands, cupped in a rough and hideous clay cup as she leaned into Shianni's side. Shianni of course was not drinking, instead smoothing her hand over her growing belly and chuckling.

 

“I still can't believe it took so much hot water to get the smell off you when clean enough you could go bathe in the palace. You're lucky Alistair's servants like you so much! That was four tub fulls!”

 

“I made it up to them.” Tavaiya chuckled, sipping at the drink again. No one made it the same but Shianni's was always like her. Red as blood, so spiced you almost had your eyes water followed by sweetness. The first time Shianni had heard about the mulled wine that Tavaiya adored she'd done her best, limited supplies available and all and with spices so very expensive. Truly, Alistair helped spoil her friend rotten these days but Shianni's recipe remained unchanged. Perfectly so.

 

“Oh? I know the twins said something about dresses..”

 

“I've some for Orleisan events I'll never wear again, I offered them to them if they want to have them fixed or cut off the fabric to make new. Blood doesn't always come out but the fabric is still gorgeous.”

 

“Only you would trade Antivan silks and brocades for hot baths.”

 

“Practicality is our hallmark.”

 

“Don't ever lose it.” Shianni chuckled, tea in her hands, well more honey with a splash of tea. She'd taken to craving honey and Alistair's needing to deal with his lawful wife and his beloved pregnant at the same time was a special kind of torture that left him spoiling Shianni in any way she'd permit. Being a very practical sort, it wasn't much. Soft clothing, a better bed and chair, and all the honey she could get through though? Especially because it helped soothe her mornings, was a pleasure.

 

“I thought you said that about your heart?”

 

“I said never give your heart away. It seems though it can get a mind of it's own and just wander off!” Shianni paused for a moment and Tavaiya didn't look over, knowing she'd have that slightly haunted look. Once, when younger, Shianni had teased to never loose being practical, never give ones heart unless they were married. That had been a Shianni who was so excited to be wed some day, jealous when Tabris and Soris were engaged. The events of that day, and Tavaiya would never cease hating that she hadn't been there for it but she was new into her advanced crow tutoring and they never warned you when they would poison or abduct you..

 

Still. What if.

 

What if she'd been there? The odds honestly, were that in place of Tabris or beside him, Tavaiya would have been conscripted will she nill she, by the Gray Warden-Commander Duncan. That she would have died at Ostagar. That she would have not saved Shianni what happened.

 

It still haunted her.

 

That road was a dark one. Sometimes it kept her up, the lives she'd taken -like the man in the sewer who it turned out was a nasty sort with not a soul to mourn him. He'd been a soldier who was kicked out for stealing from his fellow's coin purses and gambled every coin he'd gotten.- Like so many others. Only a few rules were entirely set in stone. She would not ever kill a child, she spared the innocents. For some reason ruining nobles never bothered her but she could blame Orlais for corrupting what little concern she had for a lot of them. Few were like Elan and Alistair, most were twisted and selfish.

 

In a way she was relieved Shianni was kept in the background never to be exposed to that lot of foul grubby minded fools. In others? Shianni would have been ten times the Queen Anora was, and she was even further along in her pregnancy. Alistair's word to Shianni had been once he had a lawful heir he would never touch Anora again. Shianni, bless her, trusted him and had not held his going to the Queen until she was pregnant against him. Alistair had even proven that getting an heir as a Warden had not been as difficult as others thought. Perhaps there was a reason, perhaps it was just that he was young.

 

But Shianni was excited about the child within her, one of love and Tavaiya was pleased to see her so.

 

“So do I want to ask though how you knew someone who managed to get that stench out of my gear?” She teased Shianni and sipped her wine again.

  
“Um...”

 

There was a silent pause and the two women started laughing. Because, like Tavaiya, Shianni got herself into the strangest situations.

 

“That bad?”

 

“That bad.”

 

“I'll wait.” She said and placed her head back on Shianni's shoulder. Maybe the woman was a touch younger than her, but comfort was needed. Tavaiya had been forcing herself into a soldier's sleep, feeling deep but honestly so light one never fell into dreams. Able to sleep anywhere but not exactly restful. It had been a very long three weeks. Finally though, the informant chain was fixed, the spies and double and even a triple agent, handled and their contacts adjusted and if routed more through Tavaiya it was an alliance she could stomach keeping with the Nightingale in the future. She'd gotten rid of three assassination attempts, removed Anora's lover permanently back to Antiva disgraced and with no chance of clearing his name -he was going to be a useful tool for Damian once she filled him in on it, a desperate noble with shame that he hadn't earned but had been between Anora's legs? He would _know_ things he didn't even realize he knew- gotten rid of the blackmail suspicion on Shianni by working with the right nobles to prove that no of course Shianni had no reason to blackmail anyone she was perfectly fine running the alienage and was going to be a mother to the King's bastard which was no secret, that Alistair doted on her was even less of one. The woman who had been suspected of being the Kings' lover in the court had been thrilled to have the rumors cleared up and there was a very nice old book in her belongings now that looked Elvhen. She thought Tam and Solas may enjoy it.

 

It had been a very long three weeks and Tavaiya needed true sleep desperately but she hadn't seen Shianni in ages.

 

“Who is he?” Shianni spoke softly.

 

“Mmm?”

 

“You've met someone.” The red head spoke with a knowing smile. “You haven't toned down the banter with the men here in the alienage, but you don't even seem interested in kissing any much less seeing if any are good with their hands or mouths. So either you've taken vows in the chantry or met someone.”

 

The memory of hoarfrost upon her skin, full lips whispering against the shell of her ear..and the way honeywine was mellowing into something richer played through Tavaiya.

 

“I knew it!” Shianni laughed. “You should see your face, you got this look..and your ears went pink. They still do that.”

 

“Doesn't leave this room.” Tavaiya specified as a condition and Shianni just beamed at her. It was the same promise that she'd dragged out of Tavaiya when insisting she had to talk..and then learning that her friend had fallen in love with the King of Fereldan and had it returned? That had been a shock.

 

“I promise, Vai.” Shianni said and she was the _only one_ ever allowed to use that nickname. Shianni's eyes danced seeing the moment Tavaiya gave in, where her shoulder's slumped and her gaze went into that hideous cup, one that Shianni kept for sentimental reasons, as if she was picturing something. The pregnant elf had never seen her friend so affected, and it was fascinating to witness. There hadn't been much to give it away, but the simple lack of action on Tavaiya's part regarding even glancing at the men around, alienage or not, had been the first clue. Usually she was looking, wondering whom would let her go without being too serious. A bit of fun, and then away again. That was Tavaiya, elusive and wild and never caught.

 

Except it seemed she had been, and didn't even know it herself.

 

When Tavaiya finally spoke it was low, a secret she seemed to be discovering for the first time and yet it sounded as if she'd said this to someone before. Shianni dearly hoped Tavaiya had a good female friend to open up to in that Inquisition, with Elan gone there was a sorrow and heaviness there for all the light jokes that Shianni could see.

 

“I suppose, it first began with his voice.” Tavaiya closed her eyes then and took in a breath, Shianni transfixed at the way her friend was so utterly lost in the memories she was pulling up. No, her rogue friend had no idea of just how deeply she'd already fallen. “He has this way of speaking, mellow and controlled. Rich and a true pleasure to listen to, yet when he's excited about something it changes and he goes from knowing elder, scholarly, to vibrant youth and all but rushing about to prove why he decided on such a choice only to remember he can't show what sources he's used. It's achingly endearing.”

 

“All that about just his voice.”

 

Tavaiya opened her eyes and gave a smile. “What do you want to know?”

 

“Everything! But since we don't have that much time..” Shianni gestured to the hearth. “Get another ladle of wine and start telling me the details. What's he look like, don't think I missed you avoiding a name, Vai! Have you kissed yet? Have you done _anything_ yet? Is he in the Inquisition? Oh of course he must be..”

 

Obediently, Tavaiya got another glass of wine from where it simmered in the pot over the hearth. “All right but I'm staying on your floor tonight.”

 

“You can share the bed with me. Alistair replaced it with a huge one so he'd fit the big lug, and he won't come tonight.”

 

“You're certain?”

 

“If he does than _he_ can take the floor!”

 

“Very well then, Mistress to the Archdemon Slayer..I'll call him ...” She sought in her mind for an appropriate name to give Solas, never wishing to have it get back to him or have Shianni say it to the wrong person, Tavaiya did have enemies after all. Any good rogue did. Hahren seemed too impersonal, and she wasn't about to use half the disdainful names that she heard floating around from other members of the inquisition.

 

“You'd laugh..” She says instead, as she thinks of the words that come to mind. Honeywine and hoarfrost. Drumbeats and crackling of power, the loam of forest after a rain. Addiction.

 

“I promise I won't.”Shianni swears and watches as Tavaiya chews on her lip. Capitulates.

 

“In my thoughts only, Shianni..if I'm a Jackal, if Elan was a Mabari..he is a Wolf.” Because the way Solas walked reminded her of them, the way he held himself apart and dignified. Every bit the sterotypical lone wolf. Powerful, misunderstood, beautiful. When her eyes meet Shianni's she sees the moment her friend picks up on that this is something deeply personal, private. From her old friend Tavaiya does not hide that this new depth of interest scares her.

 

“He's a mage. A very powerful mage, he's brilliant. So much so it comes across as rude and arrogance but it's like he simply cannot fathom anyone who hasn't devoted themselves to the same level of studies.” She does not tell about the Fade, and his abilities because it could be traced back and she wants the Inquisition, wants Solas, protected. Shianni may accidentally say something and she will not risk a moment of comfort with wine softening her reservations to endanger anyone. “An elf..” She continues with a grin at Shianni who just rolls her eyes because Tavaiya has never really explicitly been interested in only elves but they do tend to be the only ones that catch her eye for more than a single glance. “Compared to most though he has muscles, lean and long ones.”

 

“Adding to that wolf idea...” Shianni encourages her and Tavaiya laughs.

 

“Have seen him shirtless, walked in on the men on a trip for the inquisition and..” Shianni snickers seeing Tavaiya lick her lips and wiggle her eyebrows.

  
“Kissed him yet?”

 

“His wrist.”

 

“Tavaiya!”

 

“It's..different.” She frowns, furrows her brow and leans back as if just coming to a realization. “Somehow kissing him is not like if I kissed any of the others, Shianni. I just know it. It's..it makes it all real. Declaration of sorts, a line in the sand. I don't know why but my instincts scream this. I think he senses it too because he's teased me back but won't initiate a kiss either.”

 

“Maybe if he's older he wants to be sure you aren't turned off by an old man?”

 

“Maybe.” But Shianni sees the tilt to Tavaiya's head, the flint in her eyes as she recalls something and for all that her friend is right there it is the relaxation of her guard that proves how much Tavaiya trusts Shianni.

 

“Okay so you haven't kissed him. You want to though? Or is this just another the chase is the thrilling part?” Shianni almost laughs as Tavaiya shakes her head and starts to refute it. Pales. Shianni remembers that moment, the moment her head spun and the floor dropped. When she realized she wanted more than just a night of passion with Alistair but hadn't yet been truly in love.

“It's okay Tavaiya.”

 

“Shianni..” And the rogue who trained with the crows who tutored her, who just helped disgrace a Queen's lover to get him out of the country and unable to refute anything without them passing it off as a cuckolded lover, who killed three assassins in the last two weeks and who knew what else Shianni was kept in the dark on..looked at her with eyes better suited to a young girl at that moment not a woman well into her thirties.

 

“It'll be fine. It'll work out.” Shianni smiles and pats Tavaiya's hand.

 

“I have no idea how to do this..whatever..this is.”

 

“No one does, Vai. We all just fumble along and somehow things happen or they don't. Don't you dare let fear hold you back, not now.”

 

How can Tavaiya argue with the mistress to a king counseling her to just see where it leads?

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Pfft. Drink more. Since I don't get any details You get to listen to this book Alistair's found lately and has been trying things out with me..well what we can do with the belly..it's the stupidest things. And the pictures! He can't even point at them without turning red!”

 

The book is not Antivan, the images are badly drawn, but they help pass the night with tea and wine and laughter until the women fall asleep curled up together in the too large bed. Safe as they can be, Tavaiya finally lets her guard down enough to fall asleep properly with the last thought that some day, she is getting Cassandra and Shianni together and the giggling will go for days.

()()()()()()()()()()()

 

_Fingers calloused from wielding a staff as a weapon in battle, not just as a tool, tracing down her side through the shift she's wearing as Tavaiya's pulled to Solas's lap from where he was sitting. Notes forgotten when she moved to entice him, after another one of her nightmarish memories. Soft trails of gentle healing magic that burned cold fire into her skin and pulled sounds from her, shamelessly. Her own hands gripping at his biceps tightly in lieu of the chair, he'd taken to working with his shirt off so she could slip into the familiar sweater if she was chilled. Her nails leaving marks upon Solas's bared skin. Lips pressed against her shoulder where the fabric had slipped away, mouthing a litany in ancient Elvhen that was without doubt praising and damning her both as was his want. The words she'd learned meant little trickster by feel only, no idea what it sounded like as the magic in his speech coursed into her blood. A moan pulled from her as his fingers went from light to gripping her hip tightly, dragging short nails along her skin even as he healed the miniscule marks._

 

“ _Bésame..” The Antivan is torn out of her mouth in reaction, a frantic gasp._

 

There is a flickering to her awareness and she lets it slip away, the memory that is not really hers. Solas is there.

 

“You finally return to the Fade.” His voice is tight, strained a bit from the imagery he walked in on. Well despite his effort to sound calm it was a surprise to finally sense Tavaiya dreaming. He'd pulled her into deep enough sleep to try and meet with her once or twice but she'd slipped back away as if trained to only stay at a certain level of it. Likely, she had. He _had_ meant to get answers, interrogate her.

 

“It's been a very long few weeks.” Tavaiya responds to him with a smile, amused at the scene he walked in on before it faded. Indeed she looks around, then hums a little, thoughtful. “Pity. That seemed like a pleasant one.”

 

Despite himself Solas feels the laughter escape. Indeed it had.

 

“What is, Besame?”

 

“ _Bésame..”_ She repeats, a sly grin to her face. “{It means Kiss me, but I do not think I wish to let you know.}”

 

Solas quirks a brow but smiles in response, impatient here in the Fade where everything seems more real to him. When he had just watched another form of himself beneath the woman before him, both in his cabin with an unhuried air as if they knew it was late enough to not be disturbed. The familiarity in the words that had been passing between them. And just perhaps, he now had a peculiar lament for the loss of that chair back in Haven..“In common.”

 

“Kiss me.”

 

He's startled, it taking a moment for the simple delivery of the phrase, the wry smile to sync in his thoughts. Traitorous thing, the muscle of his heart that seems to shiver an inelegant beat. “I see.” Solas frowns then, wanting to ask many questions but uncertain how to go about it. He's seen parts of these memories she holds, that she can not truly recall upon waking. Enough to know that the alternate future had been a horrid experience and he is hesitant to ask her to go through any of it again. Especially when he has been informed she does re-experience the memories.

 

“There wasn't much time.” Tavaiya says, her eyes glancing off to the side. Giving him an easy way to start. “From what I can tell. Nothing like the certainty of the world about to burn to cause a lot of horrible events. Most those memories are ...unpleasant. I spent a great deal of time out of Haven.” She survived where and when she shouldn't, her senses always scraped raw and feeling like a wound but still, a warning no one else could seem to have.

 

“It is understandable then..” Solas agrees,moving to her side though he doesn't touch her, waiting to see if she would permit it as she had back overlooking Skyhold. “To dwell on more _pleasant_ memories.”

 

Tavaiya looks up at him, her lips in a smile. “If rather awkward to have a witness for. At least, considering you are also involved in them.”

 

“Oh? Are you so blasé about being observed then?” Solas pulls his arms behind his back to keep from pulling her close. Though he has no compunctions over expressing his curiosity at learning more of the strange enigma before him. She grins at him, that sly teasing smile that always reminds him of that night. _Good evening, Healer.._ It is a title he never has placed upon his shoulder's and one he has become enamored of, he realizes. From her lips came not mage, not apostate. Just healer. She's seen his magics since, the paltry tricks he still has at his call, and yet. Some part of Solas knows that first impressions remain, as he first saw her wild and feral, dangerous. Something he has never forgotten.

 

“When I had crow training one of the lessons is in kissing.” Tavaiya grimaces and rolls her eyes. “It also involves a great lot of rogues and all calling out instructions or heckling. Teach you to be aware of what is said around you and not get lost in the action. More, it was to teach us to kiss those we do not want.”

 

“I see. It is a meaningless act then, to the crows?”

 

“Hardly. Between friends?” She flickered her fingers, unaware that Solas had spied on her, seen the intimacy with one of the said crows as they seemed almost lover like but entirely not at the same time. “Often they share a kiss but it is more because they show affection in ways that are a little skewed. Most crows and those who work with them enough to be considered 'feathered' kiss but only after a long while of proving interest to those they do wish to pursue. There are always those who go entirely for hedonistic pleasures and mean nothing more but..”

 

“And where do you fall?” Solas asked, curious.

 

Tavaiya glanced up at him and tilted her head. “I have never asked to be kissed before.”

 

“Besame, was it?” He queried to deflect the seriousness of what she was implying. For he would not make the first such move, not when the age gap was so vast between them and glimpses of her memories here in the Fade kept showing that he had in that other timeline, one so fraught with danger as to consume his every moment thought her worth forgoing everything. Something had been there in the woman before him that made it worth losing hours to be with her. That he'd muttered _“/Wars would have been fought over one such as you in Arlathan. But you are mine, only mine./”_ Solas wanted answers.

 

“More inflection. _Bésame._ ”

 

“I believe it sounds far more, enticing, coming from you.” Solas held out his hand then, curious as to what else he had witnessed. Had heard. Not that he would translate those Elvhen words his memory self had been whispering against her flesh. The very nature of them had been passionate but relieved tones. Chastising her for almost not returning. Frantically. How often had Solas then, thought her lost forever?

 

“You're frowning.” Tavaiya pointed out even as she laced her fingers into his, not just holding his hand lightly. When she pulled, he allowed his form to be moved closer to her so her free hand could fuss with the finer attire he was clad in.

 

“Leliana has not had word from you. Everyone is concerned.” Himself included, and he looked into her gaze, seeing remorse for her silence. “Even I could not find you in the Fade until now.”

 

“I thought you almost did.”

  
“Once or twice.” He conceded with a smile. “You noticed. Interesting, generally those who are not mages do not..”

 

“When you learn to sleep lightly going deep enough to dream tends to be noticeable.”

 

“The thought had not occurred to me that perhaps you were doing so intentionally. Were you so in danger?” Solas found his lips against her fingertips as he'd brought her hand to him to cease her fussing with the fabric. It was distracting, her running touch over the elegant if simple brocade.

 

“It has been a _long_ three weeks...what about yours?”

 

“Mud, rain, swamps, undead..and the general trivialities that come from getting Skyhold in better condition.” He confessed, pulling a laugh from her.

 

“Undead? Truly? Tell me you had Dorian..”

 

“Hardly. The Knight enchanter and the qunari. At least the later is quite adept at chess, enough so we need not the presence of an actual board to play.” Solas felt immensely smug when Tavaiya's breath caught and her eyes widened. Interesting, she found his intelligence a factor in his appeal to her? That, well, he had known her to be curious but not that her appreciation was so visceral. Speaking of..the faintest touch of healing magic trailed over her where their fingers joined and with another of those moans she'd made in the memory, Tavaiya rested her forehead against his shoulder.

 

“You're going to get me woken up..”

 

“I wasn't aware you were sharing a bed.”

 

Tavaiya swallowed at the dark tone that had crept into Solas's voice. Heady and protective more than possessive. The emphasis on bed also implied a cell, or a situation where maybe she was being held against her will. For just a moment the drumbeats blossomed into a truly impressive song, that of a fanfare that would have put anything in Orlais for the Empress to shame. This was war drums and strings, other instruments she couldn't place before it faded back away. Solas was a mage who could be _dangerous_.

 

In response, Tavaiya nuzzled against his neck, feeling his breath catch and the increase of the hoarfrost curling around them. “With an old friend of mine, Shianni. She's pregnant. Tabris's cousin. I think I have finally gotten everything sorted out that I can. The only real consolation is that Nightingale is going to owe me and she sent me on this thinking it was going to be more a connection gathering trip to try and entice me to her side instead.”

 

“Are you up for bargaining of your loyalties? I had not thought you the sort.”

 

“Hardly. Vivienne's trying, Leliana is as well. I have history with both of them but right now I'm helping Tam and the Inquisition..”

 

“And after?”

 

Tavaiya glanced up out the corner of her eye, catching sight of Solas with a distant look, his eyes gazing far into the Fade. Ever so slightly his fingers had tightened on hers.

 

“A rogue is never promised a tomorrow, Solas.”

 

His hands dropped hers and were cupping her face then, her own flying to his wrists in surprise but not alarm. Somehow she just couldn't be alarmed by him.

 

“Do not be careless, Tavaiya. Swear that you will not be.”

 

To Elan she had often joked she would never be safe, but there was a genuine concern in his eyes. The Fade flickered around them. Neither looked away as the echo of memory was pulled to the surface just enough to hear.

 

“ _Try to return.” Came Solas's voice, a weary plea but also a faint gentleness to his tone._

“ _If I breathe, I shall.” Tavaiya answered without hesitation._

 

The memory completely slipped away and Solas blinked at her. “I can see from your expression that was not..on purpose. Has it been happening?”

 

“Often.” She agreed. “The worst was in Haven, when attacked. The memory of hiding in the templar hide out, the..oh! Cole! Cole was with me I didn't recognize him..but he was there, helped me survive for days. I knew how and where to strike them from that memory, how they moved with the Red Lyrium..”

 

The hands holding her cheeks shifted slightly, his thumbs sweeping gently, slowly, over her skin. “Then you must know what Cole _is_? Beyond the rumors..”

 

“He told me. I think I am half aware when awake but I trust him.”

 

“Despite his being a spirit?”

 

“Aren't we all once we ignore the bodies?”

 

Solas stepped away, laughing but it was a light hearted if disbelieving sound. “In all the years..yes..that is..sometimes you amaze me, little trickster. You are unlike anyone else and I feel..”

 

“You feel?” Tavaiya teased him, enjoying this more playful side.

 

Solas paused, words about to come out. Perhaps a dismissal, perhaps a line that was heartfelt. Neither seemed right, not when the rogue looking at him opened up her memories to him. Not when he remembered the words being said fervently, content knowing the recipient could not understand them. Instead he smiled. “I feel more myself around you than I have since I was a much younger man.”

 

“Some things improve with age.” She replied with a grin and Solas shook his head not fighting his smile. If only she knew..

 

“You were going to tell me what you have been up to, besides that the Nightingale made a mistake?”

 

“Well..there was handling the double agent, the triple agent, another double agent..the assassination attempts which are up to three of them now..catching out someone planning on using the Inquisition supplies to smuggle an exceptionally dangerous drug which did come in handy for planting false evidence and getting rid of the Queen's lover trying to Blackmail her. He's Antivan so once I alert my crow friends about him he'll become one of their tools..”

 

One by one the rogue started counting on her fingers, almost distractedly, unfocused. Further deeds piling up. Every comment she was making though stirred his blood with the dual memory that this was a _dangerous_ woman. One whom from what he had witnessed in these memories, went to him before those who courted her information. Who dared to ask questions most mages would not even consider. The plain conversation about kissing only meaning something to the crows, and those 'feathered' when they waited for it with her teasing his wrist. That in her memory she was all but keening under his touch begged to be kissed. _Bésame._ That damned phrase was going to haunt him now.

 

“..oh.” She blinked and grinned over at him. That teasing feral smirk that did things to Solas's blood that reminded him of his younger years. If he'd met her then it would have been devastating to all of Elvhenan he had no doubt. “I also without giving a name or describing your appearance was forced to gossip with Shianni about whom has my attention.” The implication that she'd not been looking for other distractions was not lost on Solas.

 

“And how would you describe me, if not by name or appearance?” Solas teased her, intrigued. Perhaps that he was a mage and his abilities, or his love of learning? His fascination with all things that remained of the Elvhen heritage? Of course, he really should have known by then that Tavaiya was going to surprise him. Her intricacies drawing him ever closer, more willing to see if there was yet a way to experience the memories she had of him for himself. Or make new ones.

 

“I started, with your voice.”

 

Of course that was when she apparently woke up, leaving Solas to open his eyes back in Skyhold with a grimace. He'd been entirely side tracked. Again. Glancing upwards he sighed and stood to go inform Leliana that he'd at least contacted Tavaiya and she was alive. Morning interrogations were always so..droll. Solas did intend to spin the information in such a way that he would not have his little trickster away for so long again on Leliana's behalf.

 

His?

 

Where had that come from?

 

 


	22. Return to Skyhold

AN: Short but here you go. Can't wait till you see what I'm writing ahead..

()()()()()()()()()()

 

Tavaiya felt her eyes flutter. Someone was at her shoulder, gently shaking her. Someone she trusted enough to not have wakened faster. Her hand went to her shoulder, feeling the soft skin, callused fingers against her bare arm. Half turning she met Shianni's eyes as the woman perched upon her bed and smiled back at her.

 

“Where they good dreams?” Shianni teased, having woken to get something to drink and seeing the sweet smile Tavaiya'd had in her sleep. That Tavaiya trusted her enough to sleep in just her tunic and with only the single blade Shianni knew was under her pillow, Shianni had one there too, always melted her heart. This was still deep down the same girl that had curled up with her and Tabris when they were small, older than they were but no less like family for all they shared not a drop of blood. It was already close to morning though and she knew how her friend hated sleeping in. Neither of them had really ever enjoyed the luxury, when you had work to do you were up when the sky was. If you slept in even for a day sometimes it took weeks to get feeling normal again after.

 

“If more were like that, I may be willing to actually get full nights rest more often.” Tavaiya agreed with a laugh. She moved to join Shianni for breakfast but the dream with Solas had only made it more evident to her that she wanted to return, find her way back to Skyhold. Maybe it was finally time they sat down in person and talked. For some reason, that ever present burn she had started to ignore in her chest seemed less painful at the idea of returning. Maybe she just needed to be around magic once more.

 

That was the only positive, truly. By the time she would be back Tavaiya would have been through all of her magic withdrawal symptoms and while she felt a loss being so away from it this entire time, it was always good to recalibrate. Besides, a sneaky too handsome for her own good male liked cornering her in her dreams. Not that Tavaiya would be sleeping deeply if really at all whilst on the road. Maybe she should look into getting a dog to help keep watch? But that was one more thing to feed and house and who knew if Skyhold could handle it. Assuming, that was, that Tam or Cullen didn't just steal any beast she brought back.

 

Still..

 

“Alistair still got all those hounds about?”

 

“Are you kidding? He keeps trying to give me a Mabari. I told him if it came here he wouldn't be able to fit in the house with it.” Shianni smirked, making her laugh.

 

“Mabari as wonderful as they sound, are a bit too obvious..”

 

“Want something mangier?”

 

“he still goes on about that 'Not mangy' line with the dogs? What did that Hero of Fereldan do to him? I mean doesn't she have a Mabari?”

 

Shianni groans. “I swear Tavaiya, he's an idiot, but he is my idiot.”

 

“You're a good match.” Tavaiya smiled then and leaned over to whisper because one never knew who may be listening. “And we both know, to Alistair, you are his real Queen.”

 

Shianni smiled softly back, her cheeks flushed and eyes dancing even as her hand fell to her abdomen. To the babe Shianni already loved, and no less for knowing it would be an elf blooded human without her ears or eyes, the judging that she would always go through protecting another such child in the world. “I'm glad we hadn't met before. You know? Fereldan does well under him.”

 

“Cleary so do you considering you're pregnant.”

 

Tavaiya did her friend the honor of not dodging the swat that came her way.

()()()()()()()

 

Alistair had not even considered parting with one of his hounds but had given her a horse for the journey, close to fifteen hands tall with bags full of supplies and gear. Anora had even chipped in and there was a new cloak. Soft and warm sable fur with a deep brown wool side facing outwards so it was not so evident of it's finery. The cost of ruining a man who thought to black mail a Queen. Strange world she lived in. Alistair had also let her know that he'd heard from Elan's cousins, and all was well. There was nothing left to keep her in Denerim, or Fereldan at all. It was strange, she thought as she steered her dark brown horse with the most beautiful black mane and tail onto the road.

 

She actually had..nothing tying her anywhere. Only the friendship she had with Tam and the desire to see Solas was pulling her back to Skyhold. For just a moment, Tavaiya let the horse move without her guidance as her head tilted back, eyes locked onto the expanse of blue and gray above her.

 

The urge to just race off, find somewhere that had never heard of her was strong. It had never struck before.

 

_Little Trickster..._

 

No. She would figure out this strangely comforting dynamic that she had with Solas. Perhaps, after, if things went sour, she'd go to Antiva. Damian had never been shy about wishing to have her there. The sudden burn under her leathers made Tavaiya flinch and she felt her left hand flying to her right side, pressing against the skin with a frown. Come to think of it, this was not normal. It had been over a month and a half now, before Haven fell that at times it felt as if something burned beneath her flesh. Breathing out Tavaiya nodded. She trusted Solas, she'd ask him to look. But first she had to make it to Skyhold.

()()()()()()()()

 

Any rogue could tell you how to travel. At night was best, camping early and off the road. Horses were nocturnal beasts though most did not realize that and were completely unhindered by the lack of light. Indeed, if one was able to trust their mount, a horse could run at full gallop when even elven eyes may have glanced to the ground to ensure their footing. At times she'd stay up longer when she found a farm in the midst of nowhere, trade coin and news for a loaf of bread and some food she could gulp down while her horse worked on the nearby plants. Inn's were easy to track, it was the hard hit farms that were better off. They had less and were much more willing to share in exchange for coin. The few that had stables she would even pay to sleep in with her beast as then she could keep her gear and animal with her, sleeping during the day. Promises that she wasn't avoiding anything or anyone that would bring them trouble would buy their silence almost as well as her coin did. Usually she just affected large eyes and told them about her lover not taking well to the fact she was barren and going back to her family. It was a load of horse shit but acceptable enough and even the most stern faced farm wife would cringe at the idea of not having children.

 

Which Tavaiya simply didn't understand but then the idea of having kids had never occurred to her save to take the things to ensure if the unspeakable acts occurred to her on a job there would be no child as a reminder.

 

Without fail, every time she fell asleep when it was not yet light out, she felt the pull of insistent hands upon her arms, trying to bring her deeper into dreams. Once or twice she even made out Solas's features and so she'd tease him to get him to loosen his grasp upon her so she could resume her light slumbering, easy to waken from.

 

It was amazing what a purr of “ _Bésame, guapo..”_ could do to the countenance of the apostate.

 

Nothing like wakening with your hand covering your mouth to muffle laughter. She had learned that seeing Solas blush was a rare and delightful sight, one that was proving as addictive as the sense of his hoarfrost reacting in the Fade.

 

She made fantastic time, the beast Alistair had given Tavaiya was truly a wonder. It needed little prompting to break into a full run and had such a large but smooth gait when in gallop that she felt utterly free. When the change of terrain necessitated going slower it was a great pity. This was a creature that should never have been tamed, but left wild upon the great expanses of wilderness. That said, Tavaiya would ensure that her mount would never want of anything while it was in her power to give it.

 

Perhaps that is why she named it as she did.

 

“Restless.”

()()()()()()()()

Solas was deep in the Fade, wandering in memories of Skyhold as it had once been when he felt someone near his body. Stirring, he began to waken just as a soft cloak was draped over his form and footsteps were fading away barely audible to his exceptional hearing. He sat up upon his couch, curious as to the unfamiliar garment beneath his fingers. There was no tell tale scent beyond the earthy scent of horse and frost, but something inside knew.

 

Sure enough of what he would find, with just the faintest dip into the energies that permeated Skyhold so utterly he could watch his own aura far less he felt it. An old trick back from his days in Arlathan where the Evanarius would be able to monitor and seek out any they desired from the connection they had to the Fade. Every living thing, save for dwarves, had it in some miniscule amount. So little that compared to what they had once been it was far kinder to think of the quicklings as tranquil instead of the dead and shades.

 

Tam was brighter these days, a heartening sight. Not entirely due to his carrying the anchor upon his palm either. The young Dalish was becoming a true testament to the resiliency of his ancient heritage so long diluted. His quick mind and eagerness to learn of his people's history made Solas proud. What a wonder the boy would have been in Arlathan, no doubt the number of mages and favored to the Evanarius would have petitioned the child's parents for the right to tutor him. Such a very eager mind, now that he was willing to look beyond the tales he had lived with his entire life, would have been treasured. If perhaps lectured on being too swift to act on impulse. It was a trial of youth however, and Solas attempted not to remember that anyone under half a millennium was generally considered still a child.

 

Dorian was brilliant enough to his senses, most mages were after certain levels of power and so Solas had to grudgingly give even Vivienne her due. Still they were tiny little tea lights to his forest fire. He had not seen Tavaiya here yet considering her immediate absence, not when he had started practicing checking in where everyone was from his Rotunda. Once the space where now he made his choice to paint and study in plain sight had been part of a large meditation chamber, three buildings of Skyhold's fortresses ago. Yet, he did not sense Tavaiya even now.

 

Curious. And worrying, for some part of Solas had been positive she would have been a lit beacon to his senses, casting no doubt upon the troubling interest he had in her. He had all but convinced himself that maybe she was closer related to his kind than she knew, perhaps her mother or grandmother had come upon one of his kind sleeping, or even a few generations back, infusing the bloodline and giving credence as to why such a brief lived mortal could captivate his interest so. Instead, that soul Solas had been entirely positive would put Tam's borrowed magic to shame did not even flicker into being...was as if she did not even..wait..

 

A ripple.

 

Slipping half into meditation Solas followed the pattern. Water with the faintest trail of fingers upon it's surface reflecting against the stones of Skyhold, a hidden trail he would not have noticed if the very nature of his interest in the rogue was not worryingly fond.

 

The ancient powers that permeated the foundation of Skyhold, crawling up towards the sky even now through the Fereldan built fortress, remnants of Solas's days as one of the feared Kings before they became Gods. That power curled around Tavaiya, cloaking her. Certainly if it had been any power that lay claim to what had once been _his_ stronghold, Solas would have never even found trace of Tavaiya within the grounds.

 

Solas felt icy claws around his spine and his breath stolen as more questions formed upon the realization. His hands clenched into the thick fur now laying forgotten upon his lap.

 

Skyhold _recognized_ the rogue.

 

It was hiding her as surely as himself.

()()()()()()()()

 

Tavaiya had never thought of a place as welcoming home before. Not truly. They always belonged to someone and she was but a transient visitor. Even Elan's homes were just that, safe houses and bolt holes of various types but none were home like. Not to her. When she'd slipped in through the gate, waved through by eagle eyed guards who did not feel a need to yell though it had been like that time in Solas's arms upon the mountain all over again. Skyhold kept it's form now, not slipping and rippling to her gaze but briefly as she placed her feet to the ground outside the stable -waved off by Blackwall and his stable hands- it was the most peculiar sensation. The ground seemed to spike up and grasp hold. If she hadn't known better Tavaiya would have said it paralyzed her and scoured her, increasingly gentle, but the burning in her chest had stung enough to bring tears to her eyes.

 

When it subsided though there was this odd security to it. Like her guard was down because it was okay for it to be so. She did not understand it, and it went entirely against all her rogue's instincts. That other sense though, was like a cat on nip at the moment and she had not the energy to force wariness. Instead, recalling the burn of her chest she decided Leliana could wait until after she spoke to the healer.

 

Solas had been exceptionally easy to find almost precisely where she had left him over a month ago. Asleep. Of course he was sleeping, she had arrived in the deepest time of the evening and he sought the fade more than waking on the best of days. Tavaiya stood there, silent in the shadows and just let her eyes trail over his lean form. The freckles upon his face, the slight softening of his features into something more regal and care free. It reminded her of the playfulness he showed in the Fade even if so many things she felt she knew when asleep pulled free of her grasp when her mind was awake once more. This? This was familiarity that Tavaiya knew had to come from that time line they had prevented. How many nights had the Tavaiya of that Red Lyrium future snuck inside Solas's cabin between missions just to gaze upon him? To see the rise and fall of his chest, the nearly motionless way he slept? Perhaps to slip under blankets beside him, trusting in their strange dance and games of easier moments stolen under snow laden branches on Haven's mountainside to keep her safe?

 

Inwardly, though awake, Tavaiya knew it had been whenever she had been able to. Knew that Solas in his dichotomy meant warmth and safety as much as honeywine and hoarfrost. That he held the answer to the burning she felt at times upon her skin, the strangest feeling that she had traded freedom before she had ever known it for shackles of her own choosing, immensely willing. That same instinct that had her let her guard down and beg to be kissed.

 

Even asleep, unaware, Tavaiya could admit now Solas was captivating. And, her mouth curved into a smile seeing the way he flinched ever so slightly at a breeze that faintly rustled papers from above, cold. The mage who bent ice to his whim did get cold it seemed, if only to reveal it when deepest in his dreams. In just a few silent steps she was beside Solas, and the thick cloak still smelling of horse and outdoors was pulled from her shoulders to drape over his frame. Unable to help herself she brushed her thumb over his cheek.

 

The urge to place her lips on his was stronger than she had expected, but that she would not steal. If she initiated the kiss she wanted him fully awake and aware, as much a party to this frightening sensation of vulnerability and exultation as if her heart had learned flight as she was.

 

_What are you doing to me, truthfully, Solas?_ Tavaiya left without another moment to weaken her resolve, instead leaving to go report to Leliana. It was going to be a long night.

()()()()()()()()()

 

 

 


	23. Wicked interlude

AN: Ahem. Yeah.  very short but you'll thank me for it later.

()()()()()()()()

 

Cassandra found her first when Leliana was finally done with Tavaiya. Wearied as she had yet to sleep, the Seeker would not accept anything less than pulling the yawning woman back to her own quarters.

 

“Rest here. We shall find you lodging later.”

 

“I can find a place to rest.” She tried to assure Cassandra who just snorted, half smiling.

 

“Of that I have no doubt, but likely it will be in an alcove or a closet nearly assuming you even allow us to know where it is you choose to hide in this fortress. You will still require moving at least a cot there so for now, sleep. I've spent many a night with Leliana over the years when she was determined to wring out every last eyelash I had seen upon someone and I know you need rest. At least you know my room is very well fortified.” And it was true, the Seeker had a room entirely defensible and while she enjoyed the forge especially for the added warmth in the cold reaches of Skyhold, her room was quiet. Many locks on a door too sturdy to break in, windows not where they would open for air and up high enough to be strategic. It was a good space, Tavaiya could see why Cassandra would have chosen it.

 

“Thank you, remind me though..to fill you in on my friend Shianni.”

 

“Good gossip?” Cassandra asked with a smile to her face, Tavaiya just chuckled as she shucked off her gear, trusting Cassandra's safety precautions enough to be down to just the shift she wore under everything and her small clothes. Then running the cloth from the scented basin of water over her exposed skin. She'd take a proper bath later, Cassandra had been most excited to tell Tavaiya they had actual bathing facilities there. Tavaiya was fairly certain it was just because Cassandra wanted to see how much the rogue would shock everyone there with her ink and piercings.

 

“Of a sweet nature, a love story I think you'll appreciate. One of these days I'm going to get the two of you in a room with each other, maybe even Josephine and Leliana..and we are going to empty several crates of wine and eat far too much.”

 

“I look forward to it. Pleasant dreams, Jackal.” Cassandra's tone went wry at the end as she saluted the elf, shutting the door firmly behind her.

 

“Good day, Seeker.” came the response before the click of the lock. It wouldn't really keep anyone out but it was still comforting to be able to utilize.

 

Her memories that Tavaiya dreamed off were the basic sort, idle, mending of clothes and practicing her stitches under her father's tutelage. Pleasant, easy to lose herself to as she slept.

()()()()()()()()()

 

When Tavaiya woke up she went wandering. Skyhold seemed to be alive beneath her bare toes as if calling her ever onward to find new places her hands could grasp as she climbed. It was childish, this playing of climbing up high and darting from beam to beam high above everyone unseen. It kept feeling as if just around the next corner was something special, something new to find. A bit more of a tingle to her fingers and toes that let Tavaiya feel her heartache at Elan's loss fade a little more to the back of her mind. By the time night was falling Tavaiya had Skyhold well mapped in her mind and went to see a certain mage that liked to stalk her dreams.

 

Her breath caught at the change to the sound of his magic. Haunting flutes had been added, as he sat draped in his chair. A desk before him piled high with tomes, mage lights floating around him. This was not the sight she had expected for there was a concentration to Solas's expression then that was anything _but_ humble. The fur cloak she had draped over his sleeping form was half on his shoulders, half spilling over the chair and with the shadows cast from his otherworldly reading lights he looked dangerous. Wicked. Tavaiya took a step inside and his steel gaze flew up to lock on her form.

 

She'd called him wolf to Shianni, but this was far more. This was a predator, a mage who did not wander but explored with purpose. And yet.

 

Tavaiya felt her lips curve into a smile as the hoarfrost smoothed out, slipping around them as if to help block out any unwanted attentions from above and it took everything in her power to not glance up and see if there was an actual shimmer of magic. “Good evening, healer.”

 

“Little trickster...you have returned.” Solas responded, recognizing their exchange and there was a sinful drip of honeywine from his tone as the man stood. Her cloak fell from his shoulders more regally than kings had ever worn their ermine robes. His arms clasped behind him, Solas moved towards her slowly, with that lingering gait of his. Not a sound made as he walked and Tavaiya could appreciate that.

 

“I promised I would.”

 

“You carefully did not promise -anything- if I recall.” Solas smirked down at her. “You do have a way of distracting, avoiding questions. Of being inconveniently absent..”

 

“Did you think me some green youth? I have been a rogue almost my entire life, Solas. Such things are in my nature.”

 

Solas regarded her quietly, before he pulled her fingers free of the glove she wore, pressing the back of her hand to his lips in greeting and Tavaiya could feel the smirk of his lips against her skin as her breath caught. “This is true. At times I forget that you have been doing this longer than most here. Though Sera is not so far apart in age and yet your skills are lifetimes apart.” Solas stated idly as he lowered her hand but did not release it again. Instead ever so slowly he began to run his thumb over the back of her wrist.

 

“And you have more knowledge from a single dream you wander in than many mages shall gather in a lifetime.” Tavaiya replied easily and her throat tightened at the spike of hoarfrost. The increase in the drums. She could not remember his magic being so very much the focus of all her senses before this. It had to be the time apart.

 

“I believe..little trickster..you promised me explanations.”

 

“In the fade.”

 

“For once, I find myself in the unique circumstance of wishing to hear such when entirely _awake_.”

 


	24. Chapter 24

Tavaiya found looking up into Solas's gaze the most enthralling task at the moment. The mage who spoke endlessly of the pleasure he found in exploring a realm of dreams where magic was thick and potent to the point he could reshape reality, was preferring to be awake to speak with her. Damn the man for being entirely too good at knowing how to make her thoughts stutter. “Not here.” She said and Solas hummed, tilting his head just slightly though his eyes never left her own gaze, unblinking.

 

“Perhaps not.” Solas smiled slowly, faintly. “Varric calls you 'secrets'. It is a name I am beginning to see applies much more fully than I would have believed upon our first meeting.” Solas turned, halfway and held out his arm for her. Ever the gentleman. “I've a study that is a bit more private.”

 

“And being out here means no one thinks to seek you elsewhere. I suspect no one is eve aware of this study of yours..are they?” Tavaiya agreed as her fingers slid slowly over his arm, tracing the muscles that corded beneath the surface as she did so just to watch the way his pupils contracted and the coil of hoarfrost at her back. It was nice to know at least she was not the only one affected.

 

Shianni had urged her to not run, to face this as surely as she did the darkest of areas with naught but her wits and knives. _I don't think any of this is as dangerous as the full attention Solas can bring to bear though. Were he here things would be far smoother.._ It was not her thought in the present and she paused, her vision swimming ever so slightly. She was aware of fingers under her jaw gently tilting her head up and the scent of Solas close against her. He'd led her into the other room it seemed for there was an unfamiliar ceiling greeting her gaze as it refocused.

 

“Another memory?” His voice was still enthralling but had lost some of the edge, enthusiastic curiosity winning over. It suited him far better.

 

“Maybe. More a feeling..a thought. Like my instinct knew something I hadn't learned yet.”

 

“Regarding me.” It was a question but not phrased as one and Tavaiya smirked up at him, grasping her cloak that hung near his waist to pull him closer.

 

“It seems too much of my attention is on you these days. Even my dreams seem to feature the sound of your voice.”

 

“Hmmmm..” Solas smirked down at her, hands going to brace against the wall. It was rather reminiscent of the scene he had viewed, standing just far enough away to observe Tavaiya pinned to the tree as he healed her. Only right now the only hands placed were hers in the cloak. No points of contact between their bodies as neither broke the stare. “You did say you were telling someone about my voice. That is what first came to mind? I am not certain if I should feel offended or not.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Generally..” Solas murmured as he lowered his face to her ear, still carefully not touching. “It is the appearance, or the skill set of a person that is spoken of if there is no rank to pay attention to.”

 

“In another world, Solas, titles or magic, even a change to your features..and I do believe your voice is what would have me speaking to you, begging as I did in that memory.”

 

“No Antivan for this confession?” Solas chuckled softly, but the trembling feather soft of the hoarfrost against her cheek betrayed him.

“Shouldn't you know that your voice is such an enticement? Especially knowing the brilliance you hide away, deflecting attention to other things?”

 

“Do I?” Solas teased, once more pulled back to lock his eyes to Tavaiya's. He was the first to change the game slightly, a single curl being pulled from where it had escaped the braid at her shoulder, winding it slowly around his fingers. “If so, it is merely something we have in common.”

 

“{Mm. I don't doubt that's why you refuse the attire Tam is always offering, or Vivienne..how much attention would you catch..}”

 

“I see you've lost the courtesy of speaking common to me.” Solas tried not to blink but her next words did get his ears to pinken.

 

“{Though sometimes I wonder if it's not best that currently I'm the only female in Skyhold who knows a glimpse of what you have under your robes. Temptation incarnate with your voice alone, no mage should also have skin that invites lips and teeth to leave a mark from collarbone to the junction of their hips.}” Tavaiya kept her tone as she normally would, rejoicing in the return to the game they knew and barely keeping her smirk the playful one. She'd caught the blush, the stutter of the sound of his magic and fraying of the hoarfrost. So he _had_ been learning Antivan, she thought she had dreamed that in a memory instead, sometimes she couldn't keep them straight. Oh the ways she could tease him now.

 

“~Tell me, Solas..~” She started and caught the sharpness of his gaze as it flew to her, his lips parting faintly in surprise and Tavaiya's grin turned utterly wicked. “~Did you know Antivan has more than a single language dialect? I see..perhaps..not..~”

 

“What is that?” He spoke and swallowed. Oh? It seemed that old Antivan, considered fairly obscure but you couldn't learn one without the other and get across the full intricacies. Had quite the impact upon the apostate. Though she actually guessed that one incorrectly.

 

“Old Antivan.” She answered and Solas frowned, before he grumbled.

 

“It is..interesting. Though I enjoy the way the other falls from your lips, that is a sinful pleasure to hear.” Solas was not lying, he had been entirely thrown that she knew yet another language, that she was so skilled at startling him but he found Antivan from the rogue's voice to be a temptation in and of itself. The words were not all known to him, indeed you didn't go learning what was apparently rather..impolite..words in those languages from spirits. Not easily.

 

“When you play fair.” Tavaiya teased him and Solas quirked a brow.

 

“Says the rogue.”

 

“You know our game Solas, I speak Antivan, you speak Elvhen, we tease each other and then walk away neither of us the winner but both smug and pleased, delightfully frustrated.”

 

“Oh, is that how this goes?” Solas actually chuckled and then he hummed, fingers once more tilting Tavaiya's jaw so she looked up at him. “We are out of sight in here, and none can hear us. So tell me..Tavaiya, what really was that concoction for that you downed so thoughtlessly when Haven was attacked?”

 

Solas felt he was on to something as the rogue went entirely still beneath him. A predatory instinct sensing danger. Not that of a prey beast for then there would be trembling, but wary. Ready to fight as much as flee and the cut to her gaze was strikingly enticing. A woman who ruined a man to save a queen, who brought down assassins and blackmailed smugglers, and then told him that his voice and mind were of greater appeal then the power of his magic and the way he looked. That dismissed the very idea of rank without addressing it even once seriously. Were he _only_ Solas the wandering apostate as he pretended this was her reaction. It actually made Solas wonder how the daring rogue almost pinned between the wall and his frame would react to knowing she was cornered by the infamous Dread Wolf?

 

“...I suppose..I do owe you that. Although I request you not share it with anyone, even the rest of the miscreants we fall into company with.”

 

“Surely it is not so dangerous?”

 

“Solas. Please.”

 

The seriousness of her tone made him pause. The pleading was new, and it left a faint foul taste to his mouth. There was no playfulness, no implication of that breathy whisper that could have turned her plea into an invite. Genuine entreaties usually had been in his history, followed by horrible things.

 

“I am listening.” He could promise nothing, not even for one who drew his attention so utterly that he still knew exactly where her hands were on the cloak. The heat of them near his skin felt almost as if it burned from the near contact.

 

Tavaiya closed her eyes and then sighed. “Elan hid his magic, I have always hidden that some more powerful magics I can sense as if a physical thing.” A half truth, twisted, but she could pass this off far safer than confessing the depth of her abilities. She watched as Solas frowned, went to dismiss her remark and paused. It was the first time she'd seen proof that in some way Solas also had the memories of the time that wasn't as his brow furrowed and he drew back slightly.

 

“I have the urge to accept that..and it does explain the...reaction..to healing.”

 

“Oh I've never reacted to healcraft as I do yours. No, loathe as I am to fan the flames of your ego, that reaction seems unique to you.” Tavaiya drawled and the smug smile that touched Solas's lips was all boyish mischief.

 

“I see...and this..concoction you had?”

 

“It blocks magic so to speak. Elan could still cast a few spells but he said it was like doing so with a hangover and holding ones breath. For a non mage it seems to keep the effects of the Fade from taking hold.”

 

“Which is why I could not heal you.” And the playfulness was gone, the serious gaze as he loomed over her, his voice pitching much lower. Threatening. “Do not take such a risk again, Tavaiya. You could have been lost.”

 

“I couldn't breathe around Corypheus and his dragon.” She confessed and saw the way Solas snarled, looking away. As if he had forgotten for a moment that where Tam had gone, she had followed. Into what should have killed them both. Nearly had. Indirectly his own fault though she had no idea.

 

“I see.”

 

“I was frozen in place just trying to think from them, they overwhelmed my senses. What I have glimpsed in my dreams of that other time, the red lyrium was excruciatingly painful.” She didn't tell him that she had taken it beforehand, taking more after. That she had overdosed on it, how deep her senses went and how much it could feel. She did not wish to lose her advantage in being able to read him after all.

 

“...that memory, it's why you were so damaged after.” Solas caught on, remembering the scene again. That they were almost mimicking in their pose, the whispering. “You could sense the red lyrium..”

 

“Like something clawing out the marrow of my bones.” Came her agreement.

 

Solas took in a deep breath before he let it out, nodding. “No wonder you didn't wish to sleep. To risk reliving that.”

 

“There were pleasant moments, as you saw a little of.”

 

“ _...Bésame..”_

“ _/ **only mine**./”_

 

“It is entirely unfair, considering, that I cannot pull up such memories.” Solas agreed. “Though it seems no one else recalls them directly anymore.”

 

“No?” Tavaiya frowned then. “I'm not certain if I should be jealous of them or not. For every pleasant dream I have had, they are vastly drowned out in the nightmarish ones.”

 

“Well if you slept deeply enough, I could assist.”

 

“Thank you. I have enjoyed that.”

 

There was a moment that they just stood there in silence, before Solas hummed. “So, you sensed something different about Skyhold? Or saw?..”

 

“That I think is best shared in the Fade where I can show you. I truly have no words to describe it's wonders.”

 

Tavaiya was distracted looking at how the cloak fell over his shoulder's and missed the pleased expression on Solas's face before she chuckled. “It suits you better.”

 

“Does it?” Solas drew a brow up, his head slightly tilted. “I had not thought it to your tastes, a bit more..ostentatious then I have observed on you.”

 

“Well it was a gift.”

 

“A gift.” And there was that warning tone to Solas's voice, as if he was aware she was only giving partial information to tease him. He shifted closer so as they breathed their chests nearly touched. “From whom, little trickster?”

 

“I did tell you what I've been up to in the Fade.”

 

“Ah, so a King's gift? He does seem a bit overly familiar if he is granting you clothing.” As Solas said that he seemed to reach a hand up, perhaps to remove the cloak but Tavaiya tugged on it, bringing him flush against her and delighting in the sound of surprise he made, the feel of his muscled form against her own. Distracting Solas from his interrogations that he meant to have was almost as enjoyable a game as teasing him in Antivan.

 

“The horse was from Alistair since he'd not part with any of his dogs, the cloak was from the Queen as thanks.”

 

“Why would you want a dog?” Solas shifted slightly, moving against her slightly with his eyes gleaming at the way she half closed her eyes as his hand fell away from the cloak to cup the side of her neck. Beneath his fingers the rapid flutter of her pulse was gratifying.

 

“To help keep watch. I did have someone waiting for me when I slept, didn't I?”

 

“Every night.” Solas admitted and then stilled, the air around them quiet. Once more they skirted close to something that would make them vulnerable and he drew back, verbally, as Tavaiya's hands were still in the cloak and as simply as he could break her hold he chose not to. “I should return it to you.”

 

“It suits you far better I believe. If you enjoy it, keep it. Something to keep you warm when you are exploring or dreaming without me.”

 

Solas looked into the face below him and couldn't fight the grin. Tavaiya had no idea how truly suggestive her words were to his ears, it was half of his struggle. For on one hand she seemed entirely aware of the magnanimous offers she made, and the other half slipped free without a filter. It was part of his temptation, responding without the constant reminder she was so young she simply had no knowledge of what she was mimicking.

 

“You know, little trickster, in most cultures such a gift would be considered an offer of courtship.”

 

“Hm. You've just _now_ remembered that I'm trying to court you, healer? I thought I made it plain back in the snow after Haven..”

()()()()()()()()()

 

Perhaps she had a different idea of what courting was, is all Tavaiya could think of when she saw how wide Solas's eyes went, the way his mouth parted in shock. Or perhaps he simply did not think she was serious. It was just as likely, but when he was dangerous he drew her attention without effort. When he was playful and almost boyishly mischievous it made Tavaiya not wish to leave his side. And when she could surprise him, for some reason it always felt a victory. Shianni had urged her not to be afraid, not to worry she was going to bumble into something in figuring out what she had with Solas, but this..she was able to sense his magic pulling back. Panicked, afraid. As if her stating it so blatantly made it a reality he could not convince himself was being misheard.

 

So a different distraction until he had time to think this all over. He did seem terribly prone to doubting himself when it came to her interest.

 

“I did have a question for you as a healer, if you don't hate me terribly for the change in topic?”

 

Visibly relieved, and Tavaiya tried not to let that thought sting, Solas nodded. “Yes, of course.”

 

It was only then Tavaiya realized she had no real way to explain the problem and growled. Apparently a sound Solas found interesting if the glance he sent her way was any indication, but she allowed her hands to fall from the cloak. “Since just before Haven was lost, and the breach closed I noticed there's almost a burning in my chest..though I am at a loss as it's not over the heart and I cannot recall being injured there.”

 

“Burning?” Solas frowned, back into his analytical mindset. “Have you noticed any marks?”

 

“No. Not that mind you I've much of a habit of staring at my form naked on a regular basis.” She drawled out and the utterly annoyed expression sent her way was defeated by the twitch of his lips as he visibly glanced over her best he could with their forms held close. “You're picturing me naked now, aren't you?”

 

“Generally what happens when phrased in such a way. And whilst I have learned you have three piercings now, I still don't know what your tattoo is.”

 

“There's more than three.”

 

Solas blinked, then nodded. “Ah, of course, your ears.”

 

“Still another.”

 

“Where could you possibly..?” Solas started before he clearly thought of something highly inappropriate judging by the way he cleared his throat and would not meet her eyes. It made Tavaiya smirk. He likely had it wrong but it was enjoyable to see him like this. “Right. You were describing a potential injury.”

 

A sudden clamor outside and the sound of arguing made them both look at each other. “I swear if that's another dragon..” Tavaiya started to grumble as she moved away from him, easy strides carrying her to the door and Solas snorted.

 

“Do not jinx us.” He paused then and grabbed her arm as her fingertips brushed the handle, pulling her back firmly against his chest once more and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “I do not take well to being toyed with, Jackal. If you meant it about courting..keep your hands and eyes from others.” Solas would give her a chance, a reason to fail and spare them both from letting this spiral out of control yet further. Even as he damned his heart for the tremulous hope it had that she meant it, it was not just another aspect to their game.

 

“When I've convinced you Solas, I'll know. Until then the only way you'll feel my lips is everywhere except on your own.” Tavaiya tilted her head back then to rest on his shoulder and used her best Antivan crow voice, the one she had practiced at length with Damian until he pronounced it sufficient enough to inflame the senses. “{Kiss me, when you believe that I've been so caught by your magic, your voice, that I cannot imagine anyone else. I've come back here more to you than anyone, when I could have ridden away. But I'm warning you, Solas, I'm willing to see where this goes and I do nothing partially. And once you and I have shared even a portion of what I see in my dreams, you'll be only mine as well.}”

 

Solas held the door open for her letting her be the first to step away as they went to see what the ruckus was, quiet silence held between them. Yet, he drew the cloak about him more fully under Tavaiya's gaze and inclined his head even as his pulse raced. He had attempted to save her from himself and instead the Jackal had drawn closer. His patience snapped, and no longer was Solas willing to just watch. The wolf had reared up under his skin, the memories of Fen'Harel drawn out by the rogue who had the tenacity and bravery to risk courting _him_. He had many attempt seduction, arrange an alliance, come for their own selfish needs and the rights to brag they had been in his company. Each had been used and discarded without thought and blurred together in a slew of memories he barely felt interest in thinking of. Yet, this quickling rogue saw only Solas, so diminished from whom and what he was, and dared to try and entice him for his heart without thinking there was anything more to gain.

 

With a sigh, Solas trailed his hand over the fur that rested against him now as he drew up the hood. At least part of it had been hers since redcliffe, lost in time, despite his denial. Every time he yielded and accepted that perhaps..he had convinced himself he must have been mistaken. It seemed she would no longer allow him to pretend otherwise, with it out so blatantly. Not just that he drew her interest but to such an extent he could not doubt her intentions. How like a predator to refuse to give up. It was only as they witnessed the farce of a man throwing..goats..at Skyhold and the hilarity that ensued of Tam and his advisers trying to talk sense into him that he realized once again he'd been distracted from fully interrogating Tavaiya. His own instincts were warning him as they had from the start that whatever he learned would change, everything.

 

He needed to get those memories, that it was possible, was evident. The method though he would need to ask for Wisdom's input. Because he would not wish to subject the rogue to the nightmarish horrors he had first invited her into his dreams to avoid.

 

“Nice cloak. Too bad it clashes with your attire.” Dorian interjected snidely. “Hobo apostate with regal barbarian...where did you get that thing from?” Dorian asked as he reached out to touch the hood loose around his shoulders, only for Solas to glare at him.

 

“If you wish to keep your fingers, I suggest you do not finish that action.”

 

“Oho? What has happened now?” Dorian leered and before Solas could think to spin this in a way that would avoid further issues, for certainly as involved as Tavaiya was with the members of the inner circle she would not desire interrogation on her relationships, or lack thereof.

 

“Oh I killed a few people targeting Fereldan's royals, they gave it to me and I thought it suited him. Do you like my courting gift, Dorian? Admittedly it's not the whole heads of my enemies thing that I know Tevinter was so fond of but..” Tavaiya asked calmly, her voice pitched exactly to carry just to their group.

 

The entire mess of companions turned to look from where she was standing a short ways away, dangling her legs over the wall of all things as if she couldn't possibly fall and looking entirely at ease, to Solas who for once, could think of nothing to say.

 

“You're courting him? Isn't it supposed to go the other way, Secrets?” Varric asked but the glow to his eyes betrayed the writers amusement. “Still nice joke, had even me believing it for a while. Went too far with the Tevinter part though.” And the topic was dropped after a few more laughs, the remarks resuming to what to do with the goats. Solas looked over, his gaze heated as he saw Tavaiya smirk at him.

 

Tell an unbelievable truth calmly enough, and no one would think anything of it. Waiting until he knew the focus was off of them he leaned over just slightly, hand on her elbow to help steady her and urge her back down off the wall edge. The woman was far too fond of taunting death. “/I'm tempted to pin you against the stone here, to see where you are more interested in being kissed or bitten../”

 

“Now, Solas..” Tavaiya whispered, her tone playful. “You're playing fair again.”

 

“Just remember little trickster, you are the one who increased the game. I will see you in the Fade.” He whispered just audible enough for her ears before slipping away back to his rotunda with a distinctly more predatory roll to his gait.

 

Tavaiya watched him go, leaning on the stone as Cassandra moved to join her. The boys all talking about throwing goats now as if it was a competition they'd come upon thanks to the Avaar.

 

“You meant it.” Cassandra stated calmly, this was Cass though, she had been there in Val Royeaux and beyond, knew Tavaiya's interest as it scared her had only grown in intensity.

 

“I think he intends to make me regret it.” She agreed and then chuckled, enjoying how warm the stone on this side of Skyhold felt thanks to the sun and shelter from the wind. “I look forward to it.”

 

“Are you certain? Josephine has expressed willingness to help you find a suitable match.”

 

Tavaiya furrowed her brows. “Wait. What?”

 

“It is..something she is looking into for everyone. Josephine has a very soft heart, surprisingly.” Cassandra kept her face blank as if not at all confessing in a round about way that she had spent a number of nights while Tavaiya was away sharing gossip with the Antivan ambassador.

 

“Mmhmm. Well, I was never interested in arranged matches.”

 

“Something tells me they'd be too wild for you.”

 

“Cassandra...” Tavaiya chuckled. “There is nothing _tame_ about where my eyes have fallen unless you consider how tidy he is.”

 

“I do not see it.”

 

“Well I don't get the whole chest hair appeal either but..”

 

“Spar with me.” The Seeker cut her off swiftly.

 

“Pfft may as well. Shadows know I'm not getting to work my frustrations off in any other way.”

 

 

It was rather worth it to see how red and aghast Cassandra looked at her words. Oh yes. She was meeting Shianni. 


	25. Mischief and Fade games

 

AN: Hey look. People. Remember them? Solas just wants to take over and beating him back to keep up the other characters being in this story is surprisingly hard. I am not fighting it much. Plot will resume. Later.

()()()()()()()()()()()

 

“Where exactly have you been anyways?” Cassandra asked lightly as they moved to the training area to let the rest figure out the mess with the goats. It was hardly the first time they'd spar in the evening, but as courtesy for those around them they would do so hand to hand. It wasn't as noisy or prone to gawking bystanders. Good practice for both as well and it took little time for them to get down to just tunic and breeches, both barefoot for this. Tavaiya took the offered hair pins that Cassandra had extras of in her belt pouch to constrain up her curls. Because against Tavaiya, Cass felt comfortable fighting _dirty_ and she was fantastic at it. Naturally picking up the tricks the rogue used against her had turned Cass into not only one to be feared when armed with her blade and shield, but positively vicious if unarmed. It made Leliana even offer a few tips and there had been a time or two she'd sparred with the Nightingale now that only helped flush out her crow training. The precision Cass had when fighting was also teaching Tavaiya where and how to remove flourishes to her movements.

 

“Denerim and back.”

 

“Took so long?”

 

“Things get messy when you involve the shadowy side of things.” Tavaiya said and then lifted a brow, her gaze quick around the visible parts of Skyhold. A question. Sighing Cassandra nodded. Yes, the Seeker was aware of the corruption even now in their fledgling inquisition. It was a painful truth. Even something so new, with the best of intentions, and Tam being a bleeding heart and clueless as could be? Some of the refugees were against them, many were spies or could be bought. You couldn't run background checks on everyone with much results either because names and descriptions could be highly generic.

 

“There was rumor..regarding your loyalties.”

 

Right then Tavaiya adored Cassandra even as she dodged what would have been a very painful blow to her side. Because Cassandra's warning was heartfelt, a question even as she didn't think Tavaiya capable of such duplicity.

 

“My loyalties, are to my friends. The breach is closed but that _thing_ that came for us at Haven is out there. At least until this is dealt with, my dear Seeker.”

 

“And after?”

 

“I'd never act to cause harm to those I care for.”

 

“Good.”

 

Tavaiya in the end, lost to Cassandra as she usually did considering that the woman was built so powerfully; but she took the new bruises with grace and smiled as she was pulled up back to her feet.

 

“Feeling better?” Cassandra asked with a flush to her cheeks remembering the raunchy comment of why it was the rogue needed a workout and Tavaiya just laughed.

 

“Yes. Want the wicked details later?”

 

“Oh, are you teasing him then?”

 

Tavaiya grinned and with her arm around Cassandra's shoulder as they started towards the Tavern to meet up with the others for food and drink she chuckled. “Cass, if I'm going to be frustrated, I'm going to make certain he's doubly so. Want me to teach you a few tricks for the male who shall not be mentioned?”

 

“You aren't going to make me watch you 'work' are you?”

 

“...can't.”

 

“...Can't?” And Cassandra had senses like a mabari on a blood trail when it came to some types of gossip. “He made you promise?”

 

“To prove I'm serious.”

 

“Which of you is the younger one again?” Came the statement so dryly that Tavaiya snorted in laughter. “I am serious. You are doing the pursuit? Is not it to be the other way around? Certainly in my experience when younger it was. Both the desired and not. Then there are in the books and all the tales..”

 

“Hm. There's an old saying. 'He chased her and chased and chased..until she caught him.' Perhaps it is reversed but...”

 

“No. No, I think not. I like that statement. I may even be following it myself.” Cassandra hummed then, both having slowed their steps to finish this talk before they were to be surrounded by the others. “You keep giving him space once you push his boundaries and then he moves forward that much further, not liking the distance, yes?” At Tavaiya's nod the Seeker chuckled. “Would it be unreasonable to say that from how you two looked at each other earlier, and the statement that you've given him a courting gift he was wearing and not letting Dorian touch, I think you caught his attentions long ago and now are just letting him think it was his idea?”

 

“Been reading Varric's books again Cass?” Tavaiya shook her head. “I am not quite so elegant in my execution. It took you and Shianni _both_ encouraging me to tighten my breast band and move on with it already and the way I feel I could just drown in his presence still sets off alarm bells. I've never been..more..with anyone.”

 

The Seeker looked at her, then grunted. Interesting. Maybe they had caught each other and were just going to take forever to figure it out. Hopefully not so long that she was going to lose the betting pool. At least Tavaiya had finally decided to go for this instead of being afraid, if such good came from meeting with this Shianni? Yes, Cassandra wished to meet her now.

 

“It is terrifying but enthralling. It may not last.” Cassandra's tone was one of remembering her own love in her youth with a mage. “The memories are no less sweet for being brief.”

 

“Don't you ever let someone say you don't have the most astounding advice, Seeker.”

 

Entering the tavern it was apparently a night for Wicked Grace, the perfect reintroduction for Tavaiya to catch up on everything that had been happening. She didn't play, laughing. “Just because I'm a rogue doesn't mean we're all good at cards! No, I'll just enjoy the commotion.” And she flopped down beside Varric, grinning at him. “Miss me?”

 

“Quite a bit Secrets.” Varric agreed and his eyes roamed past her to look at Cassandra. A familiarity was there, a knowing. It made Tavaiya tilt her head and when Varric realized he'd been caught he only raised a brow. Huh. Maybe there _was_ someone else who remembered in parts. She hadn't spent enough time with Varric, would need to remedy that.

 

“Vivienne was looking for you earlier.” Cullen provided as he opened another wine bottle and Tavaiya did not hide her groan. “Oh? That bad? Wait, it's her. Of course it is.”

 

“She's going to be wanting a favor if she's looking for me and that woman's favors come out of your skin in long, long, strips that sting for ages after.” Must be something regarding Orleisian politics. Just her luck she had been away long enough that Tavaiya _was_ out of the loop with her contacts. It was not a good situation to go into. “I'll deal with it later. Right now? I'm just going to drink too much and observe the foolery.”

 

The evening moved along in tales, drinks and teasing remarks everywhere. Tam was opening up a lot more to his circle, and they in turn with him and several times insisted everyone shift seats so they could talk to each other better. One time he all but fell into Cullen's lap doing so, and Cullen was notoriously losing attire as the night went on. At some point Tam had the 'great idea' that to spare their commander from ending up entirely bereft of his attire they could volunteer to remove something in his place.

 

Sera of course then turned the game into 'Truth or Dare' somehow despite the use of the cards still. It was an immediate descent into madness. The sight of Iron Bull pretending to be a chicken was almost as good as seeing Cassandra bright red as Varric indulged them upon his loss with a song. It was a very well done song if entirely and completely _filthy._ Tavaiya demanded he repeat it so she could start learning the lyrics, much to the booming laughter of Dorian who then insisted they could do better.

 

Boos and cat calls greeted Dorian as he and a ruddy faced Tam began trying to figure out how to rhyme penetration in as many was as possible, and Sera was shrieking that lick was a better choice. Iron Bull said it could be both, or more, and maybe they should all test out the sturdiness of the table.

 

Somehow it ended up with Josephine getting a truly evil expression when Sera leaned over to whisper, and this was now the result. Skinny dipping men and the girls back to juvenile behavior.

 

“No one is going to believe that we're doing this. Why are we doing this? Why did I agree to it..This is going to be anything but good for the inquisition..” Josephine was muttering as she shook her head, but her eyes were dancing and her lips spread wide in a smile.

 

“You can't tell me you've never done this! It's not like we've a river or lake nearby! Just the bathing pool. Not even much of a challenge for the dangly's! Sheeeeeesh fancy ruffles...” Sera exclaimed before giggling. “cold as tits out!”

 

“And the boys don't get to complain to us as it's far better than if Josie had cleaned them out and they had to do the walk of shame from the tavern.” Tavaiya said with a shrug even as she snickered. “Well they shouldn't be so gullible..Sera, you're on lookout.”

 

“Why me? I don't like the dangly bits.”

 

“Because if I go ten coppers says I end up with Tam's puppy eyes working on me and you're immune to the charms of naked men with muscles?” And she had promised to keep her eyes from straying.

 

“Stop makin sense, Jackal.”

 

“When you do, red.”

 

“Okay. We will wait here as pledged.” Cassandra sounded disgusted. No one was buying it for a moment. Josephine tittered.

 

“Indeed, there's crates empty along this wall to hide the items. Even better that they all left their weapons and armor in the Tavern under the care of Krem.”

 

“Yanno..we gotta do this shite more often.” Sera snickered and winked over at Tavaiya. “Let's go make Stealthy times!”

 

Muffling her own giggles Tavaiya followed Sera on silent bare feet, both taking off at a run only rogues could manage. At times they almost seemed to be dancing together as they leapt and twisted over the obstacles traversing from tavern to the bathing hall at the far end of Skyhold unseen. The rush in their blood was an innocent thing, playful. Skyhold seemed to urge Tavaiya on, as if taking part. Her feet always seemed to land in the best location and having this strange desire to push herself she sped up slightly, springing off the next stairway to leap from one wall to the next ledge. Barely did she keep the laugh from voicing but heard the quiet snicker before Sera copied her. “Take the lead!” Sera whispered, excited.

 

Glancing back with mischievous eyes the two exchanged feral grins and then it was on. Under the deepest of shadows and hidden from the eyes of the stars they played at being rogues without the pressure of danger, of death stalking them.

 

Older and younger rogue finally stopped and Tavaiya waved Sera on. It took but moments, and the hand signs flashing briefly from the window above. A bird's call, soft and sweet from Sera was the cue and then they were inside and out as fast as they could go with their arms laden down. Now they pushed themselves, still hiding the laughter and tearing off. Every bit of agility scuppered for the ability to run faster carrying their prizes. Finally they ended up back by Cassandra and Josephine who had the lids off and slammed in place, helping to cover it with other crates before the four women hurried back inside the Tavern, collapsing into fits of laughter in Sera's room.

 

“Oh man...no breeches..no shirts..no nothing but smalls...” Sera cackled.

 

“You didn't get the small clothes?” Josephine giggled, trying to look disappointed but she was too busy laughing.

 

“I'm not touching those. You seen where beardy sleeps? And who knows _what_ Dorian does to his..” Sera wrinkled her nose and they were off into laughter again.

 

“It'll be worth it when they finally emerge from 'skinny dipping' to find we stole their clothes.”

 

“Next time, they won't belittle betting against an Antivan who knows how to call in favors.” Josephine smirked in agreement.

 

“I can't believe we did that.” Cassandra was giggling and Sera looked over at her.

 

“You know Seeker..you n ruffles? You're all right. Good people.”

()()()()()()()()()

 

At some point Tavaiya begged off to go find a place to sleep. Not that she phrased it as such and fortunately the other women just assumed she had located a place during the day. She had, in a sense. It was a room fairly small and forgotten away from the others. She was actually convinced it had been an office or the like once, but a bedroll and candles made it work at least for the evening. She'd booby trapped the entrance of course, and once inside set about laying her protections out once more before digging through the packs she'd stashed here earlier. The book she still wanted to show Solas and Tam was set aside, but for the time she unwrapped the bit of onyx focus that had once been Elan's. She almost never took it out, but for now, turning the stone over in her hands she let out a heavy sigh.

 

The lightheartedness of earlier, the teasing. Elan's loss still ached, a gaping hole that would always be there. Like the loss of her mother, her father. Her first teacher. But slowly she was moving on. “You would have liked everyone, my brother. You'd have utterly ruined the world with all this but..” Blinking back the tears that she hadn't expected, Tavaiya was relieved to see they were not painful this time. More just a soft acknowledging of her loss.

 

Wrapping the focus back up she hid it once more and blew out the candle, not removing knives or gear. She was in a place that felt safe, urged her guard to be down. It didn't mean she wasn't going to be _cautious._

 

She didn't even remember falling asleep. One moment she was awake staring at the barely visible mosaics in the ceiling, the next Solas's arms were tight around her as he stepped behind where she stood in the Fade, drawing Tavaiya firmly to his chest. “Show me.” Came the teasing tone to his voice even as she trailed her fingers along his wrist.

 

“Show you?”

 

“Skyhold.”

 

The sound of his magic had almost a violin sensation, so taut was it, a bow across the strings. Eager. Hopeful.

 

With no idea if she would be giving Solas whatever he was anticipating so breathlessly Tavaiya tilted her head back slightly. At this point she knew the feeling of pulling up a memory, faint and transient before Solas would steady it for her, his skill in doing so making her wonder just how powerful he must be. Here they were in the Fade, she a non mage, pulling up only fragments of memories and he could make them real as if caught in that exact moment. It was a terrifying power. Tavaiya had no shame in admitting to herself she found it enticing.

 

Before them, Skyhold took shape as it was now. Then softly the shimmering overlay. The first spire came into view hovering so much higher than the current battlements and Solas's breath hitched by her ear. Doing her best to remember that moment, distracted as she was from the feeling of his form against hers, the rippling imagery changed again, this time what looked like the almost floating structure though it was gone too soon to tell what it had been to the eastern side.

 

“Incredible.”

 

For just a moment Tavaiya let herself enjoy the wonder in his tone. “It feels comforting. Skyhold.” She admitted, she'd already revealed powerful magic was sensed in a different way, and if Skyhold wasn't inundated with some of the oldest and most powerful of magics she'd paint herself blue. The flinch to her would be lover though, startled her.

 

“...tell me how it feels? What makes you say that.”

 

“Hm. Entice me?” Tavaiya teased because Solas's hands were shaking and she did not know the reason. His magic was all over the place confusing her. She wasn't able to even discern if he was elated or distraught at her revelations. The games they played though were familiar and she felt his muscles tighten at the return to them. Even footing.

 

“I'll show you it as it looked once, as I dream of it.”

 

The fade and his skills with it really was unfair, Tavaiya thought. Humming though she tugged on one of his hands at her waist until she freed it, bringing it to her lips to kiss the palm of his hand softly while she looked for words. Sometimes the descriptions in her thoughts weren't the best to explain to others.

 

“When first we came it was like iron, perhaps a velvet coverlet draped over it but steady and unwavering in strength. When I returned from my latest misadventures..” Solas chuckled behind her and his fingers started to relax as she placed the faintest of kisses and nibbles along them, absentmindedly. In response his other hand started to trail patterns over her stomach through the shirt she wore. “It felt like I was being examined almost. From inside, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant. More shocking, too much force to stand against?” A soft acknowledging sound came from Solas and so she continued. “Now it feels like it almost is alive or at least aware. Drawing me to different locations and I keep finding my guard down. It's..not a comforting thought.”

 

“Feeling safe bothers you?”

 

“There's never been such a thing as safe.” The words were out before she'd meant to and Solas sighed.

 

“What an exhausting way to choose to live..”

 

“It is why I am still alive, Solas.”

 

“I suppose. Can you not trust being here, in Skyhold? With the inquisition.” He added the last part it sounded almost like an afterthought and Tavaiya turned in his hold, looking up at him. After a pause he inclined his head, forehead touching hers gently. “Trust that I would keep you safe?”

 

Perhaps admitting that was a mistake but the hitch to her breath, the way she relaxed in his arms. It was not a lie either, for as long as they dwelled in Skyhold he would not let harm befall the inquisition that he could prevent. The dalish boy, Tam, was such an innocent soul but he _tried_ and so many never tried. Every one of the members of this sorry patchwork group was becoming real to him and dear, to the point he prayed that things would turn out. To spare them as much pain as possible.

 

Seeing Skyhold, even a hint of it as it should be, had been, forced the admittance of softer emotions from him. They would twist this again in a moment, turn back to the seductive games and humor and side step the delicate. Away from being so vulnerable as neither was ready for it. At least in that it seemed Solas was not alone. The terrifying depth of these emotions that seemed so sudden. He was still reeling form the very notion earlier that evening that Tavaiya wanted to court him.

 

Every time he'd started to convince himself this could be a moments infatuation, perhaps just being alone for too long and once he'd indulged he could step away. The rogue seemed to take immense delight in destroying his self made delusions. In the long run it would be cruel to them both if he continued. Solas was starting to realize however, that every time he tried to pull away she drew him back more intently than before. And he did _enjoy_ their games. Craved them and her company awake and in dreams. “I believe I promised to show you Skyhold as it was..” Solas finally said and smirked as Tavaiya blinked, dazed. She was not the only one who could adjust the tone of her voice to achieve certain...results...

 

“Now.” Solas turned, twisting so once more she was in front of him and pulled her back against his chest so she was facing ahead, less of a temptation that way. Sliding his hands under hers he chuckled. “Have you ever felt someone cast _through_ you?”

 

“You're going to make me regret telling you what your heal craft does to me aren't you?”

 

“ **Absolutely**.” Solas knew his expression was wicked right then as he let his magic out, contorting the fade to his memories of Skyhold. It was gratifying that she gasped at the sight even as her knees gave out in reaction from the heavy dose of healing magic he flooded her with. A return for her upping the game earlier. Helping to hold her up he chuckled. “That..Tavaiya..is truly Skyhold.”

 

From where they stood was one of the seemingly more humble buildings from Arlathan's heyday, yet still it hovered over the mountain proper. Curved spires etched in decorative swirls and lines that would break up the wind as it blew to create melodies. Soft echoing tones that would then reverberate in the mountainside. Solas had prized practical functionality that was then made beautiful, in contrast to many of those he had known. Skyhold was still a fortress back then for all it was his stronghold.

 

“Can we explore it?” There was a tone of such hushed wonder to Tavaiya then that Solas felt immense satisfaction. She saw what he had designed, created to be _his_ retreat and he knew it would be entirely dangerous to wander through it with her. To see her in the halls he had once been master of.

 

“Another night perhaps. Watch. The true majesty of it was as the stars moved..the moons above..watch the walls and spires. The designs will change depending on the angle of light..the sound shift where the winds blow.”

 

“I don't think I've ever seen anything so wonderful. It's a pity Skyhold is no longer like this..”

 

Solas felt a sudden need to hear her call it by the proper name. “Tarasyl'an Te'las. Say it for me.”

 

“I thought I couldn't pronounce Elvhen right without magic?”

 

“You could always say it with that Antivan accent of yours, I enjoy that.”

 

“Wicked man.”

 

“Oh?...” And Solas smirked. “Come, Tavaiya..humor me. Where the sky was held back, Tarasyl'an Te'las.”

 

“It's not going to sound right. Antivan rolls the r sounds and..” She paused then and Solas fought the urge to laugh at how distracted she had been. Just now noticing he had altered their garments when pulling the true form of Skyhold into view. “By the way, what am I wearing?”

 

“Fashion from the time.”

 

“...They created buildings of untold splendor and the women dressed like this?” Tavaiya asked as she shifted a little. “This dress looks awful.”

 

“It is less appealing than your, what did you call it in Val Royeaux..the crow's murder dress? But the fashion of what you are in now was considered far more enticing for what it hid.”

 

“Everything?” And Solas leaned forward, his lips trailing along the shell of her ear.

 

“Only in part. You see..it leaves a few areas bare for a reason, and the ..looseness..of the fabric is purposeful as well. Say Tarasyl'an Te'las for me and I'll explain.” He could feel the way she seemed to shift her weight from one foot to the other in his hold, considering, before she capitulated. There had been no mistaking the suggestive note to his voice after all, he truly did wish to explain this particular attire to her. Had been picturing her in it ever since he left her on the battlements. Planning for this moment, though that she had any actual vision of Skyhold had been an unexpected allure. He could almost believe this fantasy as back in the days of Elvhenan.

 

“Teara..”

 

“Tarasyl..” He corrected her and shifted a hand to grasp one of hers, bringing up her bared wrist. “Notice the loose sleeves are cinched just before your wrist?..Considered a very intimate location. They would not shake hands back then. Indeed..” Slowly he kissed her wrist, feeling the jump in her pulse even as he patiently dragged his teeth along it, laving her skin with his tongue after. A reminder of that first action so long ago by the campfire. It still made his blood heat. “That, back in the time of Skyhold's height would have been an invitation to ones bed.”

 

“Ah like when I first did so to you? And miss all this build up requiring cold baths and time sparring to ease the frustrations? You could have joined me and I wouldn't have refused. Thought you to be jesting most like, as we didn't seem to get along all the time but I did enjoy listening and watching you even then.” Tavaiya managed and Solas chuckled, smug at the revelation. He did not tell her of his own carefully hoarded daydreams and sometimes the ones he'd craft when alone, asleep, planning future encounters. Fantasies. Indulgences. There were _many_ he had forgotten he once had until that night thinking of how best to leave her _wanting_. It wouldn't do to have a young quickling best him at this game after all.

 

“ Tarasyl'an Te'las. Come now.”

 

“Tarasyn, no. Tarasyl'an?”

 

“Te'las.”

 

“ Tarasyl'an Te'las.” She finally managed and the lack of magic for an accent made it sound dead and cold, not with the life it should have. Taking a breath she repeated it with Antivan inflection and it was arousing.

 

“The shoulder is bared you see, because of the intimacy implied to let someone at your back, trusting them to be able to render you helpless in pinning your arms.” He lowered his head then, her back covered hiding any hint of her tattoo from him. Indeed the fashion of this dress was to hide the wearer in admittedly beautifully rendered fabrics and colors but had a high neck and the only areas bared were cut away at her shoulders, and from where it fell so freely to gather, billowing really, just at her hips where an ornate belt was. What Tavaiya didn't realize yet was the cut of the fabric on either side had a purpose. Memories of watching as that alternate version of himself had whispered elvhen into her shoulders he started to craft anew. “/You have no idea the danger you are in, in my dreams. In my utter control. I'll not betray that trust little trickster./”

 

“I know that one. The feel of it.” Tavaiya shivered as if cold, and Solas chuckled.

  
“Hm, and now who is it not playing fair?”

 

“You did put me in an ugly dress..”

 

“Oh? I quite like it.” Solas chuckled then, slowly biting down on her shoulder and knew she could feel his wicked smile at the noise she made. “/I did promise to see where you enjoyed being kissed and bitten, did I not?/”

 

“Why do you like this dress then, Solas?”

 

“Clever rogue.” He meant it, for she had not taken nearly as long as he had expected. Anticipating her finding a new way to challenge him Solas had been quite distracted from his studying of those shards for the past few hours. Crafting a way to startle her, turn his warning about how she had increased the game into reality. “As I said, it's what the dress is meant to hide..” Hands slipped inside the cut fabric hidden in how it overlapped then and trailed over her sides without any fabric obscuring them. From ribs to floor there were two giant slits in the fabric but it was draped just so as to hide it. Tavaiya had no idea until skin met skin.

 

Blunted nails and strong fingers dragged a path down her ribs to hips pulling a moan from Tavaiya. Her eyes shut and hands flew one to grab his shoulder, the other resting against the side of his neck as she arched, head leaning back to rest on his shoulder behind her. “Solas?”

 

“If the dress you chose was meant to entice, this is meant to conceal. All manners of interactions in the more..discrete..fashions. Assuming one is not vocal, of course.” A rich deep chuckle came then, felt by Tavaiya more than heard. “Though I _quite_ enjoy your sounds..”

 

Tavaiya shuddered, the movement of his magic was far more potent then the drinks she had earlier and the chill of his hoarfrost was settling into her skin with the comfort she had always associated with warmth before this mage. Well, she couldn't just let him dictate things.

 

“{You wish fair, Solas? Very well.. tell me then, about this 'Place where the Sky is Held Back?'}”

 

The sound that came from Solas in hearing her address Skyhold entirely in Antivan, not even bothering to use the Ancient Elvhen when she had a perfectly wonderful language with known effects on him was immensely gratifying. It had nothing on the way his hands trailed up under the fabric to cup the underside of her breasts, thumbs moving. Waiting. Asking permission in his way.

 

“If you only tease me Solas...” Came out the most dangerous tone Tavaiya had ever used on him, it was an actual threat and went straight to his blood.

 

“Making certain I am not asking more than you are ready for, Tavaiya.”

 

“Oh for..” the hand that had been at his shoulder moved to cover his own then and brought it directly over one of her breasts without shyness or hesitation. “I seem to recall you are rather fond of my piercings.”

 

It was the strangest thing, being jealous of memories he did not have.

 

“I have your permission then?” He chuckled and traced the metal under his hand, feeling her shiver in his grasp.

 

“To touch?”

 

“Only touch?”

 

“Why Solas, are you shy?” Came the taunt, even as she squirmed in his hold, hands not idle.

 

“/I'll show you shy little trickster.../” A sudden cry that was pulled from her as the hand she had not guided to her, though it had followed eagerly, sought out a much lower location.

 

“How did you know I didn't wear small clothes?” She laughed breathlessly and Solas curled his fingers.

 

“I didn't.” Came the growl, hungry as his lips sought out to mark her neck. It was certainly not helping matters on his end but he was delighting in finally having stolen words from Tavaiya as she moved beneath his fingers. No magic was being called this time, just the urge to know he was driving her senseless on his own merit. Her nails digging into the arm that was still toying with her piercings, and Solas looked forward to seeing them eventually, the other still clutching at the back of his head as made certain she would have a mark visible on her throat come morning.

 

Broken Antivan was being muttered and cried out, but it wouldn't be much of a game if he was..merciful, would it? Chuckling wickedly Solas withdrew his hands, and he did not mistake the exceptionally colorful tone of her words as he took a step away from her. Tavaiya whirled to face him, flushed, in disarray. It was temptation indeed not to step forward and join their bodies together, to not pull her into the abandoned rooms of Skyhold as it was and indulge in the fantasy of her there with him, when he was Fen'Harel. “Still dislike the dress?” He teased.

 

Tavaiya was not shy, not timid, and certainly not new to bed games for all she had avoided the actual intercourse. It was not the first time she'd been entirely worked up and her partner decided for whatever reason to stop things so taking a deep breath her blue eyes narrowed on Solas's smug expression. He did look _edible_ in the garments he wore. Multiple layers, pointless frippery with a large open robe, a teasing expanse of skin from neck to chest. Evidence of how he had enjoyed exploring her under the garment though was visible and Tavaiya could sense in the curl of his hoarfrost and the triumphant sound to his magic, even as the honeywine was now feeling as if it was drowning her. He was going to force her awake.

 

Like hell she was going to give him _that_ to be smug about. It took her no time to take advantage of the slight distance between them, still in reaching distance and drop to her knees so she was eye level with a specific part of him. Smirking up she timed her words, noticing the snap to his hoarfrost that would signify the act to wake her was in process. This was usually where he'd use some trite last words to win.

 

“{I did say my lips would not meet yours until you initiated a kiss, not that the rest of you wouldn't..}”

 

His eyes were wide, familiar with what she had intended..and he had no way to stop her waking up.

 

Tavaiya woke up and bit her hand, laughing.

 

Worth it.

 


	26. Chapter 26

AN: To make life easier this story is now to be updated every week on Wednesday's. Spacing them all out for better consistency. Warning of some naughtiness here.

()()()()()()()()()

 

Dust motes were dancing in the wan light of the library, obscuring Tavaiya's entrance as she moved quietly, entertained all morning for the trick she'd pulled when awakening from the Fade. The sight that greeted her in among the shelves of books certainly did not dampen that mischievous tone to her nature either. For Tam and Dorian were very close, whispering, and if she wasn't mistaken there was a softness to their eyes as they looked at each other that promised she had missed a few more things while away. Waiting a moment to listen to how their magics played together, if anything more beautifully than Tavaiya remembered, the rogue smirked.

 

“Morning gentlemen.” They jumped at her voice, clearing of throats and awkward adjusting of positions only serving to make them more guilty looking.

 

“Ah, Tavaiya. So good of you to join us this fine morning. Come to confess your adoration of my handsome self?” Dorian teased her, pretending he wasn't looking entirely put out that she interrupted.

 

“Actually I picked up a book while I was away, ancient elven, thought Tam and Solas may want a look at it.” she held the item aloft as proof, but it was all she could do not to smirk at him. Her eyes were likely giving her away though.

 

“You can show hahren, he'd know better than I what use it is. I'm afraid my ability to read the old tongue is still pretty terrible. He's working with me on my speaking it first.” Tam smiled at her. “We've a meeting later, er soon actually..they wanted to get it handled before lunch, all of us, Leliana and Josephine have some crazy mess about an invite I can't turn down and want to address us all.”

 

“What did you do?” Tavaiya asked calmly, it was stuff like this that reminded her of Elan, but she was good at taking it in stride.

 

“They only wanted me to pick a small group and I sort of shot that down. I believe they're trying to figure out the details and want to go over it with all of our input. Bet Vivienne will have a lot to say.”

 

“Doesn't she always?” Dorian sneered and Tavaiya found herself laughing. They were so discreetly trying to move her along that it was blatantly obvious. Adorable. Well, who was she to complain.

 

“I see. Well..since clearly my book and I aren't needed..” Tavaiya moved over and peeked down, seeing Solas at his desk. The man turned to look up a brow raised and just inclined his head. If he was flustered from that morning he wasn't giving it away.

 

“Mind company?”

 

“I can make some time.” Solas agreed casually and for some reason that he was so entirely composed made Tavaiya smirk. Oh, couldn't have _that._

 

“Let me know when you two are ready to head up to Leliana?” Tavaiya asked over her shoulder, and something in her expression warned them she was up to something as they were now paying more attention.

 

“Okay?..” Tam started.

 

“wonderful.” Tavaiya grinned at them and vaulted over the railing. She heard the choking sound of one of the boys startled and landed easily beside Solas's desk. The sight of him jumping in shock was priceless, she wasn't cruel enough to land on his actual belongings as some may be irreplaceable relics, but next to it? It had been easy adjusting her body to land softly, with barely a sound and little pain. Certainly not the highest point she'd fallen from and it was curiously like Skyhold had almost..seemed to cushion her fall. She did not wish to think on that anomaly because it was entirely too strange.

 

“Tavaiya.” Solas greeted calmly but there was a frown on his face. Whether from her most recent actions or those from hours ago she couldn't tell.

 

“Hello, Solas. Or what was it Tam called you? Hah-ren?”

 

The sudden scowl on his face was interesting as was the sharpness to his hoarfrost. “I would prefer you did not use that. It is a respectful term for ones elder..” And considering what they had been up to the evening before it was implied he was at least certainly not viewing her as a wayward child. The doubtlessly eavesdropping duo above though would think them arguing. Well, she just decided that Solas was in for far more trouble than she'd planned. This was going to be fun.

 

“Ah, very well then, I'll think of a good term for you.” She held out the book, and watched as Solas turned the tome over, thumbing through the pages. For all it was not that interesting he was still fully engrossed in it, always giving his full attention to whatever had caught his eye at the time, and did not notice her moving to almost at his side.

 

“It is indeed ancient, but a compilation of common field plants and herbs, nothing of particular value..”

 

“Humor me and read some of it?”

 

“Aloud?”

 

“That was the idea.”

 

“What benefit would it be? As I said it is an older work..”

 

“Solas.” And while her tone was casual she smirked, perching on the desk facing him and leaning over a little. He had been standing before his desk and this angle? Yes. This would work. “Humor me.” Before he could argue she licked her lips slowly, deliberately teasing and received a sigh for her work. The lingering gaze he was giving her though made it evident he quite remembered her remark from their last encounter. The offer he had accidentally cut off from happening. A warning not to spoil her fun because he may suffer from it more.

 

“Very well.” Setting the book down Solas hummed. “Elfroot..”

 

“Play _fair_ Solas.”

 

The turn of his head, ever so slightly tilting his brows down as the steel gray gaze sharpened. Caught the inflection. “/Elfroot is known to grow in a variety of locations../” Solas started again, eyes sweeping over the words. Tavaiya hummed in thanks and moved the hand closest to him to run her knuckles over his waist. Sitting as she was, facing Solas and off to the side her body blocked view of him. Her attire was more casual and her hair down only aiding in keeping anyone from the usual locations in the next levels up seeing down. Oh it could happen but not likely. Not that Solas seemed to be against the faint caress. His rich voice continued describing the plant, apparently an exhaustive and very dry text judging from the wryness to his expression. When Tavaiya was certain that even Dorian and Tam were no longer paying attention she smirked.

 

Solas stopped, startled as he felt the brush of fingertips along his skin, trailing over his waistband. He hadn't even felt the shift of her hand to under his sweater. Frowning he went to ask her what..

 

“Is that entry done?” Tavaiya's voice was so casual, so at odds with the look of utter mischief she was giving him and her fingers held perfectly still.

 

Inviting him to decide if they were to play a game. Curious as to how far she would go he broke his eyes away from hers, back over the words and continued. “/Royal elfroot on the other hand../”

 

“You know Solas..” Tavaiya said as she shifted slightly, to any observer as if she was trying to get a better look at the book, her face moving near enough she could whispering though for only his ears. “You really should learn to finish what you started..” It was a clear reference to the evening in the Fade. Heat spread through his body in the memory of her under his hands, dropping to her knees just before waking leaving him to open his eyes cursing. It had taken a long time to regain his composure and with just a few words she was destroying it.

 

Enticingly so.

 

He kept reading, having already come to the conclusion that any reaction was going to make her stop and those fingers were teasing around the front of his breeches now.

 

“I did warn you not to just tease me Solas.”

 

The threat she'd given last night was being echoed now, it had made him pull away earlier than he had meant to because he wanted to see what her retaliation would be then, desiring to see just how far she'd push. Still reading, he almost choked off a word as she stopped hinting at something else and instead felt her grasp him firmly. He couldn't prevent gripping at his desk, taking a deep breath in before he kept reading despite the sudden pounding of his blood in his ears.

 

“{Fortunately for you, I happen to prefer to _finish_ what I set my mind to. A pity you aren't wearing my cloak..}” Tavaiya gave a breathy laugh then as she could certainly feel how hearing her Antivan words had an effect on him. “{Just think Solas, if you were I could have easily slipped under that desk and no one would know..hidden under the gift I gave you..}” And what she'd have been level with. Just like the previous night. He hissed softly in response, refusing to move against her hand. The light and teasing strokes she was giving were almost more painful in the way they were not offering any relief from the burning of both her touch, the imagery, and the sound of her words.

 

“You certainly do play dirty.” He teased her, pleased with how controlled his voice sounded for all he kept it soft as hers.

 

“No, Solas, this is not dirty. Just think of if you hadn't left me to wake up so uncomfortable, I may be feeling far more generous. Keep reading. I suppose we may as well see if you can talk me to orgasm hm?”

 

“With this as my reading material?” Though he couldn't resist the mental image playing out in his head that she had just spawned. He may have to try that.

 

“You'll draw attention. Read.”

 

Solas cut his gaze to hers but she was smirking at him, a wicked sinful expression on her face that only grew as she felt his reaction to it. “I figured out from the dress you showed me..you _enjoy_ the rush of potentially being caught. So what better way than under the eyes and ears of so many? Hm Solas? As you said.. I do so enjoy the noises you make..but perhaps, discretion..or shall I stop as you did?”

 

Solas smirked back. He'd make her pay for this but the curling of her fingers, the pressure exactly as he needed it drew the softest of groans. Just before she moved her hand away he forced his attention back to the old codex and continued. He was never going to be able to look at elfroot the same.

 

Tavaiya smirked, thrilled at seeing him give in, yielding in this part of their games. He wasn't as discrete as he probably thought, moving when he disliked the rhythm her hand was setting but in the end he had no choice but to let her play with the most intimate part of his anatomy as she wanted and Tavaiya was enjoying feeling her way around his flesh. It was a pity she couldn't really look but exhibitionism had never been _her_ kink. She figured with Solas, and that he was taking more pauses as he read, tension in his jaw and clenched hands, the faintest of tremors to his body? He most assuredly enjoyed the risk of being caught. It probably said something about him.

 

Finally though she felt him release against her hands and was startled by the snap of hoarfrost and a strange snow like scent to the air before her hand slipped free of his garments. Lifting a brow she noticed that Solas's gaze was sharp and hungry as he watched her examine her entirely clean hand. “Really? A spell to remove evidence?”

 

“It has it's uses..” He agreed with a smirk that was entirely sinful.

 

“Pity.” Just to tease him further Tavaiya licked at her own palm, enjoying the way his eyes darkened. She could taste the hoarfrost. Hmmm. That was interesting.

 

“Tavaiya...” He started to growl at her and his hand moved to grab her wrist.

 

“Complaining?” She could feel the cheeky grin on her face and watched as Solas chuckled.

 

“Hardly.”

 

“Well what then...” Her own lips curved as his teeth nipped at her wrist. Turnabout perhaps? She certainly was more affected by toying with him in such a fashion than any other time she'd done such for another. Was nothing about this man anything but delightful?

 

“And had I been wearing that cloak?” He asked, breath soft against her skin.

 

“I would have made good on my teasing last night. At least one of us should.” A warning as much as an offer and suddenly Solas's eyes were on her neck. It was bared in her casual attire, just the leather pants and tunic she tended to live in. Not a blemish showed there and the frown to his gaze was rather gratifying.

 

“I forgot that would not transfer over..”

 

“Hey! Down there with the really boring book!” Tam called down and Tavaiya leaned back on the desk, bracing herself on her elbows and arching a little to look upwards ignoring the spike of hoarfrost or the glide of honeywine over her tongue as she teasingly 'offered' herself on his desk beside Solas looking entirely innocent of what she was doing. Tam certainly didn't catch on as he grinned down. “Yeah I don't want to read that from what I understood..anyways, time to go meet Leliana and the others!”

 

“Coming.” Tavaiya agreed as Tam's head disappeared once more. Glancing back at Solas her breath caught. Predatory and dangerous his eyes were trailing over her form and then slowly moved up to her own eyes.

 

“Later.” He said and offered out his hand to help her up from her perch. With an easy roll of muscles far stronger than he appeared Solas tugged her close, just for a moment they were pressed tightly against each other and Tavaiya could feel he was still quite affected. The very idea of what that sort of stamina meant made her shiver. “You seem to enjoying playing with fire, little trickster..”

 

“Some of us enjoy burning things even if we can't toss spells.”

 

Solas smirked and stepped away with the tilt of his head showing he was agreeing to her statement, Tavaiya laughing as she went to leave ahead of him. After a moments pause, Solas walked slowly across the room where the couch was to pull on the cloak that had been left there within reach if out of sight. At least it would help distract the eyes from how he was more disheveled than usual even as he fought laughter. It seemed once more she had surprised him. Really _that_ had not been what he was expecting. Nor was he complaining, instead Solas began the trek to the war room with a wolfish grin. She'd upped their game again and proven to not be too shy to risk getting caught in public. Oh, the options this gave.

()()()()()()()

 

“And so we need to accept this invitation to the winter palace, and the Empresses event. Due to the stubborn nature of the Inquisitor we are trying to figure out how best to get additional invites when the number of the party was quite specific. A few of you we can insist are either bodyguard or servants as much as we shall be going as advisers. If there are any additional assets, I implore you to share.” Josephine was finishing up, looking a little less put together, her hair a tiny bit out of place.

 

“Naturally, I still have my connections and an invite on my own. Of course I cannot take anyone as escort, considering my heart is well known to be given.” Vivienne's soft response came, as the enchantress lifted a brow, her elegant cheekbones softened slightly as she gave a catty smile. Always eager to remind them how lucky they were to have her assistance.

 

Tam and the advisers were clustered closest to the war table, Iron Bull, Dorian, and Vivienne to one side, Varric, Sera, Blackwall to another. Cole was hiding in the shade but not forgotten, it seemed as awkwardly stilted as it was that Tam had indeed become friends with him. Cassandra was always more an adviser in these situations than not. Tavaiya and Solas were at the edge of one part of the circle, completing it across from Tam and Josephine. Solas slightly back and apart from them all as usual.

 

“I suppose I will have to go as bodyguard. No one will believe anything else.” Bull offered, Blackwall nodded his agreement.

 

“Best way to keep from needing to over socialize as well. I'm no good at these affairs.”

 

“Pfft I'm just not goin as no servant!” Sera scowled. “Buncha noble toiters.”

 

Tam chuckled and nodded. “I wouldn't _dream_ of asking an elf to play servant, Sera. I was hoping you'd be part of my official group and help scare away any grasping hands.”

 

“That I can do Inky.”

 

“So the official party is what then?” Varric asked. “You, Bumblebee, Secrets, n Chuckles?”

 

“That was the idea.” Tam agreed and Tavaiya shook her head even as Vivienne laughed knowing why she was going to refuse.

 

“I'm afraid I cannot. I can offer my visible support of course, but half my contacts would dry up if I made it clear I _belonged_ to an organization instead of just making use of it.” Tavaiya said, her smile genuine as she saw Tam's bafflement. “I can get in, no worries there and certainly help but I have to attend things like this as the Jackal.”

 

Leliana sighed but did not argue it. She had not forgotten that Tavaiya had her own network. Varric nodded. “Likewise. I can pull a few strings to get an invite for myself. And I can bring the kid.”

 

“That leaves an opening for cole at least..Dorian you mind being a part of my group?” Tam asked and Tavaiya fought a laugh at the sudden shrill tone to the violins. The man may look bored but inwardly he was thrilled to be asked. All he did though was nod, looking at his nails.

 

“Cassandra is an advisory guest...who does that leave?”

 

“All accounted for. Tavaiya, originally we were hoping you could help distract Duke Gaspard...”

 

Tavaiya didn't even need to react because of the peals of laughter coming from Vivienne for her. “Oh, oh my dear girl. No! The duke has a liking for elfin ladies certainly but he has an immense distaste for being told no. Something I've heard a number of times the Jackal has ...insisted..on her point?” Vivienne asked with a cruel smirk, one suggesting she highly approved of Tavaiya's actions. The rogue bowed halfway, playfulness evident.

 

“As ever Madame, your information is flawless. I threatened to break his mask if he attempted to buy my services in such a manner again.”

 

Leliana, Josephine, and Vivienne's eyes all widened. The only others intimately familiar with the sheer importance of a mask in Orlesian culture. Her threat could have seen Tavaiya executed and Vivienne arched a brow.

 

“Yet here..you still stand.”

 

“I may have just ended his attempted assassination by a rival. Shame, he ruined a perfectly fine dress.”

 

“Squishy ones those.” Sera piped up and Tavaiya sent over a toothy grin.

 

“{You have training, and contacts amongst the crows and their feathered do you not?}” Josephine asked and Tavaiya nodded. Guessing this was something a little more secretive but not entirely. Waving her hand for emphasis Tavaiya offered.

 

“{Do you desire a list, lady Montilyet? We doubtless have connections in common.}”

 

“If not able to ...overtly, distract the duke.” Josephine switched back. “Would you be amenable to just taunting by staying out of reach and gathering information at the event?”

 

“The gleam from the blade? Mmm. How distracted are we talking?” Tavaiya asked as she crossed her arms. As if she needed a reminder, the pressure of elegant fingers was suddenly cupping her backside possessively without being witnessed by the others thanks to his cloak. Tavaiya wanted to look over at him, assure Solas if only in the single look that she had no intention of breaking his earlier insistence about keeping her hands and eyes to herself. He seemed one moment to match her game for game and the next doubt her sincerity.

 

“How well can you do?” Josephine asked. “I know you are feathered but..”

 

“My lady..” Tavaiya smirked wickedly and shifted her weight to one leg, slightly pressing back into Solas's hand in the motion. “Are you familiar with the work of Mora Tela?”

 

Delicate laughter came from the Antivan woman then. “Oh! You can commission from the Tela family? Truthfully?”

 

“My dress I wore to Madame De Fer's soiree was from her own hands. We have a contract.”

 

“What ranking?” No one else there understood what they were discussing, save for Cassandra but she had been filled in on much of it months ago back in Val Royeaux as Tavaiya had been getting ready. There were ranks of the dresses with ones Cassandra could some day commission without Tavaiya's aid when they had the time being a battle dress. She could fight in it but it would not be as elegant. There were feathered dresses which were just a step above, the one Tavaiya had worn was known as a 'Crows Murder' but there was also just Crows dress.

 

“She owes me a blood debt and it has been marked and dyed upon my skin.”

 

“..Oh..oh my..and you would?..”

 

“'Just look don't touch' can be my purpose, easily if the inquisition so desires.” Tavaiya agreed.

 

“Fantastic. I'll leave you to it then, I don't suppose you'd have it soon enough..?”

 

“I have a contact who keeps all them for me in Val Royeaux. Says I have no head for fashion even if I can wear it.”

 

“For the rest of us?” Sera asked an Tavaiya just laughed.

 

“You'll see Sera.”

 

“Okay away from the fact that apparently we're going to have Secrets wandering around in something that is going to make faces red and pants too tight in the empress's guests..” Varric interjected with a great deal of amusement. “We aren't all heading out at the same time are we?”

 

“No. And there will be official uniforms for those going who do not have..other..arrangements in attire. We'll go in waves, but at least we now know we can indeed get everyone inside. There's a few things we can do in the locations before all staying at the Duke's residence, for those of us who haven't any other locations of course...”

 

The planning continued but Tavaiya had no more input to make and was entirely distracted by the way Solas was running his hand over her lower back and rear, slowly, hiding the movements with the way his cloak was falling but there was such a thick coating of hoarfrost over her skin, and she felt aware of how that drumbeat of his power seemed to be altering the way her pulse beat as it had not in a time. At least it seemed he was willing to wait, to see. To trust her to keep her word.

 

“Hey secrets, come along and help me coordinate our contacts?” Varric asked and Tavaiya remembered during the game of wicked grace how he'd a tired knowing about him. That maybe he still had the memories as she did of that time that did not happen, just out of reach.

 

“Certainly.” And the touch against her was missed as she walked away, feeling the hoarfrost like a blizzard trying to pull her back towards Solas. Instead Tavaiya just looked over her shoulder and smiled. A raised brow, and mouthing 'later?' smoothed away the frown that the older elf had upon his features. Ever so slightly he inclined his head. Likely surprised she was not indulging in the wickedness of their games at the moment, but Tavaiya was content to know she'd once more pressed the advantage and would be willing to ease back now.

 

If Solas was ready for more, he would have to make the next move. Until then she'd just talk with him and let him wonder.

 

“So those you work with, ever run across the Carta?” Varric was saying and Tavaiya hummed, something so comforting about talking work with another rogue that made her remember their first days together. When fighting rift spawn and using innuendo and sign language to get comfortable. She needed to remember not to let that friendship languish.

 

“Doesn't everyone, even if they don't realize it?”

 

“True enough.”

()()()()()()()

 

They spend the afternoon talking. At first it's fairly light hearted out on the battlements as they trade tales and sign away at the same time. Comparisons of whom they know, what mess this is going to cause. Filling each other in on the utter disaster that is Fereldan and what news he has of Kirkwall and the Marches. It's as if they had never ceased talking and spending that time together, before the lure of Solas and his attention stole her away most the time. Nor is it something he is unaware of she is certain. At some point, back in his room in the tavern Varric has cracked open a bottle of that stupid cherry flavored brandy it turns out he's quite fond of and they're savoring it in small glasses as the news that is certainly not to be overheard gets shared. It's a lull in the conversation, she's filled him in on the smuggling of lyrium and opium and that other drug that pretty much all of Thedas has agreed is banned while in Denerim.

 

“The way you two look at each other. It's..familiar.”

 

“You remember.”

 

Varric breathes out and shakes his head. His shoulder's slump. “Maker's breath, Secrets..no one else does.”

 

“Sometimes. But only clearly when asleep.”

 

“Yeah?” And it's a plea, the sound is almost broken coming from Varric and Tavaiya understands that feeling because how often has it frustrated her that she was the only one who seemed to be remembering? That it is only while asleep that the memories tease to the surface. Sometimes terrifying.

 

“I never dreamed 'right'. Always revisited memories. So when that mess happened..”

 

“But it's not clear is it? Just bits here and there? Makes more sense when asleep?” At Tavaiya's nod Varric throws back his shot and pours another. “Nug shit. Yeah. Dwarves aren't meant to dream. So I think that having them made a much bigger impression on me. I wrote them down, edited of course for Leliana's reports and then I made others. Working on a story for it. Chaste. Romance. Fluff and nonsense and..”

 

“Real.”

 

“So we're gonna do that? Share what we know and it never leaves this room?”

 

Dwarf and elf share a wry smile because all this is is the lancing of a wound, it's not the softer gentler memories they will bring up. No, they're going to share the world going to hell and burning around them because it makes sense when Corypheus is still out there and for Andraste's sake the Inquisition is going to go and play nice with the court under the Empress and this is going to go so friggen badly.

 

“Two fuck ups and a pleasant?”

 

“Yeah. I'll start...”

 

In halting and awkward conversation they share. Sometimes the memories are elusive and Varric has brought out his notes, reading between the lines and code for his own use and that helps Tavaiya piece together a better idea of what she doesn't remember remembering. The disaster with the Templars, the mess that was caused with the lyrium. His time with Cassandra is spoken of softly. When Tavaiya assures him she remembers that he gives her a funny look.

 

“You started that betting pool on if we're going to end up together, didn't you Secrets?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“...thanks.”

 

“You have one on me don't you?”

 

“Have for a long time. I see the way you look at chuckles, and he watches you. You're both utterly terrified of making a move and hide it in other actions but it's subtle. It's why I played along with distracting the others when you mentioned a courtship gift.”

 

“When the time comes I'll do the same for you.”

 

“When?”

 

“I have no doubt if you keep trying, that you will get through to Cass. Your sniping and bickering is much like my games with Solas.”

 

“Yeah but tell me this, you kissed him yet?”

 

“No.”

 

“Anything else?”

 

“You ever sleep with Cass in the other time? I was never certain if that was just a rumor..”

 

“Right, off limits. So. Don't tell anyone in case Tam isn't ready to act on it but Hawke's coming soon, has a lead.”

 

“We're doomed?”

 

“Secrets, we've been doomed since the damned conclave exploded. We're just trying to know what we are jumping in to at this point. So how crazy is this dress anyways? I rather liked the last one..”

 

“I won't be able to top it I don't think. Oh, and get Cassandra something silver. A bracelet maybe.”

 

“Why would I...no. Really?” Varric grinned suddenly. “You're putting her in a dress.”

 

“One she can fight in. She doesn't know it yet.”

 

“Right. Any chance you know her favorite flower?”

 

“Andraste's grace. One of the things she and Leliana bonded over.”

 

Varric was grinning then, memories of suffering under red lyrium and the way he'd flinched hearing Tavaiya remembered dying forgotten in the alluring idea of Cassandra dressed up for the coming event.

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

AN: Was going to have this up yesterday but had extra work shifts. A shorter chapter but I hope you all enjoy the fluff. Also Solas POV because it's been a while.

()()()()()()()()()()

 

One of the better things for Solas about being party to the inquisition was the plethora of tomes available to him. Admittedly much of the lore or work was wrong, rife with spelling errors and wretched hand writing but it was no worse than to receive oral tales from those who did not focus on the same items of interest as you did. Certainly nothing that he was going to lament over having access too. The collection of the written words was one of the few positive changes that had occurred with this shattered world he found himself awakened to. Books had been a rarity for the simple fact that if one wished to learn of something they called a spirit or found someone who had lived through the event and spoke over it for a decade or more.

 

There had been no games that evening in the Fade, having needed to check in with a few of his spirit friends and not wishing to see if Tavaiya was truly as tolerant as she seemed to be. Not yet. Nor had he seen the rogue save for in glimpses. Out sparring with Cassandra as had been their ritual since Haven, and apparently spending most the rest of the day with her head bent low with Master Tethras their voices far too soft to pick up, according to one of his informants amongst the household staff. The utter entrenchment of corruption already spread through this fledgling organization was expected if a disappointment. Useful as it could be however, Solas spared little concern over utilizing it for his own benefits. If he just happened to be keeping track of his little rogue, any hesitation over his behavior was swiftly assuaged every time his hand brushed over the fur cloak he now left draped over his chair.

 

Nor did it cease to make him shake his head, a slight smile pulling over his lips at the idea a little quickling was courting him. Had been for a time in truth and only making it clearer as he tried to step into denial.

 

She must have an agent among the staff as well however, because he knew no one had crossed over the glyphs warding his rotunda that wasn't supposed to for cleaning or dropping off his meals. Yet, there, innocently perched on the top of his desk that morning had been a single sprig of elfroot.

 

Teasing little trickster.

 

Despite having relocated from Haven, Solas found he was still often the source of supplying all the necessary potions and poultices. Whatever the alchemist had been getting up to since generally was focused more on their weapons and the various substances the rogues liked to use in battle. Considering the strangest dwarf who wanted to know _everything_ about magic had also joined them as of late, perhaps it was best the alchemist was the one there for her to pester. Solas certainly had no interest in attempting to explain such things.

 

He also was regularly working with Tam on his grasp of the Elvhen language and lore. A far cry from a stubborn Dalish who had no interest in being told what he knew was wrong, and with fleeting glimpses of the memories when Solas had been mentor to other younglings. Though they were always in their third century at least to ensure they had the focus, he tried, desperately, not to remember how swiftly all their lives would be up.

 

Setting aside the books he had been reading earlier to make room for the potions equipment, Solas paused as he looked at the slim tome on Rivaini and their customs. It had been far too brief but an enjoyable read, and for a moment Solas wondered if perhaps, Tavaiya may enjoy it? Crossing the rotunda Solas set the small worn book on his couch and then returned to his business. The fact that his eyes were drawn to the item as often as the small sprig of elfroot kept in the drawer of his desk and not used in the healing items, almost as often as he found himself running his fingers over the cloak, was not something Solas was unaware of. Perhaps a trifle embarrassing, but no more than that.

 

Around an hour after dinner the distraction of his thoughts solidified, slipping through the door and judging from the wayward strands escaping the bun her hair was in, had likely been still talking with Varric or in Antivan with Josephine once more, planning whatever she was up to for their forray back into the Orlesian nonsense.

 

“Good evening, healer.” Came her teasing voice and something inside of Solas he actually felt..for lack of a better word, settle. Calming as if for just a little while the waking world was once again more real to him. It was hardly an unpleasant sensation. The faint alteration of his heartbeat perhaps inevitable at the familiar address since that first evening when they'd caught each other's attention.

 

“Little Trickster.” Solas teased back, not even attempting to hide his faint smile or that he was smug in her inability to stay away for a full day when they were in the same location. “And for what reason do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

 

“No games this time, I just felt like being near. If it is too much of a bother..?”

 

Again his heart warmed and he shook his head from where he had taken up a seat upon his couch. “Hardly. I am not going to complain when a lovely woman seeks me out.” The book he'd set aside for her was still there and he held it up, not even a faint stretch of his hand needed to grasp it. “I did find something you may consider of interest, earlier.”

 

“Oh?” Her youth was suddenly a reminder as her eyes lit up, roaming the form of the book with a covetousness that was bordering on the obscene and she practically stalked over. It seemed much of her mannerisms were simply an inborn part of her, ones that she fought not to display in the usual settings. She had remarked about her guard being down in Skyhold, and Solas was certain he saw her even more unguarded than any other. The rogue did not ask permission, of course not, as she perched beside him on the couch, running her fingers over the worn leather binding before cracking it open.

 

Not another word was said and Solas felt himself relaxing back into the cushions, content to read in silence broken only from the turning of pages and soft breaths at his side. Well over an hour later the candles were low and Solas flickered his fingers absentmindedly to summon the warm glow of magical lighting to hover in tiny orbs around the area. So engrossed in her own book that she didn't notice, Tavaiya still made a soft humming sound in response and a sideways look over showed that from where his arm was draping, the ribbon holding her curls back was almost in reach. Indulging in the fit of foolery Solas tugged on it and smirked seeing the raucous curls freed in their half frizzy abandon.

 

“Solas?”

 

“I like your hair down.” He teased, more comforted by the time they'd spent together than even when either had their hands placed in more physically indulgent locations. There was an emotional intimacy right then that Solas found himself just as starved for as the comfort of touch. Tavaiya's soft laugh and then leaning back faintly, just enough that his fingers could twine in the coarser strands as he desired was answer enough.

 

“I look like I've been on the receiving end of a lightning spell, but I suppose there's no telling what draws us in, is there?”

 

“Hm, and what does, draw you in little Trickster? You've claimed my voice before..”

 

There was a long pause, where her eyes went distant, honestly measuring her answers before she looked back, shrugging. “I don't know. Every time there' something more and it seems I'll always be wondering, but that I am is enough for me.” She did not ask him to repeat the favor and he was grateful for it. Not to need to voice his growing need for her company as the world often felt more hollow without her. Solas had no desire to let such a weakness against him be known.

 

Her words were simple but honest, and with a faint tug on her curls Solas leaned over, kissing the ones coiled around his fingers gently in plain view of her curious gaze while his other hand pocketed the ribbon.

 

“Your company is enjoyed, even if just to read together in silence.”

 

He would need to find more books it seemed.

 

 

 

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

 

“And for another thing, the colors just _clash!_ We cannot have the Inquisition looking like so many ragamuffins! Since no one seems willing to let me guide them in their daily appearance however, I am putting my heel down on this. Josephine my pet, whom on Thedas convinced you to let this designer come up with the uniforms? No, don't tell me, someone whom in being seen in their garish little creations will give great clout and aid to our organization?” Vivienne was whirling around, perfectly manicured nails flashing in the light from where the metallic varnish gleamed. Each step punctuated with tiny motions and if one had never been aware that the Madame de Fer was once the highest ranking mage regardless of gender or birth in Orlais, well she certainly made it evident.

 

All that had happened was Tavaiya sneaking around in Josephine's office, for a good reason. Well one, she was a rogue and they just did that sort of thing, and two she had been leafing through a list of names to see if she had any dirt the lady should know of that did not relate to the coming ball in barely a month. The sketches of the hideous red and tan livery had been out and slipping them free had been simplicity in itself. Making her way silent on elf wrapped feet to where Vivienne stayed -and Tavaiya had express permission to always join her- saw the elfin rogue suffering through tea and cakes and gossip before the perfect time to slide over the sketches.

 

Vivienne had gone so utterly still before the crack as her magic was pulled in tight, the steel in her powers rigid and lethal. It had stolen Tavaiya's breath away even as she grinned knowingly under the dark glare of the powerful dark beauty across the way. The jackal pointing out the intruder sneaking into the serpent's den and laughing madly as the serpent coiled up. With a stiff back and not a word the Madame had set her cup down, dabbed at her lips with her napkin before she stood and adjusted her horned hat. A sweeping hand motion to indicate that the rogue was to follow, and then they were off along the stones, clacking heels and unshod feet.

 

Childishly, Tavaiya had followed behind and humming as the lady had stalked the corridors. Sera had joined her and wide eyed caught on. “Are you..giving her an entrance!?” She'd whispered in loud giggles. At Tavaiya's cheeky wink Sera had snorted before joining in. A backward's glance with a raised eyebrow, and that she did not tell the two elves following her humming a rather...saucy sounding and fitting song, meant she was highly entertained.

 

Little by little the whole group had ended up in the war room where Vivienne had burst in and started on the attire, Tam sneaking over to sit on the ledge Sera and Tavaiya had claimed. “So, do I want to ask?”

 

“You would have wanted to burn it.”

 

“Positive?” Tam asked and tilted his head. “I mean, someone came up with this uniform and with how soft it is..”

 

Tavaiya grinned at her friend, no one had bothered to explain to Tam what he was wearing was essentially meant to be evening orleisian underclothes. If the elf wanted to wear it as his daily attire because it was soft and moved with him, then so be it. Those savvy to fashion thought it was a becoming statement and a most daring one on the part of the Dalish.

 

“Quite certain, Tam. For one it was red and I seem to recall your sharing that Dorian gave quite the rant on why you should never wear the shade?”   
  


“Well, something about my eyes as stones and contrast..I wasn't paying much attention.” He confessed which made Sera snort.

 

“Yeah probably too busy thinking of what you'd like to do to him eh quizzy?”

 

“Maybe.” And the three smirked, every bit mischief. “By the way..” But whatever Tam was about to ask was interrupted as Josephine finally threw her hands up.

 

“Fine! Oh for..Tavaiya, can your contact have something made up in time? Even if it is just altering something they already have?” Josephine asked her eyes pleading. She knew that approaching an Antivan fashion house would be expensive on this short notice but any good organization of the underworld had fingers everywhere. They wouldn't be going straight to Antiva. No, the one who she needed to contact was Damian. There were ways things were done after all, and it would cost not just coin but favors which meant Josephine was offering to pay her very well for the trouble.

 

“Maybe. I need to leave for Val Royeaux and speak in person.” She inclined her head as she stood, walking with that easy prowl that betrayed her already in working mode. Josephine nodded, switching to Antivan.

 

“{I am dreadfully sorry to put you in such a position, you have the freedom to bargain as necessary with the coin. I'm certain when you went through the desk you saw what the budget was? Yes. They need not come here first we can send messenger birds with measurements and have them delivered for when we stay.}”

 

“{It is very likely they will not all be matching, and you know this will mean the Inquisition will have made a clear alignment to the crows, if only in the eyes of Antiva.}” Tavaiya raised a brow. Was Josephine ready to deal with the coming connections and all the intrigue that until now the fledgling group had been ignored over? The crows would be entirely comfortable asking for haven and aid as much as likely sending over spies. It would be a lot of work for Josephine. “{Would not finding another option be better?}” Why was Josephine really wanting to start this?

 

Josephine cleared her throat. “{There's some...complex matters. Leliana and I are expecting trouble.}”

 

Tavaiya sighed. They needed her to take someone out in Val Royeaux then, someone very high profile and Leliana was winning some of the negotiation talks if Josephine was considering hiring crows on a regular basis. Corrupted organization Cassandra had warned her, there were allies they must no longer be trusting and eliminating those poisoning the Inquisition for their own interests. Complicated and messy, yes, better to have professionals not associated with the group doing the work.

 

“{All right. When do I leave?}”

 

“{Immediately. Yesterday would have been best.}”

 

With a nod Tavaiya left the room not looking back, she needed to get her supplies and tell Solas in person. As this was to be a fast trip, she'd probably only spend the night if need be and stop only long enough to rest her horse, Tavaiya was taking only the essentials. Her gear was newly upgraded courtesy of Leliana as an apology for how the last one went and in her chosen mottling of darker leathers that worked as camouflage. Though she'd wear a cloak and her hip and weapons belts she left them off for the time, grinning. She'd noticed Solas had a fondness for her backside when she wore leather, she'd at least let him have a good view as apology for leaving so soon. And that she wouldn't be sleeping deeply enough to dream. He was not in the Rotunda when she arrived, instead in his study scowling and muttering in Elvhen. Though he glanced up when the door opened there had just been a nod of his head before he resumed scribbling frantically. Clearly he didn't wish to lose his train of thought. Keeping her fingers to herself she quietly paced along the book shelves, curious as to what he had in there. Though it was her nature to pry she had not entered his study when Solas wasn't present, respecting that he had even let her know it existed. Perhaps that was why he hadn't fogged her senses magically as it must do to have no one else aware there was any location save his room or the Rotunda that one could even find Solas in.

 

The faintest sound of cloth gave away Solas moving towards her but she kept facing away, it was always best to be underestimated in your abilities to detect someone, even if you were courting them. So she did not jump when Solas tugged lightly on her braid and snaked an arm around her ribs, pulling her close.

 

“I like it better down.” He muttered before breathing in, the curls of hoarfrost settling into less aggressive sensations as he actually smelled her hair. It made Tavaiya laugh.

 

“Are you sniffing me like a dog?” She teased and felt him chuckle against her back.

 

“Hm. Perhaps. I do enjoy that you don't cover yourself in perfumes.”

 

“That'd give me away.” Tavaiya leaned into him. “..They're sending me out. It'll be quick, Val Royeaux and back as fast as I can ride.”

 

“You won't be dreaming.” He caught on and for just a moment there was an actual growling sound from him before Tavaiya found herself pressed with her back against the books, Solas resting a hand on either side of her shoulder's as he looked at her quietly, eyes intense. The way his silver gaze moved over her face slowly as if he was memorizing her features.

 

“I'll return.”

 

“You cannot promise that.”

 

“Should anyone even try to stop me, I'll obliterate any trace of them.” She promised darkly and the answering smirk on Solas's lips as he nodded his head was gratifying.

 

“Remember you promised.” To return, to keep her hands and eyes to herself.

 

“Dream of me.” Tavaiya teased him and Solas stiffened, his cheeks turning pink.

 

“You have no idea what you're saying.”

 

“No? You can craft your dreams to your liking can't you? So do so. Plot, scheme, you do still owe me..”

 

Realization settled in after a moment, the reminder of when he was reading aloud as she teased him where anyone could have seen if they looked. “The elf root.” He agreed with a brow raised and still faintly blushing. “If you have time...”

 

The way Tavaiya groaned regretfully and leaned her head back, knowing that any delay could add days onto her journey did make Solas laugh loudly.

 

“Well, then perhaps you'll find a night or two to sleep fully enough I can show you what you're missing.”

 

“I've memories.” She reminded him before opening one eye slightly, just enough to catch the slight scowl at the reminder that she had memories of a time he did not. There was something so jealous in his gaze then that made Tavaiya rush to soothe him. After all, many of those memories as enthralling as they were in bits and pieces she had recalled upon waking were drowned still in fear and impending concerns. “You put yourself to shame this time around.”

 

A fond look entered Solas's gaze then before he leaned down, his lips softly trailing from her ear to her neck making Tavaiya sigh in pleasure and tilt her head. Her hands sought out his waist even as Solas slipped his hands down to run over her backside. “I like these pants.” He mumbled against her skin making the rogue laugh.

 

“I wore them without the gear because I noticed where your gaze falls.”

 

His laughter felt wonderful as he kissed her neck once more, gently nipping at the bared flesh. “Perhaps then, Tavaiya, you should cease walking away from me?”

 

Her breath caught at the potential other meaning in his words and Solas paused, before pulling back again, their foreheads resting against each other. “It is peculiar, how often I say things I do not mean to voice aloud around you. I can only theorize that it is lingering effects of those memories I cannot grasp from the other time as I have seen your own face when you say things you had clearly intended to keep a secret.” He was not taking the words back, but nor was he ratifying them more than she could read into. As a response Tavaiya reached up, thumbs caressing his cheekbones and smiled softly.

 

“I may walk away but I always come back, encanto.”

 

“Oh?” He grinned, boyishly charming and his eyes alight at the new Antivan term, which made her laugh.

 

“Seek it out in the fade, or wait for me.”

 

“Go. Before I don't let you.” Solas turned then and visibly was holding himself back. There was something about the rigid control, that he so clearly did not wish her to leave that had Tavaiya leaning against the books and tilting her head, quick fingers loosening her gear enough to pull free the part closer to the junction of her shoulder and smile invitingly, teasingly.

 

“Give me a reminder?” She didn't know if he would take her up on it, but the memory of his teeth and lips working there upon her in the Fade, not that there had been any proof of it when she awakened, made her suspect he was the sort who enjoyed leaving visible marks of affection upon his lovers. Solas had her pulled into her arms with a rush of hoarfrost that felt as if it was coating the room, making Tavaiya's senses reel even as his mouth hungrily descended on her skin. “What was ..that?” Because she had somehow ended up halfway in the middle of the room and hadn't seen him move, not even she could go there and back in the middle...oh she was sitting on the desk there, she hadn't even noticed that so distracted by the magic and the ever so appealing man pressed tightly against her.

 

“It is called..Fade step.” Solas purred a time later as he stepped back, smug smile in place and the war song to his magic was back in play as Tavaiya dazedly touched the area he had clearly left what would be an impressive bruise on.

 

“I'm starting to sense a theme..I'm always the one getting worked up.” She teased him as Tavaiya turned towards the door, knowing that now she truly needed to rush to leave on time. Solas's words just before she closed the door of the study behind her almost made her say screw the mission and go right back inside.

 

“When you return I'll ensure you cannot walk away for a day or three.” Solas smirked, arms crossed at the clear hesitation in Tavaiya's form before she grumbled in Antivan and the door clicked closed. The room not only felt too empty without her there, but again, there was that sensation of emptiness. One that as he had been attempting to draw out his own memories from the altered time line with Wisdom's help, always gave him momentary panic.

 

It was a familiar wretched feeling, the terror, the loss. He'd experienced it far too many times in his long life. It hadn't taken Solas long to come to the troubling conclusion. Tavaiya had perished in that other time line, and he hadn't been able to stop it. Probably even witnessed the event. That he was stronger now than he would have been, as eerie as the approaching nexus of time was coming upon them, wasn't much comfort. He would not feel at ease until the potential 'anniversary' of her death was gone and she still remained hale at his side.

 

Sighing in regret that it would be a week at least before she returned, Solas glanced back at the calculations he was working on. Trying to figure out how to buy Tam time before the anchor caused more pain.

()()()()()()()()()()()

 

“Mi amor!” Came the lilting voice as Tavaiya entered the location she'd tracked Damian down to. It hadn't taken long thankfully, and of course, he was in the thick of it. With a laugh the crow grinned over at her, black hair flying around his face as he dodged the blow of another man. Orleisian frippery declared them as would be bodyguards, likely their charge already cooling at their backs.

 

“{Truly, you are always having fun without me handsome.}” Tavaiya called back as she fired an arrow into the eye socket of another mask. The calling cackle of Damian as he moved back into action, alone as always, he had never been the sort to trust others for his ambushes and schemes preferring to set traps and then pull them into it. Judging from the lingering aroma of explosive powder and the signs of body parts around, that had worked again as usual. Messy business, but it worked. Another arrow found it's mark as Tavaiya set about picking them off, the bodyguards were then forced to choose to come after her -when Damian would backstab them- or try and handle the slippery crow which would then leave them open to her arrows.

 

It did not take long before she was on the ground, waiting as Damian riffled through the corpses. Finally he waved a hand at her. “{Come, come, my lovely. I've picked clean the evidence I needed, help yourself to baubles and coins with me.}”

 

“{'And lo the scavengers set to their feast, amongst the corpses and secrets..'}” Tavaiya quoted at him earning another breathtaking smile from her friend. Damian adored poetry and prose that did abound about the crows and their lifestyle but for some reason if he started quoting it on the battlefield people thought him macabre and got a little perturbed. Tavaiya thought it rather fitting.

 

It turned out to be a very lucrative haul, and aside from a few baubles she handed over, for Damian was the one who knew if such things were of any value not her, she kept coins and concoctions only. It wasn't as if taking their pants would earn them anything! The masks had to be left as well, taking a mask and being found with it was an execution sentence in Orlais.

 

“{Oh, you should want this..}” Damian said, turning a beautiful stone over in his hands. “{This is in need of carving to properly bring out, but a stone this clarity would be a marvelous focus in a ring or pendant even for..}” for a mage like Elan. The words hung in the air and yet Tavaiya paused.

 

It was a large enough stone, and a warm amber hue to it. “{Could it make two?}”

 

“{It's not a stone for ...}” Damian had her pressed to a tree then and smirking, turning her face side to side before unlacing her bodice slightly. With a laugh Tavaiya batted his hands away and pulled her neckline down, showing the impressive bruised marking there. It was a very enjoyable sort of soreness, and Damian's wide eyes and then utterly lewd approving smirk made her chuckle.

 

“{I'll not be kissing you properly.}” She warned him and that made the darker elf back off with an elated grin.

 

“{Oho, the jackal is lured by a scent is it? Caught wind of something you like?}”

 

“{You want the details?}” Tavaiya asked with a quirk of her brow. “{Come on, let's ride back. I tied my horse not far from here and I need a favor, the inquisition needs a favor.}”

 

“{Ah favors between friends...You spare not a single act and sound and I'll cut you a discount.}”

 

“{No repeating?}” Tavaiya didn't worry that he would keep his word, Damian and many crows were surprisingly honest in their dealings. They repaid loyalty with the same, unless you became a liability and then they just killed you. But Damian and Tavaiya were far more apt to pull the other in to help kill their assailants and then track down and remove every trace of those coming after them, as she'd helped Damian with in the past, so she trusted him implicitly.

 

“{Not at all.}” Damian's grin hadn't faded, delighted that there was someone Tavaiya took seriously enough to not only show him proof of her relationship rather than just wearing it and asnwering if he asked later, but was guarding details of. She rarely cared -as he'd taught her- if stories mentioned how she moaned or cried out if someone was good with their mouth or hands, nor how she could make them do some truly foolish things. But she wasn't going to kiss him even though between them it was a reaffirmation of their friendship and kissing was just enjoyable. She'd asked about matching stones in a color that was personal to her.

 

“{And yes, lovely, these would be fetching together..pendants you think? Rings are a bit too Free Marcher and serious, but a long pendant on you, to sit between the breasts?}”

 

Tavaiya snickered as he pulled himself on the horse behind her, there was almost no gear there and he moved her bow to situate it for her with ease. Actually, that was about the same length as that wolf jaw necklace Solas always wore. Perhaps. “{One needs to be understated.}”

 

“{Darling girl, trust me a touch more. I am after all the one who knows fashion unlike you my dearest. Understated elegance is my hallmark! Otherwise Mora and I would have you in gowns that had bells trailing behind you. Something foolish. Orleisan.}”

 

“{Would you believe it is _fashion_ that brings me to you again? The Inquisition needs to make a statement.}”

 

“{Oho..and willing to find feathers round their roost are they? Curious places you find yourself my dear Jackal. I approve. And what of you? For I must assume this is for the coming ball to let the Empress dazzle once more, which means you are in need of a gown..hm, explains the shipment I received from Mora recently. You've started writing her again then, good, the girl does miss you otherwise. Very well. This could be enjoyable. Have the Inquisition any colors they must have?}”

 

“{None. Just very much in need of understated elegance my beautiful crow, I've the sketches of the horrid things they would have had made otherwise.}”

 

“{You disapproved? Oh my, then perhaps I should not even look. My eyes are very valuable you know, would be best not to strain them.}”

 

“{Lovers?}” Tavaiya asked, curious as they enjoyed the full out run of the horse, the flying scenery only helping to hide them in the night as it was. Elvhen eyes could see perfectly in the dark, and most did not realize horses were nocturnal enough to be entirely capable of moving without lights.

 

“{Mine? Hm. That boy you took a message from got too troublesome, had an unfortunate accident in a bathtub. Slipped on oils and cracked his head open, the servants hadn't heard a thing until too late.}”

 

“{Hadn't heard or were too busy screaming out your name?}”

 

“{Considering I had two beautiful women? The later. They didn't get a good look at my face and it was a false name.}” Meaning he let them live, it made Tavaiya chuckle. “{Come now Jackal, tell me who has managed to catch your attention.}”

 

“{A mage.}”

 

“{Ha!}” Damian snickered and then started. “{Is he tall?}”

 

“{Yes.}”

 

“{Blue eyes?}”

 

“{No.}” And so it went until they were back in the city. Even as they found her horse a place -Damians doing and insisting she not go back there so it must be handled by a contact for now- before they took to the roof tops still playing the game. So far Damian knew most the facts, from appearance to voice, how Solas moved and spoke and fought. He knew that he played games of seduction and won as often as he lost, that Tavaiya had teased him in ways that made Damian chortle in approval and give advice for the next time.

 

It was only later, peppered in through talks as they looked at fabrics and Damian sent notes out, haggled over prices that left both very happy over and relaxed then, planning out the kill that Leliana and Josephine needed handled whilst she was there together in thanks for her helping him earlier.

 

That was when Damian asked the question they both knew was coming.

 

“{Do you care for him?}” Damian asked, curling up on his bed, Tavaiya's head on his chest as they'd sleep lightly until just before dawn and go to commit the murder. True to their promise and it was one Damian had approved of Solas asking for, their interactions had only been chaste though still tangled in limbs as always.

 

“{I'm not letting him go.}” Tavaiya agreed and it was plenty of answer enough.

 

“{Hm. I should think not. We scavengers play dirty, and know how to keep what we need to feel free.}” Damian chuckled and then sighed happily as he prepared to drop into light slumber. “{Good. I can interrogate him at the ball.}”

 

There was utterly no point in telling the crow not to do so, he was being nice enough to warn her so she didn't panic if she saw them together. If anything, Tavaiya snorted a laugh and closed her own eyes. It would be entirely embarrassing for her, but truthfully, that Damian cared so much was wonderful. It did remind her of something to tell him about her potential dress...

 

“{He's a fixation with my backside.}”

 

“{Ah, an ass man? Hmmm...we'll work with that.}”

()()()()()()()()

 

Tavaiya left the next morning, a cooling body would be located in one of the elaborate gardens without any sign of how he got there and must have perished from some accident. One that had involved a slit throat and evidence planted of dealings he had never taken part of, but his elusive wife _had_ but Orlais would handle the coming scandal with the relish it always did. Damian had pressed a kiss to her brow and the blade 'Dami' she'd always coveted of his, the ancient artifact a pinacle of beauty, into her hands before she left.

 

“{I had told you, my dear girl, if you told me who had your attention I would give it to you.}” He had winked then and shooed her off, promising the Inquisition would look devastatingly capable and she would need to find a good artist to assist with her dress. It had her laughing, knowing one of the bits of information Damian had pulled from her was that Solas loved to paint. He was a sneaky man, her crow friend.

 

Barely letting her horse get enough rest she rode hard until the sound of hooves echoed upon entrance into Skyhold. Her good mood vanished swiftly though as Tam ran over, his eyes worried.

 

“You haven't seen Solas, have you?”

 

Dread pooled in her senses but the rogue dropped off her horse, Blackwall taking the panting beast from her. “No. What happened?” Another attack like Haven was her first concern but as her blue eyes swept the grounds there was no such sign.

 

“We left the next day after you, Solas had a friend, a spirit of Wisdom that was in trouble..you better..you better come and hear.”

 

“Worried..fear and cold fingers that grip, terror, need to go right away..wasn't swift enough, not enough, never enough..” Cole spoke suddenly and Tavaiya turned, not really surprised that Tam and the others wandered off as if forgetting they were there. Cole hadn't approached her often but it was enough. She knew he _remembered_ since she had, likely pulled all her memories out of her head and that was _fine._

 

It was easier really.

 

“Cole?”

 

“That was Solas's thoughts. The whole time. He wanted you there but didn't want you to see..Wisdom twisted and hurt and dark and nothing like it had been and you are so potentially open about spirits..” Cole agreed and then paused, tugging on his hat. “I don't want to be like that. The pain, I couldn't help it, I couldn't help the mages..Solas killed them because they killed his friend..”

 

“Where is Solas, Cole?” Tavaiya asked even as she moved to hug the spirit, the one that had kept her alive in that other time, caught her when she passed out after Haven. Cole was a treasure.

 

“Wandering. Alone, hurt, not even wanting to seek the Fade because he keeps going to where Wisdom was and there's nothing there, he hates the loss and the fear and..”

 

Slowly Cole stopped and looked down at her and it was that look, the one that Tavaiya knew she had seen many times, over weeks of hard living in a land slowly turning red from Lyrium that paused her own thoughts. There was only the quiet, the stillness. An arrow waiting to be loosened and Cole's eyes set in the form of a young man were glowing with that ever present knowledge of a being far older than she was.

 

“You'd do what I tell you?” Cole asked and then nodded. “You know. You respect. I'm just an infant in this body but I know how to help and heal and you're willing because you care and you're scared of how much and so is he but you know it's real and ..yes. You need to go. West. Don't take the horse just go he's half a day away. If you meet him before he's back it'll help. He'll leave you and come back on his own but it'll help.”

 

It didn't sound like if he would leave her company it would help much but she was not the spirit of compassion, so Tavaiya nodded. Glad she had the basics with her and it would have to be enough. “Thank you Cole.”

 

“Don't thank me.” Cole scolded with a frown. “It's going to hurt and I don't like the hurt but it'll help and be better...”

 

“Thank you anyways.”

 

“Hurry.”

 

Tavaiya took a deep breath and turning around, she ran.

 


	29. Chapter 29

It had been a very long time since Tavaiya tried to do something new with her odd 'other' sense of magic she had really stopped experimenting after finding that Elan and herself could utilize it in battle and it gave her something of a warning system, keeping it hidden did not leave her many options to explore. Yet now with her blood running cold from worry over Solas, and it had to have been awful losing a friend if Cole had warned her that as much as she would help she would hurt, or be hurt, it was worth trying. She understood that though, even now having those who helped her deal with her loss of Elan was more painful than comforting, even if worth it after wards. So despite the fact that Tavaiya had no idea if what strange method of seeking out Solas and his powers would work she figured it couldn't be too unlike when it 'acted up' on it's own. Most the time unless the power near was overly demanding she tried to ignore it, like you did the multitude of voices in a crowded area or too many smells in a market place. Right now however, Tavaiya diverted a dangerous amount of her focus from her surroundings, seeking out any of the senses that helped identify Solas to her, with his magics. Ones that were always so potent and pervasive of the area as if he was claiming every space he trod upon.

 

It was difficult, the areas around Skyhold were full of the same rocky terrain they had struggled with before and gusts of air and wind could create whistling and booming sounds as she ran. She kept whirling, thinking maybe in that direction she'd 'heard' the sound of Solas's magic, only to realize it was the air currents. Her only guide had been west, and with brief pauses to rest, gulping down stamina potions and ignoring that it would be expensive at best to have them replaced, Tavaiya would continue. Cole had said half a day but the gentle soul had doubtlessly not expected that the urgency she felt over how broken Solas must feel would drive her to all but run the entire way. Losing Elan still tore at her heart and she had grown up with him, there were certain spirits that Solas never spoke of but he clearly had viewed them as _people_ not creatures and their loss must be no less poignant for the lack of a body. Considering the way he had shared his journeys among the fade with Tavaiya, the rogue had a unique understanding that it was as real as the waking realm. She was weary and sweaty when finally she felt that first trace of cold that went into her bones and curled with tiny hoarfrost crystals. It gave Tavaiya a new burst of energy though, and when she crested the next pass there was Solas. Head in his hands with staff nearby as he sat and rested, looking utterly defeated. The very curve to his spine seemed as if the burden he carried was breaking him and Tavaiya felt that burning sensation in her chest once more that she had become accustomed to by now, branding anew painfully at the sight.

 

She must have made some sound as Solas looked up then, eyes tellingly red and his jaw dropped, one of the hands falling from his face reaching out hesitantly, uncertain if she was real.

 

“Tavaiya?” came the hoarse sound, a man who had spent days crying and choking back screams of denial. Slowly he stood in disbelief that she was there and Tavaiya was fairly certain she'd just figured out a new method to cross a battlefield that she'd never quite managed to make work properly but Damian had always assured her worked..even if he used it in backstabbing, because her form was all but colliding with Solas. Despite his startlement the older elf was solid and barely budged from the impact as her arms went around him.

 

“I'm here. Cole told me.” And it was answer to the unasked questions enough. Tavaiya tucked her face into his shoulder as his fingers dug into her leathers so tight they would leave behind bruises and Solas trembled. Knowing that the proud man must have insisted on being alone that had worried Tam, and that Solas needed to be apart from the others so, he would not wish to fall apart in front of anyone she reassured him. “No one else is coming, it's only me, Solas.”

 

He didn't answer but in her hold the powerful frame shook violently and she felt where his face had buried into her hair, after he loosened it even in his grief the man could be stubborn, but if strands came back damp from tears and not sweat, she said nothing touched as she was that he trusted her enough to allow her to witness even this. Instead Tavaiya just breathed with him and held him tighter, letting the silence of the location remain unbroken.

()()()()()()()

 

The gaping wound of loss from Wisdom's passing was perhaps the worst Solas had felt yet. Wisdom had been his friend long before he had been anything but another boy in a small village. Eons before he would rise as a king and some day to the rank of god, and now? Now it was gone. A world that could destroy a spirit which had committed no crime was a wretched place showing only the worst of it he had seen since awakening. For the three days the ancient elf had wandered slowly back, because there were things he simply had to see through with the inquisition, he had fought the urge to seek Uthenera once more and sleep through the aching. Wandering the fade now would not help him forget that the part he was most used to seeking, was empty. He had been attempting to push beyond it, lock up the memories and ignore them as best he could instead of deal with them. Not allowing himself truly to grieve as he could not afford the time.

 

Only a moment before he'd looked up there had been the strangest feeling as if he was wandering in the time before he'd put up the veil, or the sense of connection and completion within the Fade, to see Tavaiya there.

 

Of course. Everything was different when the quickling rogue was involved and for the first time the sheer relief knowing that in some fashion she already knew him, knew his pride, let him unburden his tears into her hair as he clutched her to him. She'd found him. Had anyone ever sought him out, concerned and worried before? Not since he'd come into his powers. It felt _good_ and that holding her as he was, trusting her to bear witness to his grief was indeed far more intimate than any physical act felt more natural than how well she fit against him. He ceased trying to control his emotions and permitted the tears to come, facing his loss instead of entrenching himself into denial.

 

She said nothing as he sobbed silently in her grasp and when they finally moved to the ground, his legs giving out, she helped ease him to the earth below kneeling with him though he could feel her own muscles shaking from exhaustion. Had she run almost all the way from Skyhold? On the words of where to find him from Cole?..it let a touch of wonder and almost hysterical edge creep into his tears. Finally he leaned back against the stone behind him, letting his rogue shift so she just sat nestled at his side and looked up through blurry eyes at the sky. For she was certainly _his_ rogue, coming after him as she had. Solas knew this was unkind to her but selfishly he felt such relief to not be alone right then. He did _not_ wish to talk about it, and Tavaiya asked him no questions. In just being here with him though, he felt better than he had since he awakened knowing Wisdom had only a slim chance of salvation. Was able to feel the gratitude that Tam had rushed off with only Blackwall and Cole at their side to try and help his friend, had not judged him the slaughter of the mages who had tortured it.

 

Ever emotion he had done his best to not focus on, to batten down, wearily Solas let drift to the surface and then away again.

 

Exhausted, Solas fought off sleep only for a moment.

 

“I'm here.” Tavaiya reminded him, as if knowing what he must be thinking though she never looked up, letting Solas keep his pride in not seeing him fall to pieces. He'd taken her gloved hand in his own at some point and wearily squeezed it in thanks, the other clutching her firmly against his side so when they breathed it was feeling their rib cages expand together, he was easily able to ignore the buckles digging into his side. With ease of long practice, he slipped into slumber, though did not seek to wander in the fade. Instead he just let it form a quiet dark space he could rest in, enjoying that as he did so there was that soft echoing sensation yet of Tavaiya's body against his own, keeping guard.

 

That was when his grief and pain fully manifested and a last gift from his friend overtook him. He allowed it.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

 

When Solas awoke later he did not hesitate to ease Tavaiya into slumber with a spell, rubbing the headache from his skull manually instead of wasting the mana. Going back to the inquisition was never a doubt no matter how badly he wished to rest for a century or more, not whilst Corypheus was out there and Tam was wielding his anchor with all the grace of a plow horse with a crown tied to it's tail. And there was...her.

 

Gray eyes looked down and softened, where Tavaiya had nestled against his side while he slumbered. Though his lips curved in a smirk seeing her free hand held a wicked blade ready for use in his defense, one of her many throwing knives. She could not waken for a time from his spell and so Solas stood, easing her gently to the ground and just observing her as she slept. It was not something he had the luxury of until now.

 

Again, she was striking in her beauty. Had she been Dalish, like Tam, and marred by the Valaslin it would have been such a pity yet their fey wildness would have also suited the rogue. With her curls sneaking free from her run, and then when he had loosened them, a childish fit but he adored that she simply allowed him to tug her hair free of it's band whenever he liked, it created a halo around her. Untamed and only wilder if he ran his fingers through it, creating an analogy in his mind that was almost as enticing as it's surprisingly soft and yet coarse feeling. The hair became more unruly and untamed the more you teased it, much like the woman herself.

 

He felt guilt seeing the circles under her eyes even as it made his smile evident enough no one in the area would have missed it if they were not alone. Tavaiya had rushed through her mission and back to him, and then came immediately after when he was absent. It was more heartwarming than the cloak he had left safely in his study back at Skyhold. He should go back alone, leave wards and glyphs for her safety but return without her at his side to stall the rumors and wagging tongues. He _should_ end the courtship all together.

 

It had fully been his intention when he went to sleep. Had been on his mind the entire trip back from after watching Wisdom fade away.

 

But he could not. She'd come after him and something inside shattered at the idea of just, leaving her. Losing her. The first time he could remember as he rested a memory from that other timeline had emerged and Solas was doubtless it had taken the agony of losing Wisdom to force it loose, shake his control over the Fade enough to allow it to surface. Indeed, it made him pity Tavaiya and Varric all the more that they continued having flashes of that time. Easing a breath free he instead stretched and began placing the glyphs so he could join her in the Fade. Time was precious and they were not granted enough of it.

 

In the memory he had been frantically healing, the mana slipping away, exhausted as he had until then been experimenting on augmenting spells with Fiona and Vivienne, his fellow master mages all trying to find new ways to cast that took as _little_ energy as possible as there simply was no uncorrupted Lyrium to be found. A group of rogues, of Leliana's own, had stumbled in all bloodied and gasping from some new attack that the demon creations of the former Gray Wardens, now abominations, had used on them. It had burned the air like acid and they were peeling them out of their armor and cutting off locks that weren't already shorn as short as could be. He had descended on the first there with the other healers, the one who looked the worst off and kept not breathing.

 

One of the tranquil finally stopped him, a hand on his shoulder that had Solas snarling at the unnatural man. “You are needed.” Came the voice, eerie in it's lack of inflection.

 

“I am busy trying..” And yet the Tranquil did not let him finish.

 

“Your Jackal's garments have fused to her skin.”

 

The air had rushed from his lungs. He barely realized he had yanked more mana free, painfully forcing open the connection to the Fade he had further than he was capable of at the moment as he Fade stepped to the end of the line where the Tranquil had quietly started working on a body. Hoarse gasping, sounds he'd mistaken for a male they were so rough, and that her hair was now shorter than her jaw, before she'd hiss in a breath and someone would pull... Solas interjected himself and saw in horror that indeed the metal and leather she'd worn had _melted_ against her side. “Vhenan..” He had softly whispered and pain dazed eyes locked onto him. For just a moment there had been a feeling of contentment, of the pain fading that he hadn't even noticed at first. That odd echoing effect she had to his magic that left him aware of her. She'd mouthed something at him before gasping again and he then saw it was a choked screaming not an attempt to get air. Ruthlessly, ignoring the pain it was causing and his own swimming vision, Solas had poured every ounce of healing mana he could wring out of his Fade connection into the woman's body even as the Tranquil finally were cutting free the garments not worrying she would bleed out too soon. The scarring, could not be helped but she would live.

 

When he'd awakened, he'd immediately sent Tavaiya into slumber because he had to come to terms with what he had just experienced. Experienced as a proper memory, a last gift from Wisdom it seemed who had been trying to help him unlock some of those memories. Now he understood why Tavaiya rarely wished to share them, why she was so haunted at living through them again. It had been peculiar to realize the tranquil had known of the relationship between Tavaiya and himself as lovers that was suddenly just a fact he was aware of in that memory, the details not there but all the impressions had been. Unlike the others, being a dreamer mage, he was fully able to remember as he wakened. Calling her Vhenan had been an accident, but only because he had a strange feeling she didn't want him to do so. Much like the fact they had yet to kiss, that it was something neither wanted tainted by circumstances but to be far more valid. The parallels to now were evident.

 

Yet, Solas dearly did not wish to experience another of those memories again. No wonder Wisdom had been cautioning him that he may not enjoy what he found. It had been right again.

 

The last glyph set, Solas removed her knife from her hands and pulled Tavaiya into his arms before joining her in the Fade.

 

He kept it light, instead of looking at her just showing her places of beauty he had wandered, her arm around his waist and his around hers. They did not speak, in the Fade, and that she knew precisely what he needed was a wonder that only would have him tightening his hold upon her at times. But he would not tell her now, not when Wisdom's death was so fresh and painful upon his thoughts. If the loyal little trickster at his side deserved anything it was to have the surety that he was indeed, most receptive to her courtship with his desire to return the favor, untainted.

 

There were problems enough facing their relationship he should not create such strains that did not need to be there.

 

Though he did wonder..why was it he'd thought of it as an echo of his magic when in the memory? Would she know?

()()()()()()()

 

Of course as so often happened with Solas, by the time he woke up and was preparing to walk back, Tavaiya stretching after their sleep, he had once more changed his mind. The looming tasks ahead, knowing the secrets he kept from her. There was the not so small issue of his true identity and that he had a multitude of enemies. No, it was best if he kept the woman he was growing ever more fond of safe even if it meant distancing themselves.

 

“I should return to Skyhold alone.” And Solas prepared himself, not avoiding looking over at her so he would not need to watch her eyes dim or the like. No, if he was going to cause her pain it was only right he have the reminder.

 

“Why?” However, Tavaiya did not seem to understand as she was twisting her curls into a semblance of a braid once more. “It's not like they don't have my horse and could not figure it out.”

 

“I do not think it would do well to set rumors flying so easily.”

 

“Solas, I _did_ flat out tell them all I was courting you when that crazed man was throwing goats at Skyhold. Just because they didn't believe me means we can laugh at them later.”

 

“Tavaiya..” He paused, and held her gaze. “I would prefer you cease courting me.” Centuries of experience in lying let Solas know even his eyes would not give away the fact he desired the opposite.

 

“No.”

 

“W..what?”

 

“Well you can try to stop accepting it but we'll see who can be more stubborn.”

 

Tavaiya glanced over and smirked at him, though she felt shakey and her chest burned something fierce. Honestly, the cut of how deep his words had gone felt almost physical but as much as none of his tone or body language gave Solas away, his magic did. The hoarfrost had all but coated her, the sound of his magic was creating a symphony just for them that almost wailed and howled more akin to wolves on a snowy night than the usual war songs. She didn't know what fool ideas had gotten into the Fade mage's head _now_ but she was not going to humor him. Not when she was tired, had been worried, and needed a good meal and a bath.

 

“Tavaiya..”

 

“I said, no. You're not going to get to decide I am not courting you. Though of course if you don't accept the gifts each time is your choice. You see I happen to be a fully grown woman as you've clearly seen, felt, and enjoyed about me..” And Tavaiya smirked seeing the flash of amusement in his eyes at the memories of their games. “So you do not get to tell me how this relationship is going to go as if I was some errant child or a fool with no mind of my own.” Tavaiya moved close then, pulling Solas down to rest their foreheads together. Remembering he understood far more Antivan than he let on she switched to the language he seemed to enjoy her using. “{Try to walk away and I shall follow. Do it too often and I'll lay traps to slow you down, handsome. You give away that you do not wish me to cease, I do not know why you seem to think you don't need or deserve it but you cannot simply dictate how I feel. No one can, not even I.}”

 

“Tavaiya..”

 

“Yes, corazón?”

 

Solas swallowed and then felt the brush of pain against his own senses. It was swiftly gone again but reminded him of the memory dislodged for him, perhaps the only one he'd ever have of that other time. How even screaming in hoarse gasps and with the agony she had been going through, just the sight of Solas had eased his rogue. He'd known it. Felt it echo in his magic.

 

“It would be kinder in the long run.” He tried once more.

 

“Solas, you beautiful and brilliant but completely foolish man.” She chuckled and Tavaiya's thumbs swept over his cheekbones gently. “We are not promised even the next minute, much less a long run. Why deny something we enjoy?”

 

“There are enemies.”

 

“I know, and I've tried to not use your name but eventually mine will learn of yours and I will do my best to handle that when they come.”

 

Solas's mind ceased working. “You're..worried about them finding out..about me?” It was so absurd. What enemies could this rogue of his have that were any concern for..of course. She still only knew him as Solas. Still he couldn't even find it in him to sneer mentally, so rapidly had his pulse sped up realizing once again his quickling was trying to protect _him_. “There are no few who have problems with my existence, Tavaiya.” Solas tried to warn her.

 

He was not ready for the way she laughed and then shrugged, taking his free hand that did not hold his staff to start walking with him back to Skyhold.

 

“I think you're worth it. You can't argue that with me Solas, tis my heart after all.”

 

For an answer he just tightened his grip on her hand. He would try one more time that evening in the Fade to make Tavaiya step away on her own but already the willpower of the mage once revered as a god to his people, was crumbling. He did not really wish to make her leave for all he was trying to spare her pain in the future. And as horrible as he hated to admit, Tavaiya was an astounding rogue but she was...expendable. She could vanish. With him. Tam needed her but only until the Inquisition was better handled and Corypheus was dealt with but then?

 

Taking a deep breath Solas pushed the thought away. First he owed it to her to try and convince her she would be best to cease her attentions in his direction. It would break his heart to see her turn her gaze elsewhere if she did so, but it would keep her alive and away from his enemies. Almost unwillingly, his gaze trailed over her rogue attire and the many _many_ weapons there. His enemies may be safer not meeting her, was the thought that stole free as a chuckle.

 

Tavaiya did not relinquish his hand as they came upon the bridge back into Skyhold, and so he paused, tugging her back towards him and looking into her face.

 

“There's still time..” Solas trailed off as gloved fingers pressed to his lips and serious eyes locked to his own.

 

“You know, I never considered you may have a confidence issue, corazón.”

 

Giving a faint smile Solas shook his head and offered his arm. He was exhausted in every way and yet for all it was soft and gentle, Tavaiya kept turning moments into aspects of their games. Familiar and even footing that so vulnerable as he felt after the loss of his oldest friend was much easier to cope with then his already raw emotions.

 

“Hm. I did promise to make it where you couldn't walk for days..” He said idly just to finally get her flustered. The rewarding was seeing her ears turn a brilliant vermillion shade as she cleared her throat.

 

“Yes, and I did not think it meant from running after you.”

 

“I see.” Solas chuckled then. “Join me in the gardens tonight then, after we are both more normal. We can...discuss..this arrangement.”

 

“If you only tease me again Solas I am going to make you regret it.”

 

“Last time you said that I was rather, spoiled, wonderfully so.”

 

“Last time I was generous.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Do it again and I'll enlist _all_ the women's assistance in making you regret it. And Tam and Dorian, of course.”

 

“Why those two?”

 

“Tam will go along with anything Sera and I do, and Dorian won't let him get into anything without his being at his side.”

 

Solas swallowed back the response of how familiar that sounded, recognizing the time they had slept in the Fade was not nearly enough for the rogue at his side, nor himself. But with her tucked against his arm and seeing the guards watching them enter, Solas tried to convince himself he did not feel once more like Fen'Harel returning from one of his voyages, with the change of the beautiful woman at his side not being one of his syncophants.

 

For just a moment, he could almost imagine what it would have been like. Skyhold once more his fortress as in it's height and bedecked in his armor with Tavaiya in far more suitably elegant formed garments. Stylized enough to show her allegiance of course in place of actual markings upon her features.

 

“Had I met you in my youth..I think we would have changed history.” Solas whispered softly, just for her ears.

 

“There's still time for that.” Tavaiya teased back not understanding the seriousness to his comment but her eyes were fixed on the approaching form of Tam and missed the thoughtful gleam to Solas even as his magic went still, putting it to the strange way he seemed to blend into Skyhold's remainder and her weariness.

 

“Indeed.”

 


	30. Chapter 30

AN: just been one of those weeks where you pull extra shifts and don’t have days off. Playing catch up on all my stories so a bit shorter interlude.

()()()()()()()()()

 

As Tam looked out over the wall concerned for the members of his inner circle, his friend and elder whom were not safely ensconced within Skyhold's stone barriers, he was the first to spy the small forms walking over the bridge as the wind changed. Cole had ceased making Tam forget about Tavaiya's leaving a few hours into the event the day prior understanding that it was only concern for two he cared dearly for that made the elfin inquisitor fret and that there was no help to be had in forgetting that they were gone. Not when Tam had become accustomed to seeking out either or both when he had questions. Especially if Dorian happened to be busy.

 

Tam was thus the first to scramble all ungraceful as a four day old chick down the stairs and rush the gate. Following his headlong rush into the courtyard came many of the others he had come to trust with his life and sanity both.

 

It was...interesting. Seeing Solas walking with his head tall, that peculiar gait that he moved with as though wearing something far more cumbersome than his simple woven tunic and leggings, staff more like a scepter in hand. On his arm -and indeed she was on his arm!- was Tavaiya. Matching him step for step in a way that could only be unconscious with her own prowling gait she fell into when either stalking or completely unaware of her friend's gazes upon her. They looked far less the tired wanderers slinking back in the early morning light and more a returning regent and his partner, triumphant but weary. It made many of the questions die out upon Tam's lips as he watched. The boy who had become a man in far more ways than years with the burden of the Anchor upon his palm fell silent then, letting his instincts as First to Clan Lavellan play out.

 

Losing his spirit friend had clearly destroyed something in Solas as surely as losing any of his dearest friends would have Tam, yet, the Dalish inquisitor mage thought that it was also as if someone had loosened the chains that his hahren chose to keep about him. There was something a little less cautious about him that Tam did not think had much to do with the woman walking on his arm. If anything, and Tam could not say where the inspired idea came from, he felt that perhaps Tavaiya was grounding his elder. Giving him a focus where otherwise perhaps he would have drifted.

 

He had greeted Tavaiya the day before however, and so when Tam stepped forward once Solas and Tavaiya entered the gate, returned home, it was to Solas that Tam spoke. “Welcome back, will you be all right?”

 

“The loss is a painful one, but I will bear it. In time..” Solas trailed off and Tam would have missed the ever so slight motion of Tavaiya's fingers tightening on his arm if he had not been looking before Solas continued. “I will manage. As I always do. I could not leave you and the Inquisition alone, could I?”

 

Tam found himself smiling though sorrow threaded throughout the gesture. It was such a comment as a Keeper would have made. “You were missed, hahren. I worried I would not see you again.”

 

That had not been what Solas was expecting and for a fleeting moment the elder apostate smiled at him before he turned to the woman at his side. They spoke nothing, but the weighted gaze was poignant enough before Solas gently, with more care than Tam thought his elder capable of -indeed it reminded him a great deal of one of Varric's tales- removed her hand from his arm and brought her gloved fingers to his lips. “Later.”

 

It was such a simple phrase yet Tam felt his ears burn at the heavily implied promise and layers of personal revelation that were hidden in the simple word as Tavaiya merely nodded. A tilt of her head, a faint smile, and then a soft stream of gentle accented phrases that Tam could not make out flowed from her lips before she stepped away. Tam did wonder curiously, at how she did not look back, walking directly to Cassandra and looping their arms together as they walked away, the Seeker peppering questions that went unanswered. Tam did not miss however, that Solas's eyes never left the form of their elfin rogue until she turned out of sight.

 

“Hahren?”

 

“Lethallin.”

 

“Do you wish me to send someone to bring you a meal and bath to your room?” Tam asked and smiled when Solas actually seemed to consider it. It was a luxury, the sort that few indulged in, seeking out the public bathhouse instead as no doubt Cassandra was going with Tavaiya to talk filthy as the later was, but Solas disliked sharing the men's section on the best of days private a soul as he tended to be. Journey's out in the wild however would coat anyone in a thick layer of grime and it was something of a ritual for scrubbing clean once one was done with the latest adventure.

 

“I do not wish to trouble anyone.”

 

“Hahren, you're back. And I missed you. I'd gladly owe the servants a few favors if it meant you had even a shred of peace after your ordeal.” Tam spoke honestly. The likeliehood that the servants wouldn't be all but tripping over themselves to please him as the 'Herald' now the Inquisitor was slim to none but if he could ease the troubles of his companions Tam wouldn't hesitate to do so. The wan smile he received in return was completely genuine and Tam reached over to pull the startled elder into a half hug. “I don't know what I'd do without you. Guidance aside, you're my friend Solas.”

 

“I...thank you. Truly.” Solas spoke softly and the words echoed in Tam's heart even as he went to make good on his promise. He didn't think his elder often let anyone in, and frankly, Tam found his unlikely mentor like the elder brother he never was able to have. Tam had not been certain that Solas would come back, knowing that he did, he was all the more determined to team up with Cassandra if need be to win the betting pool because frankly Solas deserved to have someone care about him, and Tavaiya clearly did. Even if the two were obstinately stubborn about just coming together.

 

Well, he wasn't omnipotent so he had no idea that much had been happening under his nose.

 

()()()()()()()

 

It didn't take long for Tavaiya to be sitting on a stool outside the water of the largest bath, dipping a cloth into the sudsy water in a bucket nearby and attacking her hands first. Cassandra was not joining her but had been in her more casual attire and currently attempting to make some sense of the utter snarl the elfin rogue's curls had become. It was a common enough sight, the larger basins reserved for soaking once one was cleaned as the strange way Skyhold had been constructed meant the soaking pools stayed heated from the geothermal energy below them and no one had any desire to foul them with dirt or slime. An are off to the far side had a natural drainage feature and it was here they would bring buckets of cold water and bars of soap and rags to wash as best they could first. Considering most were far more familiar with bathing in either rivers nearby or nothing more than a bucket anyways it had hardly been an adjustment for the populace. That the bathing chambers were kept seperated by a large slab of stone wall was all the better, letting both genders rest as needed without concern of unruly miscreants.

 

“Was it productive?” Cassandra asked as she gently unwound a snarl with surprisingly dextrous fingers.

 

“Val Royeaux? Yes. We'll have the attire we need without looking like so many Orlesian castoff popinjay's. Your dress is done by the way and will be awaiting us.”

 

“I did not expect..but thank you. I know whatever was done I will enjoy.”

 

“And be able to fight in.”

 

“Tavaiya, this is you. After so long together in the Inquisition I assume anything you would have made not only can be fought in but will probably have surprises.” Cassandra drawled and Tavaiya chuckled but did not argue. Rather tellingly. Indeed perhaps she had not designed it but the dress for Cassandra had been explained as to what was needed in detail. It was truly a pity that the blood debt Tavaiya was owed only extended to full extent for anything she would wear but she doubted Cass would complain when she finally slipped the dress on. Varric certainly would not.

 

“Guilty.”

 

“You seemed..at ease..walking with Master Solas.”

 

Tavaiya hummed in agreement and scowled as she pulled up her right foot, why her ankles always became so dirty despite the foot wraps she wore -now off to the side in a pile- she had no idea. “I -am- courting him Cassandra.”

 

“He is so ...” Cassandra huffed and muttered in Nevarran for a while making the rogue chuckle. She did the same with Antivan often enough, sometimes common just couldn't express things correctly.

 

“He is not, precisely, seeming responsive.”

 

“He tried to call it off.”

 

A shocked gasp came from behind. “He didn’t'!”

 

“I told him no.”

 

“...no.” Cassandra barked a laugh and then dumped the bucket of water over Tavaiya's head before working again on the now wet hair, ignoring the spluttering of her friend. It wasn't like the rogue hadn't been completely stark naked anyways to wash her skin. She was just taking forever. “You told him, no?”

 

“That he couldn't tell me not to court him. Yes. That he could stop accepting the gifts but..”

 

“Speaking of gifts.” Cassandra's voice had gone unusually soft and quiet, not wishing the few stragglers about to hear. “Varric let me see a new manuscript he's working on. A very chaste love story but I recognized myself in the tale swiftly.”

 

Tavaiya smiled and hid it all the more under the application of soap to her face before finally wiping it away. “And?”

 

“...I also recognized, if altered, many of the events. The talks the characters had.” Cassandra would not come out and say it but the pervasive sensation of having heard what she was reading had been unsettling.

 

“So what are you saying Cassandra?”

 

“You know what I am saying.”

 

“Yes, but if you don't admit anything I can't really help can I?”

 

The slow disgusted sigh faded and when next the Seeker spoke it was an almost tremulous voice. “I do not remember. I long since ceased the dreams, we all did. Yet, when reading this book it was as familiar to me as if I were recounting but half remembered moments of my history. It is a love story, one so chaste and appropriate I would have been disappointed if not for the ..unsettling..sensation I was reading into my own most secretive moments in a world that has never existed. And I recognized the bardic character in it as a certain insufferable dwarf..”

 

“And Varric intends to have this published?”

 

“Presumably.”

 

“Spread all over Thedas like his other tales?”

 

“Most likely.”

 

“...Cassandra..” Tavaiya turned then halfway, heedless of her lack of attire and lifted a brow amused. “That is one hell of a declaration of devotion on his part. I think I have been completely outplayed in my own courtship.”

 

ever so slowly the Seeker opened and closed her mouth, befuddled awareness slowly taking over before a faint blush did and a scoff as she looked off to the side. Yet a small smile played over her lips.

 

“It...is..isn't it?'

 

“A very chaste one. As if taking into consideration how you would feel about things being found out by the entire world.”

 

“I..” Cassandra nodded then. “Perhaps I shall save him a dance. When this mess in Orlais is ready. Of course. Purely because we are both party to the Inquisition.”

 

“Certainly.” Tavaiya teased and then finally went to all but gracelessly flop into the hot water and groaned as muscles reacted. “Why are men so complicated?”

 

“Because they have two brains and not enough blood flow to think with both upper and lower at the same time?”

 

“Cass..” And here Tavaiya smirked. “If _that_ was the only issue considering how frustrated I've been I'd be the idiot, not Solas.”

 

“You didn't!” Cassandra gasped before she grinned. “You did. What did you _do.._ ”

 

“Oh no you don't Seeker! You finally make headway with your stubborn male and _then_ I'll talk!” Tavaiya wagged a finger at her before sighing. “Hot water. I wish we had this on the road. Why is it just a few days travel coats us with so much filth I never could figure out.”

 

“Maybe it's your dirty mind.”

 

“Ha! If that was the case we'd never see Sera!”

 

Cassandra actually snorted. “That is very true. By the way it seems she's become best friends with Blackwall of all people. The two have positively juvenile humor.”

 

“You like to eavesdrop on them?”

 

“Every chance I get.”

 


	31. Chapter 31

AN: Sorry for the delay. Been one of those weeks.

()()()()()()()()()()

 

As often happened when one was not expecting it, Vivienne drew out her full fearsome Lady of Iron persona and all but marched Josephine and Tavaiya -whom was at least freshly cleaned and in a change of clothes someone had brought for her while her leathers dried in Cassandra's room since it had a fireplace- into her room for formal tea. Neither of the three blinked at seeing Leliana there as well, and the gesture of her being out of the master spy-mistress gear was also a telling move.

 

“Now then...do update us, darling.” Vivienne stated as she poured the tea for them all, the elegant rose scent and curious violet hue showing it to be her unique blend. A touch of magic that Tavaiya could sense clearly gave it the curious coloration but she said nothing. It was just a whisper of power, like a strand of hair falling across your cheek.

 

“Forgive my impertinence Madame, but considering the taxing journey and haste in which I needed to proceed, I'd care to leave the formalities behind.”

 

“But of course.” Vivienne conceded with grace and so Tavaiya sighed happily at the feel of the warm liquid settling into her, not a trace of potion or concoction either so this was just the enchantress’s personal brew. “To start, the uniforms are all to be tailored with the measurements I was sent with. The colors will vary of course, but a deep gray and black with hints of darker green details will be the normal. Each will bear the insignia of the Inquisition but the way they are tailored will vary according to ones station and skill set.” Tavaiya paused then to accept a tiny cake that was pushed her way by a nodding Josephine.

 

“Matching in cut and color only?” Leliana arched a brow. “No doubt our Herald will stand out the most?” In private company Tam still scowled at the titles but he had grown somewhat used to the title of Herald, Inquisitor seemed to make him wrinkle his nose. Something Leliana was working on.

 

“Indeed. The cuffs and belt along with some of the embroidery is going to be a very bright green for his, mimicking his hand. I trust no one will object to the fact I have taken the liberty of telling them Dorian's own cuffs could match?” She asked with a tiny grin.

 

“Scandalously forward of you, yet will give them much to wag their little tongues about.” Josephine smiled. “Indeed providing gossip at the start, how Antivan and Orlesian both. I love it.”

 

“I do not believe the two boys think their affectionate relationship is obvious to us all, for all they are not hiding it.” Vivienne pointed out delicately as she waved a hand. “Tam will need coaching, of course. Not to mention must learn to dance. Both as follow and leading positions.”

 

“I leave that in your most capable of hands.” Josephine addressed the Madame. “Certainly you have someone in mind?”

 

“Myself, naturally.”

 

“Of course.” Leliana agreed and Tavaiya just smiled.

 

“You taught Elan to dance, Madame de Fer, I cannot imagine Tam is so cumbersome.”

 

“Fortunately no.” Vivienne laughed. “Now then, your own attire?”

 

“Scandalous and in my signature hues. Indeed even in the Antivan gala's I suspect I would have a number of slights directed my way that would have more than a few death threats.” It was telling how different the mage and spy-mistress were accustomed to courtly behaviors that they looked curious, as opposed to Josephine who was beaming.

 

“It _is_ a crow dress?”

 

“One that was made for me and I have not had an occasion to wear. My dearest crow whom has me feathered has been saving it for something, fortunately this has caught his attention.” Enough as well that Damien would doubtlessly be enjoying finding and harassing Solas. “It's a full blood-debt gown, Josephine.”

 

The Antivan born advisor made the most adorable little squeak of delight. “Marvelous! I have always wanted to see one in action, never got in trouble enough my family that is, to witness. Is it true they seem illicit and then you move and it's even worse?”

 

“Let us just say it is a very good thing Antivan undergarments come so small.”

 

“Oh?” Leliana sat forward then, as did the Madame and Tavaiya just laughed.

 

“Go ahead Josephine, tell them of the wonders of the hidden garments your homeland has made.”

 

It was naturally just as half an hour later Josephine was explaining the concept of some of the more risque attire that Cullen walked in flustered. He stopped, gaped with his mouth open as Josephine interjected that 'no truly, it may sound uncomfortable but the little bit of fabric sits between your backside just correctly and it feels as if you are wearing nothing, it only hides a tiny bit in the front..'

 

“Unless you do the ones cut away for swift attentions of course, though that is I think only rumor that crows wear them beneath their gowns.” Leliana agreed.

 

“Not bad I admit if hard to get used to the air flow, though best removed before anything else goes there I was warned.” Tavaiya agreed, at which point the smugly smirking Madame cleared her throat.

 

“Yes, Knight-Captain?”

 

“...I'll return later..”

 

The door shut and the sound of their laughter followed him out. Cullen shuddered slightly and shook his head, truly, the group of women in there were not ones he wished to have in their minds to tease him. Knowing that at this point it would be a long time until Tam could have the lot of them wrangled over dispersing for the newest issues and tasks set up, he grinned and made his way back to the war room. “Sorry, the ladies are...ah..”

 

“Are what?” Cassandra asked with an arched brow.

 

“Playing torture the idiot?” Varric added in with a grin. “Something tells me they would too, all without even touching someone.”

 

“Kind of?” Cullen shook his head. “They were ah..discussing...lacy ..ahem..”

 

Iron Bull began roaring in laughter at the varied expressions on everyone's faces. Not the least of which was the curios gleam in both the Seeker and Sera's eyes.

 

“Where d'ya say they was?”

 

“In Vivienne's room no doubt. Well, since they shall not join us here..perhaps I will fill them in on what is decided. After.” Cassandra managed to not even blink after her delivery and Varric smirked.

 

“Didn't you get a set? Back when we were all in Val Royeaux that is.”

 

Cassandra calmly ignored the dwarf, though when everyone else was discussing the tasks they could handle on Tam's behalf, Solas absent of course without a word being said, Cassandra did lower her pitch so only the short rogue could hear.

 

“I was _fitted_ for a set. They are custom made, Master Tethras.” Cassandra counted the utter speechlessness and blush that overcame the dwarf as quite the victory. She kept insisting Tavaiya boldly stride ahead, she would take her own advice in turn. It was going to be the only way to get some decent gossip out of her anyways.

()()()()()()()()()

 

Once Solas had fed and cleaned himself, he found there was no comfort in his rooms. Though against his protests Tam had gone out of his way to make certain his Hahren had a larger set and they were indeed very well furnished in a fashion Solas could not find fault with it had felt like yet another sort of lie. A manipulation. Until the greeting and way that the young Dalish had confessed his concerns. Now as Solas looked at the tapestry and rugs -horrid clumsy attempts to mimic what everyone thought of as Arlathan elegance- he saw what they really were. Gifts from a man with too much responsibilty trying to show his elder that he cared for that yes, they were family. The idea that Solas had become a sort of Keeper to the boy was peculiar, and yet..

 

And yet his heart felt all the more at ease. It stung then knowing that the very anchor Tam bore would cause him such pain and begin to eat away at him with no outlet and certainly neither body nor skill enough to rein it in. Solas could only do so much, and now that his powers were growing slowly but still...he could hardly seem to know everything about the mark as it were. Besides, if he plucked the Anchor away, something he absolutely would be capable of with his orb back in his own hands. What then? What would become of the boy with the too bright smile and way of hiding behind a mask of innocence and foolish charm that was more true than not? He had become the head of a powerful organization and history proved that such characters were more often maligned and cast out or brutally dealt with. If they could not obliterate such dissenters.

 

It had after all, occurred in his own lifetime. Many, many times over.

 

Not for the first time Solas sighed, ran a hand over his still shaven head, a mark that none of these living elves saw as showing one was 'in service' to another. He had kept his hair short and would do so until he had finished his penance for the loss of all his people had suffered. Elaborate stylings had been a way of showing rank and power after all, and he was affecting none of it. Though, Solas did think he was still not quite the 'unwashed hobo apostate' the Madame and Tevinter seemed to enjoy dubbing him.

 

It was as he moved to place back on his wolf's jaw necklace -a blatant sign if any knew but no one had, none even commented on it- that his eyes saw the teeth of it had caught a few strands of dark blonde curls.

 

The irony made his lips curve. It seemed even in this, the Wolf had caught the Jackal.

 

Ever so gently he worked the strands free and twisted them around his fingertips in thought. There was of course, his other dilemma. Too long around the quicklings and his own lifespan may begin to shudder and wane, all this time in the Fade until now kept him unaffected, and if he stayed in it far more often than awake it would help. Yet, he was pulling her to him and not the ancient immortal spirits that would wander. It would be _kinder_ in the long run to let her go. To break things off entirely. Yet, Solas now could admit he was not able to do so. Her simple retort of 'No.' still bringing a tiny grin to his features.

 

Thousands of years could not be put on hold, not even for his heart. He was Elvhen first, and in another world, even in another time? Perhaps.

 

The lie would not even hold in his thoughts. He had _seen_ another time, another world and they had been parted. He knew from a few words slipped by Varric after a few too many drinks that Solas may have even ensured were of far stronger vintage that Tavaiya had died and affirmed to the dwarf it had not been a painless way to go. No. Those notes he recalled seeing in her dream memory wouldn't have let it be. And somehow he simply _knew_ she'd died in his arms.

 

The same way he knew he could not tell her about his truth, his past. It was his last vain foolish hope that if she heard he could not share such things with her she would turn away. Spare herself the corrosive effect it seemed he had on the lives of those very ones he was trying to save.

 

The real reason he had become known as the 'Dread Wolf'. A mockery of how his best efforts tended to turn out...disastrous.

 

Sadly this was all only the latest in the book of his life.

 

Setting the wisp of a curl down under a book where the maids would not move it, Solas decided he needed not books or his rotunda at the moment, but fresh air. Quietly pulling the aura of Skyhold tightly around himself Solas could walk by someone and be no more noticed than the very walls they moved past. It had been an old playtime of his when a younger man, following the servants and his visitors where they could neither see nor sense him in his stronghold and hear just what they truly thought of him. He'd nearly used it a time or two to spy on his companions but the tiniest shred of remorse over the idea of such a betrayal when there were far worse to come, stayed his actions.

 

That did not mean Solas hadn't managed to track down what rooms Tavaiya had claimed as her own and upon seeing how bereft of anything save a bedroll and the items she had not taken with her..well, Josephine had needed only the faintest of pushes to decide that just would not do. Solas had managed to give his opinion on everything that went into it, and if a few items were redirected elsewhere or came from other rooms entirely, no one noticed.

 

Though Solas was still _highly entertained_ she'd found the room that once would have been his meditation chambers if the original blueprints were what Skyhold had been constructed on. That no one else had found it meant the old enchantments in the earth to help others forget it's location and leave him in peace were still active. Of course his rogue found such a place.

 

The garden's had not been tended to as the original plans had been set forth before Tam and was indeed vastly larger than originally allotted for. It turned out the former first of Clan Lavellan had distinct ideas of what a green and growing place should be and the result was more a miniature forest with useful herbs growing around trees and in bushy locations rather than orderly and controlled boxes. They weren't allowed to be rid of the weeds either, only keep them from choking the other plants and someone had whispered amongst the servants in a scandalized tone that they'd even seen the Inquisitor planting dandelions!

 

Solas admitted he'd come to appreciate the bit of wilderness more than the elaborate crystal and wind chime structures with their ever so precisely tended rose and exotic blooms that once had been here. There was something about wandering in the sparse trees, almost all fruit but still an oak and a few evergreen's haphazardly reaching their tiny sapling limbs to the sky, that calmed you. The pathways were only marked by grass trampled by footsteps, though mostly a variety of ground cover that sprouted and took on a life of it's own in claiming all the empty ground had been permitted. The moss in particular, made for a fantastic napping location and Solas had availed himself of it a few times. It was nearest the center of the garden and yet the trees were so young they did not block the view of the sky whilst hiding you from prying eyes.

 

With the ease of untold centuries of practice, Solas calmed his breathing and entered the Fade.

 

Tavaiya came upon him hours later after finally just giving in as she never could seem to find him as easily when in Skyhold. It had been on her list to finally see the garden's that she heard were constructed but never got around to enjoying while in the fortress. An amused smile pulled at her lips as the rogue leaned against a tree just gazing over the sight. Solas was asleep, the skin of his forehead smooth and tension gone from his frame leaving him seeming lighter rather than younger. At peace. There were small flowers that had fallen from a nearby tree that was almost magically ready to bear fruit out of season decorating his robe and moss around him sparsely.

 

In truth, he rather looked the part of one of the maiden's in Elan's books as a child, or the racier ones Varric liked to write. Well, they usually woke such a sleeping form with a kiss but Tavaiya meant to keep her word that he would have to initiate one. A pity, that. Instead, Tavaiya moved to sit beside Solas and when he did not stir she chuckled, laying down beside him though not touching. Fine. As eerie as it was to have her guard down so, there was only one real way to get through to her Fade mage and that was to meet him on his favored battlefield so to speak.

 

It was not hard to sleep, her body and mind were exhausted from her trip and then tracking Solas down and bringing him back. As much as she'd laughed with Vivienne's little get together it was far more hostile than any not familiar with things of the sort would have realized and that she was going to owe Madame de Fer a large favor had been broached. Tavaiya wasn't sure what had occurred to make her owe it, but the way Leliana had not reacted told her enough. Something had happened, or was expected to and Vivienne was preparing to throw her lot in behind the Jackal. The cost of such without being owned by Vivienne was going to be astronomical no doubt doubly so as it wouldn't be in coin and who knew what sort of favor it would entail.

 

Yet, there was the softest of sounds from Solas that made Tavaiya grin because he didn't _snore_ but he did sort of..snuffle..at points. Focusing on the sense and feel of his magic permeating the area, Tavaiya finally felt the sort of hazy confusion that heralded her beginning to dream before being fully asleep and did not fight it.

 

The sensation of strong hands pulling her against a solid torso was only further incentive and Tavaiya smiled up at Solas. “Well hello to you as well.”

 

Not for the first time she was treated to the sound of Solas laughing before he brought up her fingers to kiss them.

 

“I had not expected you so soon.”

 

“Mm I went to find you and there you are, stretched out in a mess of flowers and moss just inviting some truly wicked ways to wake you up...” Tavaiya teased. “I decided you could use company instead.”

 

Solas gave his answer by drawing her closer and tugging her hair free of the braid it was in, even in the fade it seemed her subconscious always was tying back her hair. “That does seem to be one of your past times, seeking me out. I admit, I am..grateful for it.”

 

“Show me somewhere new?”

 

“Now that I can do with pleasure.”

 

()()()()()()()()()

 

“You are brooding.” Dorian commented in amusement seeing the pout on Tam's face.

 

“They want me to wear shoes.”

 

“Yes, and you should. As uncomfortable as you find them you will be dancing at this event and stepped upon toes are quite painful.”

 

Tam glanced over, watching as the altus turned another page in his book and grinned. Yet, people called Solas a bookworm. He had nothing on Dorian, the same wonderful if crazy man who had reorganized the library. Twice. “I am awful at dancing. I'm glad Viv's such a patient tutor but it's hard to pay attention when my hands are held and I can't cast or do anything.”

 

“Ah so that is the issue. You fear being helpless.” Slowly the book was put down and Dorian nodded, observing his lover. “It's not a bad fear, Tam. Being paranoid often can keep you alive and it is a nest of dragonlings we are going to walk into. Badly behaved and starved for mayhem. I know you do best with your fire and dangerous spells but if you are willing to try a bit in my preferred fashion?..I can teach you one that can be done staff less and mostly undetectable. It drains the strength from an opponent you are in contact with, if you are so worried. If not of course it is nothing..”

 

“Dorian? Thank you.” Tam cut off the rambling which would fast become bitter and self depreciating or overly puffed up to deflect the true generosity of what he was offering. Instead Tam went over and laced their fingers together, because he could. Because the look of wonder and the way Dorian would glance around the library to see if anyone was able to witness was a habit that Tam wished he had never needed to learn. “Truly. Thank you, for not laughing at me and my worries.”

 

“That I would _never_ do to you.” Came the promise before Dorian sighed, but under the drama was a genuine smile. “I suppose now is as good a time as any to learn, and it's not as though there was really much of interest in this silly novel anyways.”

 


	32. Chapter 32

AN: Got bronchitis at the same time as work picked up. Bad combination and drains you for a while but I'm back!

()()()()()()()()()

 

Under a bower of sapling trees in the heart of Skyhold's overgrown garden Solas slept as unmoving as if he were dead. Beside him, close but not touching, Tavaiya was on her side, the hand under her head curled over a small knife. Only so many things would she give up when it came to letting her guard down no matter how insistent Skyhold seemed to be in getting her to do so. By luck or perhaps even a sort of sentience on behalf of the ancient grounds they slept upon perhaps, no one came across them. It was late at night, but most of the population in the fortress suffered from poor slumber.

 

Unknowing, the two continued to traverse the scenery that Solas provided them within the Fade.

 

“Have you any request?” Solas's query was teasing, with a touch of that arrogant and dangerous tone he had when they were playing their game.

 

“Requests to see or..?”

 

“To see, little trickster. Though now I am curious.”

 

“Don't suppose you would indulge me and loose the tunic?” Tavaiya smirked at him and delighted in the startled expression that crossed Solas's features even as a laugh stole free.

 

“You are serious?”

 

“I happened to enjoy the view.”

 

“And I still do not know the extent of the ink you wear upon your skin.”

 

“If we are to begin _this_ game, Solas, I seem to recall you are already owing me.”

 

“~Ah, but Tavaiya, the pleasure is in the anticipation.~”

 

“/It is wretchedly unfair what you make that old language sound like./”

 

Solas chuckled and tugged on one of her freed curls, absentmindedly before smirking at her. “My specialization is in the Fade. I could show you the beginning and ending of civilization and cities alike, of the first steps of monsters and the last breath of common folk. The Fade and all of history is my preferred place to dwell Tavaiya. Ask of me what you wish to see, and I can make it happen. Bid me to create a place or scene out of whole cloth merely from patchwork imagination and I can in ways to dazzle your senses.”

 

“Show me something you've enjoyed seeing more than once.”

 

As once more she side stepped what Solas had expected her to ask, he could but indulge the simple wish. It was perhaps far less impressive than she thought but around them the world shifted to a simple location far to the north. Not so far from a humble village she would never see though if she stumbled across it when awake there would be mere ruins at best these days. The winding paths were from deer and that which hunted it, with a den of wolves nearby lazing out upon the great stones. “In my youth, I came to observe them often in the wilderness. I learned a great deal from them, truthfully. When the world and all the petty squabbles of men wearied me I came back to these early days as a sort of..meditation I suppose.”

 

“I'm always surprised by how fluffy they are for such capable fighters.” Tavaiya grinned up at him. “Look at them, compared to a mabari they seem more like elegant and pampered little things but they're every bit as dangerous.”

 

“Fluffy.” Solas deadpanned before smirking and the scene changed again. Not that she could place where they were, it had not been a completely conscious choice as Solas leaned over her, bracing his forearm and elbow against the wall to bring their foreheads close. His free hand clasped her own and hers sought out the junction between neck and back behind his head automatically. This was a room that would have been in Skyhold in the original days, but he did not change their attire to reflect it. They stayed in their everyday gear and if anything Solas was more entertained at the thought. Appearing as trespassers in a land that would have even peasants dressed far more nobly than either of them. “You have so many eloquent and exotic words that could fall from your lips, and you choose something utterly childish. What am I to do with you?”

 

Her thumb trailing up and down the back of his neck Tavaiya smirked wickedly at him, not in the slightest concerned though her back was against the wall behind her. Nor did her eyes stray over the scene he had constructed save in brief to see and catalog the exits and ambush points in a way that was so flippant it was second nature to do so. “I seem to recall being promised to not be able to walk for three days.”

 

“Ah, but you _left._ ” Solas teased her but did not lessen nor increase the gap between their bodies. “Rejecting the offer as it were.”

 

“Tease.”

 

A rich chuckle as Solas leaned down to brush his lips over her ear followed his words. “Yes. Though you do seem to enjoy it.”

 

Tavaiya hummed briefly in response. “Rogues do tend to like things they shouldn't.”

 

“And we mages greatly enjoy the thrill of tracking down parts of a mystery. The enthralling thing about you, little trickster, is just how much you continue to surprise me.”

 

“Oh so it's the novelty that you like?”

 

“Fishing for compliments doesn't suit you.”

 

Tavaiya laughed and then _twisted_ and Solas found their situations reversed. Now her body was pressing his into the wall and she smirked at him, one hand fisted in his clothing by his hip and the other still holding onto his fingers. “Solas, I don't do such a thing. If I want something, I am perfectly capable of pursuing it. It just so happens what I crave most often is your company.”

 

“~You are attempting to change the game again my dear..~” Solas scolded her lightly, his eyes gleaming even as he smirked. Here in the fade mimicking his stronghold in the past, the very notion of Tavaiya putting Fen'Harel in the position he was in was almost..quaint. Perhaps then, as he was now, he would allow it simply because there was no doubt in his mind that much as he waited for her to set each new boundary, she did the same. It was a truly intricate dance they had, this drawing out of the inevitable that both sensed waiting in the wings. Barring one or the other having a drastic change of mind it was not a matter of if so much as when. Solas would have still found it easy enough to step back and break this all off, before so many small events. The talks back in Haven, the way they had read together in silence. The courting gifts and declaration and the innumerable nights together in the fade. Losing her before all of that would have been painful.

 

Now? The only way to save Tavaiya from the all consuming miasma Solas viewed himself to be in light of his past failures and history was to convince her to step away from him. Instead he pulled her closer with his freed hand and coiled it within her curls. The knowledge of what he should do, must do, was at odds with how he was acting.

 

“I wonder, is it just the Fade that makes you so dangerously bold here?”

 

“Elfroot.” Tavaiya countered with a smirk and raised eyebrow, the memory bringing a wicked grin to Solas's lips.

 

“Indeed. Quite..risky.”

 

“You enjoyed it.”

 

“I am completely in agreement.” Solas teased. “And had we not been interrupted I may have even attempted to return the favor. You were splayed upon my desk rather fetchingly.”

 

“Solas..” Tavaiya teased and then dropped her lips to kiss his neck softly. “Are you afraid? How unlike you. Stop doubting so much, hm?”

 

She wasn't referring to the physical acts or the teasing. His hands grasped her tight even as his magic went still under his control and the Fade seemed to freeze without movement or sound.

 

Tavaiya was making this easier on him. Going ahead, as she often did even in battle. Yielding the game to him in a way that would have her win at the same time. Let them both win without stopping the game at all.

 

“ _Bésame_. _”_

 

It was a moment of choice, one where he could allow this to draw out still in the ever spiraling games or end it. It would be so very easy, just to turn his head and place his lips upon her own. An announcement of the feelings he would not voice. A vulnerable spot in the armor.

 

A temptation to keep him from what _needed_ to be done. For all of his people, his atonement. The words choked from his throat even as he hated saying them.

 

“I..I can't.”

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all forgive me for the cliffhanger last time.

AN: Inspired by 'I would not lay with you under false pretenses'. Oh my god I've been holding this back a while waiting..like since the second chapter was written.

()()()()()()()

 

I can't.

 

The words struck at her painfully. Tavaiya used every ounce of self control she had to not make a sound even if she could not help her flinching in response. She'd asked, yielded. If not for her other sense telling her how very against his words he was, from the way his magic had lashed out and was all but rippling the scene around them at the edges she would have believed him. A part of her _did_ believe him regardless because what did it take to have this impossible male stop turning away from her when he clearly was just as invested as she was?

 

“Then don't.” She whispered against the skin of his throat, her head a little heavier where it was against his shoulder and her eyes closed tightly. She was a rogue however, and if Tavaiya was capable of anything it was being adaptable. She didn't know where the line was that Solas was toeing so firmly because the stubborn male was not one to talk about such boundaries. At this stage her heart was far too invested though to permit him to just take the cowards way out. She was courting him, would continue to court him for a long time still until they decided if they were after years together or not and if all but taking on a mission to find what it was that he'd permit her to do in being close to him was part of what he needed? Well she hadn't exactly fallen for Solas's simplistic demeanor, it was that very maddening complexity of the mage that constantly enthralled her and brought her back for more. All right. First step, figure out why it was 'I can't' not 'I won't.'

 

“Solas?” Tavaiya's lips moved against his shoulder even as he had dropped his head, cheek against hers. She could feel the undulating panic of his magic as he tried to force himself back under control as it had spiked sharply from his denial and again when she allowed him his refusal without recoiling away. But she did not want control. Control meant he was thinking and the man clearly thought too much!

 

“Solas.” She repeated and then sighed, tilting her chin slightly so her lips would move along his neck. “What troubles you is only yours to share if you ask. I am not insisting on anything even if I would _like_ you to do as I asked..”

 

“I..there are things you do not know.” And his hoarfrost pulled her closer, made her stifle a moan. She'd rather he didn't know about **all** his magic affecting her just yet. Especially not when she needed to have a clear head getting any information from him. “Nor can I tell you.”

 

“You don't have to.” Tavaiya pressed an open kiss to his neck and heard him groan, felt the spasm of his fingers on her hips and the intake of his breath. His power went still, so utterly still as if ready to break. It was one thing to dream, to have memories of a time they had been together in a future that would never come. That same future was long changed, and yet Tavaiya knew where she belonged. So perhaps she would voice it for him in a different way that perhaps he would be more accepting of. After all, they both liked to layer the games and intrigue over genuine interactions to protect themselves from feeling vulnerable.

 

“Keep your secrets Solas, I have my own. I have things I have done I'd never share but let me tell you this..” gently she nipped at his skin, so softly it was really more a kiss all on it's own. “I feel more comfort in your arms _now_ , than I ever did in those memories. I do not wish to leave your embrace.” She felt his frame start to tremble. He'd after all, witnessed that those versions of themselves had been close, close enough to suspect they were lovers more than not. Tavaiya had felt something that told her it could have been more in time. Perhaps was and she had not seen it. “I don't need to know your past, whom you have loved and where you have wandered unless you give that information of your own desire to share it with me. I'm not asking for anything more than you are willing to give.” She smiled then hoping it hid her bitter disappointment and sighed, pulling back so her frame was no longer trapping his against the wall. His eyes fiercely bright as he watched her, holding so very still. Thin ice a veneer over a lake. One misstep and she'd fall in and drown. It was a beautiful temptation. Who needed oxygen anyways?

 

“Only what you wish to give.” She repeated and then stepped back. Tavaiya moved so she could not see him. She would not pressure him. Even if giving him space was the last thing she wanted.

 

“... _Tavaiya_..”

 

She stopped, still facing away. Weight on the balls of her feet so she could move quickly. “Yes, Solas?”

 

“I cannot promise anything.”

 

“As a rogue, Solas..” And she turned around, blinking in surprise as he had moved without a sound to be right there, she hadn't sensed him. Not with his magic so silenced. When it unlocked from his control it was going to be devastating and she would exult in it. “As I have told you before, many a time...I don't ever expect even the next hour. You wouldn't know how often death has nearly claimed me just since we've met because it is so common I don't speak of it.”

 

Realization flashed in his eyes that it was far more often than just the times he had thought of that she could be forever lost to him, and Solas's control shattered. With it so did his magic flow again and her secret was out as Tavaiya moaned, trembling softly as the hoarfrost settled on her skin like melting snowflakes.

 

“...what is this?” And his voice was so certain again, so sure and smug and yet his fingers barely brushed along her jaw, ensuring she was looking at him. Watching her expression as he subtly flexed his control over the magic at his beckoning so much easier to control in the Fade. Tavaiya didn't hold back her gasp as the hoarfrost curled along her spine making her arch. “You've been keeping secrets..”

 

“I have mine.” She agreed and Solas paused, considering, before he reached a decision.

 

If she'd thought she'd sensed his magic before, it paled in the array that consumed her now. His lips trailed over her ears and his hands pulled her closer, humming softly in his throat. “Curiously sensitive to far more than just my heal craft it seems. And _very_ pleasant to watch..tell me to stop, Tavaiya..”

 

He knew she wouldn't. Instead she chuckled and shifted, pulling him closer. Leg lifting to clasp around his hip in clear invitation. “Stop holding back, Solas.”

 

“When..” Solas paused then and sounded regretful. “When we are not in the Fade..”

 

“Why?” And she twisted her fingers in his garment, enjoying the shudder along his frame as her lips returned to his neck.

 

The attempt to dissuade her was lousy at best and utterly a lie, she wouldn't have even needed her sense of his magic to tell. “Ah, demons may be attracted..”

 

“Can't we deal with them?”

 

“...did you actually just suggest that?” Solas sounded incredulous, but as if he was trying very hard not to laugh.

 

“How many have we sent back to the fade? Or is it..” And here Tavaiya smirked, nipping him again just to hear that tiny gasp he made. It seemed Solas enjoyed the biting. “That you don't think you'd have the concentration for it? You didn't have a problem before when teasing me.”

 

“If you think for a moment I would wish to focus on anything other than a warm and apparently very willing woman in my hold..especially when I have so many favors to repay.” Though he could not do such things here, if he dared he would lose any ability to keep his secrets. Already the amount of magic he was holding at bay was causing him strain. It was in the Fade that Solas was most himself as he had been and his self control whilst a thing of legends, did little when it was his own mind and desires that shaped the Fade. The truth was on the tip of his tongue and he dared not let it out.

 

“But not here?”

 

“Regretfully..” And he sounded controlled but his magic was still seeming to draw her closer. It was entirely distracting.

 

“I suppose I'll have to settle for dreaming memories of another form of you..and wonder..” Tavaiya stated calmly, her grin a wicked thing but it was entertaining. She could let him know a little of what she had kept secret from that future that would never happen now. “A pity I won't remember when awake..I'll need to relearn everything that we both enjoy, everywhere you like to be touched and how. The expressions and sounds..I do enjoy it when you are vocal..and the feel of your teeth upon my skin..” The scenery flickered and she heard a curse before the Fade seemed to alter fully into nothingness as her body gasped from some delightful sensation.

 

Solas had bitten her shoulder.

 

Tavaiya's eyes flew open but there she was, laid out on the grass where she'd taken a nap while Solas was exploring the fade. There at Skyhold with her guard down. Awake. Apparently night had drifted closer to midnight and the stars were still out judging from the chill but that was hoarfrost and..

 

Solas was still biting her gently. He'd woken her up that way. Lips trailing over her throat and hand sliding down her side. Elvhen being pressed into her skin as he spoke. Her eyes fluttered and she arched beneath him feeling his magic surrounded them so completely likely no one would even know they were there.

 

“Solas.”

 

“/I would take you here, but I think I would enjoy seeing you fall apart from my magic even more..knowing I had caused you to be so ruined. To look at this garden no matter how many times over the coming ages it is built and once more made into something else, long after it has fallen to rubble and cast my thoughts to you beneath me../”

 

“Solas...”

 

A soft chuckle against her flesh. “Going to tell me to stop?” It was smug, knowing, delighted. Instead Tavaiya laughed back and twisted, leaning over him as he was now on his back, her hair falling around them. His fingers having tugged the band free and setting the curls around them. He did seem fond of her hair loose.

 

“Why would I want you to stop?”

 

“Because I will not cease until you cannot even remember your own name..” He said with a wicked promise to his voice.

 

“I _know_.”

 

Something inside Solas eased. Yes, she knew. She had memories of being with him locked away under the surface and would know what he was like, he did not have to approach this entirely as if she was naïve. Her games and teasing until this moment was partly from that surety, comfortable in her fear of this growing between them. He could do no less. “Tell me?” He wanted to hear from her lips, to know he had permission. He still would never act against someone in such a way. He would be unable to let her know whom it was she was bringing into her embrace fully but she was willing to blindfold herself for it. And Solas could curse himself over being just a man, but with her there it seemed madness to refuse what they both desired. More, he _knew_ they weren't promised another day. Had seen it in her memories and his own. Had thought her fallen at Haven. Again so soon after when Leliana had confessed a lack of word while they had been traipsing through the Fallowmire.

 

He _could_ lose her. He had once, though she bore the memories and not himself, the simple realization that by the time he reclaimed his orb she could be gone? It was excruciating.

 

“Solas.” She finally spoke, as if aware of when he was not so distracted. “I come to your side, willingly.” She brushed her lips over his jaw, so faintly it was almost not sensed. Not a kiss but a promise of one in the future. “Let me stay?”

 

“/Forgive me..but I will never let you go now../” And curiosity helped light his fingers with mage craft, watching as she threw her head back in a soft moan and fell fully into his arms unable to hold herself off his chest any more. It did not deter Solas from continuing to tease her with his powers and instead he turned so once more he was pinning her to the earth, trapping her with his own body but savoring the view she gave him. Raw magic, ungraceful as it was, moved through his hands as he traced them over her. Tavaiya did not hold back her cries of pleasure entirely unashamed. It was a wondrous sight, this rogue entirely trusting _him_ , trusting his _magic_ as it moved over and through her in undulations. Solas sank deeper into that long untouched primal source of his power that surged forth as though it had always been meant to go into her slight frame though he was too distracted by the view to question the ease of it doing so. This was not magic that created crystal spires and the veil but the earliest forms of his power. Unfiltered and personal and it flowed to Tavaiya with an eagerness he felt returned as she moved her own hands over his form. Both of them still clothed.

 

“Solas...” She had breathed naught but his name so many times already that evening it made him chuckle.

 

“Have I stolen your words from you so soon?”

 

“Mmm you wish words?” Tavaiya purred at him and then drew him closer, his forehead against hers in that fashion Solas was starting to realize she meant as a greater intimacy than the meeting of lips. “Shall I tell you then..of the taste of your magic upon my tongue? Honeywine and herbs..that has deepened from the softer white wine tastes, crisp apples and currants when first we met to a richer aged red wine, a wassail with spices long simmering and ripening the brew.”

 

She felt Solas quiver then, the hesitation where before had been boldness. This was not just lust and she continued, because there was a deep hunger and the softest flutter she felt against the right side of her chest where normally something burned as if it was finally easing up with the fluctuation of his powers. He was allowing himself this, and it spurred her to keep talking. If he needed an explanation she would give it to him later. But it seemed that he responded so very well to her vocalization, then it could be yet another courting gift.

 

“In touch, I feel hoarfrost..comforting for all it is colder than the snow was when knee deep at Haven. It settles in curls and prismatic forms I can sense and swear I can almost see, it curves around my wrist, my spine, like an extension of you. When I seek you out I look for the draw of your power, as strong as the sinew in your arms, trapping me all too willingly against your side..It's how I found you, seeking out the traces of what I can only think of as you altering the very space you occupy wherever you go.”

 

“Tavaiya..” And his voice was a low growl, warning as he shifted slightly so she could feel that he very much physically enjoyed what he was hearing.

 

“Do you wish _me_ to stop?”

 

His teeth scraped along her neck and she shuddered with a cry at the pleasure even as his magic built up and echoed within her. “No.”

 

“Are you certain?” She teased but she was also warning him. For if she shared everything she would not just be left behind, never would he be able to pretend this had not occurred. He would be acknowledging that there was something between them for certain. “We are not in the fade..” It would not be so easy for him to side step.

 

Solas lowered his forehead to hers again, repeating her action with his eyes locked to her own and his mouth formed a pledge to give her warning in his lowest most dangerous tone. “One more explanation, and I will see just to what heights my magic can take you without physical touch until you lose consciousness and fall so deeply into slumber you cannot enter the Fade..”

 

“Hm. Explanation can wait. Would you like to find that out now?” She was curious and eager, it was not something that they'd the luxury of in her memories and the suddenly strangled sound in his throat, the way he shivered. “Did you just get so worked up..really? From the _idea?_ ” She giggled though, he'd already caused her to lose control earlier to the point Tavaiya felt ready to scream if something hadn't eased up soon and yet her body was still demanding more, she hadn't expected him to do the same. Apparently he was that close to needing some sort of relief but the humor of the situation was easing her own hormones a little, and clearly his own judging from the laugh she heard.

 

“...It may be an old fantasy of mine.” He confessed and there was such an unashamed boyish grin to his face now that Tavaiya felt she was looking at a far younger man. “One I confess, I never was able to discover if it was possible..”

 

“Your room or mine? Or shall we be like animals out here in the garden where any could walk by?”

 

She had the pleasure of seeing Solas both abashed, and looking far too eager. “I have to choose?”

 

Tavaiya chuckled enjoying the absolute lightness to his magic right now as if he'd forgotten everything else save the two of them. “Only where to begin.”

 

“I'm more interested in drawing out an ending..” He slipped back into a suggestive voice and Tavaiya huffed, looking at him.

 

“Solas. You're a tease.”

 

“Guilty.” He agreed but had almost entirely pulled back his magic, just tracing her neck with his fingertips. “...I would like..” Another silence before he shook his head. “You have the advantage of memories.”

 

“I'll share them with you, but I'd rather make new ones.” To remind him she shifted her hips and heard his curse. “Forgot what we were doing already?”

 

“It's been a long time.” He admitted. “I'd rather not disappoint.”

 

“If you do, you can make it up to me. Besides I thought..” That if she had given one more explanation. Oh. Oh he was sneaky. He gave a wicked grin, steel eyes dancing as he saw she'd caught on.

 

“Not at your best when _distracted_ , are you, little trickster?”

 

Tavaiya growled then, her body was demanding some sort of ending instead of this constant working up they were doing. Something far more tangible. She was honestly tempted to threaten going to find someone else but the lie wouldn't even form. She didn't want anyone else. Tavaiya had never wanted anyone as she did Solas. Who had confessed a fantasy. Well he never said what the explanation had to be on.

 

“In one memory..recall the questioning against the tree..when you were healing me?” And right then with her all but drowned in the sense of Solas and Skyhold enhancing it, the memories were real and there as never before. Her subconscious eagerly providing them as easily as when in the Fade.

 

“Yes.” He breathed, pupils blown.

 

“It wasn't the first time we coupled in the woods to steal time only for ourselves where any could have walked up and seen.”

 

Tavaiya suddenly experienced being Fade Stepped into his room and threw back her head in a laugh, only to have it stolen by a pair of lips caressing her own.

 

Solas had initiated a kiss.

 

_...Oh..._

 

Slowly hands glided over each other as the pace changed. From teasing and taunting, trying to test to make the other break first to keep their own footing in the game as they had earlier into something soft and gentle. Familiar. Neither of them allowed questioning to break through the suddenly idyllic haze as kisses that were entirely new were overladen with half remembered moments from a future that had never been.

 

Past and future entwined and after a while, in the unlit room where they could only feel and not see, neither was thinking at all.

 

()()()()()()()()()()

 

Tavaiya opened her eyes in the Fade, only to find Solas there waiting, his arms around her from behind and lips against her shoulder. She had not even begun to dream so swiftly had he pulled her into his own. Smiling, with a faint tremor down her spine, Tavaiya turned to meet him in a kiss.

 

“That was perhaps..” Solas began as he pulled away from it after only a moment, though he kept his arms locked in place around her waist. “More forward than I intended.”

 

“Surely not all of it?”

 

“I..” Solas paused and then shook his head. “You had said yourself, kissing is not something done lightly. I would care to respect that.”

 

He needed time to process that this was more than just being lovers, it was one thing to find comfort in the union of their bodies but Solas almost felt panic at the idea of having pushed too far too soon. After all it had been his doing to kiss her. So afraid of forcing the younger woman into something she was not ready for he was ignoring as best he could, the way he was holding her all the tighter. Trying to do what he felt was correct when he knew what awaited him versus what he actually desired.

 

“Going to make me earn each one are you?” Tavaiya asked, keeping it light. She could sense the nauseating spirals of the honeywine as it soured, more vinegar like. What reason Solas had to constantly feel he needed to punish himself for any joy he found was only her business if he shared it.

 

“Earn..?”

 

“You see, _corazon,_ I may not have initiated the first kiss..but I remember returning them. Many, many times..all over your flesh and the favor being returned.”

 

“Tavaiya, I do not..”

 

“Stop talking. Start feeling, Solas. You were doing very well for hours.” Tavaiya crooned and her form was half sideways now in his hold, a hand pulling his neck towards her. “ _B_ _é_ _same.”_

 

A soft sigh, as the grip on her tightened. “I am attempting to not pressure you into anything.”

 

“I liked the pressure. And the positions it was utilized in.” Tavaiya said with a crooked smile before she simply shook her head. “Solas, if you had forgotten, I asked to court you. I am not done doing so.”

 

“Perhaps it is not the best of ideas..” One last attempt, to save them both future pain, and yet here in the Fade he could already remember the taste of her skin beneath his tongue, the way she moved with him.

 

“Does that matter? I want you, Solas. In all the ways you are willing to give. Not just in a tangle of limbs and cries as we find the 'little death' but in the hours we spend reading together. In the ways you like to tell me of your escapades and hear of my own, as we are now. There is _more_ to be found here than just what songs our bodies can learn together.”

 

“I will take everything from you, until there is nothing left.” He warned her, tried to frighten her off but Tavaiya chuckled, as if she was the master of the Fade here and not Solas.

 

“You also give, _corazon_. This is no half measure, never has been, not even in our games. When we began it I saw none but you, wished to dream of no other. I had not the slightest idea of what dreams I would eventually have to visit and I would not change them. This is terrifying, that I can admit, but only because I have never been enjoying the level you consume my thoughts and seem to enthrall my senses. I did warn you, Solas..” Tavaiya smiled then and moved to kiss him this time, soft and gently, where he could pull away if he wanted.

 

Instead he pulled her closer all but devouring her in his return kiss. The memory of his touch was almost put to shame anew as Solas finally yielded.

 

“I look forward then, to earning and stealing kisses from each other..ma Vhenan.” Solas whispered against her lips before tilting her jaw up to kiss Tavaiya breathless.

 

In time this may destroy them, but for now she was with him in every way and the truth could no longer be ignored. He'd handed over his heart a long time ago into her keeping and never realized that her own was in it's place, how like his rogue.

 

 

 


	34. Fluffy interlude

AN: Short filler FLUFFY chapter as I got super busy. Solas POV

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The softest brush of lips. Gentle and barely felt.

 

Solas was used to Tavaiya wakening before he was ready to leave the Fade by this point. As much as when traveling she would never sleep deeply enough for him to pull her into his company, it was the rogue's habit to be up in the pre-dawn hours to spar with Cassandra so finding himself alone was not unfamiliar.

 

Neither was that ever so faint stolen kiss that would rouse him to wakefulness. It was almost another game, could he stir before she was out the door, locking it behind her?

 

That first morning after when he had a kiss stolen from him as a morning's wake up call he had been amused. Tavaiya already dressed once more and stealing from him the sight he had not yet had the luxury of seeing her without the darkened room impeding what otherwise his fingers and mouth mapped as flesh. It was for instance, amusing to know _where_ she had piercings and tattoos due to the slight difference in texture on her skin but not have seen them.

 

Almost a week had passed and they had not lain together again due to one reason or another as they prepared for the event of an Orleisian mockery for the Empresses amusement. That first morning in Skyhold he had brought his hand up to cup her cheek, pleased when she turned to press another kiss to his wrist. It was soft, intimate without being carnal. Lethal to the fluttering of his pulse. He'd healed her but not said a word, knowing she would be off to meet with Cassandra and did not need any lingering soreness in her muscles. Laughter and dancing eyes had been his reward before she slipped out and he heard the picks actually lock the door behind her.

 

He'd found the booby trap by walking into it when finally leaving his room later. It had not occurred to him that a rogue may do so as a sort of lock not trusting in one they could so easily handle.

 

Just that day alone he had not seen his rogue again, Solas being far too busy delving into research and checking against books he could potentially acquire while they were once more in Val Royeaux. Various companions had passed by, snippets of conversation forgotten and recalled as they all hurried for last moment arrangements before beginning to set out in groups for various tasks.

 

On the road Solas had not been surprised in the slightest to see Cassandra and Tavaiya still content to share a tent, or that Tam and Dorian were sharing their own. He certainly had no complaints about having one to himself. Especially not when Solas found it easy to tease Tavaiya by attempting to pull her into a dream just long enough to steal a kiss. After all, at his age, Solas knew quite a bit about teasing.

 

Though they made good time riding, it was the small things that told Solas this would not descend into a passionate tryst of a relationship. One which had the urges of coupling become the foremost aspect of the pair and would in the end burn out. A spectacular if doomed event.

 

Indeed the very fact that Solas now knew Tavaiya and she him, in ways far more intimate physically seemed more an afterthought. A part that had occurred, doubtless at some point would once more. Instead however, it was the herbs that found their way in his pack when she'd been out scouting. The fact that when they sat at the fire for breakfast or dinner the closeness of her body heat mixed with his own. When he noticed she was sore from using her bow when the bandits had been particularly out in force for a day, his fingers gently tracing along her arm letting his magic soothe the pain. That it always amused Solas to watch her sigh in clear delight at the feel of his magic also never ceased to intrigue him. There were a thousand little signs before and now that clued into her peculiarity made sense but it did not lessen the fasciantion he had with her. And of course, there were the endearments which if those they traveled with noticed, did not bring attention to.

 

Solas could admit when she spoke Antivan, it was a very sensual delight for him and _corazón_ had become as enthralling to hear as his young self had exulted in having the fearsome moniker of Fen'Harel whispered as he passed. Likewise, the very right he had to call her Vhenan, to steal a kiss if he could, guessing easily their new game of never being caught being affectionate and if their companions suspected them of being as close as they were never providing proof..that made Solas easily forget he was anything other than what he pretended to be. A humble wandering apostate who specialized in the Fade.

 

While the traveled perhaps, had begun this game of waking Solas with a kiss for Tavaiya enjoyed the pre-dawn watch shift. He could not of course, sneak into her tent when it was his turn as hers was shared but it did not lessen the slight challenge of waking before she could slip away.

 

Even now, seperate rooms as they had with his thankfully not shared with Tam or his Tevinter paramour, Tavaiya had slipped in to steal her kiss of the morning from him. But now, now there were not tents and light sleeping ears within fifteen feet and Solas wasted no time twisting to pin her beside him, the laughing blue of her eyes as entertained as his own must look no doubt.

 

“Good morning. Or is it even morning, yet?”

 

“A little earlier.” Tavaiya agreed and Solas chuckled.

 

“And is there a reason to steal me from the Fade so early?” Solas drawled, the millenia falling away from his shoulders as once more he felt nothing but contentment, awareness of this moment and only this moment. It was a strange and heady sensation, even as he could almost sense a sort of echo of the emotions Tavaiya must be feeling. As if proximity alone to his magic could let him glean more an insight to the tricky rogue.

 

“You're quite beautiful when asleep.” Tavaiya answered matter of fact and Solas raised a brow. He took no umbrage at being called beautiful. He certainly was not classically handsome and quite aware that his looks were more unusually striking than the more common ethereal cast of many of his race.

 

“Perhaps as a rogue your views are skewed, certainly they are most biased.”

 

“Oh they are.” Tavaiya grinned at him and then her hand was stroking his jaw and Solas watched, fascinated as ever seeing her guard down as the rogue then smiled at him playfully. “Come with me. It's before the watch changes over and the sunrise is spectacular from the rooftops.”

 

“I cannot remember the last time I climbed on a roof..” Solas said amused. Once more she surprised him, he'd rather expected to be beguiled or seduced now that he had a room to himself and they the time, but Tavaiya _had_ insisted it was more the quiet moments together that she wanted more of and he truly should know to trust she meant what she said by now. “I may not do well at it.”

 

“Is there anything you cannot do that you set your mind to?” Tavaiya teased but made no move to break free of his arm pinning her to his side. Solas canted his head in agreement. Oh he perhaps _failed_ often enough at his plans, but that was life. Even now with the urge to forget everything and follow this quickling trapped to his side until the end of her days he never forgot his true goals and purpose. It was arrogant of him, yes, and he could admit that his name of Solas was a very fitting one but the simple belief that she had in his will was nonetheless gratifying in a way the thousand of sycophants he once had never could be.

 

“Are you certain there's not other things you'd rather do?” Solas asked to tease her, fulling intending to not go through on his coming offer but he wanted her to be as affected as he so often was. “I am after all, not sleeping in anything..and we've no one else in the room..”

 

Tavaiya laughed and then pulled him in to touch their foreheads together, that strangely intimate and sweet gesture she did instead of kiss so often when she was feeling strongly. “Tempting as you are, I wish you to see the sun crest over Val Royeaux and the way the city wakens. It is the most beautiful time for it.”

 

“Very well.” Solas acquiesced and slid from the bed, a sly grin tossed over his shoulder as he caught the leer on Tavaiya's face turning into laughter as she saw he was actually in his breeches.

 

“Tease.”

 

“Only for you, ma Vhenan.”

 


	35. Chapter 35

AN: Grandma is in seventh stage of Alzheimers. Have been helping out with her. Had nothing left to put towards trying to write.

()()()()()()()()

 

For all the humor involved in actually scaling up the side of the overly luxurious inn they were residing in, after all Solas had not climbed anything in such a fashion for centuries at _least_ ; it didn't take long. One positive to the Orlesian architecture was most assuredly the overly gaudy and ornamented walls made for hand and foot holds a plenty.

 

His stung pride over the easily heard giggling of Tavaiya, the mischievous rogue beside him helping him locate each said hand or foot hold as she scaled up like a lizard with effort that did not betray the sheer power in her muscles to make it seem so fluid? Well it could be forgiven. Especially once they were situated atop the ostentatious roof pressed from thigh to shoulder together and the sky began to paint itself into a myriad of colors that had been sending artists to frustration trying to mimic since time immemorial.

 

It took no longer than the first lightening of the pitch black sky bleeding into various purple and rose hues to explain the eagerness to leave the bed behind and show him something Tavaiya thought he would enjoy. Indeed, the sudden catch to Solas's breath and the tightening of his hands around staff and her hip alike betrayed easily the riveted attention of the apostate mage.

 

There was _nothing_ like Orlais when the sun rose.

 

Overly decorated it may be but when the sunrise displayed it's majesty with all the sheen of the most decorated court flower it turned polished marble and limestone, gold and mosaics strewn with statues and gargoyles and relief castings at every turn into a living quicksilver changing image. Every time she blinked the subtle differences in the colors altered the way shadows were cast and what had once seemed a gray wall turned into blues and greens as the various buildings reflected off one another. Prismatic forms given a grace and splendor their owners likely were never even awake enough to see.

 

“You know me well.” Solas murmured into her ear, eyes never leaving the private showcase of nature proving it owned even these buildings where had once only been dust and dung filled bazaars, someday to be reclaimed by the earth and worn once more into naught but dust. But for now? Now it was splendid and beyond words for an artist whom sought the simple and melding of color and form instead of fiddly details. This was a gift all it's own from Tavaiya, and it made Solas tighten his hold against her waist. So, the courtship _did_ continue. In truth he had worried it would fade upon utterance of affection and yet the company they had kept on the journey over had not given him a way to taunt and tease as he had so come to enjoy. Were those games to vanish entirely it would have been a great disappointment as much as he enjoyed the new ones coming forth.

 

He should have known better.

 

Tavaiya gave no answer save for the trailing of her hair along his jaw as she rested her head against his shoulder to watch the dawn.

 

When they finally ventured down once more, Solas setting foot back inside first he noted the lack of padding footsteps behind him. Silent as his rogue may be she could not entirely hide her passage from his ears and so Solas turned, a brow raised and lips parted to question her.

 

A filigree tarnished golden mask sat across the upper half of her face in the namesake Jackal even as a teasingly sly grin pulled her lips into showing just a hint of her teeth.

 

Oh.

 

Hm. He rather _liked_ her mask. No small thought stole through his mind then as he licked his lips, catching her eyes following the motion. What would it sound like, feel like, hearing her speak Antivan when so clearly in the role of the Jackal even as he once had borne the mantle of Fen'Harel across his frame?

 

“Going somewhere, Vhenan?” And yet for the first time he wondered at the curious lack of..he did not wish to hear her repeat the term. Not in Elvhen. He was indeed it seemed _most_ fond of her Antivan affections towards his person. Even if some sounded a touch trite not understanding the translation as well as he wished it mattered little to him.

 

“Pleasure does not take precedence over _work_ , Corazon. In order to earn my place here I do need to get back to keeping my reputation in the minds of the nobles.”

 

The words are said kindly but sear Solas to his core for is he not delaying much of what he needs to do, must do for what remains of The People? Yet, what can he do whilst his anchor is leeching off the life force of a young man who does them such credit for all his upbringing? Whilst Corypheus wanders about in possession of an item which he used to focus his power when magic was as easy as breathing and that at his control would sunder mountains with the same effort he now expends to grasp the window frame near his lover?

 

“I cannot delay you?” He is curious as to her answer. His own. Thoughts torment him awake for his spends as many of his slumbering hours cleaving to this quickling rogue as he can. Building a fortress of memories that must last him all his remaining days.

 

“You could.” The confession is with a wicked smile and dancing eyes yet her body language is so subtly different it intrigues Solas. So slightly held apart, flirtatious and distant even as her tone and movements are beguiling. Perhaps the 'Jackal' has almost become a separate persona for her as Fen'Harel did for him, consuming him in time. Yet she is but a quickling and not millennium into the game. The mask can still be set aside far more easily for Tavaiya.

 

With little effort, indeed Tavaiya does not do more than move her eyes to watch as his hand shifts from the window frame to grasp tightly the curls at the back of her skull and pull her into a heated kiss. It is demanding, tongue against tongue and a parting of lips to press teeth to the tender flesh. Soft pants turn into muffled moans as Solas moves, chests firmly against each other as he tugs on her hair. An entreaty. A demand.

 

The part of him that recalls being Fen'Harel, which weaves many private fantasies of _then_ but filled with Tavaiya in them wonders if she would respond well to commands? Would she yield, turn them against him with flirtatious laughter and that predatory gait and smile she sports?

 

He pulls back just enough to lock his own eyes to hers and growls. “Come with me.” It's not a question. Indeed the layers of meaning are thick and deeper than he wishes to examine for he does not mean _now._

 

Instead there is a laugh before she presses a softer kiss to his lips, unyielding in her perch. He won a delay, but only a short one.

 

Solas knows there will be more of the party arriving that day in preparation to storm the Winter Palace in but two days time, not long enough at all to finish all the fools errands they have been set, and cheats by tightening his hold, staff clattering to the ground as his other hand comes to cup her jaw with a soft trilling of that healing magic he's noticed affects her like wine in how it soothes and loosens her muscles. The moan that meets him is positively sinful, as is the unexpected but familiarly haunting sensation of awareness as she almost seems to echo his magic back at him if so faintly his mind barely catches it.

 

Unfortunately it is distracting enough he doesn't realize she's slipped from his grasp until he feels the slide of leather from her gear against his hand where curls were and catches the kiss swollen lips pulled into a wider wicked smile.

 

“{Tempting as you are, my dearest. Not now.}” With a laugh she twists out the window, hauling herself up with an ease that quickens his pulse at the showcase of her flexibility when they have so _little_ experimenting done and all in the dark on a single evening..

 

“Tavaiya.” Solas warns, not in the mood to be teased. Not when the winter palace confrontation looms in his thoughts from his spies. He is running out of _time_ to share with his rogue. His heart. There is a fear that lurks in memories he cannot grasp from the Time that never was, the phantom sensation of horror when she perished in his arms and the sudden loss. He cannot focus on that now because he has yet to think of a way to not lose her. Not when his secrets come out to be seen before her eventually, and they must come to light soon if this relationship is to grow. Or perish. He cannot simply end it all and leave, she has proven to not be willing to allow that. Nor does he feel he could do such a thing to one who has been beside him, so entirely unique in his experiences.

 

“Tonight, Solas.” her voice calls out to him and despite himself the ancient elf feels himself smiling.

 

A woman who just went along with whatever pace he set would not have been a proper match for him, after all. Why does it surprise him that she refuses him even now? That does not of course, mean he cannot make her regret doing so.

 

Memories of how she reacted when he wore that fur cloak and could no entirely resist acting as the Evanarius he once was steal across Solas's thoughts. Perhaps. Just perhaps, he can test the waters in playing a few games like before with his rogue. If she can rise up to the challenge enough he will not attempt to turn her away if when he goes to walk a path that would break him to have her witness, she chose to walk beside.

 

After all, he has yet to truly engage the Jackal in such a battle of intrigue.

 


	36. Chapter 36

AN: Just a reminder of how much of this I am completely making up because I never was able to get DAI to play on my pathetic little laptop...Also because for some reason my sister thinks I should mention it, I don't have a nice neat little outline. I have moments and ideas how they will react to them and have to make up everything in between with no idea how to get from one to the other. For instance, I have ideas for the Nightmare demon in the Fade, the Well of sorrows, The ball coming..and all the rest of this I'm like well how do I get there?

()()()()()()()()()()

 

Many of the inner circle were trickling in over the next few days. Truthfully Tam was relieved as this meant that not only did he have time to adjust to the sheer chaos that he and his party tended to inflict on various locations simply by existing, but that ideally there was an adjustment period for him personally. Such as to the small and not so small fact that Orlais was a fiddly culture with so many nuances and methods to insult a person, or pay compliments, or backhanded elaborate compliments that could ruin a person...

 

It was all quite a bit much.

 

Dorian was his saving grace. The man who had become his beloved even before his lover was patient and explaining in methods that while often humorously bordering on offensive, made far more sense to the Dalish inquisitor. Though how in Thedas Dorian had figured out to compare the courtly 'cliques' to herds of Halla Tam had not the slightest. Numerous tasks kept seeming to appear before him as well. Everything from passing letters, tracking down books, there was a fairly memorable event whilst in the grand University where he was half certain he'd just helped an entire student body either start a cult or elope by proxy.

 

Honestly with the masks? No way to know.

 

Fortunately if anything, the notes he found in his gear from Tavaiya and the conversations she had pulled him into as they traveled here set his mind immensely at ease. Clearly at some point she and Dorian had put their heads together, as his Tevinter Altus did not blink one perfect lash out of order that Tam pulled out the notes and consulted them. Mostly they were child's level works. Vague reminders that gender and decency were as easily concealed as the faces beneath the masks. The meanings behind different hues and construction materials. Ways to safely address everyone in the equivalents of Ser and Serrah that were in the native tongue so even if he blundered horribly they would just sniff and look the other way because at least he was attempting it in the language belonging to Orlais.

 

Also, Dorian mutilating Orlesian accents was something in an entirely new level of laughing so hard one cried. Not once did Tam doubt that his lover did that just to make him forget for a moment the immense task of the looming ball coming towards them with every passing candlemark. The concept of coming early, getting a feel for the way the whirls and eddies of life here happened, was a genius maneuver that had Josephine all over it. He was no longer startling at someone speaking Orleisan words any more when addressing him before they would switch to common. In a way, it was not, entirely, so unlike when the clans would have their massive meetings and the tiny alterations in how various Dalish spoke and had experienced the breadth of Thedas made it almost new dialects themselves.

 

With so much to concern himself with it was really not much of a surprise that it was well into the afternoon before Tam realized that his hahren had been missing since they returned from lunch. Though Tam wanted most dearly to show Solas a tome he had just run across, once more in the University for a side errand, it was shrugged off easily. Not as though Solas didn't frequently have his own agenda when it came to research that Tam could simply confess towards as boring. He would just have to bring him by another time.

 

()()()()()()()()()

 

As it happened, Solas had simply been abducted.

 

Well it had not been a simple matter. Not if his senses were telling him anything. He gave outwardly no sign of being awake, uncertain as to the long term effects of whatever had been used to render him so swiftly unconscious. Nothing he had ever come across before, that much was assured. He did not even recall an attack, dodging a few common ruffians in the street as he meandered back after Tam and Dorian towards the library, well aware Cassandra was off doing whatever she was to try and work her comradeship with the local chevalier's into something of use for the coming event.

 

Wait.

 

The ruffians.

 

As they streamed past him, in a hurry to escape some masked men cursing at them he had felt a pinch along his arm. Sharp. Sudden. Whatever had been done to him must have been then.

 

“No wonder you caught such attention.” Comes a voice, sultry and rich it is a low alto of a woman. A heavy accent that tugs at Solas's slightly drugged mind still as familiar. “Oh do cease playing asleep, you twitched you know.”

 

Solas ever so slowly lifts his head. He is not playing wandering apostate right now, if anything he will act the part of an 'agent' of Fen'Harel. Because anyone capable of seeing the most minute of bodily twitches when he worked so very hard to hide any tells of his form ages ago is one to be wary of. This is not looking so much like a ransom or botched job.

 

“Much better.” The voice continues and a woman strides into the light where Solas is tied -effectively- to the chair he is on. It is perhaps a small comfort that the chair is at least cushioned and not sending his legs to sleep. She is in a deep brown dress, layers and shawl hiding any defining crest that may have been upon her bodice. Long sleeves, and a completely covered face mask that seems as plain white with but a few tiny blue and violet diamonds running around the brows, with purple where the false lips are. A headdress of sorts folds back from it in matching brown fabric and Solas realizes not a scrap of skin is showing on this woman. Even her hands are in gloves, as shown when she taps a lace fan against her mask.

 

“Silent are you? No questions for me?”

 

Solas sees no reason to answer. He had learned most people will talk if you do not fill the void in the air, instinctively adverse to the sound of silence and eager to replace it with words. This time, however, his captor merely waits, that little fan going 'tap tap' a few times more against her mask.

 

It becomes a game, who can hold out the longest. Whatever the woman hopes to get from him however she will be disappointed, for Solas lived in an era where one would watch a single flower grow and bloom and fade away to while away a good year or more in the manner these quicklings turn to their books.

 

She settles gracefully into a nearby chair, her fan occasionally tapping at her mask. And in silence, the two merely stare.

()()()()()()()

 

Sera is many things. There's a whole lot about herself she dislikes, or is not proud of. There are even more she is, it's part of being alive and stuck with who and what you are and making the best of it. But she cannot deny the joy of re-entering Val Royeaux which for so long was her home. This is where she really began to make a name for herself. Where the others started calling themselves Red Jenny and things were small, very small, but still _changes_ it meant something. Sera likes meaning something.

 

And so when there the first thing she does after checking in with the others is scramble up the roofs and breathes the strange smokey air that is swept clean before you finish inhaling. The sky feels close enough to touch on some of those buildings and up on the 'Theives Highway' Sera feels much more at home.

 

She loves the Inquisiton, don't get her wrong. They're good people and Tam's a bit too elfy but since he's started letting the Vint into his heart and bed he's been mellowing out. Not that she still doesn't shudder at their magic because people just shouldn't be able to do _that_ but Tavaiya had pointed out once playfully and Varric agreed that most thought Rogues and their stealth and such was a sort of magic. Weirdos.

 

But still, the Inquisition is doing so many wonderful things. The sort of things Sera dreamed of being a part of but never thought a little _**nothing**_ like her ever could. She wouldn't change it for the whole of Thedas at her feet.

 

That doesn't mean being back and feeling that odd sense of knowing exactly what is going to happen and the lack of snobby Elvhen Glory there trying to convince her to sit and get in touch with the earth and going all mystical woo woo on her isn't fucking awesome. Because here she knows what to do and she's going to help her clumsy friends get ready for this stupid event that she still needs to come up with a snicker worthy entrance name for. That means working and there's no _time._

 

Eagerly Sera delves back into the contacts she knows and it doesn't surprise her in the least when a few of the jobs she asks about are taken.

 

“Sorry Red, Jackal's been leaving a trail of fire behind today since just after first bell. Lips flapping all over about her being back and not being picky about the level of jobs she's doin. She ain't doin it for coin either.” Samwise is one of her favorite informants. A good man, in that perpetual bachelor state and happy about it, he's unmatched when it comes to knowing what fingers are ready to snatch purses and sending someone off to do a job and doesn't even claim a huge cut for the information. If the underworld of Val Royeaux has a pulse Samwise is the one with the fingers around it. At least without going into the aspects Sera has no interest in. She's not one for playing thief most the time and assassinations are not her thing at all. Really Sera is better at mischief and setting up for public humiliation which is a very in demand skill in this place as sometimes it's considered far more lethal to a family than a mere death would be.

 

“Yeah? Whassup with what she's taken, eh?” Sera feels her lips twitch though because for whatever reason -she's neither blind nor stupid thank you- her fellow rogue and Glory Snory have been making eyes at each other for ages now. Seriously she could probably shoot an arrow into all that tension between them and have it just stick like in a hay target. Normally she'd laugh up a storm or sneer too because they're both elves and it's so elfie to do the whole be together for more little pointy brats. Except..

 

Tavaiya. She gets her. Tavaiya's a little too wild, a lot of rogue. She's so near to Sera's own story while being entirely different but they get each other. And frankly, people get off on the _weirdest_ things. Heck, Sera's been eyeing a cute little dwarven lass that's been showing up and talking magic lately so who is she to cast stones?

 

But really. She thinks Tavaiya should have tried a few wilder young men first before going for the oldest not half dead and wrinkled elf Sera's ever seen.

 

Samwise finally shrugs. He's not a smart character, takes time to think things over but it also means what he does remember is scary accurate. In his line of work that means a lot more. “Most everything. Even stuff 'low her level.”

 

Now that makes Sera's brow raise. Usually Rogues achieve a ranking of the sort of jobs they'll do and don't go back down. For instance Sera is above petty thievery but she'd do some middle of the range sort if it's for a good enough cause. It's like asking a master assassin to put sleeping draught in a kid's cup.

 

For a rogue to go and do _everything_ nearly, especially so very far below their rank..wait..

 

“What 'bout above?”

 

Samwise nods. “Still the usual rules. No kids, no innocents..” That usually means servants around here. “But not much else.”

 

Sera purses her lips because the last few times this happened are why she even knew about Tavaiya. The story was spread that it was 'the Jackal's madness' and periodically she'd snap and do everything. It put her on every radar so fast that Sera normally would have sneered except she knew one important thing. Tavaiya _cared_ about the Inquisition. Thought of Tam very fondly. Was looking at old Elvhen Glory's butt far too often.

 

That same person knew the ball that could make or break things for the Inquisition and her friends was only two days away. This was not the Jackal's madness. This was her making a huge statement equivalent to painting Orlais violet and being found holding the brush. Sera licked her lips, mind racing.

 

Tavaiya had been adamant she could not be seen as _oh!_

 

_Not as part of the Inquisition._ That didn't mean she couldn't make a statement by proving herself and getting right back in the minds of the Orleisan gossips and then seeming friendly with the Inquisitor and his people!

 

'Holy shit!' Sera blinked. 'Tavaiya's going to make a blatant declaration to all of Orlais in doing this that the Inquisition can _call_ on her!' It was subtle, sneaky, and Sera may not go for that herself but she could just feel the smirk pulling at her lips. Because this? Yeah. This was good. In a fashion that would make Orlais pay attention Tavaiya would be stating her preference without impeding her own connections. It was a _massive_ endorsement for those who played the underworld.

 

Sera would not endanger that. “Right. You got my usual?” She finally stated instead and Samwise smiled, unaware that he had been helping the Inquisition all morning already and was about to do more. Fine, Tavaiya could play the subtle angle, Sera was best at the obvious and where Tavaiya would make the nobles humm behind their porcelain faces Sera could ensure the servants knew that Red Jenny had an operative that thought the Inquisition was worth working with.

 

There'd be no shortage of information and perhaps slipping away to work for them at Skyhold that way, and that was far more Sera's style.

 

“Of course.” Samwise agreed and began explaining to her a few 'mishaps' that needed to happen to humiliate a lesser noble group.

 

 


	37. Chapter 37

The heat was exceptionally stifling down in her resting place. A small alcove in an alley littered with such and a few nondescript people selling wrapped pre-made food in waxed paper wrappings that would be dropped in several bins down the alley to be wiped down and reused later. That no chevalier knew of this or the half dozen places like it, was something of a joke amongst the undesirables and underworld's denizens. Because, had they but known, most of their thieves and crooks, hidden wanted for various crimes both real and imagined, would have been easy pickings. Like so much of Orlais, and society in general though, those they were avoiding simply had no idea. Here she could take a moment, breathe, and gather herself in relative anonymity as everyone's masks were put away and gray or black or brown makeshift ones with eye holes took their place.

 

Tavaiya leaned her head back against the wall, being careful to keep her chin down though. Just in case. The latest item she'd been sent after was snugly hidden in one of the many flaps of fabric in her attire along with the usual assortment of vials and supplies she kept with her. There was thankfully, no tremors to her hands.

 

Considering that she had taken several low key potions for everything from increasing her perception to helping keep her awake and no small number for effects that were verging on the edge of street magician sleight of hand it was testament to her numerous experiments in combining said potions that there were currently no ill effects. Elan had always been up for a round of test the vial mixes instead of opening a cask of ale and been more help than she could have imagined. In that way, his legacy from their hours of whittling time away was even now helping to keep her safe.

 

It was only mid afternoon and Tavaiya was weary down to her bones. Street food of the sort busy rogues and servants took was entirely different from what the common folk meandering in the ostentatious streets would find. Taste was entirely eschewed for function and energy. Bread that was more dense and dark and meats cut from less tasty but more nutritious parts, cheeses preferably on the softer side to help moisten the mess. Perhaps a second slightly softer bread stuffed with fruits and nuts for an immediate pick up in energy but just dry enough you needed a flask to chase it down. No one could risk spilling on their uniforms after all. It was heavy food that sat in your torso and normally Tavaiya would have never even thought to sweep one up in exchange for a few coins and gone to find something lighter but right now as she slumped in the shady corner?

 

Aside from checking that it truly was free of poisons the rogue couldn't have told anyone what was actually in the stuffed bread she was monotonously chewing. She just needed to replace her energy, having expended it extensively through the morning and afternoon. Fortunately seeing someone in a head scarf with holes cut for their eyes while they ate was normal amongst the servants, no one wishing to scuff their mask after all, and so eyes slipped past her form. It did make her lips tempted to curve though as she doubted many of her fellow elves here, meek and timid servants mixing with weary and just over and done with their master's latest idiosyncrasies, knew that they were sharing space with the unsavory sort. Those whom knew, just didn't care. No fighting ever happened in these alleys because they wanted to keep it from being found by the authorities so actually it was quite safe for a weary servant to find a moments respite here.

 

Every so often though, Tavaiya's gaze was pulled towards the ornate rooftops and she'd fight a smile remembering cajoling her lover to watch the sun rise earlier. It felt like a week ago, but it was wonderful to see that Solas could still appreciate the common spectacles of nature and let go of the immense strain that trying to aid and advise Tam and the Inquisition was putting on his shoulders. Solas was a brilliant, frighteningly capable mage unlike any other. The pieces to a puzzle scattered about her senses suggested he was far more so than she was aware, but Tavaiya was content to keep the blindfold on for now.

 

It wasn't as if she couldn't tell he had his secrets. They'd almost come between them more times than she could count and if the _only_ way she could get her stubborn paramour to accept what they had while they had it was to consciously turn her thoughts away from the inconsistent information she had, she would.

 

Swallowing hard in a way that had nothing to do with the meal she'd just forced down Tavaiya bit back a bitter chuckle. They'd not even been apart that long and she found her thoughts straying back to him. She had it terrible with this level of infatuation. Closing her eyes for just a moment, Tavaiya could admit it.

 

She was madly in love with a man she knew with all her senses, that dazzled her other abilities in every way, spoke and thought in ways that entranced her, and was a complete stranger at the same time.

 

Perhaps the most concerning part of it all was that she was entirely all right with that.

 

Another deep breath and she finally shoved herself back out of the alcove she'd hidden herself in. Once she turned in this little trinket she was done for now. By doing so many tasks in broad daylight where most waited for the relative safety of the evening it had been many times more effective for circulating her name and reputation again. The lack of accepting payment was not as innocent as it would seem to someone unused to Orlais either. That meant she was collecting 'favors', debts to be repaid in the future where being able to hold onto them was a currency all it's own. Tavaiya shook her head as once more she felt a longing for the days when she'd flounce in to harass Elan about bringing her to this strange place with games and politics more complicated when people argued over what they'd have for breakfast than many a nation would have over their armed treaties! It had been good for them, for her.

 

The pain in her heart still there and bleeding as it always would doubtlessly for Tavaiya loved fiercely without reservation, and she knew that if the fluttering of butterfly wings along her senses had over the years branded her so truly..well it was no wonder that the mages making up the inquisition were some of the most powerful she'd met. In far more than just skill, will, drive, compassion. They were all around simply legends waiting to be told.

 

For just a heart beat Tavaiya perched on the roof, the wind blowing as she set her mask back in place and wondered. If not for Solas constantly drawing her attention and keeping her returning even if just to play their games, whom would she have followed? As much as she loved Damian she was meant to be feathered outside of Antiva and would have never flourished in such a place. Tam needed her but not so much now that Dorian completed him, theirs was a relationship that many should strive to. Healthy, supportive, understanding.

 

Vivian. Familiar to her, and Tavaiya could only be amazed at the woman's strength of will. Her pride in the circle's when they worked, her grace and wit. The woman intimidated many and yes, from Tam and Solas she could understand even more the uproar many had like her mother and Elan over mages being locked away. But from those she had battled alongside and for the Inquisition in areas that the Nightingale would send her because Tam was too naïve still to accept what had to be done? Tavaiya could not say that Vivian was entirely _wrong._ Many a mage turned to a sort of scorched earth template when their backs were against a wall and did not care any longer if they killed or took out the innocents.

 

Tavaiya did not think Vivian and the circles were right, but she could not argue for the Templar's either. The first she'd met outside of Alistair to be honorable people more concerned with the right thing than the Maker's Dogma were Cullen and Cassandra.

 

There was no good answer. Without Elan she was adrift, except Solas had drawn her attention from the first evening in Haven after the conclave exploded. Continued to, their games twisting and spiraling and before she had known to even consider another option, Tavaiya had felt the need to claim the elusive and admittedly prickly apostate's attention for herself.

 

'Come with me.' He'd urged that morning when she had to leave, the tone, the low insistent growl to his voice had wreaked havoc on her at any point she was not actively working since. Licking her lips Tavaiya frowned only briefly before making her decision. She could not simply let Solas out of her life but she was going to make him work to convince her to follow whenever he finally left. That he was even planning for it though, without a word to anyone perhaps save herself meant the mage who knew the most about the anchor, the rifts, the artifact that Corypheus had? He saw this ending soon enough to make plans for later.

 

Oddly she did not find that a comfort.

 


	38. Missing one apostate

AN: Meant to have more to this but work is going to keep me busy for a few days so figured something is better than nothing.

 

()()()()()()()

Despite being allowed to take mounts to travel from Skyhold, there were times it seemed as if the ever stretching landscape had gone by faster when it was unfamiliar, the first time, walking and riding this way. He didn't wish to say he was jaded but there were only so many fields and roads you could see before you simply ceased finding it interesting.

 

Varric was glad when they finally located the inn they were staying at even if the rest of the group that had arrived earlier were out. They'd be back in an hour or so in time to eat. That was one thing with their little rag tag group, not a one of them didn't enjoy the act of stuffing their faces even if it was with the Orleisan food stuffs. He was still snickering at the fact that Madame de Fer would have Bull and his charger's at one of her many 'homes' belonging to her patron but didn't doubt it would send quite the message to her own enemies. Call that woman anything but clever and you'd be lying. Varric could appreciate that almost as much as her cheekbones.

 

And seriously, the idea of Bull sipping tea from a tiny cup? Priceless.

 

Blackwall had come with him, as had Cole, and the Advisors would show up the next day. In the interim they were finally putting their things in the inn that honestly an entire floor had been booked at this point by their little group, before heading down to dinner. Varric waved Blackwall off saying he wanted to properly secure the room first and the Warden said nothing as he went to find food. Yeah, after being around Anders it didn't surprise Varric in the slightest that Blackwall's first concern was food once they were in someplace safe. As for the kid? Well, Cole was always there when he wanted to be.

 

As was a bit of a habit of his, the dwarf got around to picking the locks on each of his fellow teammate's rooms and checking on things. Little things, honestly meaning well, such as making certain the windows locked and there weren't any false doors hiding. You'd be surprised how often that happened after all. Nor was he at all surprised when he reached the conjoined bedrooms that Cassandra and Tavaiya had -a few of the rooms had them and met for a living area in the middle those had smaller bathrooms with proper soaking tubs still. This was definitely an improvement over the last time they'd stayed in a place here- and almost got hit by one of her traps.

 

Now that was a bit of amusement because he _knew_ this was leading to the Seeker's room. Then again, she did seem to blunder into them a lot less these days. Huh. Maybe he had an answer of why. The two women were close after all. A friendship that much of the time reminded him of himself and Hawke. Being careful to keep it intact as Varric completely agreed on the protecting the Seeker while she slept part, he slipped inside. There was nothing of concern, except that her window was not entirely secure but one of Bianca's bolts wedged into the right spot and no one would be forcing it open at least. That done he moved back to check on Tavaiya's room and that time he had to roll his eyes. Because, of course.

 

That blasted she-elf and her poisons.

 

It was why Varric was currently leaning against the wall in the hallway, hallucinating a bit about them moving and just glad she'd all but pranked him instead of doing something damaging. As it were he was quite unsteady, the open window she'd left had a bit of fabric and a crack of being open so she'd obviously done it as a way to get back in later if she needed to and he let it be. Not that he could help it as the very act of leaving her room is when the trap got him. Bloody trickster that she could be. Seriously. Who trapped leaving a room?

 

Snickering to himself he had to amend that thought. After all he remembered. If his Red Lyrium future self had interpreted even half those looks and subtle brushes of hands over arms, trailing along jaw or short shorn curls? Something told Varric that Tavaiya was an unconsciously possessive lover. Probably wouldn't put it past her to trap Solas from being able to leave especially considering that Chuckles was very fond of slippery exits in word and deed he shouldn't be able to get out of. In his anything but currently properly functioning mind that seemed to spark the marvelous idea of tracking the said apostate down and seeing if he couldn't tease him. Subtly, of course.

 

As subtle as Carver was about his ego and sword.

 

The biggest issue after navigating the stairs however, seemed to come right on the matter of er..well..finding said elf.

 

“Hey, where's Chuckles hiding? Off napping in a sewer again?”

 

The group shifted around, shrugs and blank expressions meeting him even as glasses were set aside on the table where dinner was laid out.

 

“We did not see him after lunch. Considering he wouldn't even wear the basic mask..probably not a terrible situation for my eyes. I wouldn't be surprised if Chevalier's of attire abducted him for offending the eyes.” Dorian drawled as he looked into his wine. Tam shoved his lover good naturedly.

 

“He is probably up in his room, I can't imagine he wouldn't have beaten us back.”

 

“Well if _someone_..” Dorian drawled teasingly. “Had not gotten into the section on the Dalish and started spluttering about it being wrong and you were not a savage barbarian..”

 

“It _was_ wrong.”

 

“Oh shove off Inky.” Sera butted in and snickered. Frankly she adored the way the two lovebirds would get fiesty like this but after a very busy day herself she wanted to just indulge in drinks and maybe go flirt with the cute waitress over there. Well, cute from what she could see, the woman was wearing a mask after all. “Anywhoo yeah, Glory is probably all bein Snory and Boring because that's what he does.”

 

Now here Varric's still slightly capable mind despite the levels of whatever toxin Tavaiya had used, thankfully assured to be nonlethal, still caught onto the flaw in the logic. “I was in his room to make sure there weren't any weird things. Not there.” Actually if not for a few bags of book and trinkets that he knew Solas liked to travel with he'd have thought no one had been in there. Even the bed had been made and nothing out of place. It was like the elf was a ghost who didn't wish to leave tracks, always strange.

 

“Uh Varric?” Tam leaned over worried. “You just fell on the floor..”

 

Varric had to fight the urge to sigh. Yes, state the obvious Inquisitor. He'd only toppled off the cushion but fortunately landed sideways and rolled to his back not his front. Wasn't as if he had any choice in the matter his whole body aside from his face felt like it had gone to sleep. “That's because of Secrets. Something there.”

 

“You were in Tavaiya's room?” Cassandra's tone drawled out and Varric cursed mentally as whatever muscular control he may have attempted to regain vanished under her golden tones. Maker what that woman's voice could do to him.

 

“Ye-es.”

 

“...did it hit you when you _left?_ ” And hot blisters on Andraste's painted toes but did she sound amused? Why couldn't he make himself sit up? The mouth was still working but his form just felt worse off than the time he had tried making his own ale.

 

“Indeed. You know what it is that has me down, beautiful?”

 

Someone was laughing but Varric couldn't turn his head, at least the pun had been appreciated.

 

A long suffering disgusted sigh, and then Cassandra's face was looming over, smirking. The dance of her eyes enchanted the helpless dwarf even as what she said was having trouble sinking in. “Combination of hers, you do know she likes those. Something of a interrogation drug. It gets you talking and so relaxed that one cannot attempt to escape.”

 

All of a sudden Varric pictured it actually working on Solas and he made a mental note to help supply Secrets with whatever ingredients she needed. Come to think of it, he needed some of this stuff. Instead he affected a wicked grin. “Anything you want to know, gorgeous?”

 

“Okay this is funny. Really. I mean that..” Tam interrupted much to Sera and Blackwall's booing as they had been whispering over things to ask the dwarf in his current state. “But if Solas isn't back I'm a bit worried.”

 

That felt like ice water to most of them because say what you would about the Herald turned Inquisitor, he of the glowing hand. The boy had freakish instincts on when things were not going well especially for one of them. Nor was it any secret he adored their frankly weird as could be bunch and saw Solas in particular as a beloved elder figure.

 

“...Two copper says he got kidnapped.” Sera blurted out. All eyes, save the pair that couldn't see her from the floor, landed on her at that.

 

“What? Come on he aint wearin the mask, he wanders round with his staff standing out like his shiny head! Mage? Elf? Someone's gonna go. Oh. You match the description o that glowy hand sky hole shite group. This is Val Royeaux.” Sera groaned as they didn't seem to get it. “Why's Varric gota be all stupid right now n Tavaiya gone. Bein the only rogue is tough..look people there's probably a ransom note for us at the check in.”

 

“Uh if I may point it out..” Blackwall interjected. “That's just not likely..”

 

“I'll go check.” Tam sighed and Varric could hear him walking away. Still staring up at the ceiling his ears just listened to the various chatter around him before Tam's return.

 

“..er. Everyone? There..there was a note.”

 

A triumphant crow came from the elfin rogue. “HA! Told ya!”

 

Oh they would never hear the end of that.

 

“So um.” Tam cleared his throat. “Since they were so kind as to give us a note with a location we can go and..liberate..my hahren but Varric?..”

 

“Small group would be best.” Varric gave his input from the floor. He was getting used to the effects now, his brain working for all it felt like he was half drowned in wine. Well wasn't like that was unfamiliar to him, he'd lived at the hanged man where it was assuredly not safe to drink the water almost anywhere in Kirkwall. Fuzzy around the edges of his thoughts maybe, but fully capable of planning better in that state than many would ever when sober. “Where's Secrets? Her n Buttercup can mastermind this. They know this city.”

 

“Oh she's gone probably till midnight at least. Off making statements to peoples.” Sera chimed in and at the heavy pause the blonde elf just groaned. “Oh for..why do we gotta be outnumbered with the bash things till it works and set it on fire group. Gimme a break. She's being sneaky to make a statement at the ball.”

 

“How in the name of Mythal..” Tam began only to have Varric sigh heavily. Really if they let this keep going Solas would start losing his eyebrow hairs to being bald as well before they rescued him.

 

“Doesn't matter. Sera should lead, probably small party. Small, Tam. None of that take half of Skyhold stuff you like to pull. Ambush. No magic, no flash.” Varric huffed. “Just like Kirkwall all over again, you start flinging spells and everyone's going to come down on you.”

 

“Downed dwarf has a point.” Sera agreed and Varric could just feel her tapping her foot on the ground. “Tam ya goin I take it?”

 

Tam's eyes were dark as he considered not being one to go after his elder. “Of course.”

 

Having expected that and wishing to avoid the risk of more spells being danced around Sera ticked off the other two on her fingers. “Blackwall n Cassandra would be good..muscle. I can gets em from up high n sideways and they'll never know.”

 

“Cole.” Varric chimed in. “Be good to have..”

 

“I can help.” Cole agreed from where he had apparently been perched on the table, making most everyone jump. “Solas will listen to me, won't be a problem.”

 

Only once they had left did Varric clear his throat to ask a favor of Dorian. “So. Help me off the floor?”

 


End file.
